subturnedd		subtucson4		subtulip

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So I'd like to try and give you an accurate description about myself. We often don't describe ourselves as we are, but rather as what we'd like to be, we see ourselves as we would in a perfect world and that's the person we describe in our profiles. Granted profiles are supposed to be interesting and catchy so that they can spark the attention of potential mates. That being said, making your profile seem perfect like superman won't actually make you superman. You meet someone in real life and you think Oh my god I should like this person we have the same interests, their pictures were cute and find out that you imagined that person completely different from who they really are. What you see on the computer may very well not be who you meet in real life. That X factor will always be there and I'd like to try and present myself bearing that in mind, so that if we ever have a face to face encounter with me there will be a better chance for real chemistry. So first off, as it says I consider myself a submissive. I've often asked myself am I normal? After all what is normal ? Well this is what I came up with! I feel normal for myself. Meaning, if I'm doing things that bring sensations to me that are enjoyable and I'm mentally stimulated by the play, if I'm in complete agreement with every part of every scene, then I feel I'm doing what is normal for me and my Domme. Abnormality only rears its head when I feel forced to engage myself in activities I do not enjoy or that do not add to my own growth or the growth of my Domme. Please don't get wrong the meaning of the word forced, that does not mean I don't enjoy forced type play, I do but when I'm in agreement on it. Abnormality destroys; normality nurtures. I want to feel nurtured, I want to feel normal. D/s is a very personal thing for me. I don't get caught up in the net of comparing myself to others and thinking that only their play is a representation of 'normal'. I feel the play that I'm doing is normal, normal for me and my Domme. I'm not always submissive. I feel that its human to not always feel submissive 100% of the time. But I respect the relationship I have with a Domme. For example, I'm sitting on the couch when you come in and sit next to me, and tell me to fetch a drink; that honestly would make me feel irritated. You signal me of your intent to use me for a scene; I'm tired and not in the mood for play. These are human responses. Submission is not a constant thing; it ebbs and flows according to moods, the time of day, the day of the week, etc. But within myself, I do have this uncontrollable urge to give myself to someone else's control. That's my submissive side showing through. I very well may not be completely submissive, but that doesn't mean the urge isn't there or that it's not authentic. Yet there are times when I don't want to do as you say, when I don't feel like playing, when I reflexively question your orders. However being I'm a true submissive, I would still do as ordered, I would still play or would explain calmly and appropriately why I don't want to play. I won't sulk or yell; that type of behavior is not fair to the Dominant. However I'd question myself before questioned my Mistress. I've been submissive since I was a teenager, I'm still constantly learning and I'm not perfect. But I am a submissive.