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switchmaster47

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Friends:
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Hello to all that are into the life style have been on this site a few years ago and really never found anyone real or that wanted to enjoy the lifestyle with me . I have been in the life style for over 17 years and have enjoyed it to the fullest . I have meet some great dom's and mistress and hope to find the one that is willing to enjoy the life style with me . I will say this I'm not one that is into games when it comes the the BDSM life style and you should not be as well most of us that are truly into the life style does not take it lightly when someone acts that there really into it and they are truly not. I started out in the life style as a sub and worked my way up to becoming a dom so I guess I can say that I have enjoyed both sides of the life style. Well if you wish to know more about me feel free to email me and we can talk and see where it leads.

10 THINGS A DOMINANT NEEDS FROM A SUBMISSIVE

1. Know your Responsibilities.

Dominants have responsibilities. We hear a LOT about that in our community. We have the responsibility to be forgiving and understanding. We have the responsibility to be strong and independent. We have the responsibility to be wise and patient, and to be controlled and in control of ourselves and our partners. We have to accept accountability for whatever happens with the submissive. We have the responsibility to take responsibility (and accountability) for both our actions, and (often) our submissives’ actions.

Well, submissive responsibilities exist too. (No, not “suck my dick daily” kinds of responsibilities. Those are play rules, or relationship kinks.) Responsibilities in submission are supposed to include communication with your Dominant. Having patience with the relationship. Working to build trust with your partner. And having realistic expectations of the relationship, while understanding the meaning of discretion when things need work. You know…all the stuff below?

2. Remember Patience?

Patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace, and grace is a little girl…

When you start dating someone – you don’t ask them to marry you the first week out. Nor the first month, or (hopefully) the first year. So why are you in a rush to be “collared” immediately? Why is there this pressure to invent a myriad variety of “collars” to validate every single status change in the relationship? Date. Hang out. Talk.

The same with fetishes. I understand you are a HUGE anal slut. But let’s build up to that. Yes, I can probably put together a scene with 23 different ass sensation toys, and a half dozen different positions, with FancyRopeWork (tm). But why? Let’s share other experiences. Let’s learn each other before moving into what should be a permanent relationship.

It takes time before a dominant becomes YOUR Master. It takes time for us to learn your little idiosyncrasies. It takes experience to recognize your body language, and to be able to intuit your fears and your feelings. There will be false starts, and stops, and pitfalls, and awkward situations. If you actually want a relationship with your Dominant…be realistic about it. (see #3)

Expecting us to immediately rock your world…it happens sometimes. But most of the time, it takes time and effort before we know you well enough to really rock out.

3. Have Realistic Expectations.

You aren’t perfect? Well, neither am We. We’re learning every day. A good Dominant (one who will eventually be worthy of the title “Master”) is constantly working on those imperfections, through self-help, personal exploration, educational classes, and reading. Expecting a 29 year old to pay for all your dates, have a fully equipped dungeon, be the perfect boyfriend, help pay your rent when you’re behind, god-like lover, and be a Master-of-All-Toys is, frankly, naive.

It takes a lot of work to build a relationship - and that relationship has to be built from both ends. We understand that you are sacrificing a lot when you surrender your body - often, so are we (see #9). We are as giving as we can be of our time, our money, and our emotions. It hurts us just as much when we’re dropped, dumped, manipulated or lied to. But, you may have noticed, we don’t have “Dominant support” groups, by and large. So while you’re risking more of your body and heart on the front end – we’re risking a hell of a lot of our soul and our mind on the back end.

If we’re with you, and making an honest effort…respect that. We respect you (even when we’re calling you cunts while whipping your ass) for your ability to take pain and suffering and then turn it into something amazing. We recognize your talents and efforts. Please, recognize ours.

4. Consistency.

It’s a real roller coaster ride to have a submissive who is one person in the morning, another at night, and a complete third when she skips her meds (see #7). And roller coasters are fun…but they don’t make for great daily activities.

We’re going to do the best we can to enforce the rules consistently. To respond to your needs as much as we can, when we can. To be the same Dominant on Monday that we are Saturday night. What we ask in return? The same thing from you. Make the effort (see #9) to follow those rules. Don’t give us the A#1 effort Saturday night at the party, and then just coast on the relationship for the rest of the week.

There’s something to be said for a sub who is the same Monday through Sunday in her level of devotion, her level of commitment, and her level of caring. We honestly don’t care if that level is low, medium, high, or barely existent. We’ll work with that – that’s what a Dominant does. We motivate, we train, and we guide. But if you’re giving us a different persona and a different level of submission every other day… the greatest Master in the scene couldn’t deal with that 24/7. Neither can we.

