I am a guy with a very dominant personality that is also attracted to strong confident women. I am looking for a long term relationship and I cannot imagine such a relationship not having a strong D/s aspect to it, but the actual foundation should ideally be based on mutual attraction, that spark, that magic that happens between two people when they discover their soul-mate; and I can see how that attraction manifests as going in quite a few directions.
My past D/s relationships have always started with me as the submissive, but my strong personality always seems to rise and I find myself switching to some degree in a number of cases, though not all. I don’t mind this; I am not a fan of labels and those who live by them anyway. There are times and circumstances where my natural leadership tendencies rise; and times where I near-desperately want to submit. It is all about finding a mutual balance in all of this.
As important as D/s is to me, having it be part of a larger loving and creative relationship is what I seek. I am an artist, craftsman, photographer and more. I have spent my life in the creative arts and I am seeking someone to share that with as well. I am a good teacher and a good collaborator and I want to create a home where creativity flourishes. That is very important to me.
I am not a masochist per se, but I can take a lot of sensation. I am not a slave, but I can at times be very slave-like. I am not a bottom, that is to say, just in it for the play. My submissive side runs deep.
Finding myself switching in all three of my previous D/s relationship, well, I must say, I enjoyed that too. Although the circumstance was different in each, it was done mindfully of what She wanted me to do. I am a good Top I think because I know from first hand experience what the bottom is looking for and try to bring that about. I am not a sadist, I just understand the sub side and try to fulfill that need my partner has. My greatest pleasure is giving pleasure, and I understand that can include me taking charge and being the Dom. No problem, something totally worth discussing at greater length.
If you are a Dominant Woman looking for a 24/7 slave, I am probably not the one for you. If you can accept dialing things up and down a bit in more social and vanilla situations, then there are possibilities. As I say, my submission runs deep and I am very open to training. I still consider myself very inexperienced and I want to learn and please.
If you are a submissive woman and that magic does happen, I think such a relationship can work. I will not be harsh 24/7 Dom, that is not me, but I can be harsh at times, and very strict in general. I think a great deal of what a submissive is looking for is love and structure, and I can provide both. If being a switch is a hard limit, I will of course respect that completely and not try to force you in that direction. Living up to your potential, finishing your education, these are things I will push you on. If you are not open to that, then I don’t think you are the submissive for me. Topping from the bottom will not be tolerated.
And if you are a switch, wonderful! Even just a little openness to the possibility opens up, well, lots of possibilities. Relationships and life in general should involve a lot of experimenting, all done in a positive and enjoyable way.
I am a bit older than some, but I am in good health. I need to lose a bit of weight, but I am also at that stage where the men in my family lose the belly as it were. I am ready for that, and a great relationship will help with that, I am sure. And I am very young at heart and plan on doing a lot of travel and related fun things with my mate. Lots of totally enjoyable options out there for a very full and long life, and that is the plan.
Your age is not important to me. Both my ex-wife (who is still a friend, I don’t have a lot of baggage) and my last Domme are older than me. Part of the confidence I seek in a Dominant does come from experience, though of course there are always exceptions. When contemplating taking on a submissive, I tend to think younger, because I do have a desire to have a biological child. I have grown step-kids and I think they are good references. If there is a spark, and kids are not a mutual desire, I will not force the issue. It is too important an aspect of life to be forced onto someone in any way. If you already have kids, well, I am open to that, but I know how much work that entails and without the addition of my own biological child as part of the plan, I think I will pass. But don’t be afraid to discuss the possibility more, the spark can work wonders.
I am in good health and I hope for good health in my love. I am a fairly active person and hope to be even more so in a relationship, one that gets me away from this darn computer… I actually like BBW in a healthy “this is my body’s natural and healthy” state situation. If you are a bit beyond that, then we can talk about ways we can help each other remedy that, again, the spark is everything.
Race is not an issue for me. I have never smoked, never done drugs, and ten years ago gave up what little alcohol I used to socially drink. I have some flexibility, I am not too prudish. I could not for health reasons be in a smoking household, I seem to have developed an allergy over the years. As a sub I would call that a hard limit. As a Dom, I can provide the structure to quit, if that is truly your wish. Worth discussing.
I am very open and very conversational, as this profile might imply. Collarme keeps rejecting my photos because for professional reasons I do not want to post a clear face shot, but I am happy to trade photos. I have multiple websites with examples of my art and photography and costume crafts and I am happy to share those as well. I love to talk in email, in IM, and on the phone. If there seems to be any potential spark on those levels, I prefer to meet sooner rather than later for that first public meeting. I have even traveled out of state to do so.
I have a career and the possibility of relocating revolves around that. Relocating you to me, that is an option if we bond. Totally open to that.
I update this profile now and then. I can never make it short and sweet. *sorry*
The Widdershins profile of mine has never been very active, it is a minor variant on my prime profile, ShySatyr. I am kind of tired of labels, the Widdershins profile has a bit more of an emphasis on my switch side, but truth is, it is about the chemistry between two people. I have had two more switch relationships in the last year and a half and as such they were fine, because that was the dynamic she and I had. I definitely have more of a sub side, but I am not rigid. I think that is a good thing.
