If you are only giving me 'part' of your time and/or interest, rest assured I am looking for someone who will give me more attention than you are.
I am a spankophile.
I enjoy sex and lots of it, that doesn't mean I want to have sex with you.
I am a masochist.
I will not relocate.
I will not dominate you.
I am a shy person in public situations until I know you.
I am honest and loyal.
I am an alpha female around other women and at work.
I'm not looking for the love of my life here, I've had that. I'm looking for a compatible monogamous Dominant companion.
If you're unsure of your status? I'm most definitely sure we have nothing worthwhile to discuss.
I am not bisexual, although, I've thought, in jest, if I were to lose weight, I'd pose nudey pictures, and become a lesbian cocktease. Just to stick it to all the asshats who wouldn't give me a second look because of my weight.
I will not be an online submissive. Pretending is for children.
I prefer a mature man.... Age isn't the issue, maturity and experience are the issues.
I am a woman, try as I might, I can't stop having feelings and emotions.
I am not into watersports, scat, bestiality, children, scarification, punching, face slapping, branding, or anything that would or could result in a trip to the emergency room or morgue.
... To be continued
I'm going to post a copy here of my original profile. It's much more in depth and gives more insight into who I am and what I have to offer. As I've found over the years, this being my second profile with collar, profiles tend to go unread or just skimmed, so I created my brief one. Below you will find the original in its entirety. --------------
I am a BBW(if you can't handle a large woman, no need to read further). I tend to be a SAM and a fun loving brat, with spanking/discipline/punishment being my main turn on/need. I will however after being spanked be rather submissive for a while. I am a submissive with slave tendencies for the right one, who does become truley repentant, usually even at the thought of punishment. What I am is a loyal partner to whomever I am with and I always give 100% of myself to any relationship, whether it be friends or lovers. I also seem to have this internal need to be brought to tears, and then pushed slightly further during a spanking. My true desire is to be in a Domestic Discipline situation, (you can read up on it here: http://fondlyandfirmly.com/ as well as other sites.)where sensual spankings can also occur for sexual purposes and delight. At other times, I feel as if I need to be punished, even for daily infractions set up mutually and agreed upon between the Dominant and mysef. Structure and consistency are key points for me. I have several self destructive characteristics that do fall directly into the DD category and would hope to improve my health and well being by being in such a relationship. I am basically looking for someone, preferably someone from my state, who is a Dominant man to gather ideas from and become friends, perhaps meet for further discussion and possibly more. I am not interested in people who are from out of my area or who would just like to cyber, phone sex, or webcam. I do not cyber and have no wish to, as it is unfullfilling for everyone involved. I am not looking for casual sex, 1 night stands, or LDR. If this is your desire, once again no need to read further.
What I have to offer to a Dominant/Disciplinarian/Partner 1. First and foremost my loyalty. Which at times has caused me some of the worst of my own heartaches. 2. The giving of my mind and my attention. There are 2 types of people I have found in this world. Givers and Takers. I sadly am a giver, and for the most part this type of personality is preyed upon and taken advantage of. 3. The opportunity to try and "tame" and teach me. Not break me as I feel no one should ever be broken, and of course the taming can be so much fun. 4. Ample opportunity to disicipline my large bottom, which could take quite a while as it is of definite size. LOL 5. Humor, an abundance of it. 6. A listener, one of the best I have been told. 7. Nice full lips, to shower kisses upon you, whisper sweet nothings in your ear, and other devious ideas pop into mind. 8. A warm soft body to cuddle for warmth in the winter and to shade you in the summer. 9. Honesty; which I have been told I have to a fault. (I realize most likely later before sooner that honesty is not always the best policy when asked a question) 10. Tolerance, whether it be sexually physically, emotionally. However over time, and without change tolerance can lead to resentment. 11. Interesting and intelligent conversation, I am an opinionated person and do so love a good discussion, whether we are on opposing sides or not. I will never claim to be the smartest person, but I can carry on a conversation about most any subject. 12. A semi stable Gemini (we all know how stable they are with their moods), who works outside the home and has an established home which I am not willing to relocate away from, unless it is to be a full time 24/7 relationship.
