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virtualannie

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Friends:
BarrieCowBoy
bri1870
strum
humbleSwitch
blanchematron
ANewBeginning1
Read the damn profile...

I DONT RESPOND or ACCEPT A FRIEND REQUEST IF
...you are rude.
...you want to cheat.
...you dont have a picture.
...you cant read and write.
...you dont read my profile.
...you arent coherently legible.
...you dont message me a request.
...you dont have a write up on your profile.
...you only have penis picks or just one picture.
...you cant converse with more than two words to your vocabulary.
...you are here only to gather friends, but offer no friendship in return.
...you live outside of Canada.

However if you are sending me a message please take note that
I am a BBW.
I am Straight.
I am creative.
I am DD Free.
I am a Novice.
I am monogamous.
I am not into drugs.
I dont drink or smoke.
I am a Romantic at heart.
I am a bit of a Loner and Recluse.
I am a Sensualist and a bit of a Sadist.

Looking for a LTR.
Looking to explore.
Looking for a switch.
Looking for gentle loving Daddy.
Looking for someone 25 - 50 yrs old
Looking for who lives in or around the GTAOntario.

I LOVE
9825 Chocolate in any
9825 Wit, Humour, Intelligence
9825 French and Scottish accents
9825 Romantic and Erotic literature
9825 Art, Design, Photography, Architecture
9825 Horror, Animation and Adventure movies
9825 Massages, Public displays of affection, Porn
9825 Tall, Broad Men, Preferably Caucasian with long hair
( I think I have just described a Gentleman Pirate perhaps?- where is Captain Jack!?)

TURN ONS
Grammar Articulate writing (spelling, punctuation, complete sentences are your friend), Vocal, Touchy-Feelie, Animals lovers, Liberal ideas, Creative thinkers, Tree huggers, Gear heads, Geeks, Musical and Creative types, Vampirism (no not the drinking blood kind), Eroticism (verbalwritten), submissive Dominant men (Switch), Feminism (You know - the kind where men and women are equal), Bi-sexual men, Squirting Femdom cuckold edging MMFMFM porn

I am also on Fet life. If your serious and want to learn more about me you can find me there and message me. Please dont message me with Hi, How you doin? or crap like that cause I wont respond to that lame-ass communication as your eyes and attention have wandered elsewhere. Give yourself some credit and message a woman with something that doesnt come off like you just got use of your penis and are trying out your social skills cause you have been gaming in your parents basement all day. I get so fed up on boyish borish behavour. I didnt just type this thinking my profile is an afterthought. If your a sub, slave, daddy or dominant be a man FFS and learn about the person so you can gain their attention and do so creatively! And yes, I know when youve probably been using the same cut and paste paragraph on me as you do others. You think we women arent smart enough to figure that out?!?! Be original! Im also not into ghosting, but I will block you if I feel you are being disrespectful.



Right now Im going through a fantasy stage of thinking about tying a guy up in a forest and having my evil way with him. Like sensual edging and domination...maybe a bit of worshiping....Id love to see him come hard for me....
10/5/2014 1:00:54 AM
It's nice to have an intelligent talk with a man via chat or email. But then all of a sudden it's all about cock/coming/masturbation/etc. Yes, I know guys think with it, but there is something called subtlety. Just because there is a computer between us doesn't mean you get your cock out and start stroking out verbal diarrhea. Do you do that in a bar? just whip your dick out and start saying she should get on her knees so you can fill her mouth with your cum? (If there is one I highly doubt the intelligent women you want is at one - and you shouldn't be looking for them period.) If you want an intelligent woman, learn about her needs and wants and turn them into yours. You might actually get what you want! - GAWD maybe I should look for a sub, fucking Doms are pissing me off today.
10/4/2014 12:17:54 AM
So I'm really REALLY finding it hard to find a Daddy Dom that wants to be a switch. I'm thinking that maybe one of two things. Would I be happy as a baby girl and would I get my needs met if my Daddy didn't want to switch. Also, would I be able to find a sub that would want to switch into a Daddy Dom mode or at least be a sub that would be caring and communicative in bed? I wish I could find the best of both worlds! I don't want a sadist or mastochist, but someone naughty but nice. Someone even Santa would approve, but be able to bow down to the wicked witch of the West. Angst!
1/14/2014 1:09:50 AM

I hope you guys like this story. I've been wanting to write it for some time now. Enjoy!

