i haven't been on in a long time.  found what i wanted and have had no need to be on.  it is hard to believe, but i am lactating for Master now!  he made me give milk.  it is amazing!

i found a local Dom here, talked to him for hours on messenger, and agreed to meet him down the street from my house on friday, april 15th after school for weekend slave training.  my mom thought i was going to spend the weekend with julie, my best friend, and julie agreed to help cover for me.  when he pulled up at the gas station in his white van, my heart was pounding like it was going to jump out of my chest.  he got out, hugged me, and introduced himself; it was our first real meeting, and i felt butterflies in my stomach.  i gave him my cell phone and told him that if julie called he need to talk to her to make sure i would not get in trouble at home.  he agreed, the van door opened, i got in, and he told me to take off all my clothes;  i did.  then i was blindfolded, hands cuffed behind my back, feet shackled, and seat belted in.  that seat was freezing cold!  i can't explain the rush of emotions going through my body then, everything all at once.  it was almost like a dream.  i could not believe this was happening so fast, such intense humiliation, completely different than talking online.  there were some slight second thoughts, but it was too late now.  the van door closed, engine started, and we drove for what seemed forever, probably an hour.  he told me to relax that i would be well taken care of.  for now, he did not want to reveal the location of his home to me and that i would be returned safely to the gas station on sunday afternoon.  the van bumped.  the engine went off.  we had arrived.  i felt a rush of cold air when the door opened.  his hands released the seatbelt and carefully helped me out and stood me on my feet.  the blindfold came off, and we were in a well lit garage.  we talked a lot online about what was expected of me, so i knew to fall down to my knees and kiss the tops of his shiny, black boots; he was very pleased with me.  he took the handcuffs and ankle shackles off and put a collar on me and attached a leash.  i followed him, crawling on my hands and knees through the garage, up the steps and into the kitchen.  there were two large dog bowls labeled 'slave' on the floor.  this is where i would eat and drink for the entire weekend.  he lead me through the kitchen, into the middle of the living room floor, and told me to rest on my knees; "yes Sir", i did, keeping my legs open like we had discussed online, so he can always see my cunt.  out of a black box on the end table came a large silver vibrator that he laid it on the floor between my open legs and instructed me not to touch it.  then he explained that slaves usually have no rights, however, this was my first time.  on the wall was a photo frame that had the word "arizona" printed on it in red letters.  pointing to it he said this is your safe-word.  if you ever want to stop, say this word loud and everything ends, however, using the safe-word is irrevocable and would end our relationship forever.  i agreed, "yes Sir."  with this he said that part of my existence was about to change, like a caterpillar changes to a butterfly, and my new name is "aloes", a special meaning that i would learn later.  my training continued with his explanation that i was owned by him, his private property, and he also owned my orgasms.  i am not allowed to cum without permission first.  with that he reached down, turned the vibrator on, and instructed me to begin masturbating for his amusement, but that i was not allowed to cum.  this was very concerning to me.  i picked up the toy and started teasing myself.  i was already wet and quite aroused by everything.  my pussy eagerly welcomed the sinful toy, and my soft moans quickly became audible in the room.  him watching did not help at all; i love to be watched.  five or ten minutes went by, and i was ready to cum.  this was a sweet kind of torture, resisting the urges my body begged for.  just able to contain myself, his voice rose up, "faster.  turn it up. insert it deeper inside your cunt!"  "yes Sir!", i did as he said.  faster. harder. deeper.  this was too much for me.  i was not going to be able to stifle my orgasm.  my moans where loud as i fought the urge to get relief and defy Sir, but i could not go faster and not.  probably less than twenty minutes after we started, my orgasm exploded, and i am a squirter.  my juice spilled out on to the carpet as i came and quietly sobbed, knowing i had failed.  we had talked about punishment online.  something would happen for my failure to obey.  he sat there quiet for the longest time.  finally, he spoke, "aloes, you have failed me."  i felt as though his eyes were burning holes in me, and i dared not look up.  He tugged on my leash and said, "come to me.  bend over my lap."  sobs escaped from my lips as i stood and slowly walked closer to him, laying my body over his lap.  he again explained the orgasm rule and began spanking me, getting harder as it continued, ten to fifteen swats on each side of my bottom, then pausing to say something.  "when you can learn to control your orgasms, i might consider rewarding you with a hard cock.  you have got to earn that."  then continuing to spank me again, talking, spanking, talking, spanking...  the pain was sweet and terrible all at the same time.  i thought about the safe-word, but wanted this too much.  he disciplined me because he cared about me, like i felt some kind of love that i never knew existed before now.  when the spanking ended, i was bawling like a baby, and my ass was on fire!  he got me up off his lap, hugged me, and marched me to the corner with my hands on head for thirty minutes.  "i will expect you to do better next time.  you have not yet earned the title of slut," he said.  After my punishment ended, i crawled on hands and knees to the bathroom and was allowed a potty break before entering a cage in the back bedroom.  a blanket inside the cage was nice, my new home.  i stayed in that cage for a LONG time, fell asleep with my ass on fire.  strange but i was truly happy.  this is what i have been searching for my entire life, a hole in my soul filled, belonging, someone who really cares about me and willing to micromanage my every move, make me who they want me to be, shape me, mold me, use me to my fullest potential.  :)   maybe more later...

i will not add you as a friend if we have never exchanged mail.

spending the entire weekend with my mentor.  i am so excited!  wish friday would hurry up and get here.

a few observations first no photo no reply.  is that fair?  you can see me. second, no one line mails.  you are not original at all when you say "you are cute i want you to move in so i can train you."  how lame is that?  you obviously know nothing about what is going on here.  third, some of you, always guys, have mailed me four times before i ever read the first message sent. that sends you to the trash automatically.

PLEASE, NOT MORE MAILS RIGHT NOW.  Thank you.

i have had an account here on cm for a few days and have 25 pages of emails to sort through.  please do not send one line mails.  in fact, please do not mail me at all for now.  thank you.

i have been here for all of ten minutes and have over 100 mails, and they keep coming.  i had no idea there were so many people here!