5. Discretion within the relationship.

Yeah, so. Going online and chatting in a slaves group, or on , about how your Master doesn’t scratch your itch, or how you’re so disappointed he didn’t do SexyMoveA#1 last night? That’s not cool. We don’t (believe it or not) go around gossiping with every Dominant we know about how tight your ass was last night, or how funny you looked sobbing after an emotional edge play scene. Please have the same courtesy - don’t assume that just because you’re the submissive, you can talk about anything in our relationship that you want to and call it “submissive sharing”. If you have a genuine issue in the relationship - we should be the first person you talk to about it. Not your online friends. See #10 about that.

This is not an endorsement of abuse. If you are being abused (physically, emotionally, financially, psychologically, sexually, etc.), for the love of God, go to your local shelter. Your nearest victim advocate. Or the closest police station.

But please bear in mind – below that particular level? Relationships will always have problems…talking to your partner solves a LOT of them.

6. Trust. (No really, actual trust, not “earn it or else” trust)

No, this doesn’t mean trust me immediately from word one. That would be insane.
But this ties in with #8 and #9. You’ve heard the old adage “trust takes time”? Well, trust also takes effort. And communication (see #10). From both parties. Trust is a two way street. If your Dominant has to constantly prove that he’s worthy of your trust, then why are you with him?

I was once with a woman who had me convinced that it was a Dominant’s job to constantly be earning and re-earning trust. I heard the mantra of “a Master /earns/ trust” at least once a day. The entire relationship was one long marathon of constant effort to “earn” her trust by doing everything she wanted, and never disagreeing with her. It took a slap ‘round the head and shoulders by a senior Dominant and very trusted friend before I realized that I was being used.

7. Sanity.

This is a no brainer. But unfortunately, it rarely gets spoken of in our lifestyle. If you have depression, bi-polar, manic episodes, or have been described by previous friends, dominants or family members as a “wild and crazy” type…the odds are that you, in fact, need therapy. Possibly medication. There’s no shame in that – a HUGE percentage of people in this modern world have psychological issues that need to be addressed with pills or therapy. Please seek it BEFORE approaching a dominant. We, in return, will attempt to do the same for our own issues. Entering deeply emotional and effort-related relationships should be done AFTER the mental health issues are addressed and under control.

8. Stop Recycling the Past.

Your last Dominant hurt you. Or didn’t measure up. I understand that, personally. My last submissive didn’t either (see #7). But that said…this is us, starting fresh. I certainly want to know if your last Dom was abusive, hurtful, or cruel. You need to know if my last submissive was, too. That’s part of the whole “communication skills” thing in #10 and it will affect how we interact. I do NOT, however, need to hear a daily address list of the A-Z of everything you ever disliked about him…or a weekly update on how I compare to him. Considering that I probably don’t do any of the former, and don’t care about the latter. This is a new relationship. You wouldn’t enjoy me constantly comparing you, out loud, to my last girl. You wouldn’t enjoy an intimate partner constantly comparing you to their last lover. I don’t enjoy it either. Keep the past, in the past.

9. Honest Effort and Understanding.

You want us to know how hard submission is? Well, we want you to know how hard Domination is. We have to think in three dimensions about the emotional and psychological impact of everything from our tone of voice to our tools, from our clothes and cologne to our cock and cunt hair. It’s exhausting at times, and just like submissives…sometimes we burn out. Sometimes we’re too tired to be SparkleMasterLeatherDom/me. And just like we are expected (by our Dominant brothers and sisters, if not by our submissives) to be consistently understanding and supportive of slaves rights and feelings…we deserve a little consideration ourselves.

10. Communication Skills.

Domination AND submission. Master AND slave. Top AND bottom. Please note the “and”. You AND me. Kenova AND Cassie. Snowy AND Toy. The “and”? That has a lot of meaning. It means that just as much as you expect us, the Dominants, to communicate with you about your training and performance…we expect the same. We deserve the same. If you have concerns - you need to talk to us, not post it on . If you feel hurt, you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your Dom, not slam them to all of your friends. If you honestly believe that your Dom has problems? Talk to them about it. Be a big girl/boy/boi/slave/slut/whore/bottom/queer/toy/androgyne.

LOOK IF YOU DO NOT HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY THEN STAY THE HELL OFF MY PROFILE IS THAT UNDERSTOOD !!!! SO TIRED OF ALL YOU FAKE ASS PEOPLE THAT CLAIM YOUR IN THE LIFE STYLE HELL MOST OF YOU ALL HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE LIFE IS ABOUT ALONE BEING REAL !

