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Liljoe60
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Spanky714
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ashtraySissy
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sweetboo7777
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toyofmyMistress
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dom51
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kcdom4u
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MistressZion
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Blond4fun
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MasterWindtalker
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| Just here to read the forums and maybe write in the journals if the urge hits me. Thank you for all the lovely emails. I am happy to answer emails from potential friends, but I have found what I was seeking and I am no longer looking for anything other than like-minded friendships.
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Sub Males...may I have your attention for a split second here.
No, I don't want to see your panties. I don't wear them, why would I care about yours?
No, I don't want to watch you cam. If I have an urge to watch a man masturbate, there is one here in the house with me, who would be willing to oblige me in that should I ask.
FRIENDSHIP: If you want to chat about hobbies, interests, politics, religion, the state of affairs in the world today, a cool movie you watched or any of the other mundane things friends discuss....please feel free to email me.
If you are only looking for someone to stroke your ego while you are stroking your Mr Happy, this is the wrong profile. |
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Take Me
Whisper to me,
thrill me with
the softness of words
as they fall upon my ears
and trickle down
the side of my neck
in a waterfall of passion.
Touch me,
with hands of iron
wrapped in softest satin
trekking over my body,
firebrand fingertips
sending sparks of white heat
to places yet untouched.
Kiss me,
with questing lips
filled with firm resolve
that will suffer my words no longer,
lips devouring
unspoken thoughts
before they are born.
Take me,
to another place
where time has folded
and pleasure is the only master
and silence will be broken,
broken by devouring lips, soft words
and passionate cries.
Dee..August 24, 2009 |
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A Dream I had last night has me burning for the stripe of a lash across my back. I hate when that happens.
Hard to scratch an itch when it seems everyone has broken their fingernails off.... |
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I am currently seeking to step back into the lifestyle slowly, with only 'play dates' for the time being. I have many things happening in my life at the time, so I have numerous time constrictions.
I will never be ready to meet at the drop of a hat.
I will not meet a stranger in a private setting.
I will be using safe calls.
I will bring my ID as proof of who I am, I will expect the same.
I will not meet for sex, no matter how kinky.
You will have to be patient with me to start, I am relatively new to practical application of many things.
I seek a teacher. |
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Reply to message from StripeMaster:
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And just for the record NO one here gives a fuck about all the rambling bullshit in your so called journals
**( This is the first time this idiot has ever contacted me..Ya see what I mean about stupid people. Judge me, but be prepared for me to return the favor.)**
Well then pray tell oh mighty fuck waffle, what is it that possessed you to share your unwanted opinion with me then?
This little exchange with you will be my next Journal entry. I am not sure if you will be able to read it, cause I am gonna block you when I send this.
Was one of your submissives twisting your arm and forcing you to read my journal?
Or is it just that sitting there in your mother's basement with your World of Warcraft game running in the background all the time getting to be boring so you had to sally forth into reality and fuck with me?
As far as noone giving a fuck, you are absolutely right I don't. Just wanted to speak my piece back to your smug arrogant ass. There is a hell of a difference between dominant and abusive and I do think you should give serious consideration to the fact that I view you as the latter. Do not fuck with me twit, you will not win. I bow to true dominance, but to an abusive rude jerk? Bring your A game and come on to my house....we can see who cries first, ok?
Better hope you are TRULY bulletproof.
Now thank you, run along and play with the doormats that will tolerate a prick like you.
And Have a VERY NICE DAY.
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In light of the NUMEROUS emails I get concerning my tattoos, thought I would just explain myself, so I don't have to do so 50 times a day.
For those who like them, Thank You!
For those who don't, move on to the next profile and keep your negativism to yourself. My delete and block buttons are tired.
For those who are genuinely curious.
First and foremost, no, I have never, and will never regret getting them. They are as much a part of who I am as my hair. They have meaning to me, and they are a connection to the core of me, to my past. And they are a connection with me and the artist who did the work. Almost all the ink I have on me was put there by someone I consider to be a true friend. For most tattooists are blessed with the ability to see the world as a whole, and ACCEPT people as they ARE, not who they themselves wish them to be.
I worked as a tattooist for many years. I was in a car accident, that has given me some nerve damage in my neck that affects my abilities. And since I have a moral obligation to the person getting the tattoo, I will no longer take the risk of putting needle to skin. They have not made a tattoo machine with an eraser....
I have work from twelve different artists on me. Of that twelve, nine are still very close and dear friends, one is an internationally known artist, and one was a lady I met at a convention whose work I admired, and one was my teacher, who has sadly passed on.
So there you have it.
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Well, its time for a profile re-vamp. Not really sure how I want to word things and keep it to the point, so I thought I would expand on a few things here in my journal.
First and foremost I am changing things back to submissive.
For a time, I thought I was a switch. Mainly because there are people in this world that I do not feel one tiny bit submissive towards. And there are people in this world, that nothing on earth would give me greater joy than to give them the 'slinky treatment' and push them down a flight of stairs.
But in my core being, there is a need for me to be submissive to someone. It has been so very very long since I have felt that way towards another human being. And I really wonder some days if I will ever feel that way towards someone again.
The trappings and the scenes of the lifestyle are only a part of it for me. The heart of me would love to give over all control, would love to live only to serve one master, to make it my one purpose to please him in all ways.
But in giving over that much of myself, I open a path to my heart, and lay my spirit bare to be abused, manipulated, and hurt by another.
And physical pain is nothing, emotional pain leaves scars that never heal.
But I am willing to open a small doorway to that person, in the hopes that someday my true master will step through it, will see that rather than being just another piece of property, (not into a Goren lifestyle at all, not against it either, I am just not cut out for that), that there is a flesh and blood human being, who wishes to make one master completely happy, to meet and exceed every task he gives me, to make my one goal pleasing him. But still realize that because I am human, I will make mistakes along the way.
I am not into the online domination, I refuse to refer to myself as 'this girl' or in the third person. I refuse to spend time typing everything with a slash mark, and the title Sir is earned with me. I will always be respectful, but if I don't know you, and you don't know me, beyond words on a page, then to call someone Sir would be nothing more than a farce for me at best.
There are a number of things that I have no desire to do alone, one being dominant to another. How can I be someone elses' dominant, when I barely have control over my own life? However, should MY dominant wish to see me dominate another, then how would I refuse him?
And this is no disrespect to any of the ladies out there, but I am seeking a male dominant. I might consider play time with a mistress, but I am looking to be collared by a male dominant.
I have no desire to be the 'third party' of a poly household, but would have no issue being the alpha sub in such an arrangement.
I am not interested in play-dates, nor am I interested in public scenes. If you are involved with a larger group, I have no issue being a part of that, but I am too easily distracted by others to get myself in the proper mindset for a scene. Perhaps if the right master comes along, he can help me overcome that, but to start with, I would prefer we begin in a more relaxed atmosphere.
While the best scenes for me are the ones that are accompanied by sex, there is still more to it than that for me. For me, it is more about serving and less about playing. The playing is the icing on the cake, service to one is the main goal I have.
I am pretty sure I am rambling, and there will be several 'opinionated' folks who want to tell me I sound bitchy, or that I am too demanding.
I really don't give a crap what anyone thinks. When I have a Master, I will then have a reason to care about the opinion of others.
The simple truth of the matter is however, that if I am less than forthcoming, I am going to wind up with someone who is unsuited to me, and I to him.
Why on earth would I want to compromise on something like whom I am choosing to serve?
For you see, it is still a choice. One that is made by two people. The opinions of others do not truly factor in, when it all boils down.
If a person has to have a general consensus before they make a decision on something this personal they are far too weak and far too shallow to ever be dominant over me.
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Well, I have made it to Idaho. Wow, is there ever a bountiful amount of snow here!
I think perhaps it is finally time for me to give serious consideration to doing something more than play about the fringes of the lifestyle.
It has been a long time since I have sought to serve, and I think perhaps the time is at hand for me to seriously consider the matter.
Hopefully this little blog entry will not bring a deluge of 'do-me' Dom/mes to my email here.
But then there is always that shiny little delete and block button for those...
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Well, It is official. Moving to Priest River Idaho...tenative date is to be there one week before Christmas!! |
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Sexy Slaveby
blondie
tighter,
your grip
holding my wrists
pinned above my head
bruises,
faint below the skin
aching to feel,
to feel you again
bound,
in blackness
your love a rope
by which i am chained
s u s p e n d e d
near the brink of
ecstasy,
begging
with one final fervent plea
release me |
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In light of yesterday's irritations, problems, and complete pains in my ass...I set out last night to eradicate all my stress....Yeah, Houston, we have had a successful mission...
It started with a long hot shower...warm water sluicing away my irritations, leaving my skin warm and damp...hair pulled up. Dressed in only my silk robe and a collar, I knelt patiently by her chair...she stroked my hair and held me close to her.
She rose from the seat, and asked me to set in the chair on my knees, and then she bound my hands tightly and tied them to the chair legs...
The first kiss of the paddle was like a liquid fire that started in my hips and ran the course of my body with lightening speed...exquisite...desire begins building, deep in my stomach...and spreading throughout my body. My back arches, I reach for the subsequent blows, needing to feel the heat of them, needing to feel that sharp snap that brings my blood to a slow boil....She knows this. And with calculated thought, she lays down the paddle and rakes her long red nails across my warmed ass and up my back....my body gives an immediate response, a sheen of sweat begins to dampen my body...the first kiss of the flogger brings me sharp focus...and the following bite of the dragons tongue is like a lover's kiss across my tender red ass...
After a time, when her warm-up is complete, I am released....and burning from the inside out.
The love-making session lasted 3 hours...her long hair, her sparkling eyes, her soft lips...her laughter, her kisses....HER....
Her husband plays as well. He uses our bodies, first hers, then mine, then hers again, as I watch the ecstasy crossing her face, eyes closed, head back, offering up her vulnerable throat, gasps through her parted lips that sound like a symphony on my ears....I watch as she orgasms again and again, so intimately connected at this moment that I can almost feel her pleasure...
