SweetSarijane


SweetDi82 Female Submissive, 20	Sweetness Female Submissive, 27	Sweetann62 Female Switch, 40, Portand, Oregon

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	About SweetSarijane Just here for friends and the boards. I enjoy my time in the forums here reading, learning, offering my views and having fun. I've made several friends here and found local groups and people through here. This site, like anything else, is what you make of it. It's merely a tool among many for reaching out and finding what you want or need. About me: 37 year old submissive and masochist. Mom of 4. I love reading, blogging, listening to music, spending time with friends in and out of the Lifestyle, parties, reading and posting in the forums here, working out at the gym, and shopping with friends when I can. I'm just an average, everyday person with a few quirks. I tend to be rather blunt, teasing and sassy, basically honest, and try to focus on the positives in life rather than dwell on the negatives.

On to November's events. On the 2nd I attended a private play party with a pirates theme. Such a blast. Was lots of laughter and a bit of play. I bottomed on the glider-style spanking horse that night as well as another smaller scene bent over a chair later. Enjoyed watching some creative violet wand play full over laughter and fun.

On the 10th was my group's play party. I was tied down on the spanking horse and the only thing not used on me was actual paddles (inside joke). Sent me flying and then a little while later I got the priviledge of having special hand made, curved, long claws used on me and OMG I soooo melted.......hair pulling was used during it too which just intensified and upped the melt factor.

It helps so much to have wonderful friends and to have an outlet to get my masochistic needs met while I work on my priorities that need to be accomplished before I can get into a relationship. I am focused and staying fairly patient dealing with those things.

Time for some catch up again in my journal here.

The weekend of Sept. 25th was a fantastic one for me. Our group had a campout and finally I got to go to one!

It started Friday and ended Sunday by noon. Some of what I experienced are:

I got a mini back massage and got to watch some cupping done on Friday night.

Saturday I got to see shibari ropework done, massages, floggings and beatings. I played 3 times that day starting with a flogging on a massage table by a couple in early afternoon, then later a brief session with a singletail and after dark I was flogged, strapped, paddled, hand spanked and had my padded bats used on me. Wonderful!!!

I got to see fire flogging that night, but was too tired to volunteer to bottom for it. It was so primal and beautiful to see and it's so on my to experience list!

Most of the women were topless (some in sarongs from the waist down) and at times nude and I was one of them. I loved it. It's a clothing optional campground and that freedom was awesome. There was so much fun, so many wonderful people, and tons more not mentioned here, but I believe I covered enough.

Next year, there are 2 campouts planned and I'm planning on going to both if possible.

Since the campout I've attended 3 other parties and the last one which was around the 10th of this month, after my session on the spanking horse, tied and well played, I got to experience claws/talons and omg omg omg! Wonderful!! I melted! The claws/talons used on me aren't like any I've seen on sm toy sites, hell they're better! They were handmade and beautifully done.

With all the time I've gotten to explore my masochistic side, I have still found opportunities to meet my need to serve and please to a small degree. I know that the time will come when I'm able to finally fully submit, but I have things to deal with outside of wiitwd before that can happen and I am working on those things steadily. I long for the time when I will be able to explore my submissive side more fully, but I will not rush it. I will see to my priorities first and get things taken care of that must come first so that I can focus on those needs within me.

This is shaping up to be a very good month for me. I have a special private party coming up that is an anniversary celebration of some friends and a weekend campout with the main local group I belong to. The party isn't a play party, but the campout is definitely play. Both should be great. I need the get a way too with all I'm dealing with right now. Mini vacation suits me perfect.

It's been awhile since I last did an entry here. Just been so much going on that I haven't had much computer time.

The first week in July, I went to a top friend's house for my first ever private play. Up to that point, I'd always played strictly at the parties. He's the top I usually play with at the parties and knows me very well and can read me. We had a blast. We started with fire play, then wax play, then knife play. Next came the spanking bench and the use of quite a number of implements. We finished off with the singletail and then sat and talked and relaxed.

Last night was a play party. He topped me as usual and it was fantastic. Spanking horse first with floggers, paddles, canes, straps, hairbrushes and more followed by a singletail session on the whipping post.

Met some new members in person and enjoyed talking with them, and chatting with friends. I'm still flying from it all.

Once again, I've gotten to experience new things. Went to a party Saturday night. Had a great time. Long multitopic convo with someone I hadn't seen in a few months. Getting to see another member of our group who left this morning for a 5+ month stint of training/education at a military place in another state.