What I need from a Dominant Man 1. Stimulating conversation
2. Humor
3. The strength to discipline me to tears and the determination to continue until the punishment is finished.
4. Patience, I have 3 children and scheduling is always an issue. Ages 20,12,11.
5. Loyalty, I am not looking for an attached person out for a kinky booty call.
6. Respect for yourself and for others.
7. A man with a job and who pays his own bills.
8. Someone local within 100 miles as I have no desire to relocate nor do I have the extra money to pay for gas to and from a longer distance...
9. Someone who adores large women and would never demean them because of their size.
10. Someone who knows the difference in a sensual spanking and a punishment spanking and thrives and delights on delivering both.
11. Someone who is not married, engaged, or otherwise taken.
12. Someone who will not try to break me, but is willing to teach me and keep me in line.
13. Someone who enjoys the company of children, as I have 3.
14. Someone who is looking for a LTR.
15. Consistency, it's something I am not used to. Especially after living with a switch for 11 years. I am also one to test the limits given to me, because I have in past been able to get away with it (humor is also part of this one
Online play. No, I don't enjoy it. Not as a general rule of thumb. I won't say I've never done it. Did I find it enjoyable? For a day or two. It gets old very quickly. I steer clear of it for several reasons, I feel it keeps things anonymous. It's impersonal. I begin to yearn for more. I know what it's like to be in a D/s relationship and pretending online and doing things to myself is not fulfilling. I'm not going to judge the ones who do find it to be rewarding. More power to them, it's not something that I'm willing to do. I take matters into my own hands without any online help. As I said earlier, online help just makes me ache for what I don't have even more so than I already do. Why would I want to put myself through emotional pain like that? Ahh well, just the ramblings of a tired sub tonight. Take from it what you will. Happy Holidays.
Food for thought, many Doms post in their profiles to wanting a 'slut' in the bedroom/at home and a lady in public. The majority of us subs are that. Just remember please, when we meet, we are meeting in public and stay true to your word. Please don't treat us like a slut, save it for private.
Let me start out by saying I don't feel as though it's a competition between the vanilla world and the lifestyle as we choose to live it.
I finally came out to myself and was truly honest about the deep seated needs I had in my life when I was 27. Before that was just fantasy and speculation.
That being said, after all these years, which included a 9 year D/s marriage, a couple of D/s relationships, and a few frustrating attempts at vanilla relationships, I've come to realize that I can't be fully happy in a vanilla relationship. No, not just the sex thing. Yea, that's part of it, but, a D/s relationship offers an intimacy that's so much more. There are times when I do get lonely, and jump haphazardly into vanilla, very soon realizing, what in the world was I thinking? Even before I make it to the sex stage of the relationship.
I honestly feel that the bond between a Dom and sub in a LTR is so much more intense and strong than that of a vanilla boyfriend / girlfriend LTR.
Anyone have any thoughts? Maybe someone can put it more eloquently than I can
Thought it was time to update a few photos. I've got to say, selfies are not my forte. Collarme, just a suggestion, make an app for us smartphone users who want to upload pics! :-)
I've been wondering why submissive men feel the desire to msg me asking me to top them. What in the world from my profile would give anyone the idea that I could be capable of topping anyone?
I've just had an interesting conversation, apparently my lack of enjoyment in receiving oral pleasure is something I should seek professional help for. LOL, that's me adlibbing his reaction.
If everyone enjoyed the exact same things how boring would life be?
I don't like it... it makes me uncomfortable, I dry up, ive never cum from it, although I have endured the wants of my Dom, when he wanted to do it, the only pleasure I received from that, was that he enjoyed doing it.
Lying about enjoying it isn't something I'm prepared to do.
Ok my rant is done... if it even was a rant. I feel all dirty now that I've been made to feel that not liking to receive oral sex is a massive unforgivable perversion.
Long time since I posted a journal entry.
So much has happened, that's life.
