Perhaps it'd be helpful for newcomers (and the more-bashful veterans) to examine a few how's and why's.

For example, let's look at the plight of the would-be spankophile and some of the difficulties he/she might face in getting to that cherished perch over the partner's knee (or persuading said partner to assume said position) ? and bear in mind that the goal is to convey to one's mate sufficient reason to accede to specific desires.

Why do you want it?

Why do you seek to be spanked ? or to spank your mate, as the case may be?

Is it for punishment? Discipline? Do you need to have someone "riding herd" over you owing to a lack of self-discipline? Do you need that motivation? Or do you feel guilty about having let your mate down, and need to have your conscience soothed? Do you need to have someone else "in control"? Or are you the dominant-type who needs to have control? Do you feel the need to enforce rules? Do you need this sort of thing as an affirmation of your place as Ruler of the Household? Do you feel that it somehow improves the domestic situation? Do you really want discipline ? or just like to have your butt walloped? Are you truly concerned about the household ? or simply want the excuse to take a hairbrush to her bottom?

Or is this a purely erotic venture? Do you like to submit, to experience those "at-your-mercy" feelings? Do you like to play the Misbehaving Wife or Naughty Little Girl ? or perhaps The Recalcitrant Schoolboy? Or is it simply the physical responses accompanying the sting of a well-spanked posterior that fuel your desire? Or is it merely the idea of doing something "kinky" or "taboo"? Are you a wife wanting more of the "Me Tarzan, you Jane" side of your husband's persona to emerge? Or are you a man seeking to vent some of that Cave-man testosterone? Or maybe you simply like to have a delectable female bottom turned-up and placed at your disposal. Perhaps you're a woman who likes to feel a man's vulnerability as he presents his buns for your pleasure? Does that reddening ass squirming over your lap turn you on? Maybe you just like that warm feeling as your bottom turns to a cherry color.

Is pain your goal? How severe do you like it? Do you want to bear the marks of the experience for several days afterward, reminding you of the interlude? Do you just want that "stingy" feeling ? or do you crave the resounding CRAAAAACK! of a paddle that takes your breath away? Do you "get-off" by causing such discomfort? Do you want to be taken to your limits of endurance ? or take someone else there?

What does it do for you? Is it a massive turn-on? Does it provide an emotional release? Does it make you feel somehow closer to your mate?increase intimacy? Does it make you feel more of a man (or woman) ?

These are questions one might face in broaching the subject for the first time; the prospective recipient (or provider) would be well-advised to have answers at the ready.

Talking about it

Have you ever raised the subject ? or are you a bit squeamish about it? Why?

Well?if you haven't, then it's probably because you (a) don't quite know how to bring it up, (b) are worried about his/her likely reaction, or (c) because you feel like an idiot even thinking about this stuff ? let alone actually talking about it; embarrassment is not at all unusual ? particularly among newcomers.

To begin with, how's your relationship with your partner? Do you generally feel secure in discussing "forbidden" topics? Does he/she typically cringe when sex is an issue? Are your stated concerns or desires usually met with an open mind? Are the two of you generally adventurous in the sexual realm?

Has the subject ever been raised before? Have there been any little hints suggesting receptiveness (or the lack thereof) ? Does he/she ever frequent Web sites that might suggest an interest or willingness? Have you ever displayed an interest?

And what will your mate's reaction be? Will she consider this "foolish" or "childish"? Will he be concerned about hurting you (or being hurt) ? Will she find the entire idea embarrassing? Will he view it as "perverted" or "kinky"?

So many (frequently contradictory) suggestions are offered in this area?"Use the direct approach"?"Be subtle"?"Write him a letter"?"Leave a spanking Web site on the monitor for her to 'accidentally' see"?"Show him this Web site"?"Leave a dog-eared book where he's sure to see it"?"Schedule a date/conference with her"?

And so forth, ad infinitum.

Ultimately, how you choose to go about this is your decision. By all means, listen to all that proffered advice ? then, go with your gut. Only you know your partner well enough to hazard a guess as to his/her reaction, receptiveness, etc. Just keep in mind that at some point, sooner or later, a candid discussion (probably more than one, in fact) will be necessary; be prepared to present your thoughts in a fashion most likely to ensure acceptance. Anticipate the questions and concerns he/she might have ? and as mentioned above, have your answers at the ready. Remind him that he's not going to seriously hurt you, and that you're not going to summon the police. Help her overcome her embarrassment by allaying her concerns over the "childish" nature of the endeavor. Assure him that this isn't necessarily a commentary on the basic nature of your relationship, or that you don't have a desire to degrade her. Tell him of your submissive nature. Remind her that many men sometimes feel the need for "role-reversal", or to give-up control.

Be frank and forthright; honesty really is usually the best policy.

Doing the Deed

Okay. So you've had your heart-to-heart, and you're ready for action.

A word of advice here: If you had to do some cajoling or pleading to get your partner to embark on this little journey, introducing him/her to your world by brandishing an eight-foot bullwhip probably is not the wisest course. Since you're trying to build your mate's desire to be spanked (or to spank you) by showing how much fun it can be, a gradual breaking-in is more likely to be successful. Zero-to-Mach 2-in-10 seconds isn't an auspicious 'how-do-you-do?' . Similarly, when going over your partner's knee for the first time, expect a bit of tentativeness; odds are that he/she is more than a little apprehensive about hurting you already. Allow the intensity to build gradually at first, until you're both comfortable with how things are progressing. Proceed with caution. Remember that your partner may not share your predilection for such goings-on, and will likely require a period of adjustment. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will your spanking relationship be. Be encouraging, and avoid performance anxiety-producing criticism. Positive reinforcement is crucial. Let him/her know how much this is doing for you ? especially afterward, when second thoughts may emerge.

Aftermath

Be reasonable in your expectations for continued activities; you could kill the desire by wanting too much, too soon. Let your partner get comfortable with the idea before you start hankering for a repeat performance; unless you manage to tap a hitherto unknown source of desire, he/she probably won't much care for being suddenly besieged with increasing demands for encores.

If, on the other hand, it turns out to be a complimentary desire, then by all means seize the day; it's not at all unusual for a newfound source of interest to fire the need for more.

I hope this proves beneficial to someone (I hate like Hell to think I did all this typing for nothing!) . Comments are welcome, of course ? as are further suggestions.