WickedWhimsies

I’ll start out with the brass tacks (edgy, I know, but I’m not afraid to go there), and then we’ll get on to the metaphysics.

I am single; I’ve never been married. I have no dependents (though I envision puppies and/or kittens in the not-too-distant future), and I live alone. I have a terminal degree; I’m gainfully employed (and dreadfully overpaid, considering how little work I actually do). I’m exceedingly happy with the life I’ve made for myself, and I have even more promising prospects on the horizon. I live in mid-Michigan, a bit north of Lansing.

I’m smart, healthy, and fairly fit, though I could stand to lose about fifteen pounds. I visit the gym five times a week on average; I lift weights and do 30-60 minutes of cardio, depending on how frisky I’m feeling. I don’t smoke, though I drink socially. I’m drug- and disease-free (my dementia praecox, sundry paraphilias, and megalomania notwithstanding). I like trying new things, and I approach most people, places, and activities with an open mind until experience teaches me to close it. Mine is a simple, comfortable, accommodating life.

As my presence here at Collarme probably suggests, however, my sexuality is a little (a lot) askew. I’m not especially keen on the nomenclature, as interpersonal chemistry tends to determine the role(s) I occupy, but if you called me “dominant” I would not take you off my Christmas card list. I’ve switched before, however, and I’ve been in relationships in which I was exclusively submissive. I am, at bottom, an all-purpose monster in a box, and my box is very, very big. It also has berber carpet, track lighting, and a bitchin’ breakfast nook.

Various though they may be, I trust my impulses and inclinations and follow as they lead. I explore and experiment, and I take pleasure in the simplest and most elaborate expressions of power, knowledge, and intimacy. To be more concrete, there are few practices and activities in the BDSM arena that I haven’t entertained or wouldn’t entertain, though I err on the side of sanity more often than not. My wicked whimsies otherwise cover most of the territory, from the mild to the maniacal, the sensual to the severe.

What’s important to me, however, is that those activities and practices be an outgrowth and expression of an interpersonal dynamic of some depth and complexity, even if that relationship is confined to experimentation, play, or rhetorical shenanigans. Stylistically, I tend to be cerebral (read: I will mess with your head); the mind and body are equally important to me, and I prefer to address each one via the other. Even in the most limited arrangements—when I meet with a woman exclusively to practice bondage, for example, with all other prospects set aside—I still want to connect with the whole person. I like having enough in common so that we could conceivably talk and laugh, all other considerations aside.

With those sensibilities in mind, a few qualifications that may clarify my search:

Ideally, I’d like to meet locals—people who live within a few hours’ drive. That leaves most of Michigan in play, from Flint to Traverse City to Kalamazoo. I’ll happily correspond with intriguing people from farther away, though they’ll slide down my priority list as I make contact with folks in the immediate vicinity.

I’d also like to meet people who are similarly situated. I’m a serial monogamist, and I prefer one-to-one connections. I’ll happily meet for conversation and talk shop with curious novices, but those connections tend to get tabled when I find myself more deeply engaged with the prospect of a long-term relationship. I’m straight, but I seem to get on well with folks of all orientations. I’m not here to fish for a ménage à trois or assemble a poly household, but I’m secure enough in my manly monstrosity if my gal likes nibblin’ on womenfolk.

Fitness and health are important to me, especially since I’m shrugging off my winter weight. I prefer those who are fit or who, like me, aspire to greater fitness; barring some extraordinary connection, I would rule out heavy smokers.

I also value intelligence, maturity, and self-possession, though I know better than to assume that those qualities necessarily attach to a chronological age. I’ve known (I know) extraordinary younger women and exceptional older women, so I won’t draw any arbitrary lines. Use your own discretion on that score.

Finally, I would like to engage with the genuinely open-minded, the intrepid experimenters and explorers, those with a variety of interests (deviant and otherwise) who have not yet ruled out all the others. I’m just romantic enough to hope that I can find someone to grow with, and I hope when I find her we’ll have the whole wicked world before us.