What would you do for Chocolate Cheesecake Brownies?
(I make a mean cake if I don't carbonise it)
(see bottom for the serious disclaimer bit)
Wikipedia (the intellectual bible that is it) says that Unicorns can only be captured by virgins. This could perhaps be where we are going wrong. It also says that they aren’t part of Greek mythology, but part of it’s history: they actually believed they existed - and so do we.
What we do know is that the unicorn is a gift from god (Job 39:9-10 KJV) so you can guarantee you’ll be treated as such - until we cage you mwahahahahahaHAAAA ::cough:: ::splutter::
We linger around many a watering hole such as the Camden Crunch, U35s Kinky Drinkies (mid-week and weekend) and are happy to meet up for a pint or a boiling cup of something whenever thou desireth. The huntress will also be happy to speak with you over the phone, real life woman to woman to still your fluttering heart(/nether-regions)
Whilst a fun ride along the beach is delightful, we’re also open to you joining our stable on a more permanent basis.
We’re very lovely so don’t worry if you’re shy and need gently breaking in. Every unicorn is unique and every encounter is uniquely suited to you so let us know what gets your hooves off and your horn on, whether that’s a tussle through the rough and into the woods or a languorous tryst on the green.
On a serious note:
We are part of the poly scene and we know that just because you’re bi and female (and poly) doesn’t mean that you automatically want to sleep with us! We’re interested to know you as a person and, hey, if there’s no ::click:: then we’ve just made another friend which we’re just as happy with - and if you enjoy the company of one but not the other, that can still be explored - hell, we know finding one person you’re interested in is hard enough, let alone two! We are kinksters and I (MyAlias) am a unicorn myself and likes being objectified, so we’re happy to meet people on the ‘let’s go on dates and get to know each other’ place of the spectrum to the ‘let’s have a drink together, discuss likes/wants/needs and plan nefarious night in’. In either situation respect is at the forefront of all communications and whilst we are wanting to focus on fulfilling your fantasies be they kink or sex inclusive or exclusive as an old timer or a first timer - please give us respect also.
P.S. Morning after sugarlump guaranteed and tea if we like you
P.P.S. We’re well known on the scene, so if you’d like personal references that we’re sane, sensible and safe (also sensuous, sexy and someawesomeawe) we’ll happily provide them.
P.P.P.S. No we don’t want to go to Candy Mountain with you. No trips to see the Banana King and certainly no kidney stealing ::hurrumph::
P.P.P.P.S. We’re humourists not unicorn or horse fetishists. Sorry.
P.P.P.P.P.S. If you’re up for it, the huntress can just as easily be your quarry if you’re wired like that.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. We like unnecessary post scripts
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Like this one