On my quest again with renewed fervor. Confident it will happen one day. That pairing of minds and bodies that I've craved for so long.
Finally, I feel happy with myself and my choices. Surely, in the grand scheme of things, I'm ready for what's to come.
Good Grief!!!!!!!!
ok, so why is it, perfect men from all across the nation find me charming and desireable, but, in my own state.... nothing. WTH?! That has got to say something about the men here.
Well, Honestly, I don't know how much plainer and straightforward I can be. I'm not interested in games nor online play. I'm way to old and open and honest for games. So don't bring it to me, if, that's your intention. Online play is very unfulfilling for my particular needs. I've been quite disappointed as of late. If you correspond with me... please be real. That's all I ask. I will be real with you, and expect the same in return. My life is far from perfect and I don't know anyones who is perfect. I do seem to handle it though and have yet to kill anyone in the process. If you aren't interested in real life, be up front and tell me. We possibly can remain friends online. Don't make promises you know full well you won't be keeping 'nuff said and I can step off my soap box.
I hope everyone has a lovely New Years Eve.
Off to work. Gotta love 12 hour shifts. Just a quick FYI, if you want a response, you really should unblock the user you write. User has blocked you, mail not sent
Wow, it's been since February since I posted here. Been almost as long since I even logged in here. Real life being pesky and all getting in my way. So many changes, so little time right now to write them all down. I did notice since logging back in they have taken the reading journal link off. I kinda liked that function, was fun to watch people rant. Oh well, other than that, a few new faces around it seems, and some familiar ones as well. It's good to touch base with old friends. I hope everyone has a pleasant Holiday season (politically correct I know). Off to work now, I'll peek back in later.
Job interview today at 1:00. Will be nice to get back to work. Note to self, "do not argue about cake at this job". Have calmed down a bit with the self destruction, my irrational spending has gone down. LOL perhaps because I have none to spend?
Happy Hump Day! ~sb
Made some tough decisions over the past few weeks. Ended a new relationship, no spark there. Without spark what is there? Past 2 weeks I seem to be in self destruct mode, way to many irresponsible decisions. I need to get a handle on myself, and don't seem to be able to. BTW, just random thoughts today. Nothing more but a place to try and hold myself accountable by putting it in black and white. (LOL or whatever font this happens to post in) Peace out, everyone have a wonderful week
Sunday my body finally rejected the microdermal piercing. I'm glad it's not there to hurt anymore. On the other hand, I did like the idea of it and really wanted it. I don't think I will try it again though. Christmas was a bit rough this year. My Grandmother died the Tuesday before Christmas. We did the arragements the two days following Christmas. It really has been a rough year in that regard. Losing my Dad earlier this year and now his mother. The funeral seemed to have brought all the emotions up from my Dads death. Working through some things here on my end, I've been doing some hard thinking about the current situation I am in. I am still confused about some things. I am hoping some clarity will arrive and I will know how to deal with it.
OK, earlier today I changed my search preferences to get a new look to my CM home page. However, I have decided to go back to the familiar. LOL. I'm having a hard time making decisions today it seems.
I've just changed my search criteria. I suppose I was getting a bit bored with the same opening page on CM day in and day out. Switched from "NC" to "All states", but added a 100 mile radius. Pretty cool to see the new faces there from Tennessee and Virginia. This should give me some interesting reading material today. I hope everyone has had an enjoyable extended holiday weekend. It seems to have passed all too quickly. Have a wonderful week, ~sb
Well, back to the drawing board? The unconventional way of having my needs met lasted a couple of months. It was enjoyable whilst it lasted. Best wishes to those involved.
Finally! After going in on the 3rd time, he had the anchor and was ready to pierce me. By that time, I had made myself nervous as he had told me how badly that spot was going to hurt. Yes, it hurt. 2 of my friends were there, 1 for me to squeeze their hand (I still yelped and thought my back was on fire), and one to take a pic. The piercer told me that the spot I wanted it put was really probably one of the most painful for that area as it is all muscle.