 

Everything

 

Facedown she rests her left cheek on the coverlet at the foot of her bed. Her rainbow socks moving back and forth and then criss-crossing while methodically complimenting the haunting tune Fear by Ben Howard that she had just downloaded. 

 

Mama, cold hearted child, tell me how you feel
Just a blade in the grass, spoke unto the wheel
Mama, cold hearted child, tell me where it's all gone
The luster of your bones, those arms that held you strong

I been worryin' that my time is a little unclear
I been worryin' that I'm losing the one's I hold dear
I been worryin' that we all live our lives in the confines of fear…


She uses her finger to scroll thought he pictures on her iPhone that she had taken with her Daddy on their trip to Scotland. Her other had blindly reaching for the bowl of M&Ms she propped beside her and then she pops a couple in her mouth. Slowly sucking at the coloured balls of chocolate until they are soft and warm and then biting into the hard centre she hums. Rolling the syrupy sticky chocolate marbles around in her mouth while masticating the almonds into crunchy bits, and then swallowing the solidified mixture she grabs for a couple more from the bowl at her side, careful not to get her sticky fingers on her favourite shirt. She is wearing Daddy's shirt today. The large one that smells like him and has been warn and washed so many times it is almost threadbare. The cuffs are rolled up, tattered and barren of any of the cufflinks that where once used to establish corporate formality. The tails of the shirt are so long they cover her red silk panties, which a keen eye can occasionally glimpse when a shift of a sock covered leg moves from bed to ceiling like a lazy fan blade.

 

After munching on a couple more candies she puts the iPhone down, closes her eyes and listens to the next track, wail of singer and instruments seeping into her soul. She feels a dip in the bed and smiles briefly without opening her eyes. A hand is placed at the centre of her back lightly skimming the any creases down on the material of her shirt as it glides. The motion goes back and forth over her shoulders, to the nape of her neck as it slowly crawls in downward in spirals to the base of her spine and brushes the top of her buttocks and then moves back up again. She stretches like a cat when it reaches between her shoulder blades and the action brings the bottom edge of her shirt further up her back exposing more of her thighs. His hand gently moves possessively to her hair covered nape and gently weaves his fingers through to massage the back of her skull. One of the earbuds are gently pulled out of her ear as she turns her head and looks at him with sparkling greyish-blue glazed eyes under languid half closed lids. 

 

"What are you listening to?" he asks.

"Nothing really, just a bunch of easy listening & soft rock stuff?" she says quietly with a sigh. His fingers pushing a stray strand of hair away from her face and behind her ear, he leans in to kiss her on the cheek. He had not yet changed from the office and was still wearing his black pants, dress shirt tucked in and tie loosened but still around his neck. His feet were bare of shoes or socks, one right foot planted on the floor and his other leg in a 45 degree angle on the bed, knee pointed towards her. His thigh would make a great pillow she thought, so she snuggles closer and rested her head on its taunt firmness, and the rest of her body followed forming a "U" around him.

 

The ceramic bowl of chocolates dug into his back when she had shifted and he reached around and scooped the last one out of the bowl before giving the bowl a home on the side bed table. His left hand still at the nape of her neck and petting her shoulder length red hair, right hand he used to place the chocolate against her lips and then the he fed it to her. His thumb and fingers hovering over her mouth and then thumb brushing against her bottom lip as he took her chin in his hand. She looked up at him with trusting soft eyes as he moved the pad of his thumb from side to side over lips and between them, tapping her teeth lightly as he placed the digit inside her sweet mouth. She sucked on it slowly, cheeks pulled inward, as he moved it in and out, and occasionally using her saliva to gloss over her lips.