Yes, and today, there is peace. The stress is lost to the moments shared last night, and there is quiet in my soul once more |
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A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a
beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely,
she inadvertently breaks wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously
to see if anyone has noticed her little accident
and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes
in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete
professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with,
'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman
may just not have been there at the time of her
little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this
lovely bracelet?'
He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it,
you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price.'
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Just got an email from a friend. Some half witted, red-necked, retarded ASSHOLES shot and killed her dogs.
How the fuck do people have the brass to call my ls choices sick, when they can do shit like this without any regards for life?
This world really disgusts me some days.
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Gentle Thoughts for Today
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The
older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight; because by then your
body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's
always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For
example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't
hurt.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then, you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Dear Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder, and your hand over my mouth... Amen!!
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I had such a wonderful evening!
I have a gf who is an experienced and sensual top. I would wear a collar for her in a New York minute if she were to ask me to. I simply adore her. But alas, she is not wishing to collar anyone. She herself wears her husbands collar, and that is a full time job in itself.
But last night, we were all sitting in her room, talking and goofing off on the net, when she motioned me to her bed.
She pushed me over her husbands lap, and as he held me immobile, she alternately spanked me and then when my backside felt as if it were going to catch on fire, she would rake her nails over the tender flesh...I still get goose-flesh thinking about it.
It is good to be playing again, my stress level is nil today. First time in weeks!
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For the last couple of weeks, I have been expanding my portfolio of experiences.
I don't know why, probably a stress coping mechanism, but my masochistic streak seems to be wanting to stretch its legs.
I have always been one who likes to push the envelope, walking on a razor's edge is a thrill in and of itself.
I sometimes I feel as if all my life has been something like walking a tightrope without a net....one misstep will take me over the edge....but, strangely enough, this does not cause fear, it fills me a sense of wonder, a questioning of what is over that horizon....
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I have no idea what lunar phase the moon is in right now, but it needs to knock the shit off, or I am going to give going postal a good reputation....my frustration level seems to be somewhere between 12 on the richter scale and nuclear implosion....
Things that normally don't phase me have gotten under my skin to the point of killing...
This week needs to end! |
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eager1tu or what the hell ever you call yourself...QUIT emailing me you jackass, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU AT ALL PERIOD IN NOOOOO WAY!! |
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Ok, just to clairfy some things....
I have mentors...they ARE and ALWAYS will be part of my life. They are more than my mentors, they are two of the best friends I have in the world, and they are people who have earned my TRUST and my RESPECT. Anyone approaching me will have to accept that fact. If I should agree to be someone's submissive, they will still be a part of my life, no negotiation.
I am a SWITCH, but I am more strongly submissive than Domme. I am not seeking a full time sub, and I am not seeking to find a playmate. I might agree to play with a sub, but there will never be any 24/7 arrangements, and truthfully my playtime is limited.
My submission is not based in my sexuality. Should I become a submissive to someone, I will be what they wish of me. BUT I can tell you right now, all of you "Do-Me Dom's" are wasting time contacting me. Sex is easy to find, a Dom who understands the difference between "dominant" and "abusive" is not. I am noones doormat, and I do have a working mind that I excercise the ability to use daily. |
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I am moving to the STL area in a few days! Scared but hopeful, but I will be visiting KC on a regular basis once I am settled...Off on a new adventure!! |
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An actual letter to the passport office
Dear Sir,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!
SHIT!
I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes working there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin' morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate fucking Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 . I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA!
David Pidcock |
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The Lone Ranger is captured by Indians.
The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor
of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before
I kill you, I will grant you three requests.
What is your first request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.'
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who
whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away. Later that
evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. 'You have a
very fine and loyal horse but I will still kill you in two days. What
is
your second request?'
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to
him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes
off across the plains and disappears over the horizon .
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this
time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters
the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. 'You are
indeed a man of many talents but I still kill you tomorrow. 'What is
your last request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse....alone.'
The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone
Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him
square in the eye and says, ; 'Listen very carefully you dumb ass
horse. For the last time . . BRING POSSEE'. |
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In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.
Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick??)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(...so they'll never know they went blind?)
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...
Reason: Under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere
else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Now this is justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
to pass this law?)
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending
machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be
dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls over on its right
side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...? Wonder how much the the govt.
paid for this relevant bit of research??)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, geez)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too) |
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A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to
the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin'
and I grinned.
"Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan's Liniment will
reduce the swelling', and I had to smile.
"Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's
Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
"BUT, your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign
that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it. |
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Summer is upon us, and my already limited freetime is to the point of non-existence...If you mail me and I don't get back to you immediately it means one of two things...
1: You were rude and I have chosen to ignore you.
2: I haven't had the time to send you a response.
Most of the time I read my mail while I am on lunch at work, and there are times that I have time to read my mail, but not respond as fully as I would like to, so I will send a quick note. It may take me a week or longer to respond. I don't have internet service at my home, because my PC is old and I live in the north 40 of nowhere right now and all I can get is dial-up. I am not going to pay for something that is merely going to irritate the hell out of me.
So if you have emailed me, and haven't received a response, don't assume that I am ignoring you. I am simply a busy person with limited time.
Unless you were rude. If you were rude, assume anything you care to, in my opinion, you were already presumptious enough, and nothing you say or think will matter to me anyway. |
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A REDNECK LOVE POEM
SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.
PAPPY TOLD HER, 'SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.'
SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL...'
'YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOU' MOTHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.'
BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, 'MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
MARRY WILL, OR MARRY JOE
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.'
Brings a tear to yer eye, don't it? |
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Love....
It's like a machine.
She uses me. Like a piece of meat. Over and over again.
Hard nails digging into
Soft Flesh.
Skin breaking beneath an
unforgiving embrace.
Blood and sweat mingle in the air.
She uses me until I have nothing left.
Then she uses me more.
"Don't Stop."
She doesn't.
" I love you."
She uses me......
And I can't help but like it.
Written by Raven Gregory
for the May 2007 edition of Heavy Metal Magazine |
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A guy fell asleep on the beach for several
hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and
the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous
intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a
Viagra
pill
every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,
"What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor"?
The doctor replied, "'It won't do anything for
his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs."
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If you cannot extend me the courtsey of an introductory email, please do not ask to be in my friends list. |
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Stress Management:
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called the world.
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water.
There now.......... Aren't you feeling better? |
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Federal prosecutors on Monday unsealed an indictment against a man and woman accused of training the woman's child to be a dominatrix, selling her services and photographing some of the acts.
U.S. Attorney John Wood said the case is the first in which a parent of the victim has been charged with the commercial sex trafficking of his or her own minor child.
Todd B. Barkau, 35, of New York, and the 44-year-old mother were charged in the seven-count indictment. Both used to live in Blue Springs, Mo. in the same household.
From Jan. 1, 2002, until Feb. 20, 2005, Barkau created a venture to entice the minor to engage in commercial sex acts, according to the indictment.
"The court filings allege that Barkau obtained control of a 12-year-old girl and he groomed, trained and forced her to become a sexual dominatrix," Wood said at a news conference in Kansas City on Monday.
Barkau was arrested near the Niagara Falls area in New York and had an initial court appearance on Saturday in Buffalo, N.Y., Wood said.
The mother was arrested on Friday in Dallas and was scheduled to have an initial court appearance Monday in federal court. The mother's name is not being published to protect the identity of the victim, who is now 20 years old.
Federal prosecutors, who had investigated the case for nearly two years, have filed a detention motion to detain both in federal custody without bond.
The indictment accused Barkau of training the girl, starting in 2000, and forcing her to engage in sex acts with him and with other men while he watched. According to the indictment, Barkau also had the girl watch pornography on the Internet to teach technique and skills.
Barkau is also accused of later creating a business out of a Blue Springs home when the girl was 14 and marketing her as a 19-to-20-year-old BDSM dominatrix on the Internet for about two years. The domain name has since been sold, Wood said.
Wood said the mother, who lived in Barkau's residence, assisted and encouraged the child to participate. She is charged with participating in a venture to entice a minor to engage in commercial sex acts and with inducing a child who was in her custody to engage in sexually explicit conduct for the production of visual depictions.
"If you are a reasonably responsible law-abiding parent and you are out there doing that with your own children, you should be treated the same way a sex offender would be treated and you should have your children taken away," said Deedra O'Dell, the couple's neighbor.
Prosecutors will also seek $80,000 the couple is accused of making through the illegal acts. |
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Ok, I remember now WHY I had stipulations on my profile before...
I WILL NOT GIVE OUT MY IM OR EMAIL AT INITIAL CONTACT UNLESS I CONTACTED YOU
I WILL NOT ANSWER ANYTHING WRITTEN DISRESPECTFULLY...I might be a bitch, but unless you know me, you have no business calling me that...
NO, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ON THE PHONE, SHOW YOU MY CAM, HAVE CYBER DOM SESSIONS (lmmfao), OR ANYTHING OF THAT SORT
Seriously, is there ANYONE at all that has a half ounce of common courtsey and common sense left online? |
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Ever have something you have known about, known of, experienced, but never really quite understood it, happen to you? And then have it hit you like a ton of bricks...and epiphany if you will.
I have just discovered that after all these years of thinking I had never once been in sub space..I actually have...and now I feel like a complete dorcus!
Tattooing....the endorphin/adreneline high, the being bonded to the feeling of it, the being centered and grounded in the moment that is only me and the pain I am feeling. The intense craving I have EVERYTIME I hear a tattoo machine running or smell the antiseptic cleanliness of a well run tattoo shop......
Holy Ink Fix Batman!! |
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Subject: UCLA STUDY
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ?????....... .......
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW'
problems.... ......... ......
OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.... ......... ...
GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road,
or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no
middle ground here........ ......... ......... ......
COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the
road........ ......... .........
