WeTwo

Being a submissive woman throws up challenges that I believe are not faced by women in vanilla relationships.  Being selfless is probably the biggest challenge any submissive/slave has to come to grips with.  Not asking or demanding that our own needs are met is something that goes against our own nature and so finding a Dominant who is aware, who can anticipate and looks out for you is its own challenge. It is also about trust - not the trust that comes with knowing that once you are tied up and helpless that he will not beat you to a bloody pulp, but a trust that your emotional care, your body, your mind spirit and heart are in safe hands.  His responsibility to you is to care for all those things so that you are free to serve.

If I give my trust to a Master, then he holds that in his hands; he can mold me to suit his desires as he sees fit, yet i have to know that he has an understanding about what makes me "me".  What makes me love, what makes me laugh and cry, what makes me happy, what makes me submit, what gives me peace and what my fears are.  

While he can call himself a Master, is he really one?  Many can be Dominant, but only a few take the responsibility of real ownership seriously enough to truly understand the responsibility they have.

Very busy - chasing my tail!!

Not doing at all well with balancing everything.

I am letting my Master down and that makes me feel bad.

I'm learning I have to find a balance between everything that allows me to accomplish everything without descending into a panic that stops me from doing anything!

A good day and a bad day yesterday.  Too many mistakes made sent me into a little panic, but I think it came out alright in the end.

I`m feeling over stimulated, and a little nervous about tomorrow.  

It`ll be fine.

Well, this is the start of my journey.  Our journey!  And this journal will record my feelings and my progress.

 We met recently, and spent virtually all day talking on line.  We will meet in person on Wednesday.  Naturally, I'm excited that this may be the beginning of something incredible; and nervous because it becomes real and the anonymity of this computer screen will be gone.

 Still, my feeling is that this is a good thing and will be an on going thing.  I'm looking forward to learning about a new man; his body, how to please him.  What makes him happy, laugh, how not to make him mad at me (*smile*).  It is very exciting.

 For me, as a submissive woman it is an incredible feeling to anticipate caring and protective arms around me.

 And then there is, of course, the sex mmmmmm

 More later.