Female Submissive, 22, North San Diego, California
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About sunflowerdreams
Someone once told me that he thought I should take up Dominating because he did not think me submissive enough. That I thought too much and didn't take his orders very well without thinking. Let me begin to say that I am intelligent. I enjoy educating my self. I enjoy my submission. I am truly submissive. Sometimes referred to as a slave. Sometimes called slut, little one to baby girl. I am financially stable. I have struggled hard to get to the place in my life that I am at. I work and have my own apartment and I am getting my degree.
I love who I am. I relish my independance. My individual way of thinking. I truly enjoy submitting. I love to kneel at someones feet and know that I bring pleasure to that person with my submission to them. I enjoy rope and leather bondage. I do not enjoy suspension mainly because of my fear of falling. I enjoy sensation play. Age play. Wax and ice play. Uv Wand and knives. I enjoy slight humiliation and discipline. Blind folds and leather cuffs. Love being flogged. I have a moderate pain thresh hold. I also enjoy resistance play and abduction scenes. I also enjoy dressing nicely. While I enjoy jeans and T-Shirts I have grown to enjoy wearing skirts and dresses and corsets too. Please don't tell my mother she would die from shock. ;) What am I seeking? Someone who is Dominant. Please those who are seeking me to Top them do not go any further because that is not who I am. I am submissive. A Slave. I do not Dominate anyone. Someone who has a sense of humor. Someone who stern yet compassionate. Someone experienced because I do not wish to have to teach someone how to do something to me. I can but I wish not to. Someone who has goals and asperations. Someone who is creative and has an imagination. Someone who is local. Someone who enjoys a tad touch of vanilla as I do. Limits list - Needles, scat, water sports, face slapping, children, animals, degradation.
Let me make it known, that I wasnt actually married, but it was more common law. It is over, I ended it about a year ago and its done and over with. I am single, moved on with my life and accepted it for what it was, a learning experience.?
I am going with my husband to Maryland come April so that he can meet my Parents. We have been married since August and he still hasn't met them in the 18 months we have been together.
Am I nervous? Yeaps. ? But I haven't been on in a bit so I am going to blog today. I had surgery two weeks ago. Hysterectomy for those who are wondering. They took out my Uterus and my cervix.? I had been bleeding for 8 months.? Not good but I got it fixed. Now if I could only take it easy and recoop. But I will figure it out eventually. Anyways I am lucky this semester as my professors are being generous with their niceness since I had the surgery. In the mean time I am tryin to recoop and get my work done. My AJ professor told me to cut myself some slack.
Math - A Drama - B Women's History - A English - A
Yeay! This confirms I am still smart!
Grades!
Math - (C) Middle Ages to Rennaissance - (A) Modern : 1700 - Present - (B)
With these Grades I still maintained my 3.0 Average!
Let me make something very clear -
If you send me a one liner or dont really say anything of substance in your emails to me I will NOT answer back. It isn't worth my time or energy since I get plenty of emails. I do try to answer the ones that are pretty well thought out. But the ones that say "we could work on your submission" sorry but that just shows that you are a narcassist and that you really need to get a grip.
Gentlemen, In the nine years I have lived in the bay area I have met and corresponded with a number of you, and frankly I am a little disappointed with the men in this area who call themselves Doms. I find it hard to believe that in a city based on the power of politics that at least a few of you can?t step up to the plate and get the whole BDSM thing right. Since you all seem to be having a difficult time with this I thought I would give you a few guidelines to make your search for your own submissive princess more successful. I am only giving you this input out of love, no one wants to see you succeed more than I do dear, so please read carefully.
#1) A submissive is not a doormat. Don?t expect me to do whatever you say when we are not in the bedroom. No I won?t clean up your apartment, no I won?t wake up at three am to fuck you, and no I will not leave work early because you can?t just jack off like everyone else does. Listen, I am totally turned on when you order me around in the bedroom, it?s totally hot. However, it is annoying in my vanilla life, I am just as busy as you are, so lay off. If I wanted that kind of subservience I would move to Saudi Arabia.
#2) Sending me an email saying you?re a Dom, doesn?t make you my Master. Seriously, if I sent you an email claiming I was a cardiologist would you let me give you an angioplasty? I am just as protective of my snatch as you are of heart. When I get an email from you immediately giving me an order to take down my ad, send you a nude picture, etc, I show it to my roommate and we laugh at what an a**hole you are. My lack of reply should be an indication to you of how well this strategy works. It?s even better when you send me a second even more demanding email. Christ dumb a**, it?s not working, try something else. Try slowing down, would it really kill you to have a cup of coffee to get to know me a little first.
