Im just getting bye living a little life in a little town in a big world. Everday something new makes its way to me. My strugles have eased my thoughts are more clear then ever before. I am i sight of the path to my lifes mission. My angel took my hand and is guiding me. To lift anothers spirit is to lift your own fly my spirit soar to the heavens. I am beside you. I will remain.

Today is my first entry for some time. Alot of changes have come to pass. I was given a collar of protection by Mistress Peace and Mistress Amanda this last week end. I am so pleased to have them to help me and guide me in my journey. I would like to express some things about what this means to me. From a traditional aspect a collar might be thought of as a confinement to me it is a freedom to express devotion to one that cares for my well being. It is symbol of desire to learn and share knowlage of the basic understanding of what is in the heart. I would like to thank everyone that whitnessed my special day and to my Mistresses I would like to thank you for sharing a place in your heart it is an honor.

Please tell me where my heart is I am alive but I feel it not. I hold my breath to know the truth of all that maters to me please show me. Can I make this journey knowing my light shines for me somewhere. I know not where please give me derection I am not blind of what I know only of where I will find it I fear what I do not know I see light in the truth. I will hold the flame until it is no more and all that I am is only the memorie of one my gift from the stars.

    Just a whisper in my ear My body convulses in pleasure from desire and want. A thought of you conects my every cell. A word from your lips can take me to a place I've never been. It is the bonds of the old that hold my body here yet they grow weak with the stress of erosion soon to fail. And free me to the chains of my heart that grow only stronger. 

So many days I looked in the mirror and saw this person I didn't know. Who is this in the glass.  How could I respect this image that would keep him self from me and be so silent. Is this my enemy. I do not see it in his eyes or on his face. He seems to be so shy and sad He says no words but just looks back at me. Then a tear runs down his face and my heart begins to break it hurts  so to see him cry. I reach to touch that sad face to wipe away the tear but the glass is cold and hard it stops my hand. Then i see his lips move distinctly and slowly. His words I will remember forever. (What a beautiful girl you are I see the softness of your face. So sweet your pouting lips so lovely your eyes so full of thought and caring your rounded shape so sensuous. You are so beautiful to me I love you so. Please help me from this glass so I might touch your lovely grace). How over whelm ed I felt to know this person loved me but couldn't tell me before. It seems it took a life time for him to share these words with me. Such a struggle. What a silly boy. I wish I could have helped him along and been there to give him the strength to say it before. All the time we wasted looking at each other and never understanding what the other was thinking. As I looked into his eyes the glass seemed to melt away. He reached to touch my face and wiped away my tear. His gentle touch so loving and kind I close my eyes flushed with love. If I could see from his eyes what he sees in me. I must have something I don't know. This handsome thoughtful boy could say such sweet things to me. So I tried to understand what it was like to be stuck in a mirror for so long. It had to be a prison cold and hard he must have been so alone and afraid. when I opened my eyes I looked back to the mirror there I was just as he described.  Now i can see why he had such a hard time saying the words he could see this girl so sad and shy and only wanted to be help her find her way and and didn't know how. 

All I have to do is close my eyes and I know I have you there for me. Right inside my heart and in everything I do and think there you are hoping the best for me. Let us be there together in that place for it is pure and real. I will grab the wheel and steer the course. The challenge is but a opportunity to show the resolve and the strength in what we can do to make the most beautiful dream come true.  

 I do not know why I cant just be happy it seems when I feel  excited about life and good about things. I know I will slip into dispare and sadness before i know it. It happens without fail.  I do not remember the last time I was just happy for happy's sake for more then a few days. It is so frustrating to live this way.  

Oh sweet thing i give you me and i take you to my breast and hold you close forever. The gift you share of you will see me through the darkness. I pray the gift of me will shine a light for you to see your way. I will fuel our dream and keep this flame and warm this space we share. My heart is a fire on this day for love.  Understanding that love is not given or taken but excists only in a shared space. A Beautiful gift sharing.

Everyday is a clam to pry open maybe the pearl will be there today if not there is another day and the clams are good for you so enjoy.

   Grab the brass ring each day and make a chain of your life.  Make it as long as you can keep it close and charish it for one day you will link it to and share it with the chain of the one you love.

I do not feel so lonely because I am alone. I only feel lonely when I forget to look into my heart. There I find the one that shares in and makes my dreams. Until they come true I will allways look there to find my smile and when you look there you will find me smiling back at you.

I wake with a smile and i wonder is it the essence of a  sweet dream I do not recall. Maybe someone that loves me is thinking about me. I seek no thought to find this smile for it comes from knowing and trusting completely anothers smile.  Its is the most beautiful exchange of power that of love. I submit to my heart. 

How I love the talks we have and the laugh's and tears we share i would not trade them for anything as i find the limits of love i have i have to share them no mater the pain no mater the pleasure its worth it. the stars are the limit.

I didnt get my wakeup call this morning but i was awake in antisapation anyway and how good it is to have one that makes the day worth taking on. please smile and i will share a tear to fuel the light. The sun shines in my heart. even if it rains on my face.

Today I take the time to cultivate what i have and thank the D/s gods for the understanding i have. Smiles

 A tear for your time if you will