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It has been far to long since I have written here. I do have some good news to report :) I have had better luck with meeting nice boys. The douche bags are coming less and less now that I screen a little harder then I did before.
Unrelated side note I watched Burlesque (yes that movie with Christina and Cher) and I was actually surprised with how good it was. With all those sexy lingerie it makes me watch to dress up and tease some boys....any takers ;)
I find myself looking for even more kinky and sexy boys. I am looking for boys who are very dirty. Who know how to properly strip tease and get nasty. Boys who can partake in a good role play. Boys who know how to tease when I want them to and who know how to do what i tell them ;) |
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Okay fellow Collar Me members get this! I start talking to some guy that I met on her on chat and we seemed to hit it off quite well. So I ask him if he wants to become my "friend" on yahoo. He says yes. I add him. I then show him my picture and he says: "Wow you look young!" Not something that I thought was bad right.... He then goes on to say you do not look like the intellect who wrote on those journal entries on your profile. Then he adds no offence.
I mean how can that not be offence right? He was basically insinuating that I look like an idiot. Purely superficial. Well needless to say I got him off of my list right quick. Anyways I enjoyed my Christmas and new years it was enjoyable to get together with the family. I hope yours was enjoyable as well. As I sit here writing this journal entry I have bridge over troubled water on by GLEE.
I must say that this whole Glee thing has caught me by surprise. I did NOT think that I would have enjoyed that show but after giving it a change I find that it is one of those guilty pleasures. No one has to know about it right hahaha. It just goes to prove that if you don't think you will like something you cant say you don't until you have tried it. Sounds like that could apply to BDSM hmmm? HEHEH!
Well thats it for now :)
xx |
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Merry 'almost' christmas everyone! |
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If you are going to write to me please include a picture! |
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Another upsetting experience. I am not going to let this one get me down though. I should have learned from the previous ones that when I start to talk to someone and I think it is too good to be true that it is.
I do hope that one day people will come to the realization that I am a person too and deserve to be treated as a person. Yes this type of relationship is a unique but does it need to be treated so differently? I don't think so! |
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Hmm, what to say today? I have met a lot of great people here. Some of which it didn't work out and others where I have developed quite a relationship with. I get enjoyment when a relationship is developed where the two of us enjoy just talking to each other and sharing how our days went. The Internet is good for making friends :)
What I have found though is that I have an increasing desire to hold 'role play' type sessions. You might be asking yourself...what is that? In my opinion Slave and Mistress is one form of role-play but since we are on a BDSM site I do not consider that role play here I view it at the norm. What I am looking for is someone to always assume the submissive side of things but perhaps want to change it up. So for example: As stated over and over again in my journals I like it when people call me mommy. I have yet to find someone who wants to elaborate on that.
So I would say something like pretend you are a child in your room making you bed and your mother walks in asking what you are doing. You would provide an answer, then I would say, "Mommy wants over and reaches in between your legs and grabs your cock" And it would continue on like that. I think role play would really open things up for some people and add an element of fun. Let me know what you think :) |
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Ok might as well post this to clear the air. Online only. |
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*Sigh* What is going on here? I have noticed a steady decline in quality of people. Again am I saying that I am a saint...GOD knows I am NOT. What I am saying is that people are lacking a lot of decency and are plain just acting out of the ordinary.
Now don't get me wrong this website is by far not ordinary but I think you get the general idea. For example: I ask one of my 'slaves' (I will use this term all though I think of him more as a friend) would you be interested in blackmail fun? He responds with yes. I think to myself ok...he would be open to the idea. I then say would you think it fun if I got all your passwords and if you didn't do everything I could leak some secrets. Again...do not misinterpret this I do not force anything upon anyone unless it is consensual!
He says that would be fun. Refuses to give them to me though because he is not in the position at this time to do so. Cool I get that. A couple of days go by and I ask might I see your facebook pictures so that I could get a better idea of what he is like with his friends. He says no because "His whole life is on facebook" Again I get this but I was somewhat hurt.