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
the road........ ......... ......... .
JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
against it.......... ......... ......... ...
NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks....... ......... .......
PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.... ......... ......... .....
MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information. ......... ........
DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told........ .......
ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone....... ......... ...
JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly
harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be
crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
that........ ......... ......... ..
GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough...... ......... .......
BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and
went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the
road........ ......... .....
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road........ ......... ......
JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace....... ......... ......... ....
BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^( C% ......... reboot...... ......... ....
ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?.... ......... ......
BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?.... ......... ......... ...
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!.... ......... .........
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?........ ......... .........
DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun? |
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After many years, Cinderella finally reached the ripe age of 95 years old.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she now happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.
Cinderella says, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?
The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. I'm prepared to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken back, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:
"The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother"
"It is the least that I can do," replies her Fairy Godmother. "What do you want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
"Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life!" And with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the Fairy Godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...
"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."
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A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES
He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....
Soon he sees another sign which reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES
Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?'
He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'
'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'
He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'
He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.
The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:
GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER |
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A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME &
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay,she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.
He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'
Again, the old man smiled,'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, 'Rang the doorbell didn't I?'
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Sex against a fence
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first
time we
had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very
tavern where
you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we
can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation
and,
having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see
these two
old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so
there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for
support
aided by walking sticks.
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the
fence..
The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As
she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they
erupt
into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises
and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the
ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about
life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of l ying on the ground recovering, the old
couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly
amazing I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he sa ys to them,'Excuse me, but that was
something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there
some
sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that
wasn't an electric fence.
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Missouri
• Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
• Buckner: In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
• Children can buy shotguns in Kansas City, Missouri... but not toy cap guns.
• Excelsior Springs: Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
• Four women may not rent an apartment together.
• Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
• In Ballwin, Mo., the only place you can use vulgar, obscene or indecent language is in your home.
• In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
• In Springfield, door to door salesman are prohibited from selling their goods while standing in the middle of the road, screaming at passing vehicles.
• In St. Louis, it's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
• In St. Louis, a law on the books makes it illegal to park your car without turning off the engine. This was to avoid scaring horses.
• It is illegal to have oral sex.
• It is not illegal to speed.
• It's illegal to sit on any street curb in St. Louis, Missouri, and drink beer from a bucket.
• Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
• Marceline: Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
• Marquette: It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).
• Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
• Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
• Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
• Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
• Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited.
• St. Louis: It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets. A milk man may not run while on duty.
• University City: Four women may not rent an apartment together. |
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| Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? | |
Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!
Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 911 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband! | |
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Below is an article written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated. He
details his experiences when given the opportunity to fly in a F-14
Tomcat. If you aren't laughing out loud by the time you get to 'Milk Duds,'
your sense of humor is seriously broken.
'Now this message is for America's most famous athletes:
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your
country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have. John Elway,
John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity,
let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity... Move to Guam .
Change your name.
Fake your own death!
Whatever you do.
Do Not Go!!!
I know.
The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I
was toast! I should've known when they told me my pilot would be Chip
(Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in
Virginia Beach.
Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like,
triple it. He's about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair,
finger-crippling handshake -- the kind of man who wrestl es dyspeptic
alligators in his leisure time If you see this man, run the other way.
Fast.
Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the
voice of NASA missions. ('T-minus 15 seconds and counting .' Remember?)
Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad.
Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him
to say, 'We have liftoff'.
Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60
million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin
Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the
flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.
'Bananas,' he said.
'For the potassium?' I asked.
'No, ' Biff said, 'because they taste about the same coming up as they
do going down.'
The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my
name sewn over the left breast (No call sign -- like Crash or Sticky or
Leadfoot. But, still, very cool). I carried my helmet in the crook of
my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to
nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.
A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then
fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would 'egress' me out
of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked
unconscious.
Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed
over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were
flying nose up at 600 mph. We levele d out and then canopy-rolled over
another F-14.
Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride
lasted 80..... It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over
Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops,
yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical
velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it
chased us.
We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at
200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5,
which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing
against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.
And I egressed the bananas.
And I egressed the pizza from the night before.
And the lunch before that.
I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade.
I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G's, I was egressing
stuff that never thought would be egressed.
I went through not one airsick bag, but two.
Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point,
as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing
target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out
of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to
throw down.
I used to know 'cool'. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or
Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know 'cool'. Cool is
guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves. I
wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm glad Biff
does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home
stand.
A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he
and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd send it
on a patch for my flight suit.
What is it?? I asked.
'Two Bags.' |
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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh. I wonder
what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot."I happen to be a highly intelligent,
thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this-how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked,
I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't
you!?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag."Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants
me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just
make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.Weeks go by.The parrot
is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a
great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot
goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if
I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in
a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nighty and
began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began to lick
her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down..."
"WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch." |
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Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular Black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."
She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "Ho w about you, little guy?"
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says .
.
.
.
Liver alone. Cheese mine.
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A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman, 'I couldn't help but notice' he said, 'that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?'
I am sorry if I disturbed you,' she replied. 'I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm.'
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.
'I have never heard of that condition before' he said. 'Are you taking anything for it?'
The woman answered, 'Black Pepper'. |
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To all Pet Owners
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for
it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or
get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must
exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the
bathroom for years -- YOUR attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1 They live here. You don't.
2. If you don' t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'nature.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because
they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.
And finally,
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. |
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These were entries for a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
But what have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell!"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime. |
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TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride
Approached her new
Husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
Lovemaking encounter. In
His highly aroused state, her husband readily
Agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
Love, for more
Than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to
Afford new clothes and other incidentals that
She needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find
Her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
His employer
Was going through a process of corporate
Downsizing, and he had
Been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
59, he'd be able to find
Another position that paid anywhere near what
He'd been earning, and
Therefore, they
Were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
Showed more than thirty
Years of steady deposits and interest totaling
Nearly$1 million. Then she
Showed him certificates of deposits issued
By the bank which were worth over $2 million,
And informed him that they
Were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that
For the more than
Three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
These holdings had multiplied
And these were the
Results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
Worth over $3
Million, her husband was so astounded he could
Barely speak, but
Finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If
I'd had any idea what you
Were doing, I would have given you all my
Business!"
That's when she shot him.
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One day a teacher of some fourth graders draws 3 birds sitting on a telephone line on the black board. She then asks the class if any one can tell her how many birds are left if a farmer comes along and shoots one? Little rotten Johny in the back of the class yells out, "None, the other 2 birds would fly away when they hear the shot!" The teacher thinks about this for a moment and tells him that it wasn't the answer she was looking for, but that she liked the way he thinks. Johny then asks the teacher a question, "Teacher, there are three woman sitting on a park bench and they are all eating ice cream. One of them is licking it, the other one is biting it, and the last one is using a spoon. Which woman is the one that is married?" The teacher is stumped and after a moment she says, "Well I'm not sure but if I were to venture a guess I would say the one that is licking it." Rotten Johny lets out a big laugh and replies, "Wrong.....its the one that is wearing the wedding ring........But I like the way you think!" |
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A woman goes to a surgeon to get rid of her wrinkles. He tells her there is a new invention called "the knob" that gets installed in the back of the head. Any time you get more wrinkles, just turn the knob to tighten up the skin. She has it installed and everything is great for a year.
Then one day she comes back to the surgeon and complains about the bags under her eyes. He says "Let me take a look" then he exclaims "those aren't bags, those are your boobs!"
She responds "Well, I guess that explains the goatee!" |
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NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH
A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated
conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her
attention
is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
'Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'
The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed
pig,'
she retorted indignantly. 'In this country. we don't speak aloud in
Public places about our sex lives.'
'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a
justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'.'
Lol Betcha read it again ;o) |
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It's been a while since I actually 'wrote' something here...my life has taken on the 'so busy I pass myself coming and going' edge.
Life is good for me for the moment. I am happiest when I am working, and actually seeing accomplishment instead of working and spinning my tires.
My growth in the lifestyle is coming along as well. I have been blessed to have made numerous friendships with people who have enlightened me, and with people who have forced me to look deep within to see the truth of who I am, made me think about the choices I have made in the past in regards to the lifestyle...
Think of it as therapy for the kinky.....
There are still many things I am unsure of, so to that end, I am still not actively seeking anything other than friends. Introspection is at its best when it is done slowly. I am tearing down fences, back-tracking and observing. All in all most days it leaves me feeling torn about what I want.
My submissive nature seeks one who has the ability to control me and my rampant mouth and my flippant behavior with a look. Someone who sees into the soul of who I am and owns that rebellious child that lives there.
The dominant side of me, is the weaker entity, but still exists. That portion of my nature seems to become more prominant with men, and as a response to something I would deem abusive, or thoughtless. That side of me is really not who I am I think, merely a creature born as a means of self defense. And it is also, I believe, a wall of sorts. That comes to the forefront of psyche to evade committment...to push away anyone I feel might be getting a little to close.
These are the things that make me toss and turn in the nights, that fill my slumber with fragmented bits of dreams, that both appeal and repel me simultaneously.
Until I come to terms with these things, I will remain a 'student' of the lifestyle. It would be grossly unfair and selfish of me to subject anyone, either Dominant or submissive to the birthing pangs of my self-awareness. |
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A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know
how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you
are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know,
I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots
whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in
the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots
to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying
that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman
responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's
house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were
inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out
in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?"
There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked
over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away,
Francis, our prayers have been answered!"
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Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit
her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a
tree.
"Ah-ha....," The Big Bad Wolf said, "Now I've got you and I'm going to
eat you! EAT! EAT! EAT!..."
Little Red Riding Hood said angrily,
"Damn it, doesn't anybody f**k anymore?"
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$7.00 Sex
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s go to a sex therapist's
office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an
elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing
wrong with the way you have intercourse.' He thanks them for coming,
wishes them good luck, charges them $50 and says good bye.