 

Pulling his thumb from her mouth with a soft pop, he bent over again and brushed his lips over hers and then took the one earbud from the place where it lay on his thigh putting it too his ear. The last part of the song by Imagine Dragons was playing and he sang along while he listened with her and looked deeply into her eyes.

 

Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I want to save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide...


She smiled at him wickedly. "I like your demons Daddy." she said as the last chorus repeated. 

"Do you little girl?" he said like the big bad wolf and then he tickled her making her flounder like a fish out of water and captured her wrists and pinned them against her back.  in her struggle to get away from his fingers the hem of the shirt rose up to show more of her panties.

"Stop! Stop! your going to make me pee myself!" she yelped.

"My little girl getting wet for me. We wouldn't want that would we? Let Daddy see." he said as he kept her back pressed so she lay face down again on the mattress. He had turned more towards her on his knees, both of his feet over the edge of the bed. Pinning her wrists just with one hand he reached for the bottom hem with his left and lifted upwards uncovering the bikini silk cloth that covered half her ass cheeks. She stilled, slightly out of breath as he hovered over her looking at her ass. "Hmmm It's a little damp. I can do better then that." and then his hand tightly brushed over the silk indentation between the mounds of her buttocks. 

 

Letting go of her he crawled on the bed and manoeuvred between her legs to look at her panties. While he knelt between slightly parted legs her panties grew wet under his stare and the touch of his hands now running up and down the soft flesh and slippery fabric. of her backside. Her knees slightly bent and the moistness started to seep through a bit more as he rubbed between her thighs, his knees parting hers even more.

 

His hands crawled down her legs to her feet. He didn't tickle but slowly took two fingers and walked them up and down the sole of her feel. It still made her wiggle and gasp. "Am I getting you wet yet?" he asked.

"No" she giggled and smiled back at him over her shoulder.

His hands massaged her calves as he slowly rolled off her socks stripe by stripe, until he pulled them off each foot. For every inch he had uncovered on the second foot, he had kissed and made his way to her toes, his mouth not leaving her skin. He licked, bit and nibbled at the heal of her foot and his tongue traveled up the soul to her toes and then she giggled again. He put her big toe in his mouth and gently sucked on it. She groaned and mewed like a kitten! He planted a kiss and bit each of her toes and then put more than one in his mouth again and sucked. She felt the tip of his tongue lick over the small nubbly appendages and she could feel the growing wetness coming from her pussy now and slowly moistening the cloth of her panties as the liquid fire in her groin grew. He saw what was happening to her panties, as it made a slight colour change from bright red to dark red at the apex of her thighs. "mmmm much better" he said after stopping to nurse at her other foot.

 

He massaged her legs and behind her knees, rotating his thumb in the shallow spot behind her kneecap. He ran his hands over and between her thighs to push them away from each other as he knelt closer between them. She could feel the soft weave of his pants brush the inside of her thighs, giving her a warm tingle at epicentre of her hot liquid core and this expanding the already blossoming wetness yet again. Gently massaging and kneading her ass cheeks and parting them, his fingers finally made their way to the crack of her ass and ran down to the sleek lush moisture infusing into the silk and along the folds of her pussy lips. She pusher her legs apart farther this time and pushed her ass up further towards the questing hand that finally cupped her mound and moaned "Oh Daddy, that feels so good!"

"Yes, So good and getting so wet now aren't you? You like my hand here rubbing that nice little pussy of yours? That Beautiful little cunt?" he asked.

"Oh yes, please daddy don't stop!" she purred as he rubbed his fingers over the silk and along the wet slit.

 

His other hand rubbing her backside and the shirt was now at her waist. Her hips moved with the motion of his exploring hand bringing more moisture and heat to her panties. He brought the elastic of her panties down to uncover her puckered anus and used his thumb to massage it while his other hand rubbed her still moist fabric covered clit. She gasped at the friction and moaned as he made calculated circles over the fabric at her moist slit and around her anus. "Such a beautiful little ass. Is this my ass baby girl?" he said. 

