Toxistica

Full Moon I see the full moon as it shines light into my room. The fuller the moon becomes the more my primal urges come to surface. I wonder if I'll ever find a Dominant who can give me what I want. I wonder if everything I have discovered about myself will ever be put to use . I feel as if a sleeping primal beast within me that's been sleeping is finally waking up again. I am starting to feel alive again and wired. I long to be someone's desire, to be able to tease , to be playful, to have that side of myself actually put to use. I know who I am and she is waking up once again. I'm excited for this month Halloween is coming up and I'm going to be Little Red Riding Hood. I often wonder who my big bad wolf is.

Recently I was asked well what kind of Dominant do you want. Do you want a Master, Dom, or Daddy Dom. It really was an eye opening question for me. I never considered that there are different tops of Dominants before. This lead me to further look into myself to figure out well what kind of submissive do I want to be. A sub, a slave, a gorean slave, a little. I realize that before I continue on my journey these are all things I need to figure out as well as doing a bit of healing. There's a certain person in my life who I was with for quite a few years in my life that I haven't gotten over all the pain and anger from. This is something I definently need to get over and deal with before I look for my next Dom whatever type of Dom he may be. So for now I'm just going to work on friendships, my inner demons, what exactly I want, and healing.

You asked me what else I had to say? How can I tell you all the things that would make me a naughty girl when I?m trying to be good? How can I tell you the sight of you tightens things lower in my body and quickens my blood flow? How can I tell you that I want you to take your primal urges out on me? How can I tell you that I long for your fingers to interlace your fingers through me hair, yank my head back and kiss me deeply thoroughly? How can I tell you that I long to feel your teeth clamp down on my neck right at the bend and feel you bite me? How can I tell you that seeing you makes me want to feel your hands running over my body? That I long to feel your mouth clamp over that special part of myself ? That I long to take your cock as far down as my throat will let me? That I long to feel you thrusting deep, hard, and fast against me? That I long to feel your cock pounding against my cervix until we climax together and we fall asleep wrapped in each other?s arms? How can I tell you I want to belong to you in every way a slave can belong to there Master? How do I tell you I want you to humiliate, degrade, be sadistic, bite, pull my hair, slap me, talk dirty to me, and take me as you see fit? That I want you to spank me, punish me, make me yours. How do I tell your it?s you I want to fulfill all my deepest darkest desires? I want you to choke me, blind fold me, tie me up, and do all things taboo, all things forbidden. This is what I think, this is what else I have to say when I see you.

I feel this void inside myself, waiting, watching, wondering, mocking me inside. Saying that I won't be able to find what I'm searching for. Where is the fire to my air, the Dom to my submission, the king to my queen, the other half of my coin. Time is precious, time is all I have. Hoping I can find the one that will want me always, the one that can look inside my mind and see the secrets hidden deep inside. The one who not necessarily completes me for I am whole on my own but the one I can truly say I am his and only his. Hoping to find the one I can call Master, Sir, Alpha once again. The one who not only has my mind, but also my heart. I have felt loves sting many times before. It's a pain I do not wish to feel again. So when I choose to open up who I am my hope is they will try just as much as I am. That they will put in just as much as I. I am an imperfect being looking for my partner in crime , my Dominant, my lover, my friend, my future husband, and one day father to my children. Where are you? Call upon me once again. I am here waiting for you, Sir. I am ready for that soul connection , to feel true love once again.

What I Trully Crave I'm curious how you given total control would want to Dominate me and be my Dominant how is it that you yourself would take control and take me. How would you mentally dominate me to the point where I thought of nor wanted anyone else and so that I was yours in all ways. Oh to find a Dom who could do this is my ultimate dream. What would it be like to be fully captivated by a Dominant again, a Dominant that wants to make me his always.

What I Trully Crave I'm curious how you given total control would want to Dominate me and be my Dominant how is it that you yourself would take control and take me. How would you mentally dominate me to the point where I thought of nor wanted anyone else and so that I was yours in all ways. Oh to find a Dom who could do this is my ultimate dream. What would it be like to be fully captivated by a Dominant again, a Dominant that wants to make me his always.

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