UnownedxxSlave

The Joy of Slavery And Submission – Part 1

A long time ago in a land far away, a young boy liked joining his friends in backyard games of cops and robbers. He always wanted to be a bad guy because the cops would catch him, lock his wrists in kiddie cuffs and haul him off to the jail – a box fashioned by the boy’s parents to have a window and a door with bars cut from the cardboard.

As cages go, it wasn’t much but being locked in it excited the boy or at least as much as a six year old can become “excited.” Looking back, his early experiences with bondage and confinement under someone else’s control foreshadowed what his life would become.

Fade to black; fade in 10 years later, and the same boy was now in high school. He’d been given a car by the same parents who fabricated the jail, and it gave him the opportunity to begin a lifetime of service. Several days a week, he would offer to drive girls in his class home after school, sometimes going miles out of his way. It wasn’t that he was dating any of them or even wanted to – at his school, no one actually “dated” – but because the errand made him feel appreciated and useful. Another foretelling of the life he would carve out for himself.

The two examples stand out clear in my mind because the little kid and high school student grew up to be me.

Even though it would be another decade before submission took on a name and shape in my mind thanks to a woman I began dating and who turned out to be a Domme, I realize now it is what I have always been.

This, then, is my story: The good, the not so good, the wonderful and the bizarre. It tells how a kid from the Midwest who liked being “captured” ended up discovering the joy of slavery. I will try to post new segments every few days, time and work conflicts permitting. I hope you will enjoy it.

Since this is a long holiday weekend here and in the States, I’ve had time to think about a whole raft of things.

What I’ve focused on is how much I miss living the life of an owned slave, which I have led for much of my adult life and for roughly 14 of the past 16 years. And although I also have an established, professional life that supports me – and helped support my Owners – my psyche, soul and being is that of a slave.

Trying to find a new position is the reason I have a profile here as well as at the FemDomme Society because I believe in Female Supremacy.

To me, being enslaved does not necessarily mean becoming a doormat that does not possess a thought of my own. Indeed, one of the great strengths of my last Owners, Queen Charlotte and Princess Melissa (a married couple here in Toronto), was that they appreciated my intelligence, my creative personality in the vanilla world, and my ability to think.

Yes, they made stringent demands of me and were perfectionists; yes, they used me harshly, sometimes as training and sometimes for their own amusement; yes, they dictated most aspects of my life. But they also included me in many aspects of their life – both vanilla and lifestyle. Beyond the base line of my service and devotion to them, they graciously included me in their life outside of their home. And that inclusion only helped to deepen my devotion to them, my commitment to making their life more pleasant and pleasureable, and my desire to serve, to please and to be pleasing.

I’ve been told that I am fortunate that all three periods of my enslavements were like this, that many slaves look for a situation where they’re treated like dirt and that many Owners want this of their property. I sometimes wonder if the difference is that I am a slave because I enjoy the life and lifestyle, and wasn’t drawn to it because of low self-esteem or self-hatred.

I don’t expect or want to replicate any of my previous situations, and I know that my new Domme – when I find her – will have her own personality, lifestyle, desires and needs. Yet there are times when I despair of ever being able to find a new Owner where everything meshes together as it has in the past for me.

I try to keep myself in fairly decent shape but every corner of my body hurts today from all of the shovelling - which isn't nearly as much fun as hurting because of having been trained or disciplined.

I shovelled snow at least six or seven times throughout the course of the day, doing my sidewalk as well as the sidewalks of my neighbours on either side of me. I also shovelled the street in front of my house, pushing the snow out from the curb so that when the plows would come through i wouldn't end up with a huge wall of compacted snow and ice blocking my access to the street. Since not everyone is diligent about shovelling, on days like yesterday and today I end up walking in the street to get to the main thoroughfare, where the TTC runs and there are stores.

If I don't have to shovel again now until December, it will be too soon.

I remember when the Rolling Stones were the Rolling Stones and sang things like:

When I’m watchin’ my T.V.
And that man comes on to tell me
How white my shirts can be
But he can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke
The same cigarrettes as me

And now “Sympathy for the Devil” is the sound track for a Mercedes ad on the Super Blow. Yes, I know that there’s supposed to be some irony because the car doesn’t cost as much as you’d think, and they’re making a joke. But still …

I may be the only straight guy in North America who won’t be watching the game but at least there's always some pretty decent counter-programming on other channels during the Super Bowl. I'll probably watch Foyle's War on TVO.

Since I am in Canada, I won’t see the commercials that people in the US ooh and ahhh over. But there is a website that has had nearly all of them on-line for several days now (www.superbowl-commercials.org/cat/2013) if anyone north of the border wants to watch the spots.