#3) No, your friend cannot watch or join us. I don?t know your friend, and I don?t want to fuck him.
#4) NSA means NSA. I am not looking for a husband. If I were I would be married by now. If I meet you on Casual Encounters, it probably means I am not going to move in with you. Again, I have a life too. Having said that, if you would like to see me again, just ask. I might say yes if the sex was fun. Don?t send me creepy emails asking how I?m doing and don?t drive by my house seeing if I?m home. This kind of behavior makes me think I should call the sheriff to see if your address has been updated in the offender registry. Oh, and Brian, stop sending me text messages. You were a lousy lay, and you cell phone has a virus, which fucks up my phone every time you send me one of your inane messages. Go the fuck away.
#5) Don?t expect me to suck your cock without any reciprocation. No fun for my pussy means no second date for you, period. Submissives like oral sex too. Don?t get me wrong, I love sucking cock, but it is not enough to keep me interested in you for more than twenty minutes. Additionally, if I have sucked your cock for half an hour and you still refuse to cum I am throwing you out of my apartment. I don?t care if you still have a raging boner, my gay neighbor will get to enjoy watching you struggle to unlock your car with a hard on.
#6) Seriously, your friend cannot watch.
#7) Yes, we have to meet in public the first time. Also, no I won?t come to your apartment, never having met you and put on a blindfold without seeing you first. I also will not get into your car with you and let you drive me some place I?ve never been before. Safety clown says those are bad ideas. I like being tied up and fucked. I do not like being tied up, fucked, injected with drain cleaner, and strangled. I don?t know you, and you haven?t gained my trust. And yes, I want your real name, address, and phone number. I will give it to my roommate so he can check up on me if I don?t come home in time. This is common sense, and if you are a real Dom you will always put our safety first. If you don?t want to tell me your name you are hiding something and I don?t want to deal with you.
#8) Married guys, get fucking lost. Cheating on your wife leads me to believe you are a despicable piece of shit, don?t email me. Put a little effort into your marriage or get divorced a**hat.
#9) Under no circumstances will I do the We/we, D/s bullshit while we IM. I/it I/is I/inane.
#10) Enough pictures of your cocks already! Again, I just show these to my roommate for our amusement (and he?s a queer). Bonus points to all you gentlemen who send me a penis pic when you have a really small cock. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.
#11) Again, your friend cannot watch. Who is that guy anyway? Wasn?t he in Deliverance?
#12) You may not call me bitch, slut, or whore outside the bedroom. If you do, don?t be surprised if I go nuclear on your a **. I have a name, use it. If not I might be forced to refer to you as daddy in public.
#13) If you don?t respect and like women, don?t email me. If you hate women and want a blowjob, I can hook you up with my gay roommate.
#14) If I spend two hours getting ready for our playdate I expect you to put a little effort in to getting ready as well. At least shower, no one likes that musty ball smell.
Listen, I am a nice, smart woman who just happens to like a little spanking and bondage. I am sure most of you are nice men who like the same things. I?m sure we can work this out. Post these guidelines by your computer before you answer the next ad and I?m sure it will work out for you. Happy hunting you naughty bastard.
Location: Chained to the Bed
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.
It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little peices of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.
Well I want to have a nice party, let me know what ya'll are allergic too, because while this is going to be my little girl party, I also will have big girl gifts.
Sooooo heres the plan.
Cake. - I am thinking either backyardigans or Pooh as my theme. Most likely Pooh. And Chocolate with strawberries and butter creme icing. Activities - Cartoons to watch, crayons and coloring, games to play like Monopoly and go fish. Gifts - While yes these are optional I am putting out a list of the things I would like, because I haven't gotten a birthday gift since I was 5. - To warn ya'll most of it is TV shows, I have no social life and collect these things.
Things I want or need -
Criminal Minds - season 1 24 - All seasons Charmed - Seasons 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 Dark Angel - Seasons 1 and 2 Will and Grace - All seasons Chef - the box set - it is a bbc series Dead like me - Seasons 1 and 2 All Sponge bob episodes Any South Park Episodes The prestige and the illusionist A night with the King Dangerous Beauty Collectors edition of Robin hood prince of thieves Little Women (yes the one with Wynona Rider)
New Harry potter book Mistrals Kiss - Laurell K.. Hamilton Serve and submit - Susan Wright A pound of flesh - Susan Wright Bodies we've buried - Tales from the CSI Forensic School - Patricia Cornwell Anne of Green Gables - E. Montgomery
I know the list is long, but all gifts are optional, just it is a wish list for birthday or christmas. Has been for a LONG time!
