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It hard to sum up in so few words the thoughts of any mind. Although as trivial as it seems to put the "i like long walks on the beach" type of introductions, I guess its all apart of grabbing just enough attention from someone to create a tunnel to channel the thoughts and desires of the mind into unison.
Here it goes. On the surface I'm just a face in the crowd, a person you see shopping, the man standing next to you at the gas pump that shoots you a slight smile as we go about our way.. but deeper behind the mask of what seems like normalcy lurks a man with deep desires, boundless fantasies, and repressed imagination.
All overshadowed by the dominant ways of my life, the way I lead, the way i handle relationships, the decisions I make, all I control. Ever since I could remember I was always the person people looked at in hard times for a quick decision, the person expected to lead, organize, and execute. I've fulfilled my roles, all the while having a deep desire to follow, to give up control, to allow another to make the choices for a change.
Finding a dominant has proven almost impossible. I don't seek an emotionless punisher that flogs someone into submission with little to no regard for their mental state, physical state, and desires. The other side of the coin is that because of my dominant nature.. its not an overpowering sense like "I AM HERE" but subtly from years and years of being a certain way, I've found most end up looking to me, even if its not something I desire. Dominants i have met always end up seeing me as a dating partner, or relationship of equal exploration.
Im afraid that I might be the awkward piece of a jigsaw with an extra notch, never finding that right fit into the puzzle.
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