suchAgoodGirl

i hope you are pleased with all my chores today! i promise to make you proud on the table tonight ;)

things aren't always as they seem. sometimes they're better! so much aggression has been taken away. my heart feels light, my feet still tingle with excitement. there are so many things about me that remain inside. i enjoy giving control over to another (after first explaining what i need and why) then giving in and letting go and just floating. i love to fly and it shows. is that so wrong?

i love you buddy, and always want to make you happy. is it ok if i whisper in your ear and tell you all the nasty, slutty things i want to do? i will always be true to you, but the feel of another's hand on the back of my head sends me flying. i love the feel of solid wood on my ass, hips, thighs, legs, back and breasts! slick with oil and sweat all i could feel was pure pleasure. raw, penetrating passion filled me to overflowing and i had to beg to cum. was i bad?

the tables have turned. the air is now clear.

my hubs read the notes and then he took the wheel.

quite quickly we drove to a place not so far

we sat and conversed in a quaint little bar

the sparks were just flying, the air filled with scent

not very long after, to her place we went

the playroom was tasteful, the setting just right

the toys filled a table, much to our delight.

a bench held me tightly, a ball filled my mouth

She told me the signals, we tested them out.

from the tips of my toes to the balls of my feet

this Goddess did tickle my senses quite deep

with cane and with paddle did She work Her spell

Her words fell like raindrops upon my parched soul

each button was played with, all triggers pulled back

She took all control and allowed me no slack

my limits were pushed as She knew what was needed

i crumbled and fell at Her feet

then She lifted me up to the heights of my passion ....

and finally gave me release.

thank You, thank You, Thank You Mistress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i adore You

~s~

just a quick note before i start my day.

hubs................I LOVE YOU!!! ;)

i want to be able to talk to you about anything. i want to open up my soul and let you peek inside. the thing that stops me is myself. i have no courage behind my convictions. i do not want to be outcast. i do not want to be shunned. i want to be the same every day like everyone else. i want these headaches to go AWAY.

let me turn the tables, coin a phrase or two or three

watch the way i tumble at Your feet

listen to the verbiage as it stumbles past my lips

not that i am new its just been yearsssssss.

~

curves so soft and sweet you can't resist her

flesh so pearly white it glows at night

nails so long and sharp they make you whimper

eyes that make your heart go pitter pat.

let me be your pet and rub against you

watch me do the dishes as you rest

put me to the test and grade me harshly

snap my leash and take me for a walk.

listen to the sounds i make so softly

as You take control of flesh and mind

take me to the edge and guide me over

coax me into sweet submissive peace.

please.

how about this kinda "forced"

making her cum until she is dizzy and exhausted, begging and whimpering and sweaty and panting. doing all of this and allowing herself to cum over and over because she can't stop, because He is in control and she will do whatever He wants, as much as He wants, because making Him happy is all she really cares about and she would do ANYTHING to keep feeling like she is and enjoying the sensations of passionate, explosive orgasms as He takes her to the edge and pushes her over. Again and again and again until she is out of breath and begging for mercy. squeezing out every precious drop of honey that she can to please Him and to hear His words of praise.

does that about cover it.

"forced orgasm"

wtf is that?! once a girl's head is in the wrong place.........how would one be able to "force" an orgasm?! this makes no sense to me. if an orgasm is such a pleasurable thing, would it not only be possible if the girl is "willing"? am i getting terms mixed up again?!

"forced" because of my size, i am easily overcome physically. ok. so what are you gonna do? TAKE IT?!?!?!? ROFLMFAO

 i have learned to tune out, to block out, to "vacate my body" in order not to feel pain or discomfort. i am not some cute young girl that trembles and cums every time a Dominant touches her!

guess maybe my head just isn't in the right place?! 

seriously about to give it up. the term switch comes to mind. if i cant get it used on my ass...........maybe i need to pull one?! LOL can You tell its gonna be one of those days?

nothing much new today. have 3 days off, pretty excited about that. haha went to an auction and brought home some new/old guns and a couple of interesting pieces of furniture. An old wooden file cabinet with locking drawers looks great in  the playroom, just the right height for bending a girl over. of course i was quick to point that out. he is always quick to take the opportunity.

quick isnt always good.

hoping this gets read by the right person................

i love you dear with all my heart, but there is something else.

i cant decide what caused all this, but please let me explain.

when i was small and blooming young i felt a strange desire

no clothes would fit or feel just right, my spirit needed freedom!

at night alone my mind would wander to places dark and strange

my flesh craved binding, knots and tension; naught else made me feel safe.

at first i thought that punishment was all that i deserved.

knock me about, please dot my eye, just put me in my place.

i took a beating several years, i thought that this was right

then i shook my head and cleared my eyes and took another look.

its not the punching that i crave, nor words that cut me deep

i need a hand upon my chin to lift me to the light.

can you just stop and check this out? i know it sounds absurd.

this girl of yours needs someone strong to guide her day and night.

we cant be equals if i feel the need to bow and serve!

i love that you are there for me, i just need a bit more!

should i keep doing it myself? do i need to shrug it off?

could i just PLEASE find one good Dom to help you figure this out?

i do not want to replace you, i do not want to hide.

i just want to be listened to and then you can decide.

thank you.

i dont want to criticize. i just want what i need! i dont want to have to explain why. i just need to get it!

if you have to ask, how can i tell you?! if you have no clue how can i kneel? if you cant do it yourself can you watch another? could you give the one you love the discipline  she needs?