The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch
again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment,
has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry,
but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out ? '
The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's
married and
we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The
Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for
$50,
and I get $43 back from Medicare.
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The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.
A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor...
"Shit" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the town hall. |
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A little old lady decides to join The Hell's Angels so one day she goes up and knocks on their clubhouse door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She boldly proclaims, "I want to join your club."
The guy is amused, and decides to humour her a bit, so he says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks "Do you have a motorcycle?" The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's parked over there," and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.
The biker asks, "Do you drink?" The little old lady replies, "Yep, like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."
The biker then asks, "Do you smoke?" The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is very impressed and asks, "You sound like one bad Mama. Tell me, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times and I kinda liked it." |
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THREE WOMEN , TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE
SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING
SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE
OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. I
HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM. A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE
RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE
FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP
IN MY HAND." THE OLDERWOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE
DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF
THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET
PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND
STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK
AT THAT... I'M GETTING A FAX!! |
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Radar speed check in California:
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, North of MCAS Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching near the crest of a hill.
The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and turned off.
Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.
Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander.
Back came a reply in true USMC style:
Thank you for the message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar was destroyed.
Thank you for your concerns.
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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came
upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over
the menu...
Tourist: $5.00
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why
such a price difference for the Politician?'
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of s**t, it takes all morning."
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Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you
speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went
back.
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of
golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any
help.
I re plied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked
away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard as
the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty
training
and I was on him constantly
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty
in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident,
and I don't have any clean clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse.
So, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
" S EE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An older couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing
for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow, but don't get any?
We had a female news anchor who,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and
didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last
night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard! |
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods .......
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
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On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
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On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
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On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
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On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion..)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
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On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
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On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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An oldie but a goodie!
Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted'.
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. ! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting
shit-faced from all of the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or ther mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just
suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
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Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,'Leave me alone, I'm married!'" |
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I have an announcement of some importance...
After scouring the world over, searching high and low..this girl has found her DOMINANT.
I am now the property of SIR EDWARD, ( aka: He who MUST be OBEYED, El Presidente & Great Benevolent Dictator, EP & GBD for short). H/he T/types I/in A/all C/caps and CAN
USE HIS KEYBOARD TO GREAT EFFECT BETTER THAN ANYONE!!
And my GREAT and ALL KNOWING MASTER has informed me, that since I have the largest penis in the world, I must forthwith become a lesbian.
So to all who decide that I need to be informed of the horrid nature of being WHO I AM, I cannot correspond with you. I am SOOO sorry, because it really makes me happy to get such bon mots as my previous journal entry in my mail! I have no idea what I will do with the large order of bright shiny boxes I just paid for.....
And for the record, once these fucktards have emailed me with their stupid pointless opinions, they block me from replying, because they are just soooo BRAVE like that...so it leaves me with little option but to reply here. Plus, think of it as a public service. Just kicking the rocks off the slime, so that their true natures shine forth.
Have a great day folks :).
I know my happily tattooed self will! |
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you are so ugly with those repulsive tattoos ,why have you destroyed your body ,do you have pyche problems. But you must admit in a few years time when you come out of your drug haze , what a disgrace you are and want to get them removed on welfare.Oh I'm sorry it was George Bush's fault wasn't it ,you piece of crap.
WTF?
This was the first thing I got in my email here today....
Taskmaster33...supposedly somewhere in Australia ...I think...honestly, I don't really care.....
Fucktards..
1: Like my tattoos, deal with it.
2: EVERYONE HAS ISSUES...I got mine, and you just showed me yours
3:Drugs? Tattooing equates drug use...Any fellow artists out there wanna back me up on this, or you wanna let Tiny Johnson here beat his gums?
4: NEVER will I have George Bush do a thing for me. He has already given my son a crippled arm and deafness in one ear...with love like that for his constituants...seems like I am better off working for a living, thanks all the same.
Learn to spell if you are going to send unsolicited emails. It makes you look even more retarded when you berate a total stranger with the spelling of a kindergartener...
FUCKTARDS...Where is the local bright shiny box dealership again? |
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My buddies, from earlier journal entries I have posted, emailed me a couple of days ago to congratulate me on my wisdom on taking their advice.
Just have to respond one more time. The Change in my profile here has NOTHING to do with you, your shallow opinions, your lack of respect ( don't you just love people who demand respect without extending any themselves?) . It does have to do with meeting the kind of person I truly hoped to meet on here. She is intelligent, motivated, and is the kind of person who can be the mentor I sought. Who can answer questions, explain things, teach me. She has her work cut out for her, but for the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful that something positive is about to happen for me. |
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How do you say Thank You....
When someone gives you a gift that touches your heart?
I have received many many gifts in my life. A mix of everything from the hand picked wild flower given by one of my children, I still have them pressed in various books, to a $3000.00 engagement ring...I really should not have returned it, but it had lost its meaning to me, therefore I had no desire to have it any longer.
This year I received a gift from the heart, a gift that meant things to me that even the giver may not have realized.
I have an incredibly talented artist for a friend, my best friend here in KC actually. One who has stood the test of time, loyalty, integrity, honesty. Someone I have great love and respect for.
She gave me a print of a sketch she did of me about this same time last year. It's matted and framed very nicely, she also gave me a sister piece of a nude she had just recently painted, one I had admired greatly. I love all her work actually. For many reasons.
For a true artist, art is not a job. Its a part of themselves. In giving me the prints, she gave me a glimpse into her soul. She opened a part of her heart with the gift. How much more rare and precious a gift than that?
And she gave me a visual memory of a night spent with good friends, during trying times, of laughter, of friendship, of camaraderie. How precious a gift is that? More valuable than all the gold in the world to me.
She gave me a glimpse of how well she understands me with this gift. She gave me a smile every time I look at it from here on out.
How do you say thank you for something that is priceless in its value to you?
I love you chicky chick! |
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Merry Christmas to one and all 
And.....
ONE MORE TIME....
NO ONLINE ANYTHING OTHER THAN TALKING.
NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN FRIENDS AND ADVICE ON THE LIFESTYLE.
NO CAM, NO CYBER.
Not that I think it will make a difference... |
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How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
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1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard
Kim.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd
time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." | |
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This one has been around a while...I still crack up when I read it....
As Beth told the story...
All methods have tricked me with their promises of
easy, painless removal - the Epilady, the standard
razor, the scissors, the Nair, the EpilStop, and now
. . The Wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night.
I came home from work, fixed dinner for my son and
we played for a while. I then had the thought that
would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple
hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine
cabinet. I set up my boy with a video and head to the
site of my demise, um, I mean bathroom. It was one of
those cold wax kits.
No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the clear
strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on
your leg (or wherever) and ignore the frantically
rising crescendo of string instruments in the
background.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be?
I mean, I'm not the girly-est of girls but I'm
mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out
how this works.
You'd think.
So I pull one of the thin strips out.
It's two strips facing each other, stuck together.
I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and
soften the wax (I'm guessing).
I go one better:
I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to ten
thousand degrees. Cold wax, my ass. (Oh, how that
phrase will come back to haunt me.)
I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin
around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best feeling
in the world, but it wasn't bad. I can do this! Hair
removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter of
all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!
With my next wax strip, I move north.
After checking on the boy and verifying that he was,
in fact, becoming one with Bear and learning all about
smells, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate
Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and
place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right
side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my
vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right
ass cheek. (Yeah, it was a long strip.)
I inhale deeply. I brace myself.
RRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind! Blind from the pain!
Vision returning. Oh crap. I've managed to pull off
half an inch of the strip. Another deep breath. And
RIIIP! Everything is swirly and tie-dyed?
Do I hear crashing drums? OK, coming back to normal
again. I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt
that caused me so much agony.
I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph
over body hair.
I hold the wax strip like an Olympic gold medallist.
But why is there no hair on it?
Why is the wax mostly gone?
Where could the wax go, if not on the strip?
Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched
on
the toilet.
I see hair - the hair that should be on the strip.
I touch.
I feel.
I am touching wax.
I look to the ceiling and silently shout "nooooooo!!"
And realize I have just begun living my own personal
version of "The Tar Baby."
I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive
part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and
matted hair, and make the next big mistake - up until
this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot on the
toilet. I know I need to move, to do something.
So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear
the slamming of the cell door.
Vagina? Sealed shut.
Ass? Sealed shut.
A little voice in my head says "I hope you don't
have to shit anytime soon. Your head just might pop
off."
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying desperately
to figure out what I should do next. Hot water!
Hot water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I
can stand and get in - the wax should melt and I can
gently wipe it away, right?
Wrong.
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter
than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize
surgical equipment.
And I sit.
Now the only thing worse than having your goodies
glued together is having them glued together and then
glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax.
So now I'm stuck to the tub.
I call my friend, Celia, because she once dropped
out of beauty school so surely she has some secret
knowledge or trick to get wax off skin. It's never
good to start a conversation with "So my ass and
vagina are stuck to the tub."
She doesn't have a trick.
She does her best to suppress laughter.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is on the
ass - "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks.
She isn't even trying to hide the giggles now.
I give her the run-down of the entire night.
She tells me to call the number on the side of the
box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax
actually
is. "You know that if we were working the help line
at XX Wax Co.and somebody called with their entire
crack sealed shut we'd just put them on hold then
record the conversation for everyone we know.
You're going to end up on a radio show or the internet
if you tell them the truth."
"While we go through various solutions, I have
resorted
to scraping the wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing
feels better to the girly goodies than covering them
in
wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and
THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off! In the middle of
the conversation (which has inexplicably turned to
other subjects!) I find the little, beautiful saving
grace that is the lotion provided with wax to remove
the excess. I rub some in and start screaming "It's
working! It's working!" I get hearty congratulations
from Celia and we hang up. I successfully remove all
the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the hair is
still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off.
Hell, I was numb by that point anyway.
