SubGurrl09

My Life in BDSM has been very tumultuous lately... and so i've concluded that i really REALLLLY wish CM had an 'Actively Seeking/Looking' option...

i've met so many men that were probably a great fit or connection for my situation but as of right now they're too busy, aren't ready to commit, or just wanting something casual for online play... i don't get it!

Isn't this site supposed to be primarily used for finding a partner whether it be for sexual or long-term situations? Should we put...i'm seeking a submissive...but not until a couple years down the road. Or check back with me in a few months, i might be ready.

I'm only 26 but i have my shit together...i work 2 jobs, pay my own bills, not looking for any handouts, i just want to find that connection and be with a Dom who i can serve and obey to my fullest. Be it tomorrow or months from now. I understand getting to know someone takes time and patience is important. But if i can put in the effort around my busy schedule, i really feel like everyone else can and should do the same or they really shouldn't be looking at all. I understand being busy or not ready for real commitment but also shouldn't waste people's time either...its not fair to all of us. when i'm one of the people searching for the REAL thing because this is truly who I am....

a Few Things to clear Up:

i am very much RELOCATABLE

my typical cut-off age for anything relationship wise/long term is 37, but that does not mean i wont play with anyone older who is local though...

mental.mental.mental. adore micromanagers.

thank you.

I am starting to really crave seeing bruises on my body these days...clearly its been way too long.

I want a man who says what he means and means what he says.

I want to be TAKEN.

Possessed. Completely owned in every sense of the word. i want a man who always calls me 'His' and knows i belong to Him no matter what. A man who understands i have opinions but knows my opinion is always to please Him. a Man i can be proud to serve and obey. someone with morals and goals. someone who loves when i'm a slut but knows i only want to be His slut. a Man who always wants to drive because that's what 'Men do'. i want a Man who knows i'm still a goofy little girl sometimes but with one look He can turn my world upside down. He isn't afraid to get dirty in all definitions of the word. i want a Man's Man. someone i can look at and get butterflies and quivers all at the same time.

I want my Alpha.

I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.

~ Anais Nin

*most perfect quote ever, words to live by...*

It will officially be my birthday in about an hour and 8 minutes.... :)

just got back from an exhausting but amazing weekend....BUUUT i have to ask...


Who's up first for giving the well-deserved birthday spankings ;) hehe


Hope everyone is well on CM!
xoxo -k-