"Oh yes Daddy, you know it is!" she moaned again as the pad of his index finger slowly pushed inward against her little puckered hole to test her.

 

"So sweet!" he said as he leaned in to kiss her buttocks and run his tongue just above the crevice where his finger played. Moist tongue then traveled though to valley and as his finger left her dark hole, they parted her ass cheek and his torturous tongue replaced the void he had made with his finger. His tongue pushed and prodded as his one hand nudged her apart and the other pushed her panties aside to get to her now dripping wet pussy. While his tongue explored her deeply, his fingers found her clit again and pinch and played with her. Ignoring the her own gasps and mews that came from her panting open mouth she tried greedily to ride his tongue and push it further inside by pushing her ass in his face. She was needy as she pressed back, hoping for a questing finger to slowly slide inside her that never came, but instead he lazily licked circles around her hole and rubbed her juices over her wet cunt lips. His fingers cupping her and dipping with her need, but never giving her that small satisfaction of filling her and only made her moan loader and arch her back. 

 

The earphones jack had come out of the iPhone as it shifted away from her and off the bed and she suddenly heard the next song on her playlist 

 

Live ~ I alone

It's easier not to be wise and measure these things by your brains

I sank into Eden with you

Alone in the church by and by

I'll read to you here, save your eyes

You'll need them, your boat is at sea

Your anchor is up, you've been swept away

And the greatest of teachers won't hesitate to leave you there by yourself chained to fate

I alone love you

I alone tempt you

I alone love you

Fear is not the end of this

I alone love you

I alone tempt you

I alone love you...

 

He suddenly stopped and pulled her panties off. "Turn around and kneel in front of me" he said in that rough thick velvet voice he had when he was aroused. She turned and knelt and he took her wrists and brought them to his chest. "Undress me." he commanded lightly. She didn't need to be told twice as she unknotted his tie off his collar and then ran her fingers over the front of his shirt as she pulled buttons out of holes. She parted the fabric as she got to the bottom and unveiled his chest. Darkly crested nipples lay on each pectoral, and a smooth stumach with a path of hair like an arrow pointing downward made her bite her lower lip. She lightly skimmed her hand over the light hair of his chest and shyly looked up at him as she licked and nipped at his hard nipples, softening the perfect ovals with her wet hot mouth. He was looking at her with hard passion filled eyes as he watched her tongue travel between them. Her mouth biting occasionally with the urge to eat her fill of him she stroked his chest and wandered down to the top of his pants. He brought his wrists up with a questioning eyebrow. She immediately took action unlinking the cufflinks and took his shirt off. While putting the cufflinks in the bowl at the side table she also put his shirt over the bedpost. She was just going to grab at his belt buckle, but he stopped her and gave her a warning look while he undid it himself. With a woosh he had pulled it from its belt loops in one whip of his wrist and arm.

 

"Take is off for me" he commanded in a roughish voice, indicating the shirt she still had on, as he pressed the belt end into his hand. Slapping it the belt on his palm he watched her hesitate. She looked at him with innocent eyes and with trembling hands she started on each threadbare button hole finding it was much more difficult with his hard eyes watching her, but she eventually shrugged it off and threw it over beside his discarded shirt. 

 

"Such a beautiful little girl!" he said softly. He looked at her naked body, desire filling his eyes as he positioned her hands behind her back again, his chest brushing against hers tightly as he did so. His lips gently biting her jaw as he leaned into her and then pulled away. "My girl to tease and to play with." he promised in a harsher, but still soft voice. He then used the belt end to circle her breasts, but did not touch her nipples, and then downward over her stomach and hips. Her body trembling with need and her pussy pulsing with wetness that now dripped down her thighs. It was an eternity before he grazed her nipple and slapped it gently with the belt end. "Such a good girl, my good girl! Daddy will make you feel so good baby!" He slapped her nipples back and forth and they became slightly swollen and red with the repeated lash of the belt. She knew he would not bruise her or leave a mark, just play with her so her feel the blood come to the surface and her flesh beg for only for his touch and caress. He gave that willingly as he bent and licked at her red flesh and then encompassed her nipple into his wet mouth sucking hard, his cheeks caving, teeth scraping and nipping. With a tortured moan she bent backwards pushing her chest toward his mouth, as the belt made its way down her stomach and between her thighs and then gently tapped at her mons. She parted her thighs a bit more as it teased her and as the belt tip soaked up some of her gushing liquid it made a slight slapping noise against her sensitive clit occasionally making her jerk and jump. He worked on her other breast while he teased her, sucking gently and then hard, his other hand tweaking and pinching as blood gathered to extend her nipples into ripe hard cherries. 

