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The difference bdtween a slut and a bitch : a slut fucks everyone, a bitch fucks everyone but you
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I am out of both anthracite and bituminous coal so it is peat moss for all you on the naughty list. |
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The yellow haired lady was buried at sunset, the stranger went free of course
Cause you can't hang a man for killing a woman that's trying to steal his horse |
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Twas in a restaurant they met
Romeo and Juliet
He had no money to pay the debt
So Romeo'd what Juli-et |
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"I've given up n true love and decided to settle for recreational sex." Cupid, overheard after another frustrating Saturday night. |
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There is great disorder under the heavans and the situation is excellent. Chairman Mao |
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It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who is supposed to get tied to the bed. |
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When in danger......
or in doubt
Run in circles,scream and shout |
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" It ain't hard to fuck up......it just takes time." Shake Tiller |
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The Tale of the Little Birdie - Once upon a time there was a bad, lazy little birdie. As the weather got colder and winter appoached all the other birds flew south for the winter. The lazy little birdie stayed where he was "There is still plenty of time to go south" thought the birdie. However, he had miscalculated and was caught up in the first blizzard of the year. He tried in vain to fly, but his little wings iced up and he had to land in the barnyard. He was lying there freezing to death when a passing cow crapped on him. He was warmed by this and was so happy he began to sing. The farm cat heard him singing and pulled him out of the crap. He carefully cleaned the birdie off and ate him. There are three morals to this story !.Not everyone that shits on you is your enemy 2.Not everyone that scrapes shit off of you is your friend 3.If you are warm and happy....even under a pile of shit....keep your damn mouth shut |
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"Sex is the Neosporin of amore' " -Dick,Third Rock from the Sun |
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Murphey's Law: Whatever can go wrong will go wrong - and at the Worst possible time.
O'Toole's Commentery: Murphey was an optimist.
Cole's Law: Finely shredded cabbage.
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The time has come, the walrus said
to talk of many things;
Of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax
of cabbages and kings;
and why the sea is boiling hot...and whether pigs have wings |
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