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Lixx
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| That video was filmed nearly 2 years ago.
Currently I'm not seeking anything in particular. I do love meeting people, so feel free to invite me out. You must have Zero expectations...if you make advances before getting to know me, you'll lose my interest all together.
*I don't have any interest in online chat*
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my first fantasy...
When I was about 11 years old, I watched the 1990 version of Lord of the Flies. If you haven't seen it, it's about a plane full of english boarding school boys who wreck on an uninhabited tropical island. All of the adults on the plane are killed and the boys are left to fend for themselves. The ages of the boys ranged from 7-16. The two eldest were very attractive. One was a dark haired do-gooder...the other an arrogant blonde (who was slightly more attractive). I had trouble deciding which I thought was more appealing based on personality and looks. I ended up choosing the blonde.
In my fantasy I am a native island girl. I see them crash and watch them for weeks in concealment. I imagined delicate flowers and a small cloth outfit affixed to me. I fixate on the blonde...watching him all waking hours. At first he is unaware of this. One day he catches me watching him. None of the other boys are aware of this discovery. He pursues me through the jungle...this goes on for days, weeks.
He catches me, tricking me into a net trap.
He takes me to his isolated camp and keeps me in a bamboo cage.
At first he is mean...not necessarily cruel, but he is cold and will do the bare minimum to keep me alive. He taunts me with food and freedom. When he feels I can be trusted he gives me increasing amounts of freedom...keeping me on chains rather than in the small cage. As I become more trained he becomes sweeter to me. He grooms me and touches me...throwing in a little hair pulling or slapping when I'm not listening. But he is softened by me, he wants to be affectionate.
He continues this training until he knows I will not run, that it is my desire to be by his side. The chain is exchanged for manacles. He trains me to serve his dinner and yes, he slowly exposes me to his sexual needs as well. (being 11 years old meant that my fantasy was limited in that regard)
He informs the other boys that there is something they will all want to see. Back at his camp I had set up a beautiful primitive table with roast hog and fruits. I serve him in front of the awestruck schoolmates. They look at me, longingly... all wanting their own, or perhaps just to share.
This is as far as the fantasy went.
It remained my top fantasy for years.
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I am a vaginally focused individual. Please note that I Tolerate anal play. I get little to no satisfaction from the activity other than pleasing my partner. I see it as an activity that is done on occasion to throw in some intensity and to further establish who wears the pants.
I love my pussy.
I am highly attracted to men who prefer pussy.
This will not change.
If you're Not the kind of guy that really likes putting his cock inside of a pussy, we will not be a match. If you prefer anal sex. Pass me by...you're not what I like. |
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Extreme Dollification...plastic surgery
When I first began my search for a partner I was uncertain of what I was looking for. I had very little ideas about who I was in the lifestyle. I spent most of my time chatting to audiences of 400 or 500, camming on a competitors BDSM dating site. I spoke to a large variety of kinksters and lifestylers, each wanting something entirely different from the next.
One man sent me a private message which discussed wanting to alter my physical appearance, beyond the typical Dollification I had read about or seen. He described, in detail, how he wanted to fix me. I was positively insulted...especially after seeing the man's appearance.'How dare he go so far', I thought.
Now, I had no particular attraction to this man, nor the Kink he presented beyond this concept...but his ideas of making me perfect cling in my mind to this day. In honesty, I would love to have someone perfect me. If I could find a mutual goal for this with someone I would be delighted to follow through with this.
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A Note on Attraction
Attraction is a prerequisite for the conversation to go anywhere. We all know it...this is a sex forward lifestyle.
This concept may upset you. None of us like to find out that we are Not the Fairest of them All...myself included.
That's life.
However this isn't a competition to me. Although it may be to you. I am not looking for the best person as chosen by a popular vote. I'm looking for the best partner for me.
I have a wonderful intuition and I go with that.
It's not about me thinking I'm better than you.
People are like beverages. There's nothing wrong with beer. There's nothing wrong with wine. There's nothing wrong with fruity drinks decorated with umbrellas, served in coconuts. I just happen to be a Capt and Diet drinker. It's simply my preference. |
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A wonderful Journal written by TrueCommander74 (CollarMe)
"The relationship that exists between a Daddy and a baby girl is one that is so interwoven between the two, there is a merging of needs and wants and satisfactions that become the sustaining life force that is the Daddy/baby girl dynamic. Because there is so much focus that has to be concentrated and maintained this type of relationship tends to be very intense and often magnifies most basic emotions. In order for the baby girl to surrender and open herself up she has to trust that her Daddy can keep her cradled inside Him as she grows and heals and becomes. She has to know that because in order to fully give herself over to Him she has to be open and vulnerable and raw all the time. Knowing that her Daddy shields her exposed soul as He coaxes it?s beauty to radiate from within. As He loves her as she?s never been loved before. As He protects her with a fierceness known only by someone consumed with the passion and wisdom to Own and possess another person. A delicate little baby of a woman because as We know, incest has nothing to do with the BDSM Daddy \ little girl relationship.
