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I don't know why I felt the need
to check up on my stalker, you
think they would have
given up by now.
They make up new names,
find me on different
socal networking sites.
I do believe they must really
think I am stupid, it's the
same chat pattern and
they always wants things,
namely money.
I would think they
would grow quite bored.
Certainly they expect me
to be ok with the fact they
have no cam or voice but
when they are approached with
submitting a photo with their
name and the date, things
get very quiet. It all
started here. They really think
I haven't figured it out but
I did a long time ago, hopefully
they grow bored and move on.
If they don't have a cam and voice
and they can't provide a photo
and simple piece of paper
with their name and the date on it..
They are playing a game. |
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I haven't logged into this profile in 2 years. I forgot it existed.
It looks like someone tried to log in but of course didn't know
the password. I received an email from Collarme giving me
my password, telling me my account hadn't been hacked, someone
did try and log in...I find that rather funny actually.
There certainly isn't anything going on in my life that I will update here, I did see who is
still checking it after all this time..I wonder why... |
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So glad it's finally the end of the week. It's been pointed out to me, it's never the end of the week. I do however, find great pleasure in certain days and nights, friday and Saturday, even though I am not working.
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I can't wait!!! Yes, I can but I don't wish to delay gratification.
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I am looking forward to the weekend. Yes, I know this is only Wednesday but I am still aching for the weekend to be here..
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I am getting my wish. My Owner is such a sweetheart.
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I am starved for his skin close to me. I hunger for him to pull me so close there is no air between us. I want to speak of important things, of life and feelings, or just talk about
anything, even listen to the silence. I can be silent and still hear.
I long to drift off with only the beating of hearts. My chances for this are limited as I am dying more every day.
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I will be
going to bed alone. It has been so long I almost can't remember what it feels like to feel safe the whole night, even when I wake up in the darkness , the feel of strong arms holding me I long for that.
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For a little while, all is right in my world.
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My tummy is feeling better, I wasn't able to get the kits I needed for the candida. I already had the coconut supplement which helps but raw garlic, chewed up and taken with a glass of water is pretty nasty. I started to feel like a dog purging his system by eating grass. No sugar in the mean time. I don't have any food in my house anyways. After all the happened last night my tummy is settling down..Thank God,I have started to feel like myself again.
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I need a magic cure for my tummy.
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I so hate the thought of sleeping alone . I can't recall the last time I had someone to snuggle with all night. I miss that so much.
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Where is tech support when you need it?
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I'm not sure what I did, but there was someone who had their photo on my friends list and I wanted it gone, well in a brain fog I managed to remove it, and now I have no photos visible to me on this site. Anyone have any ideas? I would appreciate the help, very much.
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I shouldn't be drinking this but I am having some chocolate truffle coffee, ( I didn't grind it), but oh my, my is it delicious. I guess I am nurturing myself and my tummy is feeling better.
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I hate sleeping alone, no matter how bad I feel or how scary the dreams. If I happen to wake for a moment in the night and feel strong arms that hold me tight somehow I know I am safe and secure. I don't remember the last time I slept with someone wrapped safe all night.
Perhaps I never will.
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My tummy hurts. This better be gone by tomorrow.
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My tummy feels better, I can't wait till tonight.
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Why do I feel so unimportant at this
moment in time? I am trying to sleep but this is on my mind. Am I that easily forgotten, or did something happen?
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I hate sleeping alone. It has been so long and I really need to cuddle up and feel safe.
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I was told to post a new picture within my profile. I will have to ask Him how He got me at that angle.
I so hope Sunday gets here relatively soon, without it feeling like forever.
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Why I am awake right now? I should be asleep still.
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I am sore, good sore, the kind that makes you smile thinking about it.
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Hopefully, some good pictures to post.
It was a much needed release for both of us.
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There might be a possibility of some nice marks on my bottom tonight....
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Sir,
I am so happy it's Tuesday, I hope that I can make it up to You this evening. I need You Sir, I am Your's to do with as You wish....
Your cunt
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Sometimes, the very best things are worth waiting for.
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This post was requested by my Owner. I will try and keep it clear and concise, unfortunately for those reading that isn't one of my stronger attributes.
What is most relevant is that plans were made for last Friday that I canceled, therefore my Owner was deprived of using me. The entire theme of the session was changed due to my inability to participate. There was a bit of drama associated with all this but as always My Owner was very understanding. No play took place. A different type of session was scheduled for Saturday. I canceled this as well but I saw Him briefly which was wonderful but it wasn't the evening He had planned..
It has been too long since He used me and that indirectly is my fault. I don't wish to fall out of His good graces, I should be punished for not properly presenting my feelings immediately in regards to the weekend. I can only try and compensate for what happened.