I am now off focusing on my art. Sadly, I don't think collarme is the route that will work for me in finding a LTR. It is a long and complicated subject. I have been posting new art every day on Facebook and getting a great response. It is gratifying and I have made a number of new friends there specifically because of that. If I cannot have kink and creativity, be seen as attractive for both, then I will settle for the creative. I will check back now and then, I do appreciate and care for my friends here. I am just giving up on the meat-market that seems to overwelm collarme. Thanks all!
shy-
(previous profile - changed 5-26-09)
Looking outside the box?
Hello, welcome to my profile!
Widdershins is my name, and I tend to go to the left over the right, in more ways than one.
I had a lengthy bio on here for a short time but I fear it was too daunting. So I will attempt now to be more to the point.
I am a very eclectic person with a very strong bottom side. That is to say, at times I have a very strong need to submit, even slavishly at times. But it is not by any means a 24/7 thing. I am an outwardly very open and conversational person, down right dominant in many ways.
I am looking for a lover, one who can push at times, but like me, seeks a solid healthy and mutually rewarding relationship.
I like structure in all of that. To be called my submissive name and to have a collar put on. Then I am your submissive and our relationship moves forward in that direction. Remove the collar, and call me my regular name, and we are back to ?normal?. I do not like to have those roles blurred, I like clean definition between them.
And I can also switch. The whole point of this is mutual pleasure, enjoying each other. As I like to submit and be topped, I can understand how my love might feel the same way at times. To Top you, to help with your other fantasies, bringing you that pleasure is a pleasure to me also. Oh yes. If you preferred Topping me 90% of the time, that would be fine, but I am very open to more. Please let me please you.
I am a little older than most. Actually looking for a total Long Term Relationship, and in truth, would love to start a family, though I don?t want anyone to think that is an absolute or deal-breaker, because it simply is not. Finding a true soul-mate is my highest priority.
Get to know me. I tend to be shy, but I do want to expand myself in this world more. I have had five face to face chats to date and though the magic hasn?t happened yet, I have made friends, which is always wonderful. And I have a good reputation in one of the chat rooms. I have made lots of friends thanks to collarme.
Shy, yes, but I do want to come out of my shell more in this area. I am up for a munch and I am a good friend and potential ?body guard? and/or escort if you want to explore the greater BDSM community in the Seattle area safely. No strings, just friends, slowly getting to know each other, and helping each other explore the D/s world around us.
As I say, very dominate/alpha I am to the vanilla world. I am college educated, avid reader, successful and secure. Looking first and foremost for kindred spirits, and in time, hopefully that last great love of my life.
I am also an artist and leather worker. I am attaching a few examples. These are things I love to make and share with true friends also. A minor perk. I do look forward to hearing from you. Be well?
Just to clarify, I love the name Widdershins. I have had an association with the name since the mid-1980's, a long story that involves both King Arthur and Mithras. I was recently asked to post a disclaimer that I am not in any way associated with the Pacific Northwest Pagan magazine published for many years under that name. It is just an interesting coincidence. I am both an artist, a bit of a liberal, and left handed. Widdershins is an excellent association for many things that have come together in my life, which is why I chose it as an avatar. Nothing more.
Well, my switch relationship is over, back now to "friends only", but as good friends and we talk almost every day. The switch aspect was not the problem, a bigger picture compatibility was. D/s is just one aspect of who we are, and the big picture real world interactions are still very important.
I should not be looking though, I have a couple of friends that I am moving forward with and I really don't need to complicate things. That I seem to be moving into a poly area is kind of scary. Wish me luck.
Hello to all my friends, sorry I have no been online much. Will try to rectify. Best, Widdershins-
Well, for now, this is a bit of a good-bye. There are a number of reasons I am going to be far less social on this forum than in the past, partially because I am a bit burned out by all of the assumptions people make simply because one is a submissive here; but there is another reason, a far more important one, to be sure.
I have started a relationship with a Domme. Not one I met here, but at a convention a number of months ago. We have been slowly building to a point, discovering a lot of things we have in common and so far, it has been wonderful. She is also a bit of a switch, and much to my surprise, that has not been anywhere as much of an issue as I might have first thought. I have "topped" her once and it was a lot of fun. Most of my enjoyment was knowing how much she enjoyed it, for such is not my first inclination by any means. But it has been fun indeed and seems to be very mutual. And the first time she ?topped? me, I went to true subspace for the first time, had an incredible lucid dream of me sprouting wings and flying. It was amazing? hope to get back to that space soon? like say this weekend?
I will be checking CollarMe fairly regularly still, hoping to stay in touch with friends here. My apologies if I get behind in my correspondence, I will try to keep up. Thanks too for all the well wishes we have received. It is most appreciated. Be well and find your bliss. Best, Widdershins-