I had decided earlier that day if I could withstand the pain from this one, I wanted to get another 4 or 6 up my neck to my hair line 1 down below that to the tattoo). Creating a jeweled line. Since I lived through this one LOL, and he said that the other placements wouldn't hurt as bad, I think I may do it at a later date. The one I would have placed below that one would be as painful as this one. The rest less and less painful as it went up.
Well I added a pic taken last night at the parlor. I took down the pic of my Slave Tat, as the piercing one shows that tat in it as well.
I've been wanting to get my tongue repierced for ages. Last weekend I went ahead and made the appointment to get it redone tomorrow (Friday). I also had been researching other piercings as well, found the microdermal ones. This is the one I am so excited about. No one in my area (very rural area) has one of these, My piercer/tat artist said he can do them. He doesn't do them often as he got several complaints because people didn't realize they are permanent piercings. I told him I was fully aware of this and asked him if he would please do one for me. My chosen spot for it is at the nape of my neck, very near my Slave tattoo. My excitement has spilled over to my friends and several are going with me tomorrow just to see how it's done. ~wiggles in my seat like a kid anticipating Christmas~ I am really looking forward to tomorrow. I'll post some photos of it tomorrow evening after it's been done. Everyone have a wonderful day. ~sb
~Something that really sucks, is waking yourself up at night, realizing what awoke you is reaching for the person next to you... and they've been gone for over a year...Do you ever quit doing that? I hope so.~
I have recently changed my profile to searching for friends only. My needs are currently being met, however, unconventional it might be, it's working for me right now.
A chuckle to share for the day. I love Cyanide and Happiness comics. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I tweaked and edited my profile today. It seemed to me some things needed to be deleted, some needed to be added, and some needed to be expounded upon. Have a great day everyone and a joyful weekend.
I wrote this a few months ago and seem to find parts of it still true currently.
She runs
She aches
She sobs
Unwilling to let go
Unwilling? best said unable
Don't try to touch her
Don't try to comfort her
She is solid in her misery
She will never be content
She will not know happiness again
Not without him
She doesn't even want to try
She pretends at times that there is hope
No, she isn't a tease, but perhaps perceived by others when she yet again bolts.
I don't want to see what you see, what I see is bad enough
hmmm in one of my moods again today. Anyone care to know what it feels like, my journal entry of July 12, 2009 covers it.
She longs for the time she feels a hand wrapping in her hair again. Tugging gently at first then with more demanding urgency as he leads her to the bed. She aches to hear that quiet firm whisper in her ear "Head down ass up" as her head is pressed to the bed. She craves the discipline, that in the past, has marked her bottom and thighs. The sounds reverberating through the room as the warmth spreads through her She desires to be used for his pleasure in turn fulfilling her own. How long must she wait for him to find her? She yearns for his arrival, each hour only increasing her fervor. Her plea to the winds, for him to claim her soon. So she can leave this seemingly endless desolation behind to blossom as she knows she can.
Not all those who wander are lost. - J R R Tolkien
Have a wonderful weekend. ~sb
Got my hair cut, took a few webcam pics and added them. I haven't had layered hair in almost 20 years. I guess it was time for a change
Collar of Consideration: Although my profile states I am not seeking, I still receive my fair shair of cmail. A lot asking why I quit seeking, etc. I answer them politely, then wish them luck on their searches, then delve back into the humorous and enlightening world of the journals here. I've been talking with someone who is a veteran here at cm. (He) Under a new screen name. I enjoy spending time chatting with him. Last night I was offered a Collar of Consideration. I asked for some time to read up on what it is before I accept the offer. If anyone has any information, their experiences with a Collar of Consideration, would you please be so kind as to share them with me? I won't be on often for the next 28 days, I've taken on a 2nd job and have no day off between now and then. 2 shifts per day will soon wear me out I am sure. However, I will respond, when I get the time. I am above all polite when approached with respect and decency. Thanks so much for taking your time to educate me further on this subject.
Thanks to Michael for being the voice of reason yesterday. "Be free from your fear. Be free to love again."