So the party will be at my house.
So Finally the date -
May 27th - party starts at noon :)
Castle So here it is for you guys.
I have a scottish castle ( because Scots make damn near impenatrable castles) and it is made of stone. It has a mote. I keep everyone at Mote distance. It has a little city inside, with crops and acres and livestock so my villagers dont die of hunger. Every now and again someone tries to break in, but they just end up falling into the mote.
I have a mental image of this castle. I let a few select people in it. But most have to talk to me from the mote.
It made him laugh. But while it makes me laugh too. It is true. 7 yrs I have been building onto this castle. Time to let down the drawbridge yet? I think so. So we have entered negotiations on letting down the draw bridge, to meet in the meadow so we can speak on times of surrender for a bit.
May sound weird, but you try being a Highlander fan :P
Terms of surrender Sat, March 10, 2007 - 11:47 AM So I asked him why. "I need a reason why I should let you into my castle" So he gave a reason. I told him the reasons he gave were reasons I had heard before and that i needed a good reason to let him into my castle. So he gave one. One I had been waiting to hear. One which was of a truly non selfish variety. So I asked him if he was ready. He said for what? So I picked up my sam bear and waved it. Told him, this is me waving my white flag.
This morning was the first time that he has left and I haven't feared that I wouldn't see him again. That he really is in my life for good.
This is going to be a trying month. As always, because I gave up my son for adoption 6 yrs ago this month. It is always hard on me and most definetly the hardest thing I have ever had to do besides leaving my husband and daughter behind. I miss my son and he will never call me mommy. But to hear my daughter do so, are the best words she could ever say. I am supposed to see her on tuesday. I have to say one thing, Melinda and Seth get along famously. When she was about a week old, I took her and went and visited my son so he could meet his sister. He got so upset that we wouldn't allow him to play with her. Because she was too tiny. He didn't understand. But when they get together those two are inseperatable.
So as always, I will be taking the 14th of March off and holeing up for the day, turning off my cell , my computer and wont see anyone that day. I do this every year. As it truly is the only day of the year that I am depressed to no end.
PATRIOT DAY 2006: PRESIDENT ADDRESSES NATION ON FIFTH ANNIVERSARY OF FORTUITOUS POLITICAL WINDFALL The Oval Office
THE PRESIDENT: Good evening, and... HAPPY PATRIOT DAY! (Blows horn; confetti falls, limply) Five years ago, this date ? 9/11TM ? was seared into America's memory, then emblazoned, printed, tattooed, sold and packaged in every classy way possible. It has become a noble, Godly, and patriotic brand name that means so many things to so few people, like: "USA WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP" and "PAYBACK'S A BITCH, LAUNDRY BRAINS" and "JESUS IS MY SAVIOR, BUT I'M SCARED TO MEET HIM.YOU FIRST, IZZLAMONAZIS! " All I can say is congrats to the foreward-thinking Americans who bought stock in this country's vast Stars & Stripes industry before those towers fell down, down ? and my poll numbers went up, up. Bet you made out like a corner nigga slingin' pure, uncut Colombian pimp snax while everyone else be huffing gas-o-line. Ain't America swell? (Thumbs up.) Remember that many a hero has died for the flag... literally for a piece of cheap Chinese cloth hung out in front of some gated community McMansion. Sheesh. No wonder I never did my time flying combat sorties in Vietnam. The proletariat concept of dying for sentimental notions of patriotic symbolism is sooooo déclassé.