And then I put the box of wax back in my medicine
cabinet.
Never know when a moustache might start to come in |
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For the first time in over three years, I see a reason to be hopeful. It's a scary thing....but I am heading forward in baby steps.... |
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I have come to a conclusion.....having to have a room mate should be catagorized as punishment...... |
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Taking a step back for a while. I am re-evaluating myself, doing some 'introspective research'. Trying to find my way in the muddied waters of my own mind.
Discovering ones own true nature is not an easy task...but well worth the effort I think. Noone knows me better than me. And when I am confused about who that truly is, its time to step away from things until that is figured out...
I will still be emailing and chatting with people who can help to understand things.
I have always felt there was so much more to this life than the kinky sex aspect of things. Don't get me wrong, I like kinky sex. Its icing on the cake of the lifestyle.
But, think about it, if you are eating cake, if all you are eating is the icing, the sugar begins to become too sweet, and most of the time all you have in the end is a horrible after-taste in your mouth and an upset stomach.
I want the WHOLE CAKE.. And until I know which end of the cake is the end I should be dining from, then I think I am better off just learning as much as I can. It would be unfair to anyone I would become involved with to not be "whole" beforehand |
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So...I have moved...again...
Might have to dye my hair blonde and learn to yodel this time....
Call me Heidi.....
I am living on a goat farm that belongs to a friend.
Yes, its a real goat farm,
complete with real goats in various stages of pregnancy..there will be kids soon...
Its very quiet here, and the stars look close enough to touch.
Various wildlife can be heard in the night, coyotes, owls.
A huge owl flew over the hood of my car last night as I was driving in.
I have a 140 mile commute daily...
Might have to take up bank robbing as a hobby to pay for fuel...sheesh....
But, there are no psychos here other than myself. So I am at peace. |
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Megan Meier thought she had made a new friend in cyberspace when a cute teenage boy named Josh contacted her on MySpace and began exchanging messages with her. Megan, a 13-year-old who suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, corresponded with Josh for more than a month before he abruptly ended their friendship, telling her he had heard she was cruel. The next day Megan committed suicide. Her family learned later that Josh never actually existed; he was created by members of a neighborhood family that included a former friend of Megan's. Now Megan's parents hope the people who made the fraudulent profile on the social networking Web site will be prosecuted, and they are seeking legal changes to safeguard children on the Internet. The girl's mother, Tina Meier, said she doesn't think anyone involved intended for her daughter to kill herself.
"But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old, with or without mental problems, it is absolutely vile," she told the Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis, which first reported on the case.
Tina Meier said law enforcement officials told her the case did not fit into any law. But sheriff's officials have not closed the case and pledged to consider new evidence if it emerges.
Megan Meier hanged herself in her bedroom on Oct. 16, 2006, and died the next day. She was described as a "bubbly, goofy" girl who loved spending time with her friends, watching movies and fishing with her dad.
Megan had been on medication, but had been upbeat before her death, her mother said, after striking up a relationship on MySpace with Josh Evans about six weeks before her death.
Josh told her he was born in Florida and had recently moved to the nearby community of O'Fallon. He said he was homeschooled, and didn't yet have a phone number in the area to give her.
Megan's parents said she received a message from him on Oct. 15 of last year, essentially saying he didn't want to be her friend anymore, that he had heard she wasn't nice to her friends.
The next day, as Megan's mother headed out the door to take another daughter to the orthodontist, she knew Megan was upset about Internet messages. She asked Megan to log off. Users on MySpace must be at least 14, though Megan was not when she opened her account. A MySpace spokeswoman did not return calls seeking comment.
Someone using Josh's account was sending cruel messages. Then, Megan called her mother, saying electronic bulletins were being posted about her, saying things like, "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat."
Megan's mother, who monitored her daughter's online communications, returned home and said she was shocked at the vulgar language her own daughter was sending. She told her daughter how upset she was about it.
Megan ran upstairs, and her father, Ron, tried to tell her everything would be fine. About 20 minutes later, she was found in her bedroom. She died the next day.
Her father said he found a message the next day from Josh, which he said law enforcement authorities have not been able to retrieve. It told the girl she was a bad person and the world would be better without her, he has said.
Another parent, who learned of the MySpace account from her own daughter who had access to the Josh profile, told Megan's parents about the hoax in a counselor's office about six weeks after Megan died. That's when they learned Josh was imaginary, they said.
The woman who created the fake profile has not been charged with a crime. She allegedly told the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department she created Josh's profile because she wanted to gain Megan's confidence to know what Megan was saying about her own child online.
The mother from down the street told police that she, her daughter and another person all typed and monitored the communication between the fictitious boy and Megan.
A person who answered the door at the family's house told an Associated Press reporter on Friday afternoon that they had been advised not to comment.
Megan's parents had been storing a foosball table for the family that created the MySpace character. Six weeks after Megan's death, they learned the other family had created the profile and responded by destroying the foosball table, dumping it on the neighbors' driveway and encouraging them to move away.
Megan's parents are now separated and plan to divorce.
Aldermen in Dardenne Prairie, a community of about 7,000 residents about 35 miles from St. Louis, have proposed a new ordinance related to child endangerment and Internet harassment. It could come before city leaders on Wednesday.
"Is this enough?" Mayor Pam Fogarty said Friday. "No, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it's something, and you have to start somewhere."
This is what I am talking about. Words CAN and DO kill.
I get a large volume of what I can only call hate mail. It's not anything I personally can't handle. A coward who hides behind the safety of a keyboard and spews hate at me is nothing more than a way to amuse myself.
But then there is the anonymity.
How do these stupid people know who I am REALLY? How do they know that I am not some deeply disturbed person, whom their words can hurt, even kill?
Not everyone on the planet has been toughened by life the way I have. Words are lethal weapons.
James 3:5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! |
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Ok, I have had time to think about it, have had time to drink some coffee, get the gears turning.
And all this 'excitement' has brought several questions to my mind.
First question...
Whatever happened to common courtsey?
Do people in real life, run up to strangers
and proceed to berate them publically for what they see as 'shortcomings'? Whatever happened to living and letting live? How is it that my choices, such as the way I have chosen to write my profile have any effect on anyone else? Is it that difficult to push the mouse button and move on to the next profile?
Personally, I prefer a filled out profile, it lets me see into the mind of the writer a bit, and make a decision on whether or not there is a mental connection. Beautiful people are everywhere, intelligence and common sense are not.
And OMG, how I love people who hide behind a keyboard, and send their negativity out to the whole world. I honestly wonder why I have never ONCE in my life been publically approached by someone who is overwhelmed with the need to tell me how horrible my tattoos are, how terrible my opinions are, how WRONG I am to hold the personal views I have.
The world is in a sad enough state, there is so much hatred and greed that you can almost feel it when you walk outside, clinging to you like a wet blanket, And I try to not propogate it, but I am not going to sit idly by and allow myself to be treated like a doormat by every coward who hides behind a keyboard and decides to 'tell me what they think'.
Opinions are within us all, and at least I was raised with enough grace and tact to keep mine to myself until asked for it.
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Ok, it's a game now! Whatever, works for me.
And just for the record, I went and checked my settings, lo and behold, I do have friends only checked! I am open to meeting intelligent people I can learn from in all area's of life.
Yet more stunning brilliance from my pals asdfasdfasdf....again theirs will be in quotations. Myself I am not gonna bother replying. I think its on a teeshirt "You can't have a battle of the wits with an unarmed person"
"and thank you for proving my thoughts on your attitude filled response instead of thinking of the meaning of my words.
you have proven again what an ass I knew you would be.
you sure are a classy lady.
only need a couple of more tattoos to make the package complete.
you wonder why you don't have anyone and are just settling for friends only. LOL you must be the only one who doesn't understand that.
have a nice day and don't forget to put this in your journal too.
you remember the one nobody reads.
Kiss Kiss Hug Hug
PS you are making even more of a fool of yourself by doing just what I said you would do with your response. "
(And the second part...one email was not enough....)
"OUCH the pain
and such big words too.
have a good evening precious "
They broke out the big guns on this one and made fun of my tattoos! Thats it, I am gonna go call my mommy!
Oh, but I do need to let you know why I don't have anyone.
I really do not want anyone. I have friends, I have family, and when someone who is suited to me comes along, I will have them too.
I am certainly not willing to settle for just anyone.
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I must have hit a nerve with "asdfasdfasdf"
(who has such an original screenname, I am sure he/she was rushing to make his/her phony profile to send me this....)
No use wasting an email, I am just gonna reply here.
The portions in quotation marks are his/hers copied and pasted from an email sent to me...makes it my property then doesn't it?
My reply is in boldface, fitting wouldn't you agree?
"Hi,
you have the longest profile on this entire site and it is obvious that you are here mainly to listen to yourself talk. which is your right to do so don't get me wrong. To each his/her own and I certainly respect your right to babble and to rant and rave and tell everyone what you don't like.
The problem I do have is that you say you are not looking and you are here just for friends so it would be nice of your profile reflected your true wishes and if you are only here for friends then why do you check every possible category under "actively seeking" that does nothing but waste people's time checking out a profile of someone who takes about 6 billion words to say they are not looking and they are not interested and don't want and don't like etc. etc. etc.
Why not just check "friends only" since that is really all you are looking for. It would certainly be the considerate thing to do.
I certainly could be wrong but I have a feeling that you will not take my words the way they were meant and will not care about being considerate of others and will instead come back with a defensive repulsive attitude.
Have a pleasant day chating with friends and writing in yoru personal journal."
Because OH GREAT BENEVOLENT DICTATORess.... ( Not to be confused with El Presidente and Great Benevolent Dicatator, ( EP & GBD for short)) HE is the GREATEST!!!
I CAN!
Simple as that. Its my profile, I can do anything I want to with it within the rules of this community. I live in the USA, I work for a living, and I can think for myself.
You seem to have missed the word "MAINLY" to stay in touch with people in the community here where I live. And I do that.
