WhatEverWillBe

Definition of a relationship

Whether vanilla or dom/sub, a relationship is a relationship. The goal of both partners that agree to live in a relationship should be to make each other happy. If you don't share this definition and you don't care about your male partner's happiness, you are not the woman I want to spend my life with.

In my view, the only difference between a traditional relationship and female-led dom/sub relationship is the fact that the woman is in full control and makes the rules. Does this mean that the sub can't ask his dominant for a favor? No. Does this mean that the dominant cannot give in to her partner's wishes? No. It just means that the male partner has to stick to his dominant's rules (e.g. he has to ask for permission) and if the answer is no, the answer is no.

I am not looking to top from the bottom but I am looking for a dominant, who puts her needs first but also cares about me and my feelings. Example: I ask my dominant, if I can go out with some friends tomorrow. My dominant rather wants me to stay home and please her, so the answer clearly is no. On the following weekend, however, my dominant already has her own plans (e.g she wants to visit a friend in London and go shopping with her). So whether I go out with my friends or stay at home alone, wouldn't make a difference for my dominant. In this kind of scenario, I am clearly not looking for a woman, who would force me to stay at home. Should I have misbehaved in the recent past and she wants to teach me a lesson, I am absolutely fine with that. If she takes advantage of the situation to play a sadistic game with me (e.g. I need to earn it but abstaining from ejaculating for the next two days), I am also fine with that. But without any reason or benefit for my dominant, I would not feel loved, which I consider to be a basic requirement for a successful relationship.

I hope this has helped to clarify my definition of the female-led relationship that I am seeking. If you see things differently, I am always happy to discuss :)

 
The difficult search

Out of 100 profiles of dominant females, 20 are obvious fakes, 40 are just looking for money without offering anything in return (which is apparently called "financial domination"), 30 are professional dominatrixes offering bdsm sessions for money, 30 are looking to deal with their ego problems by treating men like dirt, 20 are looking for women only and 20 are not attractive at all or have a catastrophic taste with regard to their appearance. Doesn't add up to 100? Unfortunately, many women belong to more than one group :(

So maybe there are 5 out of 100 women left for closer consideration. Two of those are living in the US and are not even reading messages from men living abroad, two read my message but are too lazy to even click on my profile because I didnt attached a face pic and one stops checking her account after I messaged her :(

If anyone knows a good place or way to meet naturally dominant women, who do not belong to one of the groups mentioned above, please message me :)

 
The man who is attracted to dominant women

I am a self-confident, successful alpha male with a great vanilla life. I am not a traditional submissive and I do not feel an urge to serve. However, I have always been attracted to dominant women and I have been fantasizing about a female-led relationship for a long time.

I do not get any pleasure from being kept in a cage, having my balls tortured or being treated like a worthless piece of shit. However, I do get a lot of pleasure from being dominated, overpowered, ordered around, slapped in my face or being yelled at by an attractive, dominant woman. Aggressive, dominant and bitchy behavior clearly turns me on and an attractive woman can easily twist me around her finger with such behavior. Once that has happened, the successful alpha male suddenly becomes very weak and vulnerable and can be easily controlled, moulded and abused :)

But I have also come across many things on this site that I will never understand and I clearly want to distance myself from. In order to give you a good overview of the things that I do not like, I do not find attractive or I simply do not understand, I have put together a short list of my own personal translations of things I have read in the past months.

I don't want to offend anyone, so please make sure that you have a good portion of humor:

Quote: "I am into financial domination."
Translation: "I am out of money, too lazy to work and unable to seduce a real man to spend money on me voluntarily."

Quote: "I am looking for a service-oriented life-in slave."
Translation: "I can neither afford a housemaid nor a gardener, so I am looking for a pathetic man without a life to do all the daily work for me."

Quote: "I am into sissies and forced feminization."
Translation: "I had a bad childhood which ruined my feminine taste and sexual preferences."

Quote: "I am a cruel domme looking for more pathetic losers to torture and humiliate."
Translation: "My hatred on men is still so large that I need more pathetic, helpless guys to let my frustrations out on."

Quote: "I am a pro domme with many years of experience."
Translation: "I am not dominant at all but over the years I figured out that this segment of prostitution is much more attractive to earn money."

Quote: "I expect you to do everything I say."
Translation: "If you don't follow my orders right away, you might realize that I am very weak and not dominant at all."

Quote: "I never want you to question my orders."
Translation: "I am scared of men with an own opinion."

Quote: "I keep my slaves caged most of the time."
Translation: "Any man with a job, a life or a minimum level of intelligence scares me to death, so I want to make sure that none of these contact me."

Important questions to make sure we match

1.) What are the most important qualities you are seeking in a female?

Firstly, I am seeking a very very very dominant and strict woman, who is able to control, overpower, train and mould a real man. If you are not able to overpower me and force me to do things, even against my will, you are not the right woman to tame me.

Secondly, I am seeking a woman with a very high sex drive. If you want to have sex once a week, please don't contact me. If you want to be pleased twice a day, I can't wait to hear from you.

Thirdly, I am seeking a very feminine woman, who know how to make a man horny. You don't have to be beautiful, you just have to be hot. You should have a great taste regarding your looks, hair, skin, clothes and jewelry with a clear preference for a naturally hot appearance.