My reaction to this year's crop of Super Bowl ads? They are universally awful and agencies have lost their creativity, or so it seems. They're either trite, expected or just plain unfathomable. For instance, I was addicted to the first five or six seasons of The Office but the Dunder Mifflin spoof made no sense. Where is the edgy stuff of "1984"?  ()" href=")" target="_blank">)" target="_blank">)?

This is what corporate America is spending $4-million per 30 seconds on this year, plus probably as much in production costs? If I owned stock in any of the companies laying out that much cash for a mediocre commercial, I'd consider filing an action charging misuse of corporate funds.

There is a bit of good news, though: Pitchers and catchers report to spring training in less than 10 days, and life begins anew with spring training.

Oh. Just wondering. Who is Kate Upton when it's not raining and why is everyone so ga-ga that she’s doing a TV commercial?

I've been in e-mail contact with a practiced Female Supremacist as part of the process of establishing an initial connection. I was surprised, floored and delighted when I opened my mail box today and found this, part of a much longer note. I thank this woman very much, both for her confidence in me and for the lovely things she wrote.

- - - -

I have reviewed your profile and our past correspondence. you are refreshingly articulate and meticulous with details. you can clearly anticipate what I would want. you also dealt with my early inadvertent inattention with courtesy and respect.

you are not so rigid in your understanding of D/s so that you cannot accept that every Dominant has her style of control. you are quick to register correction and your response to same has been instantaneous (insofar as this mode of communication allows).

your experience is such that you can be an excellent addition to any household. you understand that "use" is not a narrow spectrum. 

you have been able to aid in the training of other submissives, and to do so, you have aligned the tenets of submission in your mind in such an orderly fashion that you can clearly communicate what you have learned.

- - - -

This makes any boy happy and proud!

I have heard being stood up happens to Domme's with some regularity but today was the first time it happened to me, or at least in a very long time. It is very frustrating.

 I had an appointment to meet a woman at Second Cup for an initial, preliminary interview. I arrived a few minutes early, secured a table for us away from other people, and ordered the coffee she had told me that she wanted. I sat down to wait.

When 15 minutes passed, I became a bit concerned but thought that perhaps because of the cold weather there was a problem with the streetcars. At a half-hour, it began to dawn on me that she was not coming. Since I did not have her phone number, I couldn't call and since my cell is a "dumb phone," there was no way to check either my e-mail or this site.

I finished my coffee and, when nearly 60 minutes had lapsed, realized she was not going to show and left.

I know that, for many people - women and men, Domme's and sub's - this site is a way of safely living out a fantasy without actually having to follow through. But why not a message or phone call to cancel? Have people totally forgotten manners and common courtesy? Or is it that they never learned such things when they were children?

I need to clarify something in my profile that seems to be causing a bit of confusion based on questions I am being asked and e-mails I am receiving.

In my profile, I state that I am bi-sexual. What that means is that I am "bi-friendly." I have served Masters as well as dominant pre-op TS women but I'm not interested in meeting dominant men, and I've never dated men vanilla or D/s).

I'm sorry if I wasn't clear but there isn't a "bi-friendly" choice on the drop down menu.

I bought a new computer on the weekend; I needed one and the chain was having a big sale. Unfortunately, it came with Windows 8 which is not like any previous version of Windows. As a result, it is impossible to figure out how to open things or to get to where I want to be.

It is very frustrating.

I cannot understand why Microsoft decided to make such a drastic switch after people have been contentedly using the old approach for decades. For example, for 15 or 20 years, when the computer was turned on, it ended up on the DeskTop where I could open Explorer or Word – about the only two programs I use. Now it goes to a screen filled with a bunch of coloured squares than show jillions of things in which I have no interest.

Turning off the computer is just as complicated.

In the past, I would hit the little flag key, then the letter “U” followed by Alt-U and the machine would shut down. (I’ve never liked using a mouse so learned all of the keyboard commands such as “Control I” for italics.) Now, I have to move the cursor to find a panel that leaps out from the right side of the monitor, and never can seem to get it to show up. So I just hold down the power button until the computer shuts itself off. I have no idea whether or not I am going to screw up the machine.

It took me two days to find what used to be called the “Control Panel” so I could uninstall a bunch of stuff that came loaded on the computer that I never use so it was just taking up space. For some reason, besides Explorer there were two or three other browsers installed. Why would anyone need more than one browser? Anyway, they’re finally gone as is Outlook, which I also never use, and something called “Windows OneNotes.” Now, if I can just find how to defrag I’ll clean up all of the space I just created.

I called the fellow who sold the computer to me and asked if he cold rip out Windows 8 and install XP, which is on my old computer and worked just fine, thank you. Nope. Microsoft doesn’t support XP any more. I’m stuck with 8, which is junk.

Once again, I have experienced another living, breathing example of something I’ve always known: Just because technology can something doesn’t mean it should.