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cyrano2u
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still here...but not alone
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Have you ever met Someone that when they looked into your eyes you felt that They where piercing you right to the very center of your soul. Seeing all your deepest darkest fantasies. You know ... that part of you that you have never shared with Anyone. Yet this Person seems to know them all without your having to say a word. And you feel like you are completely exposed. Was it as if there was a cord of light connecting you to them? And as you went inside and began to ... melt with the warmth of that connection, you felt as though you where looking at your future ... like your future was right in front of you. |
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When something or someone falls from your grasp...dont be sad. For it has just freed your hands to receive something more beautiful. |
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Cant You see that when i find You, ill find me. Oh i need You to know today ill wait for You always. When i find You, ill find me.
Joshua Radin |
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Before i realized there was a word for submission surrender and any real grasp of what it would mean, i dreamed.... Of a relationship where i would feel safe to be totally honest expose my innocence and also my darkest side... Take Someone to my very shame and say this is me all of me and know they would understand and not judge me... Someone i could love with ferocity and never fear they did not feel they deserved to be loved with that intensity... Someone i could lean on and know they would not fall and yet strong enough to be able to grasp my hand when they needed my support....Someone who was a calming force in my somewhat wild and passionate life, someone i could be centered with, focused and yet silly too....Someone i could please and cater to who understood it was a gift not a weakness... Someone who would dominate me, take me, use me, and love me with all his heart...Someone i could trust and respect ... that's just a few thoughts |
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i'm getting to a point of acceptance, of growth. i feel You standing on the other side, watching me intently. When i step forward, it will be because i simply cannot stay still, and devotedly trusting You with no coercion except my sheer need to be a part of You. i keep lifting my foot, and pausing, putting it down tentatively... aching to make that step. It's so close....i feel You inside me. |
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When i offer all that i am, my very essence all that i will come to be. When i promise to accept the path He leads us on, and accept the wisdom He offers me, trust him, strive to honor Him and myself with pride and humility. When i give my unyielding obedience, offer my spirit, my humor, my laughter, so that i may bring laughter and joy into His life. Give Him my body ... to satisfy His every desire, every need every passion be it pain or pleasure...and give Him my weaknesses as well my human frailties honestly... That is a gift to Him, i give that to no other. The fact that He accepts what i offer and cares for it, grows it is His precious gift to me... |
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It is choosing to give up your choice.
Surrendering instead of submission. |
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my goal is to give Him all i am, to surrender my power to Him, to put myself in His total control, knowing He would never hurt me but that He cherishes my strength of character. Slowly i let go piece by piece ... one of the first pieces He asked for and urged out of me was my willingness to surrender my thoughts... He has never misused this trust only used what i have told Him to understand me to strengthen Uus... |
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standing on the edge, head down, eyes searching for His. her eyes meet His and her heart feels Him. she looks to Him questioningly. Daddy if she jumps will You catch her? |
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To my Master, i would like to thank You for everything You have given me and will give me, have shown me, and taught me about You, me and Uus. i would like to thank You for the honor of kneeling at Your feet and the pleasure it has brought to look up in Your loving eyes and realizing this is exactly where i belong. i want to thank You for the smiles and kind words when i have pleased You as well as the stern looks and corrective words when i have not. They have both been a guide to my growing, learning, and pleasing You. Thank You for giving me strength....it is Your strength Sir that keeps me strong. Those strong, beautiful hands of Yours Sir that lift me when i need it or turn me over and swat me when i so need that. Master i want to kiss them after either, because i know both actions are done out of love and caring and out of Your wisdom in knowing what is best for You, me, Uus. Thank You for Your faith and belief in me. Master i often lose faith in myself and my ability to please You. Thank You for seeing my potential, desire, and need to please You and for having the patience to bring that back into my focus so that i may move beyond my doubt in myself and succeed. i know as You look down in my eyes You realize and see everything that i am or ever wil be. Sir it all belongs to You. i know You see the tears of joy when i have pleased You as well as the tears of despair when i have disappointed You. Sir it hurts my heart so badly when i have displeased You. i want to crawl into a corner, curl up and just cry my heart out. But You will not allow me Sir, thank You. You see my pain and those gentle hands take my hand, lift my chin up and direct me to a path that pleases You. And yet Sir, there are times when You place me in that corner. i want to thank You for those times also, for they are a time of introspection and learning for me. A time when i need to just sit and realize the results of my deeds and actions. Master You are so wise. You know exactly how to deal with me in any situation. You have looked into my soul and seen what i am and what i can be and have claimed it for Yours. Oh Master, thank You so much for that. i need to belong to You Sir. i know i am so far from being perfect or what You deserve, but thank You Sir for permitting me to kneel before You. Thank You so very much for giving me that honor. Thank You for Your understanding, patience, guidance, wisdom, honesty, discipline, control, correction and love Sir. my hope is that i bring You even half the honor and joy in kneeling at Your feet that You have brought me in allowing me to kneel here and serve You. i adore You with all my heart Master. Your lil wayha |
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Frustrating....is there Anyone out there that sees the depth this lifestyle holds?  |
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Well He told me we needed a break. Funny thing is i thought that meant He was still my One....until i saw Him with another. His loss. |
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i am His....
I was lost,
You found me.
I was confused,
You showed me.
I was wandering aimlessly,
You took my hand and guided me.
I was crying and scared,
You comforted me.
I was cold,
You warmed me.
My heart was broken,
You healed it.
I was without form,
You molded me.
My life was empty,
You filled it.
My soul was restless,
You gave it peace.
I was dead,
You gave me life.
You have shown me,
Who i am,
What i am,
Where i am,
Why i am,
You have brought life to my very being.
My heart jumps for You,
My mind thinks only of You,
My soul dances for You,
My body yearns to give to You,
I have surrendered to You.
It is all i have to give.
I am all i have to give,
Yes, I now know who i am,
I have found my deepest secrets,
I have met myself,
You have shown me.
And now, my Sweet Crocker, i am Yours.
My heart swells and beats with love for You. My mind, body and soul are Yours. I adore You!! |
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i have found the One i have been seaching for! |
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Well perhaps i have found my One. Time will tell.  |
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| Age: 19 |
| North Germany,
Germany |
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