 

He continually kept her body on the cusp of a painful pleasure filled path. Her hands reached up from behind her back and grabbed at the back of his head and scrapped at his shoulders as she pushed his mouth towards her hoping he would take as much of her breasts in his mouth as he could. Groaning as he denied suckling her only to use his tongue to play with the tip. "Please suck them Daddy! It feels so good! Please harder!" she pleaded. His tongue around a nipple he said teasingly "Do you want Daddy to suck these nice tits, baby?" As he let go of the belt and let it fall over the edge of the bed he squeezed both nipples at once hard. "Yes Daddy! Oh yes!" she yelped and then groaned as he pulled and released them making her back arch more, offering herself up to him. "Mine!" he said as he sucked them in a rhythmic pulses back and forth nursing on each one until she screamed for him to make her cum as her wet juices pudded on the sheets.

 

His right hand then cupped her cunt as she was arched like a bow and he pushed a hard finger inside her and started a new rhythm. He grabbed her hair at the back of her head and  met her passion dazed eyes with his steel ones and as she jerked in his arms. Her nails biting into his back as he fingered her slowly and then a bit faster as eyes deepened further. The penetration of finger and deep eye contact only took her higher and she begging to be filled with more than one finger, or better yet his hard pumping cock. "Please Daddy I want to cum! Please take me!" Her hands were desperate to get him inside her as they made their way to his waist and opened the button on his fly. The hard ridge of him was already pressed against the seam in front of his trousers and as her hand gently slid inside she brushed over the silky head of his cock. A moan came deep within his chest while his mouth vibrated the sound against her open mouth. Her hand slid up and down his cock as he detached himself from her and watched enraptured as her hands brought him out of his pants and stroked him. It was like hard and soft chocolate all at once, licking her lips she wanted to suck on it thoroughly to make it melt on her tongue. The glistening fleshy mushroom tip had her thumb skimming precum from the small opening, fingers sliding over veins and weaving down towards shaved sacs. She cupped and gripped him firmly and ran her fingers up and down its solid length. She wanted so much him to feel enjoy the tip of her tongue sliding into that small slit and to taste his salty sweetness. She yearned for his groans of pleasure, with his head pulled back in ecstasy, as he pulsed in her mouth while she took his cock to the back of her throat. She wanted to tease him while looking up at his face in devilish fascination, as she licked under the swollen head, slapping it against her tongue and then sipping the beads of pearlescent liquid into her mouth as they oozed out. She wanted to hold him there knowing she had this wonderful power to make him go over the edge for her alone.

 

He had a different plan of action though, and he laid down on the bed. Pulling her waist towards his face to straddle him he said "I want you to ride my face baby. I want to eat and drink my baby girls' sweet pussy!". He opened her thighs at either side of his head and cupped her ass as his mouth licked at her swollen red lips. She grabbed onto the headboard as she felt him part her folds and he watched her cream glisten and drip out of her sticky sweet hole. "That's it baby, give it all to me…I want every inch of you, I want to lick out every drop!" His tongue plunged into her pussy and he pushed it in and out, slurping her juices and plugging it into her tight hole again and again with the expert precision. Her body did the only thing it could and road his face. Between him flattening his tongue over her clit and rapidly lapping at her juices, his fingers forayed over the crack of her ass and gently inserted an index finger to his first and then second knuckle, slowly pushing in and retreating, giving her a taste of guilty pleasure. She arched her back as she pinched her nipples riding waves of sensation, opening herself to him as her pussy clamped down on his tongue, her cunt greedily for more. Her hips ground downward in circles as she pumped against his face, his nose bumping her clit with each pass of her hips. She was almost at a peak of pleasure when he stopped and pushed her off. She flopped on her back with a inaudible groan of surprise and frustration.

