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Male Submissive, 26, Orange County, California
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Male Switch, 22, DFW Area, Texas
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Male Submissive, 55
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About subincalif
I am a fit SWM who lives an active and exploratory lifestyle. I am seeking a dominant woman who I connect within inside and outside of the bedroom.
First, I think it's important to respect and like each other. If we can't have an interesting conversation, and don't laugh in each other's company (at appropriate times!), we probably won't enjoy the collar, leashes, and what not (or knots).
A true sub, on one level, loves it when his domme enjoys things that he does not (assuming they are not agreed upon limits.) During the activity itself he may be miserable at some point. But he will work through, and this will help him to appreciate his place, and understand that his place is to please. I am by no means a masochist, but something is wrong in a BDSM relationship if the sub is not miserable a certain percentage of the time, because that helps the sub shed any self absorption. In the same way, I think it's very important for the sub to tell his domme truthfully what kinks he enjoys and which he dislikes, so she can use this information as she sees fit.
So I suppose my personal bent toward BDSM is a desire to provide pleasure and endure humiliation, though I certainly accept and embrace the notion that the domme sets the direction.
Outside of BDSM, I enjoy hiking, biking, healthy cooking, traveling, museums, and spirited conversations over a glass of wine. My personality is friendly and outgoing, and I active in many non-BDSM groups, such as book clubs, hiking groups, etc.
I work out daily, and am in good shape. I enjoy biking, biking, weightlifting, pilates and yoga. I have a healthy diet.
I appreciate this is a BDSM site, and kink dominates -- and nothing wrong with kink -- but I prefer to start by getting to know someone as a person first. |
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Someone asked the best way to find a domme. I responded:
Be genuine.
Be yourself.
Approach a domme as just another human being.
Look for a connection of values before a connection of kink.
Look for someone whose company you enjoy apart from anything to do with BDSM.
Make the fact that she's a domme the last reason you seek her company, not the first company.
Take your time. And expect the process to take time.
Don't get desperate because that can lead you to pretend to be what you think someone wants rather than what you are. |
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