I am now suffering with my remorse. I long to see Him this evening. I ache to kneel and greet Him and listen for His reaction, to know that He is pleased with me. I need to whisper softly, " Please,use me Sir as You wish." I am His to use and mark, in whatever way He sees fit. I can almost feel His hand checking my cunt and seeing that it is wet with anticipation. So, I am suffering now, I am needing Him, to feel His large cock harden even more in my holes. I will give up my safeword for this evening, if He wishes. I will dress myself with Him in mind. I will do my best to bring Him pleasure.
I only hope this offering has been good enough to relay my need to be His cunt, His whore, and His good girl. I hope He knows I am sincere.
Please Sir,oh, please come and use me, I need You. I know that I disappointed You twice in the last few days, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart and I beg that You might show me mercy and use me this evening...I completely offer up my submission for You to do with as You please. You only need look in my eyes to know how sorry I am.
Sincerely,
Your cunt
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I over reacted. I didn't ask questions when I should have. I am lucky, well for tonight anyways.
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I have this feeling I don't like, call it intuition, call it over reacting.
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I am so pleased and proud to say that He is perhaps one of the most understanding and compassionate people I know.
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I wonder what things He has cooked up for Friday.
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I did as I was told, I have a friend who is going to tie me up on Friday, until He arrives.
I also added a photo, I was instructed to do that this evening.
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I am suppose to post a new picture..
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I recently came across a journal posting here. I wish I could give credit to the person.
She spoke of the need for trust, mainly the building of trust in the initial stages, after meeting. She talked about those that are married that withhold that information how the trust is then tainted. I sent him a copy of the journal posting but he claims he isn't able to get his mail
I had a experience where the person I met didn't tell me they were married. The more I think about this the more I realize how dishonest this is.
I told this person they should make up a profile and be honest about their situation.
They haven't taken my advice.
I won't out him here but anyone in my area may ask me in an email.
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He came with the darkness, His strong hand over my mouth. He pushed me to my tummy, head down in the pillow, not a request but a command.
I love surprises when I am sleeping...
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I was up early this morning, actually before the sunrise. I think with that taken into account I should get a nap, so that I am fresh and rested this evening. I think the evening will start later, I have no idea what it will involve....Well, I do have some ideas but I can't give out that much private information, or can I..
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Turns out there was nothing to worry about.
Play time is right around the corner!!!
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I haven't done anything wrong, so there must be some confusion. I just wish I knew what it consisted of. I guess maybe I will find out late tonight. I sure hope so.
Maybe, I was arrogant in thinking play time was just around the corner. I am going to stop worrying about it, for now at least.
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Hmmm.....I wonder if I am in trouble?
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I do believe play time is just around the corner.
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It was an evening filled with much needed play for both of us. Once again limits were pushed. I do have some nice marks on my inner thighs, there is no doubt they were made from the cane. I love the sound the cane makes, it gets my attention, but on impact there is nothing like this Sadist's implement. The sting of the cane can easily transport me, taking my breath away. He reminded me to check my right cheek, I found a lovely bite mark.
I so enjoy the basic things, so primal, yet so truly amazing. They complete the erotic dance.
I am sure that I pleased Him well this evening. His pleasure brings me great satisfaction as well.
I know I will be sleeping well tonight.
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It's Tuesday. This is a very good thing..
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I feel safe with Him, knowing that He listens and cares. He likes to play hard but He never wishes to truly hurt. The sound of His voice does so many things to me.
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I have the smartest, most sensitive, sexual and Sadistic Owner. He listens to me and pays attention to the things I say. I ache to please him and long to keep Him pleased well...Thank You Sir.
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Am I afraid of fear?
I think to a certain degree I am.
Good thing I am a strong believer in trust.
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I should be tied up about now. I was also informed that I should be wearing lash marks from the belt on my ankles, left tied up in the bathroom, I can only imagine where that might lead. The evening didn't work out quite as planned due to me but I am sure I will get another chance to be used in the way that pleases Him, therefore pleasing me.
I was a good girl and added another photo..
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I am so excited about Saturday. I will get a visit from my Rapist, hope He comes in the middle of the night. Actually the time doesn't matter, it's the anticipation of knowing He is coming when I least expect it. He is ready to take charge and the energy is amazing.
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I posted an additional photo, it shows the lovely marks my Dom inflicted last Saturday night. The marks were a result of some intense and passionate play, it doesn't get much better than that. I wonder how long they will last? ....Wonder if it will stay up? I am so longing for this Saturday to arrive.
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I am very excited, Saturday we will once again immerse body and mind into my favorite scene.