Today I am officially single. I remember my first divorce, how elated I was to be free of him. To be able to follow my heart with my fiance. How I made sure I took back my maiden name, rushing to the DMV to get my license changed, divorce papers fresh off the judges table. Today, not so elated. I shall keep his name.
~~~~~~Fin~~~~~~
Do you ever have one of those days, when your need is so great that you don't see how you will make it through the day without having it fulfilled? I am having one of those days. The stress of life itself, just mundane every day things build up inside me and I need a release. Not a take a nerve pill numb myself release. No, it has taken much greater proportions than that. I seem to notice it happens about every 6-8 weeks. I've found, from past experiences, besides numbing myself with medication, that a thorough complete dominating discipline session seems to fix the problem. Not just a quick spanking does the trick. I need one where I know I have no choice. That it is going to be done, it will not be finished until I have reached atonement within myself. Until the emotions bottled up inside me come pouring out. Tears flowing until soft accepting sobs are all that's left within me, bottom and thighs flaming, breasts aching, perhaps even a plug deep within me. After being brought to this state and kept there... a gentle stroking of my hair to bring me back to calmness, to the mere mortal world to face it with a new and refreshed state of mind. After calming the sobs, being sent to the corner, plug in place, my body still trembling and throbbing from what it has endured, to reflect upon myself and showcase his handiwork. I can't even begin to fathom why I find this to be so cathartic. I do know that when I receive regular discipline I don't feel this extreme need as often. Well, this isn't one of my normal journal entries, perhaps I wrote it in hopes that it would help appease the need I am currently having. Wishing everyone a lovely Sunday. ~sb
*editing* Sitting here reflecting on why this mood today, wanting to know, needing to know what brings it about. I remembered quite suddenly my divorce is final tomorrow. I suppose that is as good a catalyst as any. Add tothat normal stressors I'd say it was a recipe for disaster.
A lovely song with several different meanings to me depending upon my mood. Give it a listen if you are so inclined:
On the days I can't see your eyes, I don't even want to, open mine. On the days I can't see your smile, Well i'd rather sit, wait the while. For the days I know you'll be near, 'Cause a day without you, just isn't fair. See the days I can hear you voice, I'm left without a choice.
Plus I get weak in the knees, Fall head over heels baby, And everyother cheesy cliche`. Yes I'm sweeped off my feet, Oh my heart skips a beat. But theres really only one thing to say.
God damn your beautiful to me, Your everything, yeah thats beautiful Yes to me, Ohhh
I can't find the words to explain, Just how much you got me going insane. When you speak to me sometimes we fight, Oh I studder my words i say nevermind. 'Cause even when you just walk by, Well I look around to seem occuppied. 'Cause i'm trying so hard to hide, Yeah, All these feelings inside.
'Cause i get weak in the knees, Fall head over heels baby, And everyother cheesy cliche`. Ohh I'm sweeped off my feet, My heart skips a beat. But theres really only one thing to say.
God damn your beautiful to me, Ohhh Your everything, Yeah, thats beautiful Yes to me, Ohhh Yes to me, Ohhh
Yeah your beautiful.. Yeah your beautiful.. God damn, your beautiful, To me, To me.
Today I had an interesting conversation with my client. I work one on one in the MRDD field. He is in a wheelchair, and quite high functioning. I adore him. Today, he asked me if I knew what life was. I looked at him and smiled, wondering what his definition would be. I said "Fred" (name changed) tell me what life is. Fred told me "Beth, life IS NOT like a box of chocolates" At that point I had to avert my head so he wouldn't see me giggle. I turned back to him and said "Really?" Fred said "No. Life is having someone to hold and someone to love." I smiled at him and told him "Fred, I really hope I get a life soon" Then it was back to a WWF wrestling commentary and singing Honkey Tonk BeDonky Donk" that he is so fond of doing. I don't know why I thought I would share that bit out of my day, but it made me feel good to hear him say that and thought perhaps it might make someone else happy too.
Once again, time passes, 3 days now without a word. You made promises, I accepted them, now broken. My friends say throw in the towel, you aren't serious. I so wanted you to keep your word this time.
