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| I've got myself listed as a switch but I've been leaning more dominant lately. I have some experience in the lifestyle but wouldn't call it a ton or claim to be a master. I'm looking to have some fun and gain friends and experience. I don't take myself too seriously and can be a goofball. I'm definitely open to being in a relationship again but I'm not going to force it.
I'm an open book, so if you want to know something about me feel free to ask.
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I just entered a contest on called Sit on Kinky Santa's Lap! If you're a member of the site you get to enter in to win kinky fun things! Yay!
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Dreaming of a home-made dungeon.... i just can't seem to stop thinking about building our own bdsm and sex equipment. Benches, tables, cages, sex chairs, things that are good to tie me to, etc. i have the ideas, i think i have the skills to put some things together and have it look at least halfway decent. Now all i need is a work space, a shit load of tools, and some free time....shit. i've actually thought of starting a kind of business out of it too. putting up ads on craigslist an ebay and sell my home-made furniture to people. It would be cheaper for them, and would still make me a profit. i'd just have to make damn sure i made it well, because i would really hate to have to go to court to defent the integrity of chair with a dildo sticking out of it. the materials aren't bad, any tricks i'd need are fairly easy to learn if you can practice. I can also get away with using some less expensive tools if i have home depot cut large pieces down before hand, but a bandsaw is a hard one to get around. i haven't quite figured out what to do about needing access to a bandsaw... Oh well, i guess for now i play the waiting game until i can make it happen. Boo, that is all. P.S. Sorry for taking so damned long to write something Miss. :-)
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i'd just really like to say that it's very annoying that CM won't let me make paragraghs so my entries are easier to read!!!!
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Ok, so i was reading a post from a female sub. She asked the age-old question of why do men and women fued over who the dominant gender is.
The first person to respond had a really interesting view on it, and the only thing i would like to add is that i believe my Miss is superior to me. i don't necessarily believe that absolutely all women are superior, but we've all heard the saying "behind every great man, ..." you know the rest. Anyway, here is what the first respondant had to say:
"It's a strange question, and not one you can really nail with a simple single answer. from a simple physical, anatomical view, men feel like they are dominant because (on the average) they could beat the living snot out of women-muscular structure and so forth. It's not enlightened, but the fact of the matter is we're not all that far out of the trees at the moment and we're still animals, even we wear watches and drive Hyundais.
In addition, throw in a little testosterone. Which makes us fellas shave our faces on a regular basis an occasionally makes us thump our chests like a silverback gorilla. Once again you may not like it and it may not be "right", but it's science you can't argue with.
Toss in traditional sexual roles as taught by mom and dad to son and daughter, and there you have pretty much the complete "ordinary" package that set up those male/female prototypes.
Now, toss all that out the window here.
Male and female prototypes don't really exist in the BDSM society; ours are chosen, not instinctual roles. There are female and male dominants and female and male submissives, and they serve or are served by any combination of homo, hetero, or bi-sexual preferences. Strange as it might seem, the BDSM community is more advanced in their conception of dominance than the instinctual actions of the nilla community. There are various and sundry reasons why any chosen Dom serves as dominant and vice versa. For the most part however, way down where the rubber meets the road, most who are active in the BDSM community are acutely aware of the equality of both partners, even if they act in what appears to be unequal roles."
Feel free to let me know your opinion!! Thanks for reading all of that.
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Ok, let's try this again.
this entry is about "poly vs swinging". I read a forum post and it caught my eye.
The first question to ask is, is there a difference between the two? I looked at a lot of posts on this where people had varying opinions on it. After you cut through all the opinions and get down to the root of it, the answer is clear. Yes.
Polyamory at it's root is about the emotional relationship. It involves 3 or more people where in all people involved are invested in each other, or where 2 or more subs belong to the same Dom(me). The main focus of this type of situation is the emotional connection and or commitment. I've noticed while looking at the posts that 90% of the time it's female subs who want poly relationships. Or maybe it's that their Doms want more than one girl and they are willing to do anything to make them happy. I don't really know, it's just an observation.
Swinging is generally a sexual or scene type encounter. A main couple will have a scene or sex with a third or another couple. The focus of the main relationship remains within itself. Even in situations where the main couple sees the same other(s) regularly. It's still swinging even if you take the time to get to know the others well and become friends, because you don't become emotionally invested in them. Also, there's no commitment to the others. They can play with whomever they want, and so can the main couple.
As for me, being a male sub, i am very comfortable with swinging, but not poly. i don't need near as much of the emotional affimation with play. A simple "you did very well" is enough for me. Swinging allows my Miss and i to have fun with someone else and She knows that my focus is always on Her. If we were to try poly, i would inevitably have to give a shit about the third person, and that would take attention away from my Miss. With swinging neither of us have to care about anyone else because our encounters are generally a one time occurance. This is just what works best for us. If we had a strictly D/s relationship, i doubt it would be as much of an issue, but that's not the case since we exist outside of BDSM.
I hope this made as much sense as it did in my head. Of course, it could have gotten a little jumbled. This is the third time i've tried to write it.
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I just wrote a really long entry and accidentily erased the whole damn thing. I'm too tired to re-write it now. I'll try again later I guess. grrrrrrrrrrrrr
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ok,
this one's on aftercare. I read a message board talking about the necessity of it.
There were opinions on this that run the gamut. Some thought it was absolutely necessary every time. Others thought it wasn't necessary at all. Most were of the opinion that it is necessary after a really intense scene, but not for all instances.