Hell, before 9/11TM, I'd already settled on blaming every problem on Saddam Hussein: from recreational abortion hobbyists to teachers who refuse to believe Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the back of a Stegosaurus; so I suppose you could say this terrible day was a gift from providence. God green-lighting the biggest transformation of sincere national unity into hysterical, paranoid tribalism, since, you know, something from history. Thank gosh God is so determined to be mum about why He does stuff. Guess that's what makes him so sexy and mysterious. Yes, on this date, a monumental human tragedy occurred; a calamitous failure of decades of foreign policy climaxing on my watch in the form of the largest, most devastating attack on the United States in her history. So massive in scope was this plot by a handful of motivated Muslamoid rednecks, that even to this day, when I sit down to contemplate what happened, I react much the way I did on that fateful September morning: I just sort of go all "Durrrrrr... " and drool over a children's book. Heh-heh. You know how everyone has a funny 9/11TM story? Like, some people are all, "I stumbled across the Brooklyn Bridge covered in dust, bleeding out my eyes and wondering where my wife was" or more likely "I watched the 9/11TMshow all day, then ordered two large Domino's Extravaganza Pizzas"? Well, I got a story too. I was sweating urine on Air Force One while we were hauling ass to the most secure military site in the country, and Andy Card is pacing in the aisle talking to folks at Gallup, and while his back is turned, I TOTALLY pinched his droopy little ass. Then when he turned around, I pointed at my Secret Service guy and... and... guess you had to be there. Let me also say, that at this point, I'd like you to ignore that this speech is a thinly veiled GOP mission statement defending my Administration' s short-sighted, blockheaded strategy in fighting the mercurial War On Terror in anticipation of the ass-pounding my once mighty party is going to endure come November. This is the part where I act all "Presidential" and make you sorry turncoats who are tired of the taste of the shit I feed you reconsider how you're going to vote. So it's this speech, and my friends at Diebold that are the only things separating you, my fellow Americans, from a properly functioning democracy. That, by the way, is bad for business. Now, allow me to make believe I am sincerely appealing to you in an attempt to bring this country together, to heal the wounds whose sutures I kept ripping out over and over and over and over and over and over again. I'd like to make the most exploitive, seemingly apolitical choice I can make right now, and give gushing lip service, lavish praise, and undivided attention to the victims and heroes of 9/11TM. I will never forget any of you, although on a side note, I am sad they seem to finally be getting around to filling that hole in downtown Manhattan. As holes go, this is a great hole. Anytime I needed a little bumpy-bump in my numbers, all I had to do was rush over to that hole and blammo! The red states love it, especially when I went with that hairy aye-talian Googliani, who smells a little too much like, as the French would say, "Le Coq", to ever be president. (Shrugs.) Sometimes, when I'm standing all solemn and shit by that hole, like I did earlier today, I like to think to myself "How many Hostess Ho-Hos would it take to fill Ground Zero up? Seventy-billion- trillion? Could you float a boat on a lake of Ho-Hos? Would the boat be made of Ho-Hos? Instead of wood planks, would they be Ho-Hos? Who would build the custom Ho-Ho parts I would need? Like Ho-Ho bolts, Ho-Ho masts, Ho-Ho etc?" Anyway ? I'd like to take this time to honor the victims and heroes of 9/11TM. There is absolutely NO WAY anyone can criticize my doing that. I have honored the heroes of 9/11TM over the years too: during photo ops, campaign commercials, and that time I was so eager to get New York cleaned up that I had my EPA chief tell everyone that the thick dust cloud settling over Ground Zero was nice, healthy FREEDOM FOG® instead of PCBs, asbestos, lead and just death in general. Boy howdy, inside my noggin I am honoring the fuck out of every single one of those nobodies. Lookit! Lookit my brow! I salute New York's Finest, and their slightly gayer little brothers, New York's Bravest. Commie unions being damned for the time being. And where are we, half a decade later? As a nation, we are heartbreakingly divided and bitter, and many of you might think that's regrettable, but it reminds me of what Mama always says: you know, that you can't make an omelet without the house Negro breaking a few eggs while you read the Wall Street Journal in bed. Ben Franklin was right when he said "A House Divided Means Two Condos You Can Rent." I believe with all my heart that history will look back and declare that my Administration did whatever it had to do in order to hold onto to power, even if it meant lying, breaking the law, and flouting the spirit of the Constitution and its mandated checks and balances. And I did it for the smallest possible minority of Americans. I believe steadfastly in all I was taught by my father's former friends and current bullet-happy robber barons ? stern, condescending paternalism and emotionally manipulative fear-mongering is the only way to keep the muddy classes where they belong, namely, not splattered all over my patent leather shoes. In closing, we cannot yield. There is no surrender. We cannot yield, because I have no choice but to stay the course. There is no Plan B. If for any reason, because, and this here is a wee little secret, we're all out of any ideas. I mean, Rummy has a Plan B, but if we were to go with Plan B, there'd be plenty of European babies born with skull noses and pinky fingers growing outta their bellybuttons. The War On Terror is the greatest challenge of the Baby Boom generation. We can do it! We've faced worse: like Disco, and sagging jowls, and investment bubbles. The War on Terror is our Saving Private Ryan. Think about THAT! I wish a happy, healthy Patriot Day to you and yours. Ho, ho, ho! Watch out for commercial air-o-planes piloted by suicidal Puerto Rican-lookin' motherfuckers! PSYCH!