Baby girls are intricate beings. They are full of puzzles, some more complex than others, but each one is a challenge the Daddy meets head on because it?s another opportunity for Him to show the depth of His love. The depth of His passion. Another chance to open up His baby girl a little more and expose more of her to the world and let her bathe in it. Another chance for Him to be her Hero. Her Champion, her Conqueror, her secret keeper and her Defiler.
His passion in the things He does to her reveals how very much He worships this bundle of light and joy He has been gifted with. In every way He touches her, whether it's harsh or sweetly, He's able to erase every single touch or caress that has ever glanced her body leaving ONLY the memory of His touch imprinted everlastingly on her skin. He becomes all she knows. All she remembers.
She becomes his little virgin again even as He fills her up and it's a prize that He gets to claim over and over again. And every night when she falls asleep being rocked next to His being she becomes closer and closer to being only and ever His. Being born from Him in this way. And in this way living solely to be his light.
DADDY |
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What was once before you - an exciting, mysterious future - is now behind you. Lived; understood; disappointing. You realize you are not special. You have struggled into existence, and are now slipping silently out of it. This is everyones experience. Every single one. The specifics hardly matter. Everyone's everyone...
As the people who adore you stop adoring you; as they die; as they move on; as you shed them; as you shed your beauty; your youth; as the world forgets you; as you recognize your transience; as you begin to lose your characteristics one by one; as you learn there is no-one watching you, and there never was, you think only about driving - not coming from any place; not arriving any place. Just driving, counting off time. Now you are here, at 7:43. Now you are here, at 7:44. Now you are...
Gone.
Quote: Synecdoche, New York (2008)
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Some Music:
Beck, Belly, Bjork, Bob Marley, Chris Issak, Erykah Badu, Explosions in the Sky, Gypsy Kings, Jamiroquai, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Joanna Newsom, Julie Cruise, Led Zepplin, Leonard Cohen, Le Tigre, Macy Gray, Morphine, Mr. Bungle, NIN, Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Portishead, Primus, Radiohead, R.E.M, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rollingstones, Southern Culture, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Stevie Ray Vaughan, St. Germaine, Sublime, The Cramps, The Cure, The Damned, The Doors, The Inkspots, Tool, Tom Petty, Tori Amos
Any MTV Unplugged
and more... |
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About my interest in Age Play:
I like the general dynamics of Daddy/daughter play. I, quite frankly, have Daddy issues and I look for someone safe to resolve that. I am not seeking a therapist, but rather someone who lets me sort my things out while supporting me. I seeks a mentor, a leader, a nuturer and provider, a spoiler, and an all around super fun guy.
I don't require constant monitoring or attention. Neither of us have enough real time for that. I do enjoy thinking about a Master monitoring via webcam when we had to be apart. I still like having some autonomy though.
I do need a certain amount of time with this individual (so you should have time for me.
I am a natural little girl...I have a big part of me that loves to play and be silly. I have never done r/t ageplay so I am basing this off of my ideas about the relationship. I would like Daddy to be a skilled taskmaster. I enjoy following orders but I like there to be an increasingly growing set of chores rather than an immediate burden list I can't execute. Gradually but effectively he would have me at my very best. If Daddy shows me acceptance, I'll perform at a much higher level. When I'm being naughty, spankings, mouth-soapings, cornertime, and more work for me.
Again I've never played in r/t so I'm guessing some of my interests on a hunch. However, I love outings (such as the zoo), feeding, story time w/ Panda cookies(a creative story teller could charm the pants right off me), bathing, hiking (maybe father/daugher camping?), and taking naps together. Clothing choice is very appealing, but I'd like to feel comfortable in the selection.
I'm a Urophiliac...I like pants peeing. I'm more into training pants than diapers. I enjoy the cloth and the trimness of the pants. I do not consider myself a DL. I do enjoy the freedom of pissing myself, however. I would be open to Diapering for a portion of the time.