I co topped, by request of a friend, her boy on violet wand play with 2 others helping us. Such a treat watching a sexy naked man squirming with what you are doing to him.

I bottomed for impact play, which I'm actually still a bit tender from. Included in that play was my first experience of a cat o nine, which has jumped to a fav and a taste of knife play which was awesome. I loved it. I'm still kinda flying from it all.

In talking with the man who topped me (for the first time), someone I've known going on 2 years and seen play many times, after the scene that night, he said he hadn't been holding back with me. He'd used his full force as he does with 2 other masochists he tops.

I was surprised to hear that. He was hitting at my level and slightly above and it was so good. He's a big man and strong and I honestly thought he was holding back. The only holding back he says he did was briefly at the first when warming me up.

In discussion before we began play, I asked if he was ok with using open communication and feedback rather than safewords and he was agreeable to that, and everything just flowed beautifully.

Been awhile since my last journal entry here. In the time since my last entry, I've attended 2 play parties and a fetish night, plus gone with the leader of one of the smaller local groups to get camping supplies for our upcoming campout and fire play demo this summer. I have bottomed at all 3 events and pushed some semi limits turned curiosity at one and had a paddle break on my butt lol. I have another play party coming up very soon again.

My yahoo group is doing great. Some good discussion and bantering. I'm still building it slow and letting people express genuine interest in the group before sending an invite. I'm very specific in what type of group it is and so far have managed to keep trolls and wankers out.

I don't want a fast growing group with tons of members. All too often I have seen how those turn out and in a lot of cases it's pretty ugly. I want to avoid that and have a good group without all the drama and bickering and such of a number of the larger groups.

I'm keeping upbeat and positive and very pleased with things at the moment.

I am so looking forward to tomorrow's party! With all that's been going on lately I so need this. My friends, the laughter and fun and to play, which I will be. I know when I'm there, I will be able to just relax and let go and be safe doing it.

Things are pretty tense at home...a lot to deal with, number one being that a family member has been diagnosed with cancer and it's believed to already be fairly advanced. I am under a lot of stress, having to be the strong one that doesn't fall apart.

I need a good bottoming session so bad and doing it among my wonderful friends will only make it all the better.

I was talking with a friend of mine tonight about the local community, what we're doing, etc. She was pretty down because of a few attempting to spread poison and cause major dissent and ruin anything she and another mutual friend, and all who associate with them, are a part of because they are on the outside, not allowed in because of their own behavior.

We work hard in our groups to keep out drama and those that cause it, that aren't happy unless they are causing it. Our women's fundraiser was a smashing, glorious blast of a success and we are in the planning stages of our next one now. The success of what we are doing has apparently tripped a few triggers.

I think I helped her see the humor and feel better and find a new perspective on it. I hope so. I think we both felt a lot better when we ended our call and we'll see each other this weekend at a group event that we are both SO looking forward to.

Only one of the bigger local organizations is still very active with meetings, demos, events and parties. Our smaller groups are the next most active in the community and they are private groups with membership restricted to non trouble makers. They are both thriving beautifully and I am very happy in them and proud to be part of them.

I have been working on setting up my own D/s discussion yahoo group and am finally to the point of opening it up for members. It's by invitation only and only those who express interest in joining will be invited. I really hope it will benefit those who join, especially those with no local lifestyle community. It's not a personals group, just discussing and learning on topics related to WIITWD. I expect a slow start and gradual building of the group.

Our Women's group has decided on 2 more fundraisers this year. One for breast cancer and one for diabetes. We want to do our part to help others, especially women, in whatever ways we can. I am proud to be a member of this truly spectacular group of women.

Thursday was great! I was able to spend the day with my lifestyle friend and we had a blast and met 2 other lifestyle friends for brunch. It was a fun and laughter filled day. I feel so blessed to have found the friends I have, to know the wonderful people I know. My life has been so very enriched in the last 1 1/2 years and the good continues.

Well, got my van back from the shop today to the tune of $512.68. A very thorough job was done on it and so far so good.

I'm going to a sub friend's tomorrow and we're going to hang out, have lunch, etc. We try to get together at least once a month if we can. I'd hoped to be able to but had to wait until I got my van home to be able to commit to it.