The biggest thing i noticed while reading this thread was that EVERY sub that replied to the question was female. So intense aftercare with blankets and soft talking, and lots of hugs must really be a girl sub thing. I'm not saying it's not sometimes needed for male subs, something really intense generally needs a softer come-down. It just seems that for girl subs the emotional is the peak, and for male it's the physical. Which makes perfect sense in my mind. A really intense scene for a male sub might require half the aftercare that a lighter scene with a girl sub would. However, this has to be taken on a person to person basis. You simply cannot assume all subs of that gender are the same.
Personally, I like some level of aftercare after get tied to a door and flogged. For me, however, that aftercare could be as simple as a kiss from my Miss, a simple praise on my performance, and a drink of cold water.
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i'd like to entitle this "Ruining it for the rest of us"
I read a post containing a news story, the story goes as follows. A man and his wife who claimed to be involved in extreme bondage for two years had an accident. The man had nipple clamps attached to his wife, and electrical tape over her mouth. They were doing electrical play with a hairdryer cord plugged into the wall. He would touch the wires to her nipples and shock her through the clamps. after doing this several times. She dropped to the floor in cardiac arrest, and could not be brought back.
The husband is charged with involuntary manslaughter and is on bail for 100,000 dollars.
This is both tragic and aggrivating. It's very sad that she died, however it could have been easily prevented had they done just a little research. Electricity 101. Amperage as low as 0.5 across the heart is deadly. Everyone should know, electro play can be done with relative safety, but never EVER ground across the heart!!!! A/C voltage out of a house socket has more than enough amperage to kill. This is why they make TENS units. They are DC voltage and extremely miniscule amounts of amperage. Electricity 201. Voltage ok, amperage bad. The body can withstand a shock of 100,000 volts, as long as there's no amperage. (btw, it's been awhile since i took these classes, so my figures may be a bit off) The point is this guy was an idiot for not learning how to do electro play safely. I fully understand the draw of electroplay, but for your own sake and everyone who cares about you, do some fucking research.
The other thing i would like to point out about this story is the fact that it further distances the vanilla crowd from understanding us kinksters. Easily preventable mistakes and mishapps are what wind up in the news, and make ostricising us easier to the general public. It's all about education. EDUCATION, EDUCATION, EDUCATION. For us on the correct ways to play, and for the vanilla crowd as to the care, preparation, and safety measures we all (hopefully all) go through before, during and after play. i believe that educating ourselves is the first priority, because how are we supposed to convince the vanilla that we're not crazy if we don't know the proper measures first. These are just my thoughts on the matter, good night.
Play safe.
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Celebration!!
I got another piercing. This is the big one that I've been wanting and have been nervous about for at least a year. It's a Prince Albert! For those unaware, it's a ten guage ring that goes in through the urethra and out through the bottom just behind the head of the penis. It was extremely painful. The only other piercing that was that painful was my septum, which is a six guage. I can't wait for it to heal, but in the meantime it means no physical contact whatsoever for at least a week, which sucks. I'm ok with it because the benifits it will bring far outweigh the pain and the non contact. My Miss has alot of fun and torturous things planned for when it heals! I only have one question, am i going to have to re-learn how to masturbate? i'm sure i'll figure it out (smiles), i'm just not sure of the logistics of it yet.
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all in the name of.....
I just have to vent a little. I got my labret pierced yesterday. today I went to eat a sandwich and the back of the stud hooked over my bottom front tooth when I was biting down. It pulled my lip into my mouth took a chunk out of the tooth. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's all. just very frustrating. |
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this is in response to a forum post asking about the possiblity of a kinky B&B. I cannot believe I didn't think of this! What an overly fantastic idea! Instead of meeting with your play partner at a fucking motel 6, you could book a room at a nice bed and breakfast style place that is BDSM oriented. This would be great for people who have to travel to play, and they could feel comfortable and safe. The place could even do slightly differently themed rooms, to cater to different styles of kink. Also, they could have a community dungeon for tennants, if you don't mind slightly more public play with more options as to furniture and things like a cage and a Saint Andrew's Cross. Legal liability would be an issue, so when you rent a room you would sign a waiver, and you would have to sign another one for the dungeon. I also think that since were talking about BDSM, and some things done in the name of kink can be potentially dangerous, each room should have a panic button. This button would immediatly summon a person who is part of a 24/7 staff of people trained in CPR, and other medical emergencies. Even if it's something like a knot won't come undone during rope bondage. Of course, sex would not be allowed in the dungeon, so someone would have to be there while you played. But that would be a small inconvenience to those whose play partners are not readily accessable most of the time. Overall, I think it could work, and be successful. Take this site for example, how many people that live states away from each other would love to play but either don't have the time, or don't have the money to go the full distance? Needless to say at this point, I really like the idea.
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This is my first journal entry. In response to a post about what Dommes are really looking for on the site.
This particular Domme was talking about how most sub men start off a message by saying something really forward about play or sex without introducing themselves first. I think it's inapropriate, but I understand why they do this. I think they do it because they know that Dommes get 30 messages a day and they think they have to make theirs really hot and stand out from the rest to get any attention. I think they also do this because of a misunderstanding. In general, a sub male would like nothing more than for a Domme to message them outa the blue to "Get on your knees!". They may not have been told that this only works one way. From what I've seen Dommes do not respond very well to "Tell me to get on my knees!". Unless of course you are in a close relationship with said Dominant, in which case that may be the dynamic. Probably not untill both parties are comfortable with each other, however.
By the way, i'm still pretty fresh to this myself, so i could be completely talking out of my ass at this point. If this is the case, i apologise to everyone i've offended. She also talked in detail about sub men being confident, themselves, truthful about their kinks and limits, having a good sense of humor and a few other things she values in a sub. i would love to touch on these subjects also, but it's 3:30 in the morning and this is all I can bring myself to type at the moment. If you got this far, thank you for reading. Good day.
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| Age: 23 |
| London,
United Kingdom |
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