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Female Submissive, 29, Springfield, Massachusetts
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Female Dominant, 36, Denver, Colorado
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Male Submissive, 31, Bozeman, Montana
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About Wynterwhispers
I have been in and out of the lifestyle and I have been gone from Collarspace for a couple of years. Looking forward to becoming more active again. However, I still believe this holds true from my last profile all those years ago.
When I first came here I wanted to learn and gain experience. That I wanted to feel needed and desired. But what I didn't realize at the time is that I needed to feel those things in order to fill that submissive side of me. Am I always submissive? No...so if you are looking for somone that will just lay down and take whatever is given, lick your boots, hangs on every word, is a your beck and call 24/7. Then keep looking because I am not the woman.
I know my mind. I know my heart. I know the very depth of my soul. I know what I need. I know what I want. I don't need someone dictating every movement, every thought, every action of my life. Someone might even go as far as to say I don't have a submissive bone in my body and definately not a slave.
Well,perhaps to that person, but what they fail to realize is that.. D/s is not one size fits all. Very far from it. Not every submissive is submissive to a Dominant. The Dominant has to earn that right to have that submissive let go of their control and hand it over freely by their own conviction. It can't be forced.
D/s needs to be 50/50...if it isn't, it won't work regardless of what you try. Both the Dominant and the Submissive need to be present in every aspect. One can not be without the other. They are two parts of a whole. There is really no right or wrong way to be in this lifestyle. Its all about choices. There is really no pre printed guide book on How to D/s Correctly or no How to BDSM 101. And what is out there is someone's opinion and their beliefs. Sure there is guidelines on basic principles that everyone does or should follow. I won't disagree with those or its flat out abuse.
There are may different types of subs and one can even break that down even further. No one person can telll you what type you are. That is your choice...you know what you want, you know what you need, you know what you crave. I once identified myself as a slave...I even went as far as to become some spineless creature under that person's control. It broke me in ways that I will always struggle with and heal from. I once identified myself as just a submissive. Then I got questions of what kinda of submissive was I...natural, forced, a played role. In hind sight, I have been and done all three, because every Dom is different, so I catered to their needs. Not my own needs. Thus once again, I found myself in a struggle of wills. I wasn't happy.
So again, I looked within myself and really thought about what I wanted. It was really hard to idenitfy those things at first. What I found was that I couldn't just submit to just anyone at any given time. That just wasn't me. I have to really feel the need to submit...the need to be able to turn to that person for guidance...to need and want to give my trust...to give my heart, mind, body and soul to that person yet still be my own person with my own thoughts and desires. I need to be me. I need to be allowed to be me...be allowed to express myself..be allowed to grow and devolop more. This world is ever changing..if you can not grow and develop with it then you have become a mindless robot for the lack of better terms.
As I said above I didn't find one perfect area to describe myself, so I will say this. Why does there have to be labels in the first place? Why does it have to be black and white? Life is about colors.. If you made thus far into reading my profile, I will give you some brownie points and good for you. I would call myself a Submissive Babygirl. Of course, I know that doesn't even remotely make sense according the labels and definitions that there seems to be. I think there are parts of me that identify with both labels. It doesn't mean that I switch this two identifiers at will. They are just two parts of my whole. They make me..If you can't understand that then you are not the Dominant for me. |
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