What I am looking for in a pet/servant:

I am interested in being pampered.  Being good at massage and foot rubs get you brownie points. 

If you consider an aristocratic lady's servant, being of use with honor and dignity, that is the sort of demeanor I would be looking for. 

Honesty and integrity.

Personality and a sense of humor.

What I am not looking for:

a slave.

a sex partner (does not mean no sex, just that sex isn't necessarily part of it)

drama (if your significant other must never know, it is not gonna happen)

possession/obsession/groveling/humiliation play/

tributes or support

I am :

not monogamous, so I don't expect it from my servant.

bisexual, so my servant's gender is not relevant.

not a Mistress.

learning to top so play can be part of the deal, if you are willing to let me learn on you.

part of the House of Fieldwood so serving me may include doing tasks for the House.

honest and up front, and expect the same from those close to me.

I am not

intolerant of others.

sadistic.

I enjoyed an in-depth conversation this weekend and it suddenly struck me how much I have changed and grown in the last five years.  As I stumbled into the lifestyle and was able to accept my natural tendency toward submission, I was able to finally see that as a good thing, that could be nurtured and make me stronger.

I was extremely fortunate to find a good Man who helped me to grow as a person and as a submissive.  I am also extremely fortunate to still have this Man as my good friend and the Head of the House I serve.

In that time, I have had growing pains... I learned a lot about myself, from the Dominants and submissives that have shared my journey along the way. I was hurt, and hurt others, which I do regret.

The surprising thing to me is that I realized that I am not feeling terribly submissive any more. I don't have that driving NEED to kneel at Someone's feet or to hand the Controls of my life over to another.  I am still a submissive -- it is very much a part of my personality, the desire to help, to please and pleasure.  But the need to express it in the old ways has gone. 

I still love a good flogging or a friendly spanking -- but I am mostly unwilling to take pain just because it will please Someone else, or to put my own desires and needs on a back burner. 

This is growth and change, and it reflects the self-confidence and strength that are my rewards.  It means that I don't feel the urge to find a Dominant or Master, the way I did before.  It means that I have less of a desire to find the time (always in short supply) to be "subby or slave for a night" than I have had before. 

I assure the respected and cherished Dominants that have helped me along my journey that it does not reflect upon them that I really just don't want to play that way anymore... They have all helped me to grow. 

It just means that  I am focusing on my schooling, my family and life in general.  This will probably change again as time goes on.  Who knows what the future holds? 

Next Hazleton munch is being held on December 6 at 7pm, but this time we are meeting at the Bonanza (across from the Laurel Mall entrance).  I have reserved their back room which will give us a measure of privacy. 

Hope to see some new faces!