 

He got off the bed and took his pants and underwear off. His cock jutting out in an arch away from his body pointing to his belly button, but just a little to the right. The head was thick with blood and it jerked slightly as he looked at her and bobbed with his movements as he walked to back to the bed. He watched her watch him and grasped the root of his cock. "Want it?" He said in a smooth voice that wasn't really a question, but it really meant she was going to get it regardless she wanted it or not. 

"Yes, Daddy, I want that hard cock inside me." she moaned.

"Open those legs for me and show me how much." he commanded sternly.

She laid back with legs wide, knees spread but bent out and feet slightly inward. 

"Show me how much" he said again softly licking her wetness from his top lip.

She looked at him while her fingers slipped over her thick folds and parted them showing how red and engorged her clit was and how succulent and juicy he had made her opening. She slipped a finger inside and pretended it was him teasing her again and arched her back.

"Sooo good baby, rub yourself for me, see how wet you are for my cock." he said as he crawled back on the bed and watched her play with her clit while he stroked his cock. "Beautiful baby, I want you so bad!" he breathed in raggedly. Hips wiggling and thrusting as she watched him, imagining his cock as it plunged into her to fill her up. "Please Daddy, don't make me wait any more." she moaned. 

 

He knelt between her thighs, spreading her wide by taking her legs and putting them over his shoulders as he took the head of his cock and grazed her clit over and over. Gasping she looked into his eyes as he kept her gyrating hips still with one hand grasping her hip. He gently put the massive pulsating fleshy head into the tight ring of muscles at her wet tunnel and pushed in and out. She arched her back as he teased and prodded, the head of his cock moist and wet with her cream as he pushed with shallow strokes. He drove her mad with each quick stroke and pushed in slowly inch by incredible inch. His thrusts became more steady and deliberate as he then stayed inside her aching pussy. He plunged into her with hard strokes that filled her all the way to the top of her cervix, as he leaned in and pushed as deep as he could go. Her knees were pulled towards her chest as he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her towards him for still deeper penetration and to anchor her to him. His cock was driving and thrusting into her at a steady pace as he controlled the force and pressure for both of them. His eyes looking into hers as he set the hard brutal pace.

 

He was pulling in and out occasionally to produce the "ohhhs" and "ahhhs" that drowned out the music in the background and made her throw her head back as he ground and rotated his hips in a circle into her again and again. Once he was pounding into her he used the same in and out motion of his tongue as he kissed her open mouth. She sucked on it and she felt the heady sensation of the double penetration and trust with both tongue and cock inside her wet holes. "Yes fuck me Daddy! Fuck me!" she said as she broke the kiss and held his possessed gaze.

 

The slapping of wet bodies and moans increased as he picked up the pace, lengthening his stroke and his pelvis putting pressure on her clit. The walls of her cunt starting to shudder over him. Her eyes closed, the back of her head sunk into the pillow and she let out a silent scream as the bottom of his cock hit her g-spot one more time. He put his thumb at her clit, lightly stroking while she gushed around him. Her legs trembling around his neck as she came and clenched his cock repeatedly as her orgasm threw her hips towards sucking him within the warmth of her juices, him taking him even deeper. His spine tingled and balls tightened, his cock deeply packed inside her, stretching her as far as he could as his cock lengthened, bulged to explode, and then he shuddered and roared with his last thrust. He spurted out so much cum he thought she would never take it all. Jets of cum poured into her as he pumped his hips, mixing with her cream to drip down over his sacs and down over the crease of her ass. 

 

Trying to catch her breath, she had watched with tenderness and awe as his back had arched as he gave her everything he had and filled her to the brim. He had teased and made her respond to his love play, but showing her he would not hurt her and that he wanted her complete trust in him. He would give her constant pleasure while denying himself as well. He opened her up and completed her with his love and secret desires. As they slowly tumbled together to cuddle, arms and legs entwined, she brushed her hand over his sweaty chest and felt his still fast beating heart. She loved him because he was so much more than a Daddy, he was her everything!

