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| Hello all,
I have come to realize that most of the bdsm here online is fantasy, maybe a wonderful learning tool but not what i am wanting. fantasy is fun, but real life is better!
I am exploring and taking a new path in my life, i have found that after many years of making someone else happy in my vanilla life, i wasn't happy... I am truely a submissive at heart, i love to make my partner happy, and go out of my way to do that, maybe here in this path, i can find happiness and satisfaction for myself too! :)
finding the O/one is a long journey, wanting to "click" in other faucets of life...
I enjoy camping, music (all kinds), county fairs, demo derby's, the beer garden afterwards, Camping... lol.. bowling, darts, sloppy pool (hehehe) i have a good sense of humor, i don't take EVERYthing seriously, but know when i need to be..
i love goin out to listen/watch live bands, taking drives out in the country just for the heck of it, long slow walks, bike riding, hiking...
I like to hang out in the shop while toyin' around on a car... or a nice dinner theatre...
i have alot of different interests!!
I have 3 children, and they are pretty cool kids! :) i have been blessed!
i cannot have anymore and i don't want to have anymore....
after many hours of reading different sources online, i find that i only want to give my gift of submission to someone i "click" with in everyway.. also, i wish to only have bdsm in the bedroom, and maybe some of it filtered into everyday life... after some time, and more learning of eachothers wants and needs it can/could be expanded.. and after my/your kids are grown and outta the house then we could expand our goals and experience the bigger picture :)
I am totally embracing this, and wish to find someone who will be patient and understanding :)
as you can see, i am looking for someone that will want grow together and share a lifetime of loving eachother.
of course this is only a little bit about myself, and if you'd like to know more, just ask! :) I'd love to hear from ya!! :)
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Wow, it's been awhile since i've journaled here! i had a gastric bypass May 1st and so far i have lost 80lbs!!!! it's been a rollercoaster ride for me these last 6 months.
so many things about myself changing physically emotionally mentally...
the man of my life, full of jealousy, so much so that our relationship is in serious jeapordy.
it seems i can't talk to any of my friends anymore without us getting into a fight.. ugh..
it's a place that i wish not to be anymore.
life it too short to be fighting all the time.
i hope this finds everyone in good spirits and full to good health!!! |
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Happy Holidays everyone!!
this has been quite the year! i am hoping that the new year coming brings new experiences, good health, and new friends!
i have met someone, who makes me feel like a Lady, it has been a very long time since i've met someone who treats me with such great respect. i am looking forward to a lifetime of being with him, and learning from him, (and a little teaching too) *wink*
we seem to be evenly matched in everyway! it's almost scarey, hahaha
but it's great to be with someone who has the same intrests, passions, tastes in music ect ect ect, i think ya'll know what i'm meaning!
thank you to all for the wonderful advice, and great ears/shoulders, i hope to continue talking with those of you i have grown close to..
Here's wishing everyone a Happy and Safe New Year!!!
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I would just like to thank all of those who have given such wonderful advice!
it makes me wonder if anyone really reads these journals, or just looks at the photos!
hahaha
i need to make this clear, without sounding rude, or disrespectful.
i am NOT looking for someone out of state. i do not travel, nor can i afford to travel. with my jobs and my children, i do not have the luxuory to just take off whenever i want to. this is the real world and in it, i need to be responsible for things at home before i persue my curiosities. so please don't ask me to just "take-off" cuz i can't do that.
I am sorry Sirs, but please if you have children or grandchildren about the same age as me, please do not contact me. i'm usually not the kind of person that would place limits on age, cuz your only as old as you wanna feel.... but someone of this age, just doesn't feel right to me...
i will NOT carry out training or the likes of, in emails, messangers or over the phone...
i truely don't wish to be disrespecting anyone, and i am sorry to those of you who feel that way.
so in the true words of Forest Gump....
"life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get" |
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well, not a whole lot of new things to talk about in the love life, i'm still just hangin' out so-to-say lol...
i finally am movin' out of my mom's basement! i get my apartment on the 19th of this month :) i'm sooo darn happy!!
i'm still in search of the One man that'll take my breath away with a kiss.
"That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and that person and you realize that, this is the person that your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing kiss and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it, and so scared that it'll all go away at the same time." (taken from the movie "Never Been Kissed")
i hope that everyone had a Happy and Safe 4th of July!!!
wow how time just seems to be flyin' by!!
pretty soon the snow will be flyin' again!
we had a tornado touch down right outside of town here on the 29th of June. i took some really neat pictures. luckily the tornado touched down in feilds, and no big damage was caused, and no one was hurt! it was pretty exciting though!! :)
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so many things have happened since my last entry.
i had met and fell so very hard for someone i thought was the One, a man i have known for many years, i let him in close to me, and again, i hurt myself letting him in too close.
somedays i feel like i want to give up my search for someone REAL. when i talk with someone, i am upfront and honest about my expectations, wants, goals, ect ect ect... about myself......
and always at first things go so well, then after about 6 months, it's almost like they get bored or something.. i hope it's not me..... and if it is, i sure wish i knew what it was i was doing wrong.
i want so badly to please the person i am with, in every way possible. i have opened myself up to new experiences, and truely enjoyed them.
so i choose to bury myself in work for awhile, until i burn myself out.. and then i'll be ready to come back with a clear mind, and ready to start again... i'm almost burnt out! hahaha
i really want to find the One, the One that will accept my love and affection, and who will give theirs in return.
(is that too much to ask for?) |
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I hope that everyone had a Happy and Safe Holidays!!
over this holiday, i have experienced MANY new things and have met many wonderful people! online as well as offline!
i have experienced my first "swingers" party, i had thee best time ever! I met so many wonderful people there! and i look forward to going to another "party" there!
at the suggestion of a Dom, i purchased the "Beauty" books by Anne Rice, and have just finished book 2.. I LOVE THEM!!
(thank you!!!) what an erotic tale!!
i hope to fill this journal with many entries as i progress in my "training" and look forward to sharing my thoughts!
all be it a slow progression, i truely am enjoying it!
i seem to be finding myself clinging more towards couples lately i find it more reassuring and "safe"
I am meeting a Master this Friday, i hope that our "frist" meeting goes well!
*wink*
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| Age: 31 |
| Bronx,
New York |
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