2.) What qualities should your perfect female be seeking in a man?

Firstly, my perfect female should be attracted to a self-confident alpha male.

Secondly, she should be looking for a very successful man, who is extraordinarily gifted, intelligent and creative.

Thirdly, she should be looking for an excellent lover with a thick cock, tremendous stamina and lots of emotional and sexual intelligence.

3.) Would you classify yourself as a submissive man?

Given the characteristics of most submissive men here on collarme that I have very little in common with, I would rather describe myself as "a man, who is attracted to dominant women".

4.) What are your biggest sexual turn-ons in a relationship?

I love my dominant being bossy and bitchy, ordering me around and faceslapping me in everyday life.

I love to be threatened with very disgusting and humiliating punishments, which I really don't want to experience. (Although I seriously never want to experience them, if I screw something up, they need to happen, so the threat continues to be credible and becomes even more effective in the future. I might even try it out once if I have doubts that my dominant is serious about her threats.)

I am turned on by the idea of being in a forced relationship that I want to get out of but I am so strictly controlled and dominated that I can't. (Again, like the previous point, this is also a psychological thing, I actually love my dominant and don't want to leave but the idea turns me on.)

I love to be kept in a constant state of hornyness by being prevented from ejaculating despite having frequent sex. As I am very sexual and my urge to ejaculate can get extremely strong, it takes an even stronger female with credible threats of very extreme punishments to force me to hold my semen back.

While being in that constant state of hornyness, I like my female to permanently turn me on (sexy clothes, long kisses, etc) to further increase my hornyness and sexual urge.

I like my dominant to sit on my face, forcing me to lick her pussy and asshole. I also like to be forced to breathe and inhale the smell of her holes.

The dominant female and the young alpha male

Chapter 1: The dominant female

The dominant female is a naturally dominant woman, who has always been dominant as long as she can remember. She has experienced and achieved a lot in her life and now wants to find the special man she wants to settle down and spend the rest of her life with. The dominant female is very attractive and feminine and knows about the power of her appearance. Yet she dislikes nothing more than the pathetic approaches of submissive men, who offer to kiss her feet and do everything for her, knowing that they offer the same to just about every other woman out there. Instead, the dominant female is much more interested in a self-confident, successful alpha male, who is attracted by dominant women and could imagine to submit to that one special female out there. The dominant female also values the open mind, energy, creativity and talent of a gifted young man, who she can shape and mould into her perfect partner. She knows that the appearance of a man can be changed, his body can be shaped and his manners can be trained, but humor, intelligence, charme, personality, charisma and courage are inherited traits which ultimately characterize a person. The dominant female is very strict and seeks to establish a strictly female-led relationship with her alpha male. She knows how to make sure that she is always in control and not afraid to do what is necessary to make her man obey. The dominant female has highest expectations in every regard, and makes sure that she always gets what she wants.

Chapter 2: The young alpha male

The young alpha male is a highly gifted young man in his late 20s, who has always been a leader as long as he can remember. Despite his young age, he is very experienced, down-to-earth and knows exactly what he wants in life. Given the fact that he has always felt superior to his peers, he has always been two steps ahead of the competition and he has always prevailed in confrontations, he has become fascinated by the idea of a dominant female being in complete power and control over him. Over time, this idea has advanced and itensified to a degree, where finding this one special dominant female has become his utmost desire. The young alpha male is smart, witty, charming and highly talented in a vast range of different areas. Bored and suppressed by school and university, his ambition, creative potential and desire to make a lasting impact on the world around him has led him to break out of the ordinary, founding his own company in his mid 20s. Being given the freedom to continue to pursue his professional career is essential for him, yet he is willing to give one special woman the opportunity to completely control and overpower him for the rest of his life.

Chapter 3: The female-led relationship

A female-led relationship between the dominant female and the young alpha male looks largely vanilla in public but is strictly dom/sub in private. However, it has little in common with the bdsm fetishes that most people articulate in their profiles. The relationship takes place in the real world and consists mostly of vanilla activities, just like any traditional relationship. It does not take place in a dungeon, it does not take advantage of bdsm equipment, it does not refer to the male partner as a useless pay piggy and it is not focused on pain and degradation. Instead, it differs from a traditional relationship in the female's superior standing, meaning that the dominant female is in complete control of her male partner and the relationship itself. The strict control, definiteness and irrevocability of the relationship makes the young alpha male feel very exposed, obliged and closely connected to the dominant female, and he loves her to death for it. The young alpha male worships the dominant female's body, pleasing her from one sexual climax to the other and making her feel like in heaven every day. The dominant female knows that many people admire her young partner for his talents, success, leadership skills and achievements as an entrepreneur, and it makes her incredibly proud being the woman who in full control of this man.

Chapter 4: The first encounter

After getting to know the young alpha male on CM, the dominant female arranges a personal meeting. From the very moment when the young alpha male meets the dominant female in person, he is not given any further choices. The dominant female takes him home and forces him to please her for an entire night. Eventually, the young alpha male falls asleep and when he wakes up, he finds himself tied to the bed and wearing a chastity belt.

The die is cast and the young alpha male's training begins ...