Not Interested in Pedophilia whatsoever. I am protective of children. If you would actually live this fantasy out with a minor, Do not write me |
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I am looking looking for a Fairy Tale.
This is actually very fitting...
My ideal mate is Fictional...imagined. Often I think I'm searching for something that doesn't exist.
Many of the men that I am most interested in, are in a Land Far, Far Away.
This search is a bed time story as it is thoroughly exhausting.
As they say, a good man is hard to find. Mine is particular and therefore even harder to find. He is a champion, a hero, a defender of good...someone to admire. He is brave, tenacious, and inspiring. He is also a bad, bad man ;)
My One is elusive...mythical...
He waits around every corner, disappearing before I may get a peek of Him.
Sometimes I speak to a guy, and I think...'there are possibilities here'. And then "poof", gone. This is nearly an expected event. I'm sure people reading this can identify, to some degree.
Hell, I've disappeared on people too.
Sooner or later, reality comes in. It either exposes the truth and changes our impression of one another or it uncloaks a lie, a fake.
The hunger drives the search onward though. The hope of a new day, a new corner where He is waiting around the other side.
It would be nice to be an evil genius doctor...like Frankenstein...
To take bits and pieces from this one or that one...and stitch the parts into one creation. This laundry list of necessary parts is my little obsession. He is always on my mind, even if only in the corners.
I'm not sure if I believe in Happy Endings. Should I?
Do you?
I am not in the image below
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Male profiles with pictures of their ex-girlfriends or past one night stands is unappealing to me.
Mainly this is because I'm not interested in seeing them, but rather I'd want to know what you look like.
Also, I see a collection of ladies pics on a profile and think "I don't want my photo in that group".
If I see female pics on the profile I probably won't be interested...
if after speaking you'd like to show me some of your creative work, I'd like to see it.
Just consider why you looked at my profile...and whether you would have been interested if I had photos of dicks all over it. If you would like to see dicks on my profile, we're not a match. To each there own, may we all find someone that fits that. |
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I know that my age limits of 25-40 may be frustrating. However, if you're well over that age range, please respect that I have specific things I'm looking for.
Consider this:
I am 30 years old. Subtract my age from yours then add the difference of my age to yours. For instance if you are 50 years old then this would mean the age other the proposed partner would be 70.
Would you want to date a person of that age? Perhaps if they were very healthy and really attractive... right? But more than likely you'd want someone more near your age (and often many of you would prefer much younger than your age).
I filter mail that is outside of my age range... I don't have the energy to send the same automatic response regarding this preference so many times.
I truly wish you all the best of luck
s.s.s. |
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Pretend Pregnancy...
This fantasy of mine begins literally from conception. If I found a permanent partner I would love to act out the whole event. It's a hybrid of a breeding fantasy as well as something sweet and loving.
This would include:
Continual internal ejaculations with my partner declaring their intent. Breast pumping and Lactation. Physical examinations and ovulation prediction. Wearing adorable maternity clothes and being treated in a precious manner. Late night cravings and a mans head on my belly.
This is both a sexual and non-sexual interest. It would satisfy me psychologically on various levels. It is a truly special act for me. In this deed I would be treated as a submissive but especially prized.
I choose this as a play activity because I am unsure if I actually want children. Having a family sounds appealing at times... and other time it does not. Having a realistic understanding of consequences is crucial in this instance.
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Duality is extremely appealing to me.
Those who consider themselves to be a "True Dominant" won't be of interest to me. I have many sides and need someone who can explore most of them. I want to find another's vulnerability so that I may share more of mine.
Additionally I don't follow some book of rules about behavior and "how things should be". That is for my partner and I to decide.
Also, the Vanilla connection must be there. I am fairly intelligent. My partner must be at least as smart as me...although I prefer them to have a slight upper hand.
They must enjoy teaching and be patient...or try to be.
They must be kind, but not pushover.
They must be affectionate verbally and physically (a complimenter, someone who uses pet names, a cuddler, kisser, hand-holder etc).
I prefer them to want children, but just being open to the possibility is fine initially.
I like a moderate level of autonomy and some privacy.
Similar taste in movies and music is divine.
Oh and I love nice teeth.
Is this goal Impossible? Maybe.
Is it worth looking for and waiting for? Definitely.
I have no choice but to keep looking for this ideal. I may spend eternity searching...and I guess I've accepted that. I will do nothing short of that, because I must look for my soul mate.
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| Age: 21 |
| Qeuzon city,
Philippines |
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