When doing some research on DaddyDoms and Babygirls I found a quote, which I shared with you that explained how I felt. You said you understood completely and it would never happen again.
"The baby girl needs alot of attention to feel loved and secure, lacking this, is one sure fire way to get a negative reaction from her."
Now, my mind and soul wanders, to times of past, and wondering what the future holds. The past brings tears, but, the future wonderings do as well, feeling there will not be a happier time to come. All of this leaving me in the present crying for something that once was and for something that may quite well never be.
Well, finally over a year of conversation via phone, yahoo, and email we shall meet. He is quite persistent. I like that about him. He is perhaps one of the reasons I seem so aloof at times. I know that he isn't the only reason. We shall see what the future holds I suppose.
Doing some research today on Daddy Doms and the corrosponding Baby Girls at the request of a fellow CM'r. I am finding it most enlightening. Also, just found the cutest creed I thought I would share.
The Brat's Creed
If I want it, it's mine. If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine. If I can take it away from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's mine, it will never belong to anybody else, no matter what. If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine. If it looks just like mine, it's mine. if it's broken.....it's yours!!! if you fix it i want it back!!
author unknown
Well, I took the plunge into the vanilla world today. I already know that it won't work, I can't be happy in a vanilla world and I am so not wanted in the spicy world. I agreed to go for a ride in the mountains with him tomorrow. Wow 2 dates within a week has got to be a record for me! He was so very sweet, and cordial, and a fairly good kisser. 10 years my senior. But, I also know I will never tell him what a kinky bitch I am. LOL So, it will never be truly what I need in that regard.
I'm still here, reading journals, and seriously, I do get so much enjoyment from reading them. Whenever I need a laugh I know exactly where to find one. Ahh well, to see where this vanilla journey leads.
Peace out, and Happy Fathers Day to all you Dads out in cm land.
To all of those who knew you, We marvel at your vast capacity for caring and giving of your time, love, and devotion.
We must all remember the generous and self-sacrificing life you lived. Your kindhearted soul could easily have filled an ocean.
You lived a hard life. Your brusqueness was a facade. For those who understood you most, will agree you were not roughshod.
These tears that are falling, I'm sure you would want for them to cease.
But, losing our father, son, brother, and friend greatly distresses us. Give us time Dad, We'll find our peace.
Losing you so suddenly is something hard for us to endure.
In time, after our mourning, we can again smile in our memories, which are pure.
There is a lesson to be learned from this, easily seen now with such clarity, that life is a gift not to be taken lightly, and to live our lives with love, curiosity, and charity.
Our lives will be forever changed, just for having known you. I love you now, then, and forever.
Why is it during times of death and sorrow, that family members are torn apart and not closer together?
I would like to thank everyone for their well wishes and expressions of sympathy. It has helped some. The next few days are going to be hectic. Please bear with me.
My family just called me an hour ago, my father has been in a fatal accident. The next few days are going to be very hectic and stressful for me. I apologize in advance to the ones I talk to frequently for the no getting back to you in a timely fashion over the next week.
Touching and intimacy is something I sorely miss. I'm not talking about sexual contact or anything that would have to lead to a sexual encounter. I'm talking about the cuddle time you have with your children, the stroking of their hair, their sweet hugs and innocent kisses, I'm talking about a hug from a friend, holding hands with your partner, sitting side by side on the sofa with a hand on their thigh. A gentle touch on the back of your neck, or a small kiss behind your ear, and one of my all time favorites, having your hair brushed.
Intimacy, can be a bit harder to explain as it probably means different things to different people, some falling into the category of the kiss behind the ear, or the touching of the back of your neck. But with this, words can be just as important as touching. "I love you" before you go out the door, a small peck on the lips, "be careful, and have a good day at work" all things that can help keep intimacy in our day to day lives.
I truly do miss these two aspects of a relationship, it will be nice to have them as a part of my life again.
I hope everyone has a terrific week.
