subinatrix

I am trying  like heck to get a video or audio entry to load up but I am not having any luck with that. The site supposedly records but I can't play it back to see how it turned out. So sorry folks  if the thing don't work, it wont work.

Wow folks.  Another lesson firmly set in stone.  I have been mistaken for the third and last time here, so I have learned.....IF

 IT is beautiful and has many beautiful professional  pics

 IT then plays you up and thinks IT  is witty enough to gauge your gender based solely on how you respond to IT's initiation of cyber-play rather than  the phone call or chat request offered BEFORE the play talk was initiated.

       If IT goes through an entire evening of general conversation, then initiates a little play, then sends a naked pic when nothing but the general conversation was requested and then thinks that being admired for beauty ( but told all the same if I fantasied about IT I would put the clothing back ON IT first) is a test of my gender.

It is mistaken. 

       So what have we learned today kiddies. I think the lesson we have today is that Lesbians on Collar me that are more stunning than real life.....aren't real life. 

       In the real world I have never met a lesbian who was knock down drag out gorgeous. And you know what, in the local munches I have never met a Top who was perfectly beautiful either.

      But what bothers me most about the lesson I learned, what kept me up all night was why did IT go through all the real-talk and the play-talk  and then degrade itself sending an unasked for naked pic, and when told in return that I DON'T SHARE PICS.....it accuses me of lieing about my gender. How does IT even consider itself Dominant?  Instead of a phone call, the test of MY gender was how I reacted to IT's naked pic?

mmm ok.  It even thinks it has covered Its own self by accusing me first and running to hide.  My stars I was IT's wank fodder not the other way around.

      So from now on ladies....if you got beautiful pic I demand web cam chat request if you think you'd like to incite any thing personal or fun. Ye shall be male, until voice or face prove otherwise.

Hello everyone. I guess an update is in order.  The most I have to say is all the frustration you have likely read over while perusing the profile pics that eventually lead you to mine. I am tired of seeking. I am tired of being confused because I might give in and talk to an interesting male if he shows he is of sound intelligence.  Intelligence is a great turn on, and SM play dates do not necessarily have to become sexual partnerships.  Mentorships also do not have to mean taking a Dom for my Dom.  I try to keep an open mind.  But know that romantically speaking I want to love a Woman. But I never have and some men take that as a hope they might save me before the lesbians get me.  But no one gets the love I want to give like a Lady can. A romantic relationship with a man is something my PSTD cant do. My mind seldom ever thinks of things to do with the male body. The idea of making love to a man as I would like to make love has no natural feeling in me.

Sexually speaking the body can be aroused, sure and the mind can enjoy playful dynamics. Hell a body can even be fucked and that may be enough for a Male.But it is not enough for me. Even among ladies I have attempted to date I have an instant loss of sexual idea when they do anything that reminds me of how a guy acts in a relationship.

Also I am turned off by mean wemon, they disgust me as much as sex greedy males. So if you are a lady who wants a HuCow, or a Dirty Slut cum guzzling fool with no other ambition in life but to be fucked.....move on. I have ambition I crave personal power in my life, and I won't compromise myself to settle your ego.  At best it should be a turn on for both of us holding each other up in our proper places.

I am turned off by the laundry lists of expectations that come with profiles either way.  I find myself wondering isn't there anyone who could be simply a spankophile?  Anyone with skills enough to know not to scare a noob off with spanking  plus ( dilation...eek...plus TPE)

I want learn my way thru the confusion I don't know if I am even supposed to be here. Many times after many frustrations I get a sence of inner strength that wants to shout "fuck it" let me get some kid and train them to do what I like. Which of course makes me a masochist switch and not truly sub.

For me submission is earned...it ought to become something I want to give to you.  For me the ideal person that I would want to have those feelings for has to be a respectable not vulgar person. Someone realilistic and classy, not horny and out of sorts with their own life.

(oh and gee sexy would be nice)

I am a spiritual person, in my dreams of having a lover to love I crave to explore sexual mysteries like Tantra. But I need the power of someone already strong and interested in that sort of thing, to provide the encouragement I need to feel strong and explore that with.

It might seem odd to anyone who passes this profile but equality intellectaully and physically come before submission.  IF they don't, then I might as well get on and train some vanilla for myself and forget the joy I might have wanted, in being lead by a worthy Lady.

And I think that is all I have to say about that.  I am tired of romancing the unicorn fantasy alone.  But this web site along with a few others are leaving me and my unicorn to rot.

Many of the more reputible Dommes that I have been reading in the forums, give good advice about how to spice up and mellow out one's profile so that it may be more appealing.  I cant tell you how many complaints I have read about needy self serving seekers. 

Many of those Dommes say that they wish that subs would include a section of "what they offer" rather than a laundry list of kinks they want to serve. And these Dommes also want to be approached as people by people who have other compatible interests.

In the interest of attracting a higher caliber Domme, I will be adding to my profile as I gather insight into the swing of things at CM. As I veiw my situation as not "free" but "unfound" . In a D/s relationship it takes two parts to make a whole, just because the parts are not yet together, doesnt mean that I am still not a part. And In a real sence my submission to my Mistress begins before I meet her, that I ought to be growing and maturing and gathering skills and generally getting on with my life so that I might bring a well rounded person in to her world. (ideally)

1) if you will not varify yourself by phone, or cam within the first week of substantial conversation, then i WILL not trust you and interest will die.

2) I am not a natrually horeny toad, and crave more out of my slavelyness than to be a hole to be used at your disgression. I am more naturally a servent in the classic assistant/ butler sence. I do crave an intimate relationship but god didnt give me all the same hormones as the average gal.  So lust is not leverage untill i am firmly bonded to you. SO though i want to serve you all ways ( within reason/SSC of course) too much is too much sometimes and i will shut down. Please familurise yourself with these terms Demi-sexaul, Asexaul Homo-erotic. 

3) I will use my talents to entertain you. Such as they are i can sing, dance, organise, research, plan events/meals/finances, massage, play gutiar sometimes, bring  a humorious and wise outlook, play devils advocate, waitress/server  (I'v imagined once that i would enjoy serving as a platter for a sushi party...ahh fun ideas)

4) My normal interests are intellectaul and spiritaul. I enjoy psychology, philosophy,i am almost always studying or observing something. I enjoy sitting outside feeling a rian storm brew, or cuddle and watch some old sit coms,conversation or a good movie. I'd like to tell you i am an avid reader but i tend to read in spirts and clumps, like a true adhd person. (geniusess call it sampling)

Well that is about all i have to say about that.

Happy Hunting y'all

Jessy

So far i am enjoying exploring this sight.  And have just discovered the forums. Now if i have put my foot in my mouth there ....it is a good thing i rarely comment in forums. Only when i am touched deeply.

That said, i'll interject that i am more of a loner and don't seek to gather a crowd of people to converse with, forgive me if i seem unfriendly if i am curt or dont respond. (can't subbies have progative)

I have had one scarey encounter here and the lesson i learned was this:

There are many types of bdsm lifestyle. To be OWNED takes on many expressions. Though i am a romantic novice, i have no intention to live in a cage, lick dog shit off your boots, be abused for your pleasure....(um unless thats our game that night) Be treated like pathetic propery, rather i am prime property, to be for mutaul pleasure.

My ideal is to suborinate myelf to the Mistress i have absolute respect for, and hopefuly...she will like all the same things i like...(cant subbies dream)  Anyway my point is i am not a hard core self hating masochist, i want a mentor, a master and a friend.

Um if you want me to be articulate and discribe myself to you, please dont block me before i can type a well thought out paragraph.