But I am also open to meeting, and perhaps more, with other people whom I can learn and grow from. I think I can tell from the nature and tone of the email you sent that you have nothing to teach me, there is nothing I wish to know of you. You are rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, and tasteless.
You know what? I am all the same things, but the difference being? I am unashamed of being who I am, and I feel no need to strike out in negativity to anyone to make myself feel better. I do however believe in "quid pro quo".... that means....'All things equal'.... in other words, You get back what you give out. Did I spell that out clearly enough for you?
It's MY SUBMISSION. To give to whom I wish. And I am being honest with anyone who might wish to know me in advance. I am not selling a "pig in a poke" so to speak. I am even brave enough to put several photos on my profile, all less than a year old too. Like I have said before, I love to get emails from smug yet strangely shy idiots who think they owe it to the whole world to share it with a total stranger who has NEVER APROACHED YOU!
Now that the niceitys are all said and done 
Oh Damn wait I almost forgot, I apologize for forgetting to speak in third person and refer to Y/you as S/sir or Ma'am.....
God is there any REAL people who want to write me,,,,this is rather tedious lately...
I won't be driven from here by anyone other than the rightful owners of this site. |
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Ok...so I have been 'perving the profiles'...I need to move to Europe....particularly Italy...Mama Mia! |
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How I view Submission seems to be vastly different from a number others.
For me the very crux of submission is based on trust. How much do I trust this person, do I trust them enough to let them tie me to a cross and beat me?
If it progress' past that, do I trust this person enough to give over my control, to allow someone else to think for me, make choices for me?
For me this Lifestyle is so much more than just 'skin deep'. It is something that actually lives and breathes in my soul, its a part of who I am, of where my paths in life have led me. Its at the very core of my being, a part of my spirit as well as my mind, body and heart.
I have explored both elements, both as submissive, and as Dominant. I find that both have their joys, both give me pleasure.
But I confess that my Dominant side is still very much new to me. It frightens me at times actually. It's still very alien to me, but it is an adventure, its personal growth.
And just as a Dominant who has spent time as a submissive learns to better understand those who are in his charge, I think my exploration of my Dominant side will make me a better submissive, should I ever find one I can give over my trust to and have faith in.
It has opened my eyes to how very 'giving' a Dominant is. I have felt the particular joy of giving someone something they crave and desire with all of their being. To give someone that release, and give them that peace of mind is a very kind and considerate thing.
I sometimes long to meet the one whom I can give over my all to. My all is a well rounded, albeit some what eccentric person, of above average intelligence. At my core I am a very servile being. I enjoy putting effort forth, to strive for personal perfection. I like someone who appreciates that, and does not treat it lightly, or take it for granted. And pleasing someone, knowing that something I did or said made their day a bit better, gave them a smile, gives me deep personal satisfaction.
And when I give over my control to them, when I have the trust that is required, they will have someone who knows how to serve, how to strive and grow, and who truly wants to do so. To give happiness and pride and pleasure to someone else. To give them my all.
To date, sadly, I have found noone who wants to fill that role.
They want a kinky sex toy to play with and throw away.
Sorry, not interested.
There has to be respect for me, I will never again be a doormat for anyone. I am open to the sexual side of the L/S but only with one I wish to serve. And then it will be as he wishes it to be.
Somedays its very very frustrating here.
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Tiddly Fark, smerneous gloff, chupa chupa dodiddly....
Yes, you can write just about anything here and it will be about as important as filling out your blog.
Should have saved my time filling out the profile and spent it elsewhere CAUSE NOONE EVER READS THIS STUFF ANY FREAKIN WAY!!!
Tantrum is over, you will now be returned to your regularly scheduled CM experience...Have a good day |
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I have numerous photos on my profile, all recent, all very clear. If you want to correspond with me, please attach one, I like to see who I am 'talking' to. |
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Winter.....blahhhhh......
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Lol, I have a feeling that I am not meant to serve. I have finally developed an interest that is more than passing in a dominant...my sad misfortune that he is on the other side of the world...I think he should open a school.... |
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Instant Messenger conversations...
Web Cams...I am such a child and so easily entertained....
I love chatting..I am very verbose, somewhat quick witted, and love intellectual discourse.
But finding that kind of conversation of late has been a lot like my search for an intelligent, understanding, patient Dominant.....a lot like hunting Unicorns
I love it when I am asked to tell someone about myself, and then when I tell them the things any normal person would want to know, day to day things, I am stopped and asked what it is I am 'looking for'...
Let's see....
I am looking for a pair of earrings that I lost somewhere along the way....
I am looking for money, I am always looking for money. I find a lot in seat cushions when I am detailing cars at work, to date I have found roughly $30 in change..its my retirement plan....
I am looking for the perfect pair of heels to go with my blue dress....to date those have not shown themselves....but I know they are out there, I hear them breathing....
Its simple...I am looking for friends...nothing more, nothing less.
If the friendship progresses to something more, groovy baby, if it doesn't, I still have a friend, which is always a good thing.
Webcams.....
Nothing gives me more joy than to know that you guys all have a penis....really....and to those of you who feel the need to show me yours....well golly-gee, color me IMPRESSED! I am relieved to know that you have the mighty staff of power firmly in hand.....that thing might get out of control and shoot out some kind of earth ending ray-beam.....
If you want to show me something...show me a smile, and a modicum of respect..... |
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SORRY Folks, but the chat applet on this site screws with my computer terribly, so I will decline chat invites. |
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The following is an email I received in my mail on another site...this is PRECISELY what I am talking about with people and their bullsh**.....I had never sent him ANYTHING this was his first correspondance with me. I dare say after the reply I sent, I won't be hearing anything back, it was less than tactful and very much to the point.....
> ---------------------------------------------------
> Sender: bangagong2007
> To: wildnwanton
> Date: Oct 11, 2007 12:11 am PST
>
> What a damned shame that such an attractive woman "like yourself" would ruin her body with disgusting tatoos and body art!! What are they going to look like when you are "80" and your skin drooping and wrinkled?
>
> I personally could not and would not even consider bedding down with such a mutant! To me you are sickening!...."YUK"!!!
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Rainy monday....I like rainy days...but in light of the rain pouring, think I will leave for work early today. The traffic sucks bad enough on a clear day. |
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Ok, apparently I have got to set some standards here.
If you live a 100+ miles away, and have no plans on relocating, pass me by.
If you are younger than 30, not interested, period.
If you don't like tattooed women, fine, leave me alone.
If you have a negative opinion on anything about me, and you are not a personal aquaintance of mine, keep it to yourself unless you would like my unedited reply.
Seriously...I am a very accepting person. There are a number of things I don't find appealing personally, and I do not apply them to my day to day life.....BUT I feel no need nor desire to contact a total stranger and tell them how offensive I find it. Do your own thing and allow me the courtesy to do likewise without hearing from some a**wipe with a chip on their shoulder who feels the NEED to let me know how offended they are about things that in no way affect them or their lives.
It's a simple matter, if you don't like my profile, TURN THE PAGE....
This is a PUBLIC SITE on the INTERNET....I have as much right to do what I do here as the next person. And I respect everyone else here's right to do likewise.
The icing on the cake? Normally after I receive my daily dose of what I can only term as hate mail from some low iq'ed Neanderthal, they usually block me from replying.
I sincerely wonder if everyone here is subject to the same abundance of ill-mannered jackasses with opinions. |
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Summer is drawing to a close.
I am very outdoors oriented, love being outside and feeling the sun beating down on me, so this weather puts me in a somber state of mind.
I think I perhaps have found a pet. Time will tell.
However the Dom I have sought for so very long now, is still not showing Himself.
Surely it cannot be that hard to find a Dominant who is intelligent, quick-witted, able to laugh with me, who understands before there can be submission, there has to be respect and trust. |
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Work, work, work...seems that is the crux of my life at the time.
It still amazes me how many people refuse to read one word of your profile before mailing you. Bizzare really. Let me just pop off some ridiculous bullshit in an email to a total stranger and see if they buy it.....what an approach.
Ahh the internet...anonymous, therefore fraught with mannerless idiots.
I dunno, I suppose there are some who don't mind being approached like a $2.00 hooker...I just don't happen to be one.
But on the other side of that coin, I have also been approached by some very wonderful people as well. You know who you are ;o). |
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Ok, just curious here, I am quite honestly wondering....
How many people ever walk up to a total stranger on the street, without saying "hello, my name is" or anything even remotely civil...and then proceed to start either telling them erotic stories, or just asking very personal questions about their sexuality?
The Internet, while providing anonymity, still has a living breathing person on the other side. And while some might not mind a basic lack of manners, I will not respond to anyone who treats me with discourtesy.
I find that anyone so ill-mannered repulsive, they have no respect, for me or themselves.
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I have just started a new job, so to all I have been emailing with, please don't think I have forgotten you or that I am ignoring you, I am just getting settled into a new routine and I am short of free time to be online. I will respond when I have the time to do so. |
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I FINALLY have a new job!
The pay is crap....but......
IT is NOT in food service, I will be working outside, and I will have the most killer tan by the end of summer :D
Today is a VERY good day :D |
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Surprise Doms....
As a true fan of the mind fuck in its many forms, one of the most pleasurable things to find are those who surprise me.
I start out thinking they are merely 'vanilla' or swingers, and then the facade slips away, and I find out they are dominants...sensual dominants, but notheless, dominants.
I like surprises.... |
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This summer has been fantastic!
Went horseback riding the last couple of days.
Seems that this summer has been about remembering old pastimes and recapturing things I once enjoyed, rather than embracing the new. |
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Is there anything as wonderful as summer?
Went for a motorcycle ride with a friend last night. We started in the city and rode until the road came to an end at a small state lake in Louisburg, Kansas.