I've been wondering lately, that if I were to change my profile, to something I am so clearly not, how much of a response I would get. For example:
1. Height would have to change as well as weight. 2. Change to slave with no limits. 3. Borrow a picture to replace mine. 4. Throw out the prudish idea of a possible LTR and promise to have sex with each person I meet on the first meeting. 5. Change hair color, wear contacts and delete freckles. 6. "Dumb" myself down 7. Get a boob job 8. Reverse the fact that I have children 9. Change my age
All in all the new profile would probably look something like this:
Hello Sirs or Madams, i am offering my lowly self up to each and everyone of You. i am 5'2" and weight 93 pounds. i have long blonde hair and my bra size is 30DD. i am 20 years old and have not read a book since 9th grade, when i quit school and got my GED. i am looking for someone to own me to do anything They so desire to me, because i want so much for You to control my every thought and movement. i unlike everyone else here on cm love when i get messages telling me to get on webcam and strip and pretend to suck Your cock. i am even desperately wanting to beat myself for Your enjoyment on cam. i dream of the day we first meet and i can do it for You in the parking lot. i will do anything You ever ask of me and beg to do it again in front of Your friends so they can watch and join in. If You don't want to have a meaningful relationship with me, that's fine, because, i don't deserve to even consider that notion. i just want to be there for You all whenever any of You may need my sausage wallet. Please just send me a message as to where i should meet You so i can give myself to You in every way imaginable. i am not even concerned that You may want me to have sex with animals i love dogs they are so sweet and furry. Please don't make me wait a minute longer, i need to have all of You in control of me right now.
Hmm wonder if I would get more positive responses to that profile?
I am surprised sometimes (although I shouldn't be) when reading cmails and journal entries at the vast amount of juvenile behavior on this site. Let's not forget to mention the lack of manners and common decency when communicating with other human beings.
I think perhaps we should all remember that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Have a lovely Sunday!
The new Recent Journal feature has been giving me hours of entertainment. I have seen lots of people complaining about it, while others seem to adore it.
Of course 2/3 of the entries are complaining about fake people, or how a certain Dominant isn't Dominant or a sub isn't a "true" sub. The last complaint I find to be absurd. Every person on this planet is different; we all have different expectations, needs and desires. To try and place every single submissive or Dominant into it's specified cookie mold just does not work. One thing for sure is a Dominant that won't respect limits (not counting testing limits) in my opinion is an abuser, not a Dominant.
The other 1/3 of the entries are filled with wonderful insight that I find refreshing and interesting.
To that 1/3 keep up the good work!
I wanted to throw this out there, as I feel it is important to let people know who I am and what I am about. I am not a casual sex type person. I am also not a religious person, but, grew up in that mindset. My relationships are very few when it comes to the sex department. I am sure they are higher than some, but, at the same time I am quite positive they are much lower than others. With that being said, sex to me is something that is intimate between two people. Perhaps, a silly notion. Although it is who I am. I can't see myself having sex on a first meeting. I won't lie and say I never have done it. Because, yes, I did it once. It was fun, but, I do regret it in a way. It compromised who I am as a person. I have never been with a black man either. It's a personal preference that I chose not to do so. Now onto something else. I can say, that yes, I have fantasised about having sex with more than one person at a time. I just don't see me actually doing it. It does make for good masurbatory (yeah I'm prety sure that isn't a word) material. My other sexual fantasy is a forced Bi situation, although I am most positive that that particular one won't be fulfilled either. Not because it hasn't been offered, but because I just don't think I could follow through with it. I feel lucky that I have fulfilled all of my other fantasies at one time or another. I do not wish to have those two fulfilled. I prefer to keep them as a perverse little fantasy. These are a few of things I wanted to add to information about myself, because, I seem to get messages asking these things about me. If people read my profile and journals, they would know much more about me and it will help them to understand where I am coming from and what I am all about, and quite possibly answer any questions about these type of situations. I hope everyone has a great day and good luck in your searching!
I wanna say I love music, all kinds. Lyrics especially. When the words can speak to you it seems you are carried away. So I will share a little something. My current favorite song is Natasha Beddingfield ~ Soulmate
Here are the lyrics and a link to enjoy the song. I seem to find this song very relevant to me during this stage of my life.
