SweetlyISubmit

"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."
— Anaïs Nin

I love that people actually take the time to read the journal part of this profile, but I feel that I must clarify something.  I have received a string of emails asking why I am "lost"?  Legitimate question after my last post, I suppose....

I am not "lost".  I use writing to process my thoughts and feelings and I had just gone through a pretty rough break-up.  I think when this happens, all of us try to re-find ourselves and re-center ourselves without that other person in our life... I was merely processing.

Thanks!  :-)

I feel so lost...

At some point, things will make sense again and I will be sure of my path and direction, but at the present time I feel like a pawn for the wind...

Perhaps it's the time to not really look for a while.  Maybe date and meet for fun and casual inclinations, but take the slow road...  After all, regardless of words or official status's, he will possess me as his for some time and there's not much I can do about that other then let time work it's sweet magic...

I have been asked a few times recently why have my needs changed?  In all actuality, they haven't.  Ultimately I want the same things that I have always wanted, that which my profile has always clearly defined...  But it is all a matter of timing and immediate needs versus the long-term.  I am currently hurt and feel less than whole.  I am angry and more than a bit bitter.  None of which are healthy things.  I need a release from these emotions, from my mind, from my body.  Very simply, I need a Dom that can facilitate that release now.  It has nothing to do with long-term or a D/s relationship.  I just need a Dom that is exceptionally skilled in pushing all of my limits (mental, emotional, and physical) and that can create and deal with the resulting catharsis.  I need to let the anger out and I simply need a man (a tool) to help me do so....

Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself..... The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer--because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut. -- Ayn Rand

A couple important things...

I am not able to host and that is not something that can change.  Therefore, it is imperative that if you are interested, you have the ability to host.

If you do not know the difference between dominant and dominate, there is no chance of it working between us.