 

Mr. Big ~ daddy brother lover little boy

 

If you're a red hot fire cracker

I will light your fuse

If you cry like a little girl

I'll dry your baby blues

When you need a man of action

I'm ready to make my move

Like a shotgun shot, Johnny on the spot

There's nothing I can't do

 

Everything you're looking for

You can find in me

I'll be anything you want

Anyone you need

I'll be your daddy, your brother, your lover and 

your little boy.

 

When your body needs salvation

I'll be your tender touch

I'll take all the love you give me

And give you twice as much

When we get undercover

And do the horizontal mile

I'm in the mood to answer to your call of the wild

 

Everything you're looking for

You can find in me

I'll be anything you want

Anyone you need

Everything you're looking for

Anything that you want and more

I'll be your daddy, you brother, your lover and

your little boy ...

1/5/2014 12:51:07 PM

The past couple of days and I have been unsure and excited. It mixes between the two. But I feel closer to where I should be. I look back on how I was when I was growing up and how i acted out my sexuality and also what I've wanted in my mental, physical and sex life and realize that vanilla is definitely not for me.

So, I found that I am a bit of a sadist! How did that happen? I don't know. All I know is that I do like giving some light pain and it does turn me on. I also like the need for my sub/slave to be be of service. I also found out some of my boundaries on having a Daddy Dom and what role he plays it and that I may be more Dom then I thought I was.  I need a Long Term Relationship that is trusting and compassionate and there are no secrets between us and for me especially it is not a shameful thing. I however do not wish to shame, but I can understand a man's need for some degree of humiliation/shame to help him free his inhibitions and help with power exchange.

I have always loved men, the way they move, what they look like, how they smell, clothes on or off (mostly off :). I love their touch, touching them, feeling their roughness and their softness….I can look and touch for hours and watch as he comes alive for me. I want to know what they think and how they feel as i push them and take control of them. The only thing is that I don't know more then I want to, and I find it very awkward in not knowing more of what goes on in a mans head. Oh, yeah it's great when a 20yr old Sub says they will lay at my feet and serve me, but I don't have the tools to know what they need psychologically, mentally and physically to own them. Nor do I want to damage someone so young, as much as I would like to mould them and see them submit. I'm honoured and appreciate it, but I don't know the responsibility involved. 

I do find myself loving the knowledge of a man serving me and me using him. But deep down inside I also want the little girl to get her needs met as well. It's finding someone that can take that on that worries me, as I'm unsure if I should have a Dom that wants to be topped or a Sub that wants to be a loving Daddy Dom. 

I have had offers to meet with Doms and subs alike, but I am unsure and not as confident or assertive (thank you for that word hs) as I want to be. I want to be secure in the knowledge that I am not being taken advantage of (even by a sub) or making the right decision to even meet. I feel more comfortable with men….but scared at the same time. Yes, I can tell by the mails I get who are more intellectually grounded, stimulating and even knowledgable to the ones that are just in it for the sexual subversiveness and temporary needs that I may fulfil for them.

I also have body issues. Being a big girl is not all its cracked up to be and I have to work on this, as well as find someone that looks past that.

I do however want someone that perceives this as more then sexual gratification, but also a psychological need and an attachment. A deep need to connect and give body and soul. I don't know how to ask that. I do know that the most telling way is how they try to connect with me thought words and give me support if I need it in a non sexual genuine way. 

I did have the courage to go to the adult store in my neighbourhood and get some ideas and  feel a bit better about myself and where I am heading. I might not have bought the flogger that I was interested in, but it was nice to feel the its' leather tentacles as it gently weaves and teased my fingers and fantasize about how it would feel caressing a mans back as he bends over and kneels before me. Another step in the right direction…. ;)

thegoddessamy
 
 Age: 19
 Cameron, North Carolina