">" target="_blank"> Incompatible, it don't matter though 'cos someone's bound to hear my cry Speak out if you do You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable Is already in my life? Right in front of me Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end How do I find the perfect fit There's enough for everyone But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold Who knows how to love you without being told Somebody tell me why I'm on my own If there's a soulmate for everyone If there's a soulmate for everyone
I would like to point out. I am not a Domme. I am not a switch. Participating in Domme like activities does not stimulate me in anyway. I am not exactly here looking for a play partner, I am looking for a partner that I can share play experiences with, along with other life experiences. I can't have the type of relationship I need with someone who lives hundreds of miles away from me. I am not the type of person who is going to meet with you for a scene a couple of days after I spoke with you online. It is not in my character nor do I wish it to be. I may be a brat by nature, but, I am not a slut. I don't really see the point in what I am about to write as The ones who take the time to read what is written do not usually behave in such a manner; however, to appease myself I am going to write it anyway. A good lesson to many of you wishing to find a sub would be not to send an introductory message saying "does this white bitch like black cock" to anyone. Yes that is an entire message sent to me by someone who perhaps thought that would entice a fulfilling conversation from me? Just for the record. I don't think I personally know anyone, sub or not that would enjoy meeting someone with that as their first impression. Educate yourselves. That's the best advice I can give on that subject. Well perhaps another rant tomorrow then. Have a great day!
Perhaps it's time for me to conform. Conform to the vanilla world. Supress my needs, I would feel better I think. Instead of being an unhappy lonely girl, I would just be unhappy. That's better right? I guess it's time to start actually saying yes to people that ask me out, put on my vanilla 'tude and just go with it.
Thought I would peep in to see any new faces. Sadly, the same faces are still here, with a few new ones. Doesn't seem to be working for anyone. *sigh* I wish you all well in your search. I'm no closer to finding what I need, hopefully you are.
Enhance my willpower with his will. That particular statement sums me up pretty well.
I ran across a post on another site several months back that I saved because it really described me and my situation quite well. So I am going to share it here.
Some dominants seek out to find the perfect submissive/slave, they put an awful lot of effort into training and creating the perfect submissive, it may take years or just a few months, but in the end they end up with a submissive that always does as they're told, they're always being the perfect example, they live their life day to day living up to the expectations of their dominant - perfect thing to happen, right? Wrong.
The dominant now, by default, has nothing to do, there's no training, there's no creating, there's no effort in giving commands, commands that they probably no longer need to give. Problem being, the dominant now no longer has to "dominate" that submissive, as s/he already does everything that's asked, suggested or expected.
The dominant, in more cases than not, will seek greener pastures to go through the whole dominating process again.
Owning a brat is a completely different circumstance, they aren't the perfect submissive, they probably never will be, in the sense that they just can't help being that bit cheeky, forgetting on purpose that something scheduled should be done, they know their rules, but spend the rest of eternity attempting to either ignore the fact they're there or trying to "bend" them, in their eyes those rules do have loop-holes and they do have other "interpretations".
The dominant that owns this wonderful creature has a job that is never done, there's dominating to be done everyday. Whether it's the look or a word or, indeed, the raised tone. There isn't time to get bored or seek greener pastures.
The dominant feels their kinky obsession, that they love, has now turned into a full time job and it's a full time job that reaps the greatest of benefits; someone that adores them unconditionally, someone that challenges them daily, someone that keeps their mind working, even if it is in the sense of, "she's being a little two quiet, oh god, what's she thinking about?", and someone that can still be taken into public and showed as an example of sheer respect.
A true brat knows how to sum up people, not just their dominant. They know who they can be bratty towards and when, more importantly, not to do it at all.
They can tell before they begin to brat whether now is the time or not. They can determine whether their dominant is in good humour or they're going to be spending the night in the cage for being a cheeky little shit.
I hope you enjoyed it, and can understand the brat side of the story just a bit more.
