Above all else the Dominant loves and cares for his submissive, in the knowledge that submission is the gift freely given and Domination is the loving return of that gift. He is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to him, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.
He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that he may exercise control over others. Within him he holds the power of emotion and can cause real tears to flow ... tears of joy and of sadness. As the consummate lover, he will then kiss the tears away, without ever stepping out of his role as a Dominant.
When trouble arises, at the first hint of a safe word or gesture he is quick to leave the roles behind and embrace his lover, to be a supportive and caring partner, understanding the difference between fantasy and the reality of this the most loving and intense relation between two beings.
He understands the difference between sensation and pain and the gap between guidance and forcing someone into a role they do not desire. He knows that true punishment and sensation play are two completely different aspects and would never raise his hand in anger.
He is modern enough to believe in his mate's rights and His/her place as a equal outside of the roles. He is old World enough to be protective and chivalrous, Romantic enough to believe in Honour and to defend his Honour and that of his Mate, showing he can be depended on and trusted, he should also show pride when His submissive behaves well and calm and control if not.
For a dominant to win his submissive's Heart, he must first win trust, through his honour, truthfulness, kindness. He must know his sub's mind and body and strive to know her soul. He must show that his Guidance and tutelage is worth following, that his knowledge is deserving of her attention, that this is a person from which the submissive can learn and grow.
His main concerns are the pleasure he gives to his submissive and foremost her safety, knowing how to extend to Bounds of pleasure. and bring the submissive farther as she progresses on her own path, ever the careful guide, never knowingly pushing but probing to find her limits and then helping her surpass them.
He Is Knowledgeable in the use of sensation to extend the bounds of pleasure; He can bring his Submissive to new heights of passion. He Then takes her passion and moulds it into something akin to fire, A bit of a Chauvinist, he assumes his Alpha role, always Showing respect, though Quick to Point out the differences between the sexes, but knowing that there is no inferiority in those differences.
He knows that the most important aspect of their relationship is communication and discussion. He is always ready to hear her wants and needs. Always open to hear her heart and to put aside his Role and Listen.
His watchword is patience, always taking the time to listen and learn her limits, knowing that as her trust of him grows, so will the love and closeness in their relationship
He is secure enough to laugh at himself and to join in the laughter when it is directed his way, Courageous enough to accept assistance, Open minded enough to learn new things, knowledgeable enough to know that there is always more to learn.
He is never demanding of ritual behaviour simply because he is Dominant. A submissive responds to a Dominant if he shows himself worthy of respect. Compliance is a product of wanting to please, NOT from fear of punishment (which is most likely a reward to most submissives). The worst punishment for a submissive should come in the form of the Dominant's displeasure
He knows and understands the inherent Dangers involved in sensation play and is prepared to assist if distress arises. He understands the fragile nature of the body and the mind, and is most careful not to do serious harm to either, he never violates the trust placed in his hands by the submissive.
The tools of a dominant are mind, flesh, spirit, soul and Love with a little help from whip, clamp, rope, paddle and blindfold. He understands that the pleasure of each partner comes from the Giving not the receiving of the gift, and it is the Gift not the receiving of that gift that is most important