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I am wondering if I should try and post some pictures of my lovely marks, a result of breast torture on Saturday. I should ask first.
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Perhaps tomorrow, looks like no play today.
The night didn't end up with the intense play I was hoping for but that was because I wasn't very well, it still was very wonderful.
Once again, I tried to load a photo to this site, looks like this time I was successful in pleasing the CM gods and my Owner as well.
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There are times, when all I need, is to feel Your arms around me. Your arms holding me tight, as You tell how it wasn't my fault. No one is perfect and accepting the worse of me means You are deserving of the best.
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I was finally able to take some pictures of my lovely marks, I can't load them here.
Now, I will do my best to forget about the most totally embarrassing thing that happened, there will be no further elaboration.
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I am so grateful that He has such a wicked and devious imagination. I was certainly enthralled, today I wear those marks, which look like they may be around for a while.
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I guess the protocol for adding pictures to your profile has changed. I have tried three times to add a photo in the last several days with no success. I do recall in the past having photos denied. Ok then, I did try.
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I need some play time. I know it will happen soon...
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It's a good thing thoughts are private. I am hoping to play out, " The Rapist in the middle of the night." Oh yes, please.
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I am lusting. I have a serious oral fixation. I should follow this up by saying, that I am only wanting one particular cock and that is the One that I serve.
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The 4th of July was filled with plenty of spark and went out with a bang. I am always a little reserved when it comes to discussing my personal life here. Let's just say I slept like a baby, and a nap in truly in order today.
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There are things that make my life perfect.
Sometimes I have to stop and wonder.
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There is nothing like a sick tummy to put a damper on things. There are somethings I am not going to let it get in the way of.
Mind over matter.!!!!
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I caught up on my sleep but I must have the stomach flu now. I am destined for more rest it seems.
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I'm sleep deprived again.
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Come and heal me, look into my eyes and feel what I feel.
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Sleep can be a truly wonderful thing.
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I really like this quote.
She knew that fear was useless,
that he would do what he wished,
that the decision was his, that he
left nothing possible to her except
the thing she wanted most....to
submit.
Ayn Rand
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I am in desperate need of a healing soak for my girly parts. It was waking me up, really
I'm not complaining.
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Daddy was here. The marks and the soreness serve to remind me of the pleasure I was lucky enough to receive, over and over again. I trust him to push me, and know when to pull back. I have never said no, because I trust in his ability to read me.
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I am finally giving in to my smoothie craving, off I go to get one, right now.
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Time to start lusting again.
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Oh, I am always calmer after Daddy has been here.
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I ache for his hardness. I long for his soft kisses that meld into a passionate dance of lust. I need his mouth on my glistening skin.
I crave for my bottom to be warm and decorated with lovely slashes that remind me of my devotion to him. Daddy, come and use me. Come and wake me in the night, I shall never resist.
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Life shrinks or expands with one's courage.
Anais Nin
Maybe this is where I get the strength to break the rules and make my own.
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Today I am reminded of a song, by The Eagles called A Peaceful Easy Feeling.
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Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Author unknown
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A slow descending spiral downward, manifested by the soft look of complete
bliss on my face, this is where I want to go.
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I wish I could set down a blanket and watch the stars. A hand softly stroking my hair.
No words are spoken but the beauty of the moment will remain always,
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I think it's one of those nights were I can't sleep. I guess I will try and read for a bit.
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It is odd? A change of plans.
A change can turn your mood around.
It is strange to cry over something you
have no control over, Something you will never have any control of. Where is the off switch?
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I can't understand why this person keeps sending me the same message, their view point on D/s. I don't know them, so I had no choice but to block them...
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I can't wait for Sunday...
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Hold me tight and all is right in my world.
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More sore spots.
I miss Daddy when he isn't here.
Sunday seems to far away.
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I can't wait for Daddy tonight. I long to hear him tell me what a good girl I am, while he holds me.
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I wonder if my breasts will be this sore tomorrow. Daddy owns them now.
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I just can hardly wait to be on my knees for him. Then lowering my head and chest down to the bed, my bottom high in the air, knowing he is watching me.
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Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age.
Anais Nin
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I love what you do to me.
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There are some experiences that are so amazing, that they remind me of this quote I love so much.
Our lives are not measured in the breaths that we take but in the moments that take our breaths away.
Author forgotten......
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I love to stay with you.
in this place that I adore.
In a space where only one thing matters.
Where time is our only restriction.
I wait and ache for more.
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Feeling safe, secure and treasured are all wonderful things.
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There are times when our path is different than we intended it to be.
Life is a journey to be enjoyed, embrace the laughter, the joy and often the tears.