it isnt about what he is or isnt. tis about her attitude and how she perceives things. her reaction to what goes on around her is not always the same. there are times when it can be very difficult indeed to "take her by the throat". so to his credit............ its not always easy to get this one to submit.

how does One handle a difficult girl? a petulant child? a bratty slut? what holds the attention of such a creature? what makes her kneel at another's feet?

not a trick question. a reminder to herself that all of this is possible. IF You know what You are doing. i would say most men do NOT.

but that's just me  ;)

ok, so. when a girl gets older she should not be expected to have the same reactions she had at younger ages. of course this is all just my own dumb speculation. what do i know right?

when a girl is fresh and young she can squirt with just a look. as a girl ages her body does not react the same. what worked 20 yrs ago does not any more.

is it worth it? whats the big deal anyway. who needs to cum. so many more important things like trust and loyalty. a clean house is most important. good food on the table and clean socks in the drawer. who cares if her tan lines are fading? what does it matter if she needs lotion to keep herself moist? fuck it.

work is good. should go from part time to full tho. might as well keep busy. i have lost interest in everything else.

who cares. is there a site for bored dumpy housewives?

well now isnt this fun?!

all giggles and wiggles and looking forward to all her days off. now its all out in the open, playtime has become much more frequent and FUN!

how bout that.

what a day.

on to the next task.

so many admirers

so few real friends.

shame isnt it.

the summer began hot and steamy,

with her working on tan lines so seemly

just like every year, when temperatures rise

she casts off the mask and the clever disguise

spreading herself in the proper position

succumbing quite quickly to deepest submission

knowing what happens to cute little girls

dressed up in nothing but sunscreen and curls

adoring the sun and the way that it feels

pushing her playful side head over heels

smiling as summer takes over her actions

focused so well she ignores all distractions

loving the summer and all that it brings

the girl throws her head back and lets her heart sing.

this is a piece called Bratty remarks i wrote awhile back. please enjoy without sarcasm. ;)

:(

who said the truth will set you free?

lost, lonely, out-of-whack, disoriented, unbalanced.

feeling betrayed. feeling ignored. feeling like paybacks are hell.

what he doesnt know DOES hurt.

wishing he knew how to hurt more.

what kind of person mutilates small animals? is this a dangerous sign?

too much free time, not enough ambition or direction.

cant wait to go to work.

what is important to her is not always top priority is it? once again, its not all about her.

swallow girl! LOL thats the way. dont spill a drop, and keep it way back in your throat.

good girl.

we talked. i asked him to please find someone else that might be able to explain the way i am and the things i seem to crave. we wont say need cuz i been doin without for awhile. my own fault, i know. 

that was over a week ago. anybody heard from him yet?????????

things aren't always what they seem.

breakfast!! perhaps something in sheer blue. hair pulled back for reins. incense, bluesy music, morning sun shining in the windows. delicate fingers pulling at the sheets, exposing what i crave.

can make this a most wonderful day if she tries.

wake him with a smile. pleasure herself in the shower.  dress up cute for work. put out something yummy for dinner. sweep the floors and start the laundry. 

off to work i go! :-D

hmmmmmmmm lunch with new friends? what a delicious idea!

doin ok. hubs has been paying special attention lately. feels almost like my birthday! went to Bob Seger concert last night. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

midnight ride to the jailhouse and a table dance.........

life can be good. if ya try.

HAPPY EASTER.

i love the blues!!!!!!

i always feel better after following instructions. why do i need to be assigned tasks? or rather, why do i assign them to myself?!

the yard looks really good, all the veggies and new herbs are in. the moonflowers are already blooming! :-D

predawn is again my favorite time. the air is so clean and still. (ok, around here mostly still. hard to get clean air this close to houston LOL)  i like to listen to the birds wake up. i love to watch the sun come up!

morning cum is always the best, she just doesnt always get it. (that would be getting what she wants wouldnt it??)

i like to make new friends, but trust takes time. i am slow.

looking forward to an extra busy weekend. bike is down soooooooooooooo off to work i go! hee hee

always was good at making $$$$$$$$$$$$ under pressure. shame my commission is so tiny! everybody must go SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL so much for "begging"

if a girl has to ask more than once......forget about it, we lose interest.

if a request goes unnoticed.........we may stomp our feet depending on how important it is to us at the time

if a girl can draw attention just by walking into a room.....why shouldn't she?

if a girl has needs that are not met..........is she to do without?

if a girl forgets how to act.........will she be punished?

could just go and shave? ;-)

just after 4 and i seriously need to wear myself out! havent been having too many nasty thoughts lately, must be in a slump! of course, its been winter and that is NOT my favorite month!

much prefer the heat of the summer, stripping down almost naked in the backyard, covered in oil and sweat, close to the sprinkler in case she needs to cool off, laid out and baking. yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

if she closes her eyes............and removes her nightie...........will her fingers find the right spot?

if she pulls out her glass toy..........and spreads herself wide............will her honey begin to flow?

if she tries real hard............and listens real close...........will she know when You are ready?

well this sux. 3 am and wide awake. between the grandbaby crying and needing a hug and hubs getting in late and snoring up a storm in my ear..............4 hrs of sleep is good! right?!

how about a bedtime story? would that help to pass the time? guess i have to write one myself. not much to look at around here this early.

can i get a hell yeah?!?!?

LMAO