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3/11/2014 10:29:42 PM

GENERAL

  1. I will always be honest and respectful to Master. Even when I think he’s in the wrong, I will be respectful in my tone, actions and mannerisms. I will even try to keep my thoughts respectful.
  2. When serving Master I shall:
    • Kneel before Master, head down, eyes down, and await Master’s approval of my gift or offerings.
    • If around others I will stand and await Master’s approval that my service has pleased him.
  3. When speaking with Master, I am to look him in the eyes. My focus is important to my growth and service.
  4. I am always in submission to my Master whether He is present or not, ready to please Him at any time, in any place, under any circumstances, regardless of who may be present. For the opportunity to submit and to please is by far more important and satisfying than any other pursuit.
  5. I will wear the collar Master gave me with pride, for it signifies his ownership of me and my devotion to him.
  6. I am allowed to make friends with whomever I choose, so long as that friendship is not toxic. If my friendship with someone changes my behaviors, mannerisms, other relationships for the worse, then Master may tell me to either limit my time with that person, or cut them out altogether.
  7. Above all else, my primary focus should be to please Master. Whether it is in the manner in which we raise our daughters, the selections I make when out to eat, the way I handle myself in any given situation or the way I address others, my goal is to be please Master and make him proud of me.
  8. To receive pleasure I must earn it.
  9. I trust Master. I trust his skill, his concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual and physical heath. If at any point I find that I do not trust Master in all of these areas, I am to bring my concerns to him. This relationship is built on honesty and trust and if one of those things fails, the entire relationship is at risk of failure.
  10. I must always give thanks to Master for all I am given, immediately after receiving what he has given me. This includes gifts, privileges and punishments.
  11. I will confess any transgressions I may have made to Master and he will decide if such violations require punishment. I must accept whatever decision he makes and thank him for his choice.
  12. Crying and the shedding of tears is not a sign of weakness. My tears soften my will and bond me closer to Master. I am not to hide in shame when I cry.
  13. It is important for me to eat plenty of carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins in the foods and fluids I am permitted to choose to nourish my body and mind, and to exercise my body regularly, as permitted by my Master, to increase my physical strength, to keep my limbs as flexible as possible, and to maintain or improve my figure so I may be able to endure my Master’s use of me however intense and for however long a period is required by Him. I want to be of a healthy and sound mind and body, free as possible of any personal limitations, when pleasing my Master.
  14. I will always listen with a strong interest in whatever my Master has to say during my training. I want to learn all that I can from Him so I can understand more about Him, about me, about the bdsm scene and community, and those involved in bdsm relationships – so I may be able to better understand the world I am apart of and be able to communicate it accurately to anyone who wishes to know more about it.
  15. I will periodically examine my whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of my relationship to my Master. I will speak to my Master about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where I comfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction I should take, how I should behave, or how I can behave in a manner that is different than how I have been behaving in the past.
  16. I will obey the spirit of the law not just the letter of the law. (For example, if Master says not to run with scissors, I will not attempt to skip with them either.)
  17. My health is important to Master. I am to make regular doctor and dentist appointments for our family to ensure that we stay in the best health possible.
  18. I am never allowed to eat at my desk unless given explicit permission from Master. I am also not to keep snacks, candies or other foods at or around my desk. This is to help prevent me from unhealthy snacking habits. If I am hungry, I am to eat at the table.

ROUTINES

Master will give me a list of tasks that are to be completed by the end of each day. These tasks will vary depending on what Master thinks needs to be done. I am to do my very best to finish all of these chores before doing anything else. The most important chore each day is for me to workout. I am not to skip a single workout without Master’s express permission.

Aside from items on the daily task list I am to do the following every day, without question:

  1. Workout for at least 30 minutes a day. No exceptions unless Master expressly gives them. He will decide if and when I am too ill, too tired or too busy to complete my workouts.
  2. Make a healthy dinner for the family from scratch. I must strive to not make too much or too little. Master will inform me if we are going out to eat instead or if we will have guests over for dinner so that I may plan accordingly.
  3. On school days wake at least 30 minutes earlier than the children so that I can ensure they are up on time, fed and ready for school.
  4. I am to keep a schedule of everyone’s activities and update it often. It is my job to ensure that this house runs smoothly and that everyone gets to their appointments on time and safely.
  5. At least once a week (preferably on the weekends) I am to make a hot cooked meal for breakfast. This does not include such dishes as oatmeal or grits (unless I make grits with bacon, eggs, biscuits and pancakes).
  6. Bed time on weeknights is 11PM. On weekends bedtime is 1AM. Unless otherwise directed by Master.
  7. Every night I must ask permission to sleep in the bed. If Master is out of town, or working late, I must call or message him and ask for permission to sleep in the bed. Even if Master is not at home, I am to be on my knees when asking permission to sleep in the bed.
  8. Every morning I am to get on my knees, by Master’s side of the bed and thank him for allowing me to use the bed. If Master is not home, I am to call or text him my gratitude for letting me use the bed.
  9. In the evening, when Master arrives home from work, I am to make my best effort to greet him by the door in the slave position (position 1). I am to have my head bowed, my hands resting on my thighs and my feet under my ass. I am to wait for permission to stand up after being greeted by Master.
  10. Blog at least 6 out of 7 days a week.

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submissivelittle
 
 Age: 48
 Ontario, Canada