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I received something very special, I have been wanting it for such a long time. It was so great. I want more.
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I am looking forward to a totally fun evening.
No details I am afraid.
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Well, as amazing as it sounds I have met someone who possess some very amazing qualities. I am really impressed. So, I will not be meeting anyone else..
Life really is very good.
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I can say that life is pretty good right now.
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I believe it was a wise move to take the photo I posted off. I viewed it as art but other's could not help post vulgar comments.
I did receive nice compliments. Thank you to those who did remain gentleman.
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This is harder than I thought. I do feel uneasy with having to say, no thank you.
The ironic thing is, the person I am best suited for probably will tell me, no thank you.
He is absolutely gorgeous.
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Things I should probably add to my profile.
I don't want a online relationship.
Please, don't take this personally.
I want someone local. If you switch, or are bisexual, or like to cd, or think you will get me to have threesomes with you, please do not leave me a message. Please send me a picture with your email and not a cock shot, please...Please don't bark orders at me
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I am looking for someone local.
I am not sure adding a picture was a great idea, it seems everyone came out of the cracks. I did receive many nice emails and some not so nice emails. The person who nearly stalked me a few years back, do not make contact with me again. I don't want to have to call your mom again. It's been a pretty interesting day.
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I have been on this site for a while. I see some of the same names all the time. I have noticed in this 2 year period or so, their ages
haven't changed, sure I would like to leave mine the same. I just don't understand why people don't address that.
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Well, I guess my photo hasn't been approved. Well, darn!!!
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Wow, I can't believe my picture got approved. I have always had the worse trouble with pics on this site. I will take that as a sign of good things to come....
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Well, I guess this isn't the right time for me to be in San Diego. I went ahead and signed another lease here in Sacramento. So, I see myself here for another year at least.
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I am looking for a person who wishes a roommate in the San Diego area. If this is something you are interested in please let me know. I can provide references, I wish to be in the area because my family is here.
Leave me a message and I will get back to you quickly.
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There are times in this life that you get what you ask for. If you set your standards high enough, this is what you will receive.
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I am once again seeking. I am in no great hurry, you can't rush these things anyways.
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It is difficult to gauge the true person when they aren't truthful with themselves. This amounts to their loss.
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This is for all those who didn't believe.
The one who thought my Master would
want to share me or bring other girls in.
WRONG! You missed out.
To the other one who is full of himself who said that because of my health I shouldn't be on this site WRONG AGAIN!! You missed out too.
Thank you to all you supported us.
Thank you to the higher power above who gave me the strength I needed and who brought a wonderful Master into my life.... |
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I would like to say things are going quite well. My health is improving and the Man I submit to is quite wonderful. I soon shall earn my status as a slave, I work at it every day.
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Happy Valentines Day! I hope everyoneh has a special person to spend it with. It is taking a long time for me to copy and paste all the email I wanted to save prior to meeting My Prince. Perhaps I should just forgo that. |
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I am always surprised to get email from Dom's, when it states I am taken. It gets better, they try to get me to fix them up but tell me they need to learn. I was nice but brought up those questions properly with no
response back. I am only here to save the emails Master and I have. I shall then be deleting my profile, as he has already done.
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He said training would be hard and sometimes just as hard or harder for him.
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Finally all the terms of the contract have been worked out. I am so content.
To the person who owes me money, don't think you are getting out of paying. |
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I had a wonderful New Year's Eve. I know that 2009 will be filled with personal growth and positive outcomes. |
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I am proud and honored to have been offered a collar of consideration, never compromise what you seek, be true to yourself and all that you need. |
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Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. The visions we create can become our reality.
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Lately, I wonder, has the time coming to change the course of my journey.
Realistically speaking, could it be I am using
up too much of my positive energy on this.
When all is said and done it is me here.
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I believe in the power of positive thinking.
I am grateful for all that is coming my way.. |
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I am missing everyone. I am unsure whatelse to say for a while. Life is good.. |
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I am back from my long awaited SanDiego trip.
I am still not ready to really say too much.
It was good for me. I need to go back soon.. |
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I think I have a handle on packing.
Perhaps when I return I will share
the reason I am going... |
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On the 31st I am taking a little trip to San Diego. I wonder what I should pack.... |
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I am still keeping my little mouth quiet for now..
I will only open it for one thing... |
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I am having some good feelings. I don't want to say more..I will keep you posted. |
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I am addressing this to the person who has now created two profiles that he has used to contact me with. FYI, I am smart enough to see the similarities and sometimes it is just plain obvious. Get over it and find someone your own age. |
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It is important to know our own value and worth. I find this especially true when people are so full of themselves seeking something they are not worthy of. |
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