I get that he would want to keep certain aspects of his life private hence why he might now want to give it to me but then it comes down to trust. Does he trust me? I could totally get it if he said no but then I ask myself why would he be so comfortable sharing all this side of his life with me and sending me pictures and all of that. It seems to me to be a bit of a contradiction if you get what I am saying...
Anyways I was just a bit taken a-back. I then went on to say "So I guess I am just convenient for you?" Then he says "Aren't I convenient for you?" Of course I responded with yes because of course it is nice to have someone there to help you meet your sexual desires but like I have tried to stress in my previous journal entries I CARE about making a friendship with people. I want to be seen as a friend but also a mistress when the time is right. Ultimately this isn't happening. I think I may have lost another one. Pity. |
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Feel absolutely horrible. Just had another person whom I spent time and effort on just decide to walk away from what we developed. All I can say is that it hurts. I would love to type mean things and all that to vent but I am just not that type of person. I just wish that people would be more trusting. It is especially frustrating when you try to help people and give them advice and things of that sort yet still find yourself coming up short with everyone. 'Jack' you will be missed but things always happen for a reason. |
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**Erratum**
Previously posted on my profile were a set of rules listed below in previous journal entry. The following new set of rules shall take precedence over the previously indicated rules.
The new set of rules are:
1) Be a male.
2) Enjoy being told what to do.
3)Be under the age of 40 (exception is if you posses exceptionally good looks)
4) Have a web-cam.
5) Have a microphone (not required)
6) No short term controlling (only long term)
7) Possess the ability to hold a conversation that is not just sexual in nature.
8) Have experience of 1 yr (If in the event you are new seeking control, please specify why I should take you on)
9) Possess little or no body hair (In the event that you are hairy, you will be asked to shave or maintain your body hair)
10) Enjoy all things anal.
11) No cross-dresser's (Unless willing to not cross-dress during our session).
12) Upon being accepted as my slave I expect you to be erect on command.
13) Ejaculate only when told to do so.
The previous set of rules are hereby nullified and will henceforth be removed from said profile. For those who need further clarification of the rules do not hesitate to contact me specifying which rule you are questioning.
Should you find yourself in a predicament over the rules note that no exceptions will be made other than the ones already indicated to you. |
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Well, It looks as though things are changing here. I am getting a lot less messages and more and more of the messages are people who want to waste my time.
Again I am no saint and I am not the best person but when I send them a message and actually want to start something I expect at least something. Know what I mean?
I was just recently reading over my journals here and I noticed one commonality...most of them are about things that I don't like [more commonly I use the word hate.] Recently what I have also noticed is that people don't care if they blind side you. For example I was speaking with some people for quite some time then one day we had a discussion an exchange took place and basically I was dropped like yesterdays news. NOT COOL!
Now like I said I don't mind if that is something you want to do but at least talk to me about it or give me the opportunity to make things right. Alot of "this" and by this I mean cyber interactions have become so heartless. That is why I stress the need to have it like a relationship.
No okay you don't need to fall in love with me, or buy me gifts that's not what I mean. What I mean is more of a mutual respect for each other. Do you think that just because I am on the other side of a computer doesn't mean that I invest time and emotion in to talking to you? Think again.
I've been having many of the people that talk to may say I love you or things of that effect. Flattering it really is. But what I want to caution new people is. I am a nice person I will get to know you and your life and be there for you like a best friend. But there are guidelines which we will have to follow. Again this is not negative but as with all friendships there has to be boundaries that need to be respected. I hope to hear from you soon!
xxx |
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Just discovered 'Adiemus' music. How amazing. |
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There are times when people say things they don't mean. There are times when people will be mean and some think that when you anger someone what they are saying is actually the truth just waiting to be said out-loud. The anger was just the catalyst to spur it on. If that is the way we as society thinks that doesn't leave much room for actually loving people much less showing them that you care. Sometimes when you have a best friend that is the only person you can be brutally honest with. Sometimes the things that they say will hurt but if you can work through those situations then you know that you can work through anything. |
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Don't you just hate it when......