I was thinking last nite and a case of malkavianitis came over me and I began thinking...
What if every cartoon, children's story, or fairy tale ever created for little kids were twisted into some sort of psychosis induced hell...
lets take Winnie the Pooh for example...
Winnie the Pooh is a sex offender, obsessed with gettin some honey, he'd do anything for it and his favorite person to get it from is little Christopher Robin... he also buys his good from Chris
Tigger is always tripping on Acid, rollin on E, and flying on speed... he thinks he's made out of rubber... as a result he has a habit of jumping around and jumping out of trees and the such...
Eeyore is drunk and on antidepressants like Prozac, and he's incredibly antisocial and the word on the streets is that he used to sell shit but the government seized that and all his assets so he didn't have a home, and while he was in jail some hephalump ass raped him and ripped his tail off... poor Eeyore
Rabbit is a homosexual vegan pothead psychologist who obsesses over his little garden, and when little mean nasty critters sneak into his garden he bugs out and sprays the fuckers with cyanide...
Piglet is an obsessive compulsive midget who, like Tigger, is almost always on some sort of Hallucinogenic drug, he's always envisioning these monsters whenever it gets dark out... he still wets the bed from time to time... he tends to go to Rabbit from time to time to talk about it.
Christopher Robin is a hermaphrodite and a former biological engineer who lost his job when cloning was made illegal, he is living in absolute poverty, he does from time to time show off his "pets" sometimes (little insects that he engineered to be able to eat a full chair in a matter of ten seconds or to build a beehive like the one at AMDA today in under an hour)... He is very heavy into Morphine and Heroin and tends to cry his eyes out when he can't get his next fix, he is also known as the local dealer, he sometimes sells balloons filled with "special smoke" to people like Pooh, so they can fly and get high.
I can't think of anythign for the Kangaroos but if you can I'd gladly add it lol... or hmmm... how about some other stories...
Holy shit storm Batman! It is pouring here. Coming down so hard that it woke me from a sound sleep. The possibility of rain had hung so heavy on the air that I woke up several times sweating from the humidity that was heavy in my apartment. I hate rain and I hate storms. time to shut off the stuffs. it is lightning here too.
Bloody hell I am tired of this. I know when I placed my ad on here I was pretty specific as to what I was seeking. But I guess I must have a magnet on my forehead that states "contact me, i love relationships with married men." This is bullocks! I am sick and tired of married men contacting me and asking me to play with them. I DO NOT PLAY WITH MARRIED MEN! Well at least not ones whom I have not met their spouse and gotten their ok. For any "Dom" who claims it is up to him if he plays with me and not his wife, please dont ever contact me. Mostly because they aren't serious about their marriage and if they can't be serious about that marriage, then they can't be serious about me.
Happy birfday to me! 25 today.
Having a fucking fantastic day!
Went to work this morning and was interviewed for a position for my job. A perminent position.
I GOT IT!!!!!
I now am no longer seasonal position but a perm position!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
It is my birthday this weekend. I need something to do, to get away this weekend. I have saturday and sunday free.
ANy ideas?
I know that this isn't bdsm related but I am taking a moment to comment on my favorite tv show. I dont watch alot of tv. Infact most the shows I do watch are based around my future career as a profiler. But there is a show I watch that is called Greys anatomy. It is the only show I watch that truly gets to me. It makes me think as well as react, mostly I react to the things that happen to the characters and associate it with what is usually going on in my life. Because trust me I have a fucked up love life just like the lead intern on the show Meredith Grey. I have broken down and cried during the middle of sex and done many other wacky impulsive things as we have on this show. So I get the show and the dark humor at times on the show. It is the only show currently on tv that I watch religiously. Well as of late the story lines have really touched me and made me cry and it is amazing that a show can touch you so much that you end the night in tears and wishing that your real life didn't hurt you so much to where you could identify with characters on a tv show and how they have fucked up so badly because they have to sit there and watch the love of their lives be with another and not with them. I know it is a show, I know I shouldn't care so much and I dont, I do care about how much I keep living through the same things that these people do and it is one viscious cycle. A cycle I hope that ends soon.
Well this is a new blog space for me and here goes nothing.
