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Female Switch, 25
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Male Switch, 54, Huntsville, Alabama
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Female Submissive, 36, Albuquerque, New Mexico
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About tryingagain
ok, i feel that i need to rewrite a thing or 2 in this profile, i am still 35, and i am still not fufilled, but i find that those that are responding to this profile have done so thinking that i am something that i am not, i fear that i may have mislead and i am truely sorry for that, i am the submissive type but i really dont have the "real time" experience that some may think i have, or are looking for in a woman, i have played with it but dont know if that is really my role, i know i love the feel of being bound and used to an extent, so i would consider myself more of a bedroom bondage type person, but they dont have that as an option to choose from, i have seen myself wanting to try to do the slave thing, but i dont know if that is the right role for me because i dont want to dissapoint anyone if i fail or am not what they want, i still want trust and friendship and all that, i just dont want something serious, i am still not ready, and i dont want to fool myself or anyone else into thinking that i may be someday, i still want to experimant in some things and that still includes being paired with a couple, to help fufill my fantasies and maybe theirs, i am an open book so feel free to write to me and ask me anything, i hide nothing, its not worth the trouble to try to do so, i will leave the new part of this at that and leave the old here too so that i dont have to retype it, lol, so if i repeat anything, i apologize, and have a great day!!!!! i am into being tied up, and used.. not neccesseraly abused, unles it is in a good way.. i DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP, I want someone that is going to give me that proverbial one night stand,, or 2 nights or whatever, just no commitment what so ever,, i look to find trust in you that i cannot seem to find in my "real" world. i need discretion and understanding and have no problems with building a friendship, even after we are done using each other for what we want from each other,, i do not want to do anything 24/7, i have a life that i cannot interupt, that is final,, relocation is not an option, i am happy where i am,,, i have my hard limits.. they include, no scat, no bukkake, no golden showers, no humiliation.. as in treated like a dog or so on, no kids, no knifes, no needles, no animals.. i never thought i would have to include some things,, but i found that i do,, i am looking for someone that understands what i have been thru and what i want,, that will help to fufill some of my fantasies and then leave me go,, u use me i use u kinda thing,, I know that trust is a major issue and i do not want to just run to the first person(s) that i come accross,, i want to understand u and your wants and for us to build a trust that will give us the comfort of what we want.. . Please feel free to write me and i will make my best effort to get back to you... i do not wish to be insulted nor do i wish to insult,, i am not a slut,, just a woman that likes bondage and misses having it occasionally in my life.... also.. i am a pleasently plump woman that has no doubt it wont change for awhile,, so if you are looking for a barbie,,, look elswhere,, thanks,,, oh, yeah,, i am really against smoking,, you can do it if you like on your time,, save my lungs please,,, that is a hard limit for me,, i dont want to be around it or exposed to it if i can prevent it,, if that is an issue, i am not your woman |
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well it has been like 6 months since my last journal entery, and to start i would like to apologize to anyone that has sent me mail and i have not responded,, it is of my own stupidity that i put myself in a position then get confused as hell as for what to do, and for those that i have responded to,, ditto,,, anyways, i still dont know my place and i still dont know where i am going on this travel, all i know is i am still very much lost and very much in need of soemone to talk to,,, ok,, i am done blabbering,,, till next time |
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i know i am about to sound like a broken record and for that i am sorry,, please bear with me,,,,,
i am so confused about where i am in my life, i did the wife thing, failed, did the fiance thing, failed, done the girlfriend thing, failed, did the part time submissive kinda, more of a bondage slut i think would be a better word for it, i think i failed at that to, not sure though cause i only did that once,,, and am doing the mom thing and feel like i am failing at that too,, **dont help that i have a minime for a daughter, my mothers curse and then some..lol**
i want to have more, not nessasarily a long term relationship, i stray away from them cause they never work and i have become more stuborn in the past few years.. i want kinda what i had with my friend that i played around with this all with, no strings in a sence, but there has to be some kind cause of the trust thing,,
