thiskitten

For those who are curious, yes, finally married! Very excited about it, but still looking for that one person to take ownership of me, particularly my mind. Anyone can command someone's body but when you command the mind you can cause them to willingly give up the body, that's a whole different ball game and one that's been far too long since I've played it. It's been years now, since the last time I was owned, I crave it more than ever. To kneel at his feet, his collar, an extension of his hand encircling my throat at all times, the protocol, the day to day... there are not words for how much I miss it... how I ache for it.

Why is it so hard to find the perfect person? Someone who can respect my husband and the relationship I have with him, but who wants to own me, all of me, to turn me into the creature of perfect servitude I know I can become. To mold me to His will, His desires, His plan for me. To help me grow and achieve my goals, and to achieve the goals He sets forth for me. To love me and baby me when I've been good, to discipline me when I'm not living up to my full potential... This all seems so basic, so core to what, in my mind, any true Dominant wants. The play is fun, don't get me wrong, but it's not what this is all about, it's a side effect, a tool, a training method. Don't you get that? This lifestyle can be so much more...

If you let it.

I've found my search here somewhat frustrating. Everything from people who want a relationship but don't have any clue how to maintain one to people who seem to think that not wanting to play on a first date (or until I get to know you) is unreasonable. Even some who don't bother to make an effort when we meet. I realize this is new to many of you so here's a few tips for meeting someone from the interwebs...

1. If all you want is to hook up, do it with a hooker. Or at least announce that that's what you're looking for. Many of us don't appreciate the game playing.

2. Don't write cryptic messages or ones that are half-assed. If you are interested in pursuing a potential relationship with this person, take the extra few minutes to read their profile through again (yes, again, if you're messaging someone you should take the time to read their profile first, not just look at their pictures) and form a relevant, intelligent and well thought message that states exactly what you want/are looking for out of the message you send.

3. If you do get to the point of meeting someone in person, it's a date. Please treat it as such. Make yourself look nice, shower, do your hair, wear nice clothes and don't take your date to a shithole. Also, be on time or, if you're running late, contact the person to let them know. This is an additional first impression (beyond the one you made online). Now I don't mean you have to take the person out for a fancy dinner in a fancy suit, though, that's certainly not a bad way to go, but if you're meeting for coffee, please don't show up in your gym clothes or if you're meeting for a cocktail, don't meet at a dive bar. Get it? Furthermore, don't be an asshole about scheduling a time or place, offer up when you are free and what part of town you live in so that a mutually agreeable time and place can be set up quickly and easily.

4. Lets say your first date went well... please don't assume that the person your with now wants to go home with you. He/she may be down for that but not all of us are. Even if he/she does got home with you, don't expect a hardcore scene. Many of us need to build a bond and trust before we're ready for that. Take it slow, it'll be worth it.

5. If you are entertaining a guest, I don't care what kind of guest, USE YOUR FUCKING MANNERS! Offer your guest something to drink and maybe a bite to eat, don't turn on the TV and ignore your guest. Feel free to put on some music, but don't turn it up so loud that it makes conversation impossible. Don't piss with the door open. Don't leave while they're at your place, it's awkward 100% of the time.

6. Before you form any kind of actual relationship, have a conversation about everyone involved's expectations. Basically, communicate. It's not that hard and it saves everyone a lot of trouble and potential heartache. What kind of time commitment can each person bring to the table? How about commitment level, if you enter a relationship, are you just dating or does that person lay a claim on you as his/her own? Will you be monogamous? If not, how many other people are we talking? Also, talk about the relationship dynamic and what things you are wanting out of play/scenes. Etc. Just letting things happen and seeing where they lead can avoid the occasional awkward conversation but it can also lead to a lot of drama.

7. If you enter a relationship, maintain it. Maintain contact with the person, continue communication. If it's not working for any reason, talk about it. Nothing will get fixed if it's not addressed. If it's time for the relationship to end, do so like adults, please. If you have anything that belongs to the other person, make sure to at least offer to return it.

These are all very basic and things that I consider common knowledge but apparently, I'm mistaken. So, follow these simple guidelines and be amazed at how much less bullshit you have to put up with.