While I do enjoy all the emails I get here on collar me , I have a small problem. I feel guilty about not emailing people back who just send me a line "loved your profile, contact me back so we can talk" This is the only line and I usually dont take the time to contact back. Sorry but its true. I like emails that are well thought out and articulated. I dont spend alot of time on collarme because I have pretty much given up hope of finding anyone.
I have taken the plunge a few times. Mostly with couples.
Lets see here -
The first time in the scene was with a couple who became an interesting arrangement. The woman who was the submissive had a problem with the husband touching me but it was ok for her to touch me. Unfortunately that didn't last long and I left the situation after a short time.
Then I got involved with a man who was a one sided bastard and took advantage of the fact that I was a sub/slave and wanted to be waited on hand and foot, had bad hygene, had no job and expected any income that I brought in to go to him. Pretty much it was a one sided relationship - I gave and he took and he never gave back.
Then I got involved with a Man who was the previous man's best friend. My world changed. I was truly a slave. Gave of my self heart and soul. It was a very good relationship. Unfortunately there was a huge problem. The man was poly at the time and I was mono. He broke it off because he saw how torn I was and he knew that I should be with someone else. This broke my heart. I gave 3 months to this man. Every day for 3 months. I still can't see him without hurting for how happy things had made me and how much I still crave to be at his feet. Fortunately I do not have these self delusions very often and for the most part keep him out of my mind. This was 6 yrs ago.
Time gap of 1 yr.
I end up moving to Washington to be with this couple and the woman was to be my Mistress and the Man my Master. Unfortunately the Man was more her slave. And after I left, that is excatly what he became. While I was there I had to wait on her hand and foot. I had to clean the house and wash the dishes and take care of their child. My room was in the garage in a loft. Unfortunately this arrangement with them didn't last long because I tend to be mouthy when I am forced to rub peoples feet , when the purpose of my coming to Washington was to start school and find a job. Less than a week after being there, the woman had him lock me into the loft because she didn't want me to hear their conversations. The next day she told me I had a day to find someplace else or I was to be homeless. So I called a friend of mine and he helped me get back to california.
Time gap of another 6 months.
This time I went back to the original man whom I had been with before and he had me give and give. Well it was like before. Except this time I got my act in order. I got into school and I also met someone who changed my life dramatically. I met my soon to be ex husband.
Time gap of 6 months.
During this time I was living with the man above but things just totally deminished. After being seperated from him for 4 months I met my soon to be ex husband.
Hubby and I dated for 2 months before having sex. The first time was the kicker. I became pregnant. While he and I did have a bit in common and we were friends, he was not truly into bdsm and wanted me to teach him. I am just not comfortable enough in my body and self to teach someone what I like as far as bdsm. We got married soon after we found out I was pregnant. He was exstatic. He loved the idea of being a daddy. I am glad for that. I still do love my ex husband very much. More than he will ever know. However the year we were together married, he was verbally and mentally abusive. He also threw a coke bottle at my head one day when I pissed him off. After that I left.
During the time with Husband
I met a guy who I became very infatuated with. He was poly and he had a slave in Sandy eggo. Well mostly it was him and I and we got along famously. I was obedient and loved it when he would flog me and fuck me. Unfortunately we never actually got a true scening session. His girl from sandy eggo came up and we all went to power exchange. I had to sit and watch while he played with her and he hadn't even played with me yet. Soon after she left it was decided that he and I would no longer be together because I wouldn't change how I walked, stood, knelt and many other things. He wanted me to be like her.
2 yr time gap
Met a couple at folsom fringe and the guy was a instructor. His wife was slave to another man. His wife was psycho, but i ended up moving to la to be with this man. It ended shortly after I got there because the wife was indeed off balanced because she pulled knives on him and also she just had problems. I needed to get my life in order before I could be anyone's slave. So I told him I needed to get me in order before I could be with him. He couldn't accept this, she couldn't accept this. So it turned out we broke up, i got my own place in la and started school and worked another job.
1 . 5 yr time gap
I moved to Oklahoma for a couple who I truly had given a chance upon and it was decided before I moved here that I would belong to them but that it was ok if things didn't last. I got here and had been well deceived on matters, I got a job and I am moving out into my own place this friday. I have not onced knelt before him or her. They are nice people but I paid 850 to move here to start my life over.
Now my life is pretty ok right now. I am working 2 jobs. pretty tired constantly , but I am independent and I am strong and I am still seeking. Still looking , even though my heart says I shouldnt.