The next event I'm rsvp'd for is the end of March and I'm definitely looking forward to it. If opportunity presents itself, I may go to one other event in March but I'm not planning on anything besides the one at the end of the month.

The women's fundraiser the other night rocked! We raised over $200 for a local organization that helps rape victims and battered women.

It was great seeing friends and meeting new people and getting to play. I have some pretty marks from the canes and floggers and paddles.

It was a blast letting loose, being me and having fun.

OMG I am so excited rofl....today, for the first time ever since I joined this site, I have joined the ranks of those accused of being fakes and wannabes and losers and posers, called all kinds of really filthy, nasty names, and all I had to do to earn those exalted words was refuse to send a stranger nude and/or skimpy lingerie pics of me!!! Wow! Who knew it was that easy??? Yes I'm crazy I suppose but damn it was sooooo funny!!! You'd have to be a regular reader of the forums to understand the humor of it I suppose, but damn, I'm still laughing and even better is that I was informed that I'm going to be blackballed in this person's local kink community too! Wow! That's even funnier; and I actually know in person a few people in that community who've come to my neck of the words for parties and events.

Friday night was an unexpected and totally wonderful experience for me. I went to a play party and as always very much enjoyed chatting, laughing, and spending time with friends and meeting a few new people.

I got to play as I usually do and that is where the unexpected experiences came in.

Bondage is something I have wanted to experience for a long time, but I couldn't do it until I trusted someone enough to submit to it. The man who's topped me a good bit over the last several months asked if I'd like to bottom for some bondage and I agreed to. I have come to trust him quite a bit due to his actions. He has shown himself to be trustworthy and a friend. What I got to experience was a combination of shibari and suspension bondage and it rocked!! As I hung suspended, he then flogged and spanked and paddled my upper legs, ass and between my legs. OMG it was sooooooooo gooooooood!!! As always, we used open communication and a few adjustments had to be made during the course of the scene for my comfort level as limbs would get tingly and numb at times. All in all it really rocked and I am definitely looking forward to doing it again as soon as opportunity presents itself.

I also got to experience an extended session of electrical play with a violet wand with all kinds of attachments and extras. It was very intense, painful at times, arousing and totally wild. I discovered that I cannot handle my nipples being touched during electrical play...it was way too painful to tolerate. I'm not overly surprised though as I've always had very sensitive nipples and while I enjoy clamps, clips and clothespins, they have to be applied just right or I can't tolerate them either.

Along with that, a vampire glove was used on me for the first time and dammit, now I have another addition to my list of toys to get lol!! I was stroked with it, petted with it, hit with it, and rubbed very hard with it and I really got into it and enjoyed it so much.

It was a night of new experiences for me and all done in safety and surrounded by friends.

As I continue to socialize and explore, I learn more and more not only about s/m, but about myself, my submission, what I need, what I want, and it's so amazing. Part of my submissive needs are met at these events in terms of service. I am able to help others as they request it or need it, help in setting up and clean up too and it makes me feel good inside, more complete for awhile, and reminds me of part of my value

Strike 4

Right now our women's group and other members of our local kink community are enraged, upset, rocked, and hurting for one of our own. A new sub was attacked and raped a few days ago by a local "dom". She is the 4th that we know of in our area.

How many outside of WIITWD and/or the area itself he's raped is unknown. He is on personals sites, including collarme, and trolls for victims selecting those very new and those who, if they tried to press charges, would lose jobs, homes, families, etc. as well as likely to not be believed and be the ones blamed for what happened to them. There are only 2 groups that still allow him at their events locally. Who and why I'm not even going into. Way too much drama there.

One of his victims from a few years ago is a friend to me and a wonderful lady. She still carries emotional scars and always will. Many of us feel guilt because we were not able to warn the new sub fast enough to have hopefully prevented this. He is known for this in the community. He's not the first such of course. There was another well known who finally was removed from the community for the same type of things, but not before he too hurt several women.

Saturday night was such a blast!!!! OMG I had soo much fun! The women's social was definitely a hit. Half of the group was there and we let loose and had a fantastic time. It was one hell of a girl's night out for sure and I look forward to the next get together we have. My face hurt from laughing so much.

After I left the women's social I stopped in where the Christmas play party and swapfest was held. I added a paddle and a flogger to my toy bag as well as 2 flogger bags. My toy bag is building a little bit at a time and I'm pleased with what I've got so far.

