Thank you very much for your interest in my profile.
I happen to be a woman with a long history in bdsm. In fact it pretty much started in my teens. I have never been able to get it out of my mind since then. In fact my need for pain and submission to a person with a strict - or to be frank with a brutal - hand ever intensified. I just cannot free my mind from that desire, and I cannot even hinder that this desire of mine becomes more and more extreme.
As I am a high school teacher, I cannot openly admit my inclination. It all has to happen very sercretly. Over the past decades I did have a number of relationships with dominants (both male and female). It started in what might be called the soft sm area, which as my needs intensified did not work out any more. Then the need for absolute secrecy was frequently a problem, as anything public always had to be taboo. Also through the time I had to spend with my job, I have never been able to do the final step to 24/7, tpe, and total submission. So, truth to be told, for the last three years I did not have an actual relationship but little more than occasional meetings with certain dominants most of whom are actually married and do not mind keeping things on that level. This situation just happens to be extremely unfortunate, dissatisfying, and depressing to me. All I get is the pain I need. I neither get any sort of overall control nor a constant jeopardy of punishment.
In school I have to act as a person who is not me. And if I ever fail to perform as dominantly as I am expected to, I can completely lose control over situations, really making an impossibly ridiculous fool out of myself. I have tried to free my mind of the need for pain and submission over and over again. I cannot count the times! I have had psychotherapies, confession sessions with priests, everything. It does not work!
I believe that the only feasible alternative for this to ever take a good end would be to find a responsible dominant. It would have to be somebody who has a financial standing enabling him to accept me into his home for the rest of my life. Obviously before deciding for that one would need to get to know each other very deeply and intensively. But if it should be the right person, I would really hope for a 24/7 tpe relationship. I hope to be exposed, humiliated, shared, and above all bathed in agony again and again. Obviously especially on this level of extreme sm, it would have to be a highly responsible and experienced dominant who knows what he or she is doing. But that being said, I would like to stress that it needs to be an explicitly brutal and extreme person who does not feel tempted to stop that easily when I scream or beg for mercy. Too much compassion in a dominant would lead to what I call soft sm, and whenever I had such relationships, they ended up in frustration before long.
If I should have the chance to meet a truly responsible dominant with whom I would decide to spend the rest of my life, there would be no taboos other than death, injuries that need to be treated in hospital (like e.g. broken bones), involvement of children or others being included on a non-consentual basis. And yes, if I say no other taboos than that, I do know what it means.
Please do not ask me for pictures. As you know, resulting from my profession I need to remain anonymous.
The profile picture does NOT show me. It is a net pic which does however give expression to feelings which I also cherish in submitting to a dominant.