After we got out of Missouri, the helmets went straight into the saddle bags. And PLEASE, all you good samaritans out there who feel the need to mail me with the dire consequences of not wearing a helmet, don't. I have been riding since I was 16, I know EXACTLY what can happen. But I also know I am going to die exactly when its appointed to me to do so, not before, not after, and thankfully, there are still a few states in the union where 'big brother' does not impede on my right as an adult with a functioning brain to choose.
But anywho, normally I wear my hair either tied in a bandana, or in a braid. Yesterday the hair tie I was using broke. So for the first time since I was probably 18-20, I rode with the wind in my hair. The very sensation of it brought back a million old memories, things I haven't though about since I was a twenty something.
I can remember the first time I ever rode. The guy I was riding with had probably been riding since his legs got long enough to hit a shifter. His name was "Bird". He was massive, with a long braid down his back, long beard, the quintessential biker.
I was scared shitless both of him, and what I felt was a large lack adequate protection in the event of a wreck. I was stiff as a board, my body didn't move with the bike. After about 2 miles he pulled over to the side of the road and told me to relax, explained to me how I needed to feel the bikes movement and move with it. He was very patient with a 'newbie', and I decided to just relax and have fun with it. By the end of the day, I was sunburnt, windburnt, my hair was a witches dream, and I was solidly hooked.
Roadtripping for the weekend, See you guys Sunday! |
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Happy soon-to-be Fourth of July Folks! 
Life is moving at an incredibly slow pace for me. Last night I had my first encounter with a sub with a foot fetish. Thankfully my feet are not ticklish or it would have driven me insane. He was incredibly sweet, a very good boy actually.
Still looking for a new job and doing odd jobs in the meanwhile, housekeeping, ink-slinging, baby-sitting, whatever pays cash and keeps the hounds from the door....
I just can't take the thoughts of going back to Waffle Hell. Its bad enough to have to work for a pittance, and be treated rudely by customers coming in the place, I will just be damned if I have to work for an ungrateful boss. I busted my ass each and every night I worked, worked as the only server many nights, tolerated shit from my co-workers without giving them a real hard punch in the mouth, put up with crap from customers, and in the over two years I worked there I was absent less than a week. I never stole from him, never lied to him, never gave him any reason to worry. When I was working, the lines were stocked, store cleaned, equipment broken down and cleaned, and all the day shift had to do was come in and go to work.
And when I had an abcessed tooth and needed time off to deal with getting the infection cleared and the tooth pulled, he is going to get in MY face? When I had co-workers who would simply no-call no-show on a WEEKLY basis? He has the audacity to tell me I am off the schedule until I "get my problems dealt with"? When he knows DAMN good and WELL I cannot afford to deal with it without the cash to pay for it? Because there is no insurance plan with the Waffle, other than pray like hell you have a PHENOMANAL tip night....Yeah that happens a lot...in over two years of working there I had one phenomanal night. I had a customer who had just had a phenomanal night at the boats.....
No, I will muck barn stalls first I think. Or move back home with Mother. That is sarcasm, I love my mom to pieces and can't think of anyone I have more respect for, but theres not a chance I can ever live with her again and maintain the thread of sanity I have remaining.
So I suppose that this will be my final Waffle rant. I am a patient person, and I can tolerate a good bit of bullshit without snapping, but I have my limits. My bullshit tolerance level has been breeched and once that happens, there is nothing on the planet that can change my mind about the course of action I have decided to take. I am making just as much money doing my odd jobs, and I don't have to put up with anyone's crap but my own. And that alone is worth the 'sacrafice'. I actually get to sleep in a bed at night instead of cleaning up after a crowd of crawling drunk yuppies who act as if my sole purpose in life is to wait on them.
I suppose I should be grateful though, because it was putting up with these people that brought out my dominant side more than anything. I used to daydream about chaining them to a St. Andrew's cross and taking a riding crop to them.... |
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First time Journaling here in a long time.... Perhaps I should start doing that more often...
Not much new and exciting in my life of late. Still exploring the Domme side of life, the side of myself that I have recently discovered, one I had really never given a lot of thought to until recently.
I have always realized that there was that part of me, the part of me that enjoys having control, and I have always had a slightly sadistic streak.
I am happy to report, I do believe that streak is growing. Actually not growing, but refining. I am learing many things, actually, and thanks to all who have helped me as I am growing. The walk is much easier when you are guided by those who have already walked ahead....
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A rather tame weekend for this one. Nothing much new or exciting, no wild excursions. Had drinks with a friend on Friday, meditation, computer play, and an early bedtime saturday, sunday more mundane things, laundry, coffee with some gal pals. All fun but extremely tame for me. Not what I am generally up to on the weekend.....
Egads! I sound like I am ready for retirement....
Working on plans to rectify that this coming weekend.....hehehe |
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I really wonder about people sometimes. I understand that this site and others are geared so that like-minded people can connect, but seriously, whatever happened to courtsey? Does anyone actually think that by virtue of sending me mail saying I am a Dom/Domme, or I am a sub/slut/slave that makes it so and I am going to automatically take the word of a total stranger and hop in my car and rush right on over to meet you? I should just take your word for it, and believe you, sight unseen?
Just so you know, if you are going to approach me, I will expect to exchange an undetermined number of emails first, then I am going to expect a meeting in a very public venue, and I will have with me my ID and I expect the same from you. I am not about to become another statistic you read about in the papers.
And if the take my word for it approach works for anyone in reality....I am a 24 year old multimillionaire, Angelina Jolie look-alike.....Please will you be my "ONLINE Dominant"....
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It has been a long time since I have posted anything here, life has done some more of its rapid fire changing.....
I have been exploring my domme side. And thoroughly enjoying it. I still have my same mentor and the only Male on the planet I feel even once iota of submissiveness for, thank you Sir, for all the patience you have shown me, and for being my rock and advisor. My world would be bleak without you I fear.
I have also played with a Domme of late and have found while its simply amazing, I do not feel the same reaction when playing with her, that i do when i am playing with my male Dom. Interesting to me, and it will require more thought on my part to understand my reactions.
I am still very much enamoured of breath play. God i love it too much sometimes i think....
Still waiting to have a Domme step up to the plate and mentor me, I have many males subs approaching me these days, and while there are a lot of things I am comfortable exploring with them, there are many more I am not comfortable with, would love to have a long time Domme take me under her wing to be my teacher and mentor. |
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A long time since I blogged, a lazy time for me, I have been filling my time with work and taking a step back from everything else, just debating what I really want out of life. I have recently entered into a polyamory lifestyle, with a couple of really fantastic people who understand me and can accept my flighty ways. So far so good. I am a hard person to understand, and they seem to understand me better than any other people in the world so far.
My next step is to figure out a careear path. I am not making enough money in my current position, so I need to either step up and break over into a managment position there or find something that pays better. Sadly for so many of us in Food Service, far too many people think that tipping is a city in China. For those who either tip poorly or don't tip at all, I send a little prayer out that they have to at some point try to make a living at $2.13 an hour plus tips...... |
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You know, it has occurred to me before and keeps coming back to me reinforced that I have switch tendancies. Or do I? I don't know. This is where inexperience is a definate hinderance in my growth.
There is a certain 'element' of men that I naturally dominate, that I will boss around without even giving it a thought. And there are certain men, that although I don't want to boss them, I also have no desire to be submissive to them, and will balk at the slightest thing they request of me.
But then there are those rare men, men who just fill me with such a desire to give them my all, to do anything they ask of me, to be however they wish me to be. I have not had one of those in my life is so very long. And I miss it. Maybe I just need to quit thinking about things so much and have some more coffee.... |
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It's been a very long week. And I am mildly irritated by things beyond my control. And I am feeling completely lazy today. Really happy that I don't have to go to work :-D
Do tell me, what does one say to a co-worker who is 11 years my junior and absolutely not my type, but begging for a date? Should I tell him certainly, as long as you let me bring my handcuffs and single tail? Or just keep listening to his whining? Because you can bank on the fact that I won't date him, work and play have to be kept separate, even if he was my type. |
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"Shes a very kinky girl, the kind you don't take home to mother..." God I think Rick James must have known me, or whoever wrote that song. Its stuck in my head and its making me crazier than I already am.
Going to go be a waffle slinger tonight, flirt my way into some good tips and then Friday night I am gonna go out and dance till I am wringing wet with sweat! Look out vanilla bars, here I come. Going out to vanilla bars are a real adventure for me, because I refuse to become vanilla to fit in. The men love me, and some of the women do to, and then there are those lovely vanilla ladies sitting in the corner assuming that I am some kind of slut because of the way I dress. Those are the ones I really like to fuck with lol. One of these days I am gonna wind up dead in an alley.... |
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What a lovely weekend I have had!
Its so good to be back in KC. I really like it here much more than I liked Lawrence. KC has a lot to offer in the way of entertainment, and the people here are much less....hmmmm.... threatened by my appearance? (For lack of a better term).
I talked to my son yesterday, they are going to be able to repair the damage to his arm (He was wounded in an ambush in Iraq),
I am back working in the restaurant that I transferred out of, and the customers are all tickled pink that I am back ( and thats a real ego boost for me, its nice that my hard work is appreciated, hehehe).
All in all, I feel like things are finally starting to look up. |
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Man, we live in a weird world. People are so fake, they do and say what their televisions tell them too, they base everything on what some other entity tells them, base their opinions of others by judging their worth on empty shit, appearance, amount of money someone possesses...you know, the way I see it, I am going out of the world the same way I entered, with nothing more than my heart and soul, ( and if I am really blessed, naked and screaming). Material shit is so temporary. The nicest car will eventually rust, the finest house will eventually fall down, the only thing we can do is leave here with what is in our heart and soul. |
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Think maybe I may be a switch, cause there are some people in the world I would love to beat. WHAT PART OF DOES NOT LIKE HUMILIATION OF ANY KIND IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND?
I am not SLUT, WH*** OR ANY OTHER DEROGATORY THING TO ANYONE WHO IS NOT MY MASTER. WHEN I FIND HIM, HE AND HE ALONE WILL HAVE THE RIGHT TO REFER TO ME AS SUCH.