I got to play at the party as well, starting with a taste of the new paddle then straps, hairbrush, flogger, and finally cane. Afterward I snuggled with the top and a sub friend for awhile and it was so good. Definitely just what I needed that night.

Around the middle of January is the tentative time frame for the next play party I plan to attend.

It's always a blast to spend time with my friends and let loose and totally be me. It rejuevenates me and strengthens me having those times. It meets some needs inside me.

Looks like Dec 16th is the next date for get togethers. The women's group I'm in is having a Xmas social which should be great. Also, there is a kinky swap n shop followed by a play party. More than likely it will be just the social and the party for me.

Still waiting on my paddle that's being made for me. Might be January when I get it as the guy who's making it is badly injured and will be a month or more recovering. I can wait. He does excellent quality work and I know as soon as he is able to he will finish it and get it to me. I really feel for him being in so much pain and hope he feels better soon.

All in all aside from being sick, things are going fine for me. I have wonderful friends and family and much to be thankful for in my life.

A week ago today was the November play party for our local group. It was a total blast. A record turn out of people. Lots of good food, great conversation, laughter, fun and play.

I was one of those priviledged to be there and witness a collaring ceremony for a wonderful couple who are long time members of our group. It brought tears to my eyes as I smiled. It was simple, heartfelt and poignant. You could see and feel the love and devotion.

I got to play. Started on the spanking horse and then after, I stood for a singletail session. Just awesome and wonderful! After we finished, I helped the top put away the implements he used on me and he put 5 needed bandaids on me . Though faded, the marks still remain and keep me smiling when I see them.

I am truly blessed with some really great friends. They have made some very positive differences in my life.

Went to a small gathering last Friday night to celebrate a dominant friend's bday. Was such a blast! I got to experience fire play for the first time. It felt so good and so sensual and sent me into subspace and nearly brought me to orgasm. Later in the evening I got to be singletailed...mmmmmm lol love it.

Tomorrow (Friday) night is one of my groups' November party. By the amount of RSVPs it looks like the majority of the group members will be there as well as a few guests. It oughta be an utter blast. I always enjoy myself at these parties, plenty of good food, conversation, teasing, laughter and wonderful play.

Well, last night really rocked. Both events were great and I got to meet a couple from collar me in person at the party. Had talked on yahoo for a little bit. Was just an all around blast. Looking forward to the Nov party coming next.

This weekend looks to be a blast. A new women only group I'm in is having our first meeting/social and right after that is a Halloween party. I am so looking forward to both. It'll be great to see friends and acquaintances again and let loose and just have fun.

Just sitting here thinking and realizing just how far I have come since I first joined Collar Me last year.

In the time since I joined I have gotten involved in my local bdsm community, made friends, gone to parties, get togethers, lunches, breakfasts, and am exploring my masochistic side.

So far I seem to be a heavy masochist. I like a lot of pain and lasting marks when I play. It just does it for me.

I'm involved in an LDR currently looking to fully develop it over time. I'm a lot happier now than I've been in years. I'm here for friends and the Collar Chat forums where I spend nearly all my time here at.

It's been a few months since I did a journal entry on here last. I don't use the journal here much as I have other blogs I use for most things.

I've been here on collarme for several months now. I spend most of my time here reading in the forums/message boards and sometimes posting there as well. I have learned so very much there. At times it's almost addicting reading them.

Some make me laugh, some make me cry, some make me angry and many make me think a lot. They are a great place to gain knowledge and ask questions to help one learn.

I've made some friends here and through some friends here have gotten involved in groups in my community and made more friends. Being given those opportunities has wrought positive changes in my life in several ways. I have been learning and growing and gradually over time coming to understand myself better and better.

Sweasty Male Submissive, 30, Fort Worth, Texas	swede Male Submissive, 45	swedeinbali Male Dominant, 40, bali	sweatergirl Female Submissive, 37, San Francisco, California
swede48 Male Dominant, 61, Dallas, Texas	sweatersissy Male Switch, 46, St. Louis, Missouri	Sweep Male Dominant, 55, Brisbane	swedishtornado Male Submissive, 40, Stockholm
swedishslave Female Submissive, 34, stockholm	Swedviking Male Dominant, 38, Gothenburg	swedishsub Male Submissive, 25, Sthlm	sweaterpansy Transgender Submissive, 44, Central Florida, Florida

SweetSarijane

About SweetSarijane