this is all been on my mind so much lately, i have played around a little with someone that has no experience and is very timid with all of it, i want more, i want a couple that can deal with me just wanting to play, and be played with, i dont want RT cause it wont fit with my life, i want someone to understand that i am clueless and lost and i miss the feel of the rope, the flogger, the affection and the abuse of it all, i am not into like the "abuse" kind of play, just the fun part, does that make sence, does anything i ever say make sence,
if there is anyone out there that can help, will help, maybe step in and be what i want or at least help me figure it out,
goodbye for now and thank you in advance..... |
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i just reread my journal entries, and it seems like an eternity ago that i wrote some of them, april, wow, how the year has drifted by, i am still in the same place that i was, and that is very hard for me, some things have changed, the "friend" that i played with has moved on, and the "me" that makes me crazy is still in there, crying out for so much more, and again i still cant get myself to that place, i am still lost, insecure, and tired, life never seems to change, lol, at least to me it doesnt, everyday passes and a part of me still feels unwhole, unfufilled, i want my cake and to eat it to, without messing up what i have going on right now, as in my "vanilla" world that i live in everyday, i know there are alot of like minded people out there, but in my town there arent any that i come in contact with, there have been a few that are close, but due to age, or one that i can think of, i have known to long to ever have that kind of intimacy with,
i apologize for my last entry, i was going to remove it, but i didnt, because that was a part of me on that day and that is how i felt and still feel to an extent, i do still picture myself in the pictures that i see, i do still wisht it were me, its just "me" is so damn insecure and afraid of failure that i cant bring myself to doing anything about it, and now life has planted a few more restrictions on me with work, babysitting, being a friend and a mother, its all so much sometimes, i still long to have it all swept away for a moment of time, not that i dont love all the parts of my life, but i long to feel the whip, the ropes, the leather, to have the "fantasies" fufilled, i know i keep going on and it is 1am here, and i am tired, i will go, leave my rantings behind and wish all who read this well,
Me |
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it seems that i have come to an impass in my life, a place of serious confusion and need, i have a friend that i play with, on occasion, that has much experience, but because of life restrictions things cannot be more than they are and we cannot do all the things that i would like to do,, not for lack of trying, lol, but because nothing that he could do for me would totally fufill all of my needs, because face it, he is a he and i crave a she, i crave so much it hurts my head sometimes,, lol, a big show stopper for me is my insecurities and my fear of some new things, i feel scared taht i may disappoint whomever has interest in me, because of my inexperience with the quote unquote lifestyle, and because though i have "been around the block" i still find myself feeling like a virgin, lost and untrained
i have had some find me here and want to meet and fufill my needs, but again, i fear myself and them, regection is a major thing for me, that it why i was so blunt on the points i made in my profile,, so to the one that tries, i enjoy our time adn will continue to do so, but if you should read this, please forgive me for feeling the way i do, it has nothing to do with you,,,,,, |
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i am only taking the time to do this because i have a problem!!!!! there seems to be some people that think that just cause i am here and i want something specific, that i want to be disrespected,, that is not why i am here, i will not accept anything from anyone that thinks that that is an option... i may be submissive, but i am not a dog, i am not beneath anyone here,, i thank those of you that are respectful, trust comes from respect and i appreciate that you agree enough to be kind.. to those that dont think that way... F*** off, i dont have the time or the patience for you,, for those that i may offend with this, i am sorry, i mean no disrespect to you,, just the fools that act rude |
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Male Submissive, 49
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Male Submissive, 43, oregoncity, Oregon
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Male Switch, 27
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Male Dominant, 49, NYC, New York
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Male Submissive, 32, talent, Oregon
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Male Submissive, 45, South Jersey, New Jersey
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Male Dominant, 28, CENTRAL, Virginia
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Male Dominant, 51, Toccoa, Georgia
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Male Submissive, 49, Columbus, Ohio
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Male Submissive, 33
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Male Dominant, 45, Kankakee, Illinois
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Male Dominant, 19, Austin, Texas
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