I am going to start responding to those who refer to me as that by calling them pencil dick.... |
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"lovely pics,,
too bad the tattoes make you look like a whore"
I love it when assh****talk crap and then block your replies. So here goes, provided you can read
Classy Master
I am a tattooist, dipshit, so if you think my ink makes me look like a whore, I invite you to browse and perv on someone elses profile. At least I have the balls to put a photo on my profile, and I did not take a cowards tactic and block you from emailing my profile as you did to me. If you are "MAN" enough to cast dispersion on me and judge me only on my appearance only, seems to me as a "DOMINANT" You should be able to take the reprisal of an email. And oh yeah, thanks for the picture, that just turned me into a steaming puddle, ready to rip off my clothes and scream take me I am yours. People like this are what is turning me against this lifestyle in general!
And Learn to spell! Tattoes? Is that some kind of antifungal for feet? T-A-T-T-O-O-S, its called spell-check, look into it! |
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Another day has come and gone, and the Master/Dom I seek is nowhere to be found. I think maybe I seek something that is not possible. Either everyone I have interest in is far far away, or they are merely looking for a sexual relationship. Don't get me wrong, I am far from being a prude, and I am extremely liberal minded and open, comfortable with my sensuality. But I want something more than to be the 'third', something more than to be a pleasure slave. I want the Dom that can give me the guidence I need, the one I can trust to lead me to a higher place. I have recently found I am very curious about many things, fire-play being at the top of the list. I have also developed a curiosity about daddy Doms.
So many questions, so many things I wish to learn, crave to experience and no one to do it with. I am ready to just give up and become vanilla again. Too many game players and bullshi**ers in the world, and my patience is lacking. |
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SOOOOO another day, returning to work at Waffle Hell on Monday, oh God, I really think I would rather be a drive by victim rather than ENDURE the whims of the general public...the rudeness, the unspeakable superiority of those who cannot even be honest with themselves and order 40 bucks worth of greasy, deep fried food and a diet soda.....only those whom have been a waitress can truly appreciate just how miserable it is. I had the patience for it years ago, and when my attitude and life were unscarred and unjaded, now, its like punishment, but it is what I know and the easiest and quickest way to be gainfully employeed. Damn it where is my karma coming from? |
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Is there any pain as real and lasting as the pain of a broken heart? Is there any reason to seek anything, or is it better to just allow life to carry you along on the ebb and flow? I am feeling lost and helpless right now, and making any rational sense out of anything is an unobtainbable goal for me at the time. My life is such a dark thing these days and things that once seemed to ease the hurt, are no longer of help to me, and I am lost and alone once more. Really wonder if there is a need to continue, or if I should just throw in the towel..... |
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Life is full of twists and turns. I seem to be heading in new directions directions daily and I am drifting with no real purpose in my life. I have never lived like this before and I am not sure I like it. |
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Tonight I am going to go out and let my hair down, hopefully I will not be swamped by work and will be able to get out of the house and go play for a while, I really need a break,
And God willing I will have tattooing to do today, that always puts me in a better frame of mind. |
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The longer I am alive, the more I appreciate my dogs. Not harping really, just in a contemplative sort of mood.
My two girls ( Xena and Karma) are probably my best friends. Never hear a complaint from them, never expect more than attention, love and nourishment, and love me no matter what. Wonder why people cannot be more accepting like that.... |
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 Today my most trusted friend lied to me, over something stupid, and for no apparent reason. My heart is breaking. Loyality and respect and honor and integrity are more important to me than all the gold on earth. I am devastated and my heart is breaking. |
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Well, I am moved into yet another home, with a girlfriend who is willing to tolerate me and my nocturnal habits and my wayward ramblings. June will see me in Idaho, starting over, yet one more time. The past 14 months have been the most surrealistic, confusing, enlightening, rollercoaster ride thru heaven and hell I have ever experienced. Some days I have been the windshield and some days I have been the bug.
But I have made some really dear friends, found out so much I never knew, ( or at least never admitted to knowing). I have grown as a person, lost a lot of negative baggage, learned to laugh again, learned to cry again, and learned to be grateful for the little things, for the beauty of a sunset, the laughter of a child, the smell of coffee in the morning.
I have learned to accept myself just as I am, and to be true to the person I am inside, to quit trying to fit the mold society casts for us and just be who I am with no regrets and no apologies.
And for the first time in many years I wake up looking forward to what the day will bring, sometimes it is good, other times are not so good, but I am growing stronger with each passing day, and more able to handle the bad days than I was before.
Spring is coming, I can feel it. Spring is probably my favorite season, I go a little crazy in the spring.....can't wait to see what this spring will bring. |
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Finally!  I have just finished the longest two week notice I have ever worked. It has taken me 6 weeks to quit this last job, I kept getting asked to stay, until this could happen or that could be done. I am WAY too nice sometimes, and I really do need to learn how to say no sometimes.... |
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Trust. Its such a huge thing with me. It involves so much more than just taking someone at their word. It involves a real and abiding belief that another person has the amount of respect for me and integrity within themselves to actually give a tinkers damn that if they lie to me, or play me false, it will leave a scar that is far more damaging to me than any implement of pain could ever cause. Perhaps I am goods damaged beyond repair.... |
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Ho Hum, another day, another day .....life is trudging along, I spend two thirds of my time bored out of my mind, leaving me with far too much time to stress over things I truly don't have any control over, but since I am bored my mind seizes on them and then the little hampster turning the gears in my head goes into overdrive. I have come to the conclusion that I must be nuts..... |
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Just spent the night tattooing, large and unusual tribal piece, it was a 'tramp stamp' on this guy who's wife I tattooed before. God I so love the craft, love the art. I really miss being in a shop, but I suppose I am still paying my dues. If its meant to happen for me it will. |
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Well, its my birthday, another year has come and gone, and I can say in all honesty, this has probably been one of the strangest years I have lived through...(emphasis on the word LIVE). I have done more, seen more, learned more and grown more in this past year than I have since I was a child. I have discovered more about myself than I could have ever imagined, why I am who I am and why I do and want the things I do. Its been a long strange trip, but the journey has been fun, and I look forward to the next year.
No word from the shop yet, perhaps I am not what they seek, ces't la vive. |
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I HAVE AN INTERVIEW!!!!! If I can get a seat in a shop I will probably be one of the happiest ppl ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!! Life is starting to have forward movement again and I am probably in the best mood I have been in for months :D:D:D:D |
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Another boring night in Waffle Hell. But I have began conversing with someone who VERY much interests me. My fingers are crossed and my hopes are high that perhaps I have found the Dominant that I can give my trust to and allow myself to grow through.....Time will tell, but for the first time in quite a while, I find myself hopeful that things are going to FINALLY happen in my life that will have a positive result. |
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Went on a trip to do some tattooing...rode in the backseat of a lovely but cramped SUV for over 400 miles, made $40.00... sometimes vanilla ppl suck..... |
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I just learned someting new about myself the other day...I enjoy something very much that I once was very afraid of.
I am so wanting to experience so many things, but hesitant at the same time. I am so afraid of giving over my control. I have never really given the full measure of my control over to anyone, and I am beginning to wonder if I ever will. Trust is is so very difficult for me at this place in my life. |
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Life is strange, my business is not to be, so I am once again floating, trying to find something, not quite sure what it is that I seek, but feeling it in my soul, whispering, dancing just out of reach.
Heading to Idaho in the Spring, with plans for a very extended stay, perhaps a permanent move. It still remains to be seen, I seem to be having a season of discontent.... |
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 I will have my home computer back on the 14th!!! I am thrilled and things are progressing with my business, perhaps not as quickly as I would like but still it is forward movement. I have met a Dominant I am interested in, and perhaps he is interested in me, time will tell. I am just not certain he is the ONE I seek. I have a feeling that I will know immediately when I meet the One that I will be overwhelmed in His presence,speechless,breathless...That I will know without a doubt that this is the Master I can trust and serve without hesitation or fear, that HE will know me as well. Hmmm perhaps I should quit living in such a fairy tale reality and get real lol. |
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I am currently unable to be online. So if I have not replied to you it doesn't mean I am not interested in you please give me a week or two to get my 'collective' shit together. |
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FINALLY! It looks like I am going to at LAST be able to get started opening my business! Thank God, I was really beocming despondant.
And for those who have sent me snippy emails...
Ok I am not online 24/7, I have been virtually homeless for the last two weeks waiting for the previous tenants of my building to vacate. Therefore I will NOT BE ABLE to respond IMMEDIATELY to every email I get. And As my profile says that I am not into verbal humiliation PERIOD, if you are one of the ones who sent me a smart a**ED email, heres a thought, hold your breath till I reply, ok?
Still looking for that Dom, I know he is out there, I can feel him, sense him, just cannot see him yet. |
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Really.....I am still wondering if this will ever amount to anything more than a colossal waste of my time, which is in precious limited quantity. I chat, and I read the forums, but I get stood up on a pretty regular basis....beginning to think that I just have an invisible magnet on me that says " Dingy Broad who believes anything" or something to that effect....*sigh* |
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Ok, you know, its days like this that make me want to leave this lifestyle and find a vanilla playmate....
WHY oh why is it so hard to find someone real? I am not looking for someone to cyber with, have phone sex with, or roflmao, be dominated online by....sweet lord, sub and idiot do not equate the same thing. How is anyone going to be able to be dominant to me when all I have to do is turn off the computer and the phone?
Teaching me online, yes, many wonderful teachers I have found here. Endless fountains of knowledge, and I am so very grateful for each and every one, and all the patience and courtsey they have shown me. But good grief! I mean enough already. If you are not for real, if you are wanting to be my dom on the computer....sorry I am just not interested. Nothing personal, but I am looking for someone who is willing to actually meet me, not just talk about it.  |
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| Age: 28 |
| Sugarland,
Texas |
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