I am finding that submission is a long learning process, especially when it comes to what my needs are. Though I love the feeling of being abused I am finding that it isn't the abuse for its own sake that I crave, but the abuse that comes from a personal connection. I am not a slave. I am sexually submissive and in that role I know that I need not only abuse because I deserve it and because my dom desires it, but also praise when I do well, aftercare to make sure I'm back in reality, and an attitude of over all care.
I really dislike the feeling of failure that I felt recently when my fear got the better of me and I was told to make a choice to keep going or leave all while in a panic crying jag. I didn't expect the reaction I had, and I needed a few moments to process it. I needed a Dom to help me through it. I didn't get that. Instead I was made to feel stupid and like I was over reacting to nothing.
I will extend my apology to that Dom. I am sorry I seem to have wasted your time, but I can not be the slave that you are looking for. I thank you for the experience and for the lesson you have taught me. I wish you well in your continued search |