You invest time in to someone or something and then all of a sudden things seem to fall through. The problem when I meet new people or I start a new project is that I devote to much time and effort in to whatever 'it' may be. People should learn from me and what they should learn is people only want to fuck with you. You show them a kind hearted person and they will take advantage and fuck you over. Is that surprising. Not anymore it isn't. What surprises me is my continued ignorance towards the situation. |
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Finally on yahoo. User name Sxcontroll5@yahoo.com Oh and by the way if you dont have a cam and are not submissive don't waste your time adding me. Thank you. |
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"You're talking way too much
You tell me one more time how I should live
I swear I'll bite your head off
I am who I am And I can't be no one else
You got nothing left to say
Keep your comments to yourself"
---These are lyrics to a song that remind me of how some people feel about this whole lifestyle:P
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Why waste your time here. You don't know how many people have expressed interest on being a sub then just crap out half way through. Although there may be people like that on this site there are always those who are willing to do anything and have fun with it too. That's why you should continue on here. There are those who are diamonds in the rough. |
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Don't you just hate it when you keep getting messages from the same people and it is just a 'canned' message. I don't mind the canned message but at least have the decency to remember that you have already sent me that message and that I responded and that you didn't. I hate when people do that! |
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What will GRAB YOUR ATTENTION: UPDATE:
You may NOT message me if you are over the age of 42 unless you are good looking, and have stayed in shape.
Now don't get me wrong all the other people who may be over the age of 42 and not in shape. I have nothing against you personally however I do not wish to pursue a relationship of any kind with individuals are the above noted age. Understand and accept it. Thanks ! |
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It's been a little over a month since I have written in my blog here. So here is a bit of an update. I don't know how many people can relate but don't you find it repulsive when people tell you only what you want to hear? I mean sometimes it is nice to be validated but I find that most of the times it leaves a feeling of disgust. More specifically what I mean is when a man will say 'yea baby, anything for you' etc yet they never follow through on what they say! Have they not heard of just saying the truth. I think thats the issue today people are afraid to say what they really think therefore leading the other party on although it may not be intentional. The world needs a bit more honesty and a lot less of the lackluster people. |
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I just hate it when someone will ask me whether or not they can be my slave when they have not even invested the time in looking over my profile to see what I have written. Okay...I am not saying that you need to read all my journal enteries becasue I know it's a lot of writing and it might be to difficult to get through :P But when you see something in CAPS or bold I would expect people to take note and understand/ obey the request that has been made. If you want to submit you need to know how to take orders and if you can't follow the first order that I have requested then how can you obey at all? Thats the better question to be asking youeself. |
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ok again, no picture no response! READ IT! |
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Alright...looks like I need to make another post. In order to cut down on the people who are not looking for a true submissive role do NOT message me unless your willing to submit entirely. In my profile you will find all the info you need to know. If something is not listed then feel free to ask. But to message me and say what are you in to seems a bit useless to me.
Oh yes and...*no picture, no response. So include one if you want a reply* |
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So what I want to know is what really sets you apart from all the other guys out there who desire to be controlled? I'll tell you what sets me apart. I am a perfect blend of vanilla and chocolate. A true mistress needs to know that her man doesn't want to be emasculated when he is out with his friends but she needs to know how to assert her dominance over him in even those situations. Interested to know more? Or just pissed off that I write about myself here? Either way I got your attention! :P |
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I guess I should clear this up now for all of you who are wondering. Sure this may get me less 'hits' on my profile but does it matter? No. I do not have a webcam, I have pictures that I will share with those who earn them. If you are a slave who does something then demands a picture then your not the guy for me. I want someone who wants to earn then and knows their place. I play fair, I don't play cheap. I have adapted the lyrics to Britney Spears song Circus [all rights reserved] it sort of sums up my attitude:
"There's only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain, subserve, Well baby, I'm a put on a show kind of girl....All eyes on me in the center of the ring,
Just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip,
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watching me, follow me,
Show me what you can do....."
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