1/8/07 ( 0430) 
Did it!, the tab worked but still had time to put thigh boots on. Constantly touched boots through the night. Awoke at three and had the most intense orgasm
{Ma’am writes ; This needs to be discussed}
Dreading mobile messages, my natural instinct is to fix stuff and my good nature will be exploited. Ma’ams help will be key to my survival here, i know i’m in the right place and that i cant go back.
All manner of shit will get thrown my way and knowing it’s shit should help. Will sort work today.
Hungry and not worried at the moment but that has a habit of sneaking up.
Ma’ams been through the same shit, nuff said!
If i’m idle i’m, fucked, imagination is a bad thing as it lets the ‘wot if’s’ in.
0730
A bit wobbly but keep telling myself that she’ll be o.k. Love her to bits but she wont listen. i answer a question on how I feel to be told i’m wrong and what I’m really thinking.
0830
missing Lucy and Roxy (guinea pigs). Phoebe ( a daft lurcher) wont know why she’s not getting her walks and that’s really upsetting me {bad times}
{Ma’am writes:
If you are hungry- ask
If you need to talk-ask
If you want to know-ask MM}
1830
Almost couldn’t be arsed to write tonight which is a good thing but it’s only day 1 so i mustn’t get cocky. Ma’am is shielding me from the ‘real world’ but i’m realizing my world is whatever i choose it to be. i don’t want to talk to Sharon and as Corrine (my counsellor) said ‘ If you don’t want to do something then don’t do it’. If i’m being selfish, so what.
FUCK!!!!! I sent a mail to Mistress Julia, Marian and Andy without Ma’am seeing them, first and fast time.( Ma’am writes; Why?)
Lots of work, little thoughts and often, thought of building a (guinea pig)
enclosure in the garden and nearly lost it.
When Ma’am said Dave was staying the night I panicked in case he took Ma’am away from me but soon got a grip { Ma’am writes; Dave is my lover, you are “my boy” do not worry “Don’t panic Mr Mannering”}
Would love to go to events with Ma’am but if I baby sit I must remember i’m letting Ma’am live life and that’s all that matters ( Ma’am writes; If events are Thusrday nights when ‘-’ is at Nanny’s then you can come)
Ma’ams feet are fucking wonderful. When real life has to be dealt with i know that Ma’am will help and advise. When dad dies i know i’ll have to see those bastards who fucked me up. All i know is today I lived the dream (c.b.b’s. NOT INCLUDED) and I look forward to tomorrow {Ma’am writes; c.b.b’s a new form of torture then, ha ha.}
Frightened {but loveing it} as to what Ma’am wants to say about boot orgasam. Will ONLY hold boots of Ma’ams, for now i will only clean them, i’m very happy and Ma’ams children are easy company. Where’s my shoe polish?
p.s. Bickd the barnett
Musnt take wanking for granted, it’s not my body no more
p.p.p.s. Must ask about wearing knickers
2250
Something has just just occurred to me. Ever since I can remember i’ve had a fear ofBUTTONS!!!. If I hadnt lost the needle i’d have stiched one to a boot. i didn’t throw up when i touched it. Ma’am must always look her best and i will { cliché time} do anything for Ma’am but She already knows.
Still thinking about boot orgasam and what Ma’am has to say, POMM 
i'm a 49 year old male submissive who has been pre owned by four Mistresss and one Master. On two of those owner ships i lived in.
