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Male Submissive, 35, thessaloniki
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Male Submissive, 43, San Francisco/EB, California
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Female Submissive, 24
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About subgrrl75
So, after a few interesting experiences on this site, I have decided that it might be easier to put my thoughts on what I'm looking for in a list format. ?It is the most concise way to get across what I am looking for. ?Please read all the way to the end before contacting me, because I am not interested in a one night stand.
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1)????? ?You must be intelligent.?? That doesn?t necessarily mean a formal education, but you must be able to discuss thoughts, events, and ideas clearly and with a modicum of intelligence.? And don?t brag about your intelligence in a profile that is full of misspellings and grammatical errors.? Defeats the purpose.? Be willing to do things that are intellectually stimulating.? I am a complete science nerd, I do get excited about museums, science pub lectures, and things of that nature.? Please enjoy or at least respect science.
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2)????? I am an atheist.? Have been for 20+ years.? I don?t mind if you are moderately religious, as long as you don?t try to convert me, but I do tend to prefer fellow unbelievers.
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3) ? ? ?I am not poly. ?I don't share. ?I am monogamous, so please, if you are married, involved, have a girlfriend, or even if your wife "doesn't understand you" don't contact me.
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4) ? ? ?You must at least own a pair of slacks and a nice button down shirt.? I am certainly not the most formal person, but I do like to go out to nice dinners sometimes, and sometimes have professional events that I have to attend.? You should be presentable enough to go with me, and aware enough of yourself to know that casualwear is not always appropriate.
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5)????? Please be past the ?rebellion? stage in your life.? I don?t mind discreet piercings and tattoos, but again, I should be able to introduce you to people without fear that they will run away.? Also, no clothing with vulgar sayings, that?s so high school.
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6) ? ? ?Touch me, hold my hand in public. ?Kiss me. ?Frequently. ?Convince me that you love being with me. ?I crave touch.
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7) ? ? ?Enjoy spending time with me. ?Watching movies, hanging out, having conversations. ?Make me a priority, make me feel important.
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8)????? You must be very sexual.? I love sex, and thoroughly enjoy the time spent in service of a creative Dom. ?I am a pain slut, I like to be hurt. ?Be willing to hurt me. ?Physically at least. ?:)
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9)????? Talk TO me.? I am very much an introvert, and sometimes need to be drawn into conversation.? Do not talk AT me, about yourself, incessantly, for hours.?
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10)????? Be willing to be active with me.? I am certainly not a waif, and could stand to lose 30 lbs, but I do love to get out and go hiking with my dogs.? I usually try for a few short 2-3 mile hikes a week, and try to get in a 6-8 mile hike 2 or 3 times a month.?? If you can?t keep up with that, you?re probably not a good match.? Oh, and I am a morning person, usually on hiking days I?m up and going at the crack of dawn.? If you?re a total night owl, again, probably not a good fit.
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11)????? I am not extremely social, I often prefer an evening in and cooking dinner to anything else.? Again, the introvert in me means that I need to recharge some days after spending all day at work talking with people.? Be understanding of my time, and my needs to sometimes be by myself.?
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12)????? If you do ask me to go out and socialize, please understand I am not completely comfortable in a room full of strangers that I have little in common with.? Be supportive, introduce me, try to help me be comfortable.
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13)?? Have your financial stuff together.?? I don?t mind going dutch sometimes, or sometimes paying the tab, but you need to be able and willing to do the same sometimes.? And if you are going to do it, just pick up the tab, don?t ask me if I want you to get that.? When I am going to pay for someone I just do it.? It seems like you really don?t want to when you have to ask.
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14)?? Treat me like a lady.? Open doors for me, walk me to my car when it?s late at night (especially if you live in a sketchy neighborhood), and when I have a 30-40 minute drive home from your place at 2am be considerate enough to wait up until I call or text you that I made it home safe.?
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15)?? Be respectful.? When you make a date, don?t show up an hour late.? Be willing to say you?re sorry when it?s appropriate.? Use please and thank you.?? Be polite to people such as cashiers, waitresses and the like.? It makes an impression when you have manners.
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16)?? Surprise me.? Be spontaneous.? With a new restaurant, or flowers, or a kiss just because.? Make me want to serve you and make you happy.
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17) ?Tobacco products are a deal breaker. ?I do not smoke, and do not enjoy the smell of it. ?So if you use tobacco products we are most likely not compatible. ?Sorry. :(
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Hopefully that helps a little bit in deciding if you are the right Dom for me. :) |
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I was perusing profiles today and found a quote that I truly loved. It spoke to my heart.
"It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel."
? Cherise Sinclair, Dark Citadel
THIS is so why I do what I do. Why I crave pain, why I need touch, why I submit. The voices need to be slient, I need quiet. Focus. Peace.
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I feel awful that I have to say this, but apparently it needs repeated.
If you are a fake, or a flake, or not interested in a REAL relationship, please don't bother contacting me. If you are married, have a girlfriend, or other people you play with, please don't bother contacting me. If you are emotionally scarred, unready or unwilling to move forward, please don't bother contacting me. If you don't have the time, or the commitment for a relationship, please don't bother contacting me.
I've had a run of people who seem to be interested, pretend to be interested, then after involving my emotions, when it comes meet up time they flake out or bail out. It's gotten old. So please, consider what you're starting when you do. Be considerate, be kind, be available, and be ready.
Thank you. That concludes public service announcement #64. |
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Decisions, regrets, and “pushy” submissives
Sometimes we all make decisions we regret. Things we realize afterwards were not in our best interests. Things we wish we hadn’t done, that compromise our values, desires, and needs.
I was chatting with an acquaintance earlier about what lead to this decision. My loneliness, my need for connection, my need for pain. How difficult it seems to find that special someone I need.
The one that doesn’t back down when I push back. The one that understands my need to challenge sometimes. The fact that these small challenges are not meant as defiance, they are my own insecurities.
My asking:
“Do you want me….enough?”
“Do you need me….enough?”
“Do you love me…..enough?”
He then said something to me that spoke to my soul.
“Be pushy. Submission is best earned. Like breaking in a stallion, when it eventually breaks and looks at you with eyes that say it has become less than it was, you have both achieved something. Someone who gives it all without a fight gives it all too cheaply. Cheapness is not a desirable quality. If Ferrari started selling cars at the same price as Ford they wouldn't be as desirable. Anyone can have cheap things; the finer things come with a price.”
So, despite being called “not submissive enough”, “a spoiled brat”, and a “princess”, I will continue to push.
Because I’m not cheap, and I’m worth it.
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I know I am a difficult submissive...
I am not an easy sub. I am a career professional in my day life. My decisions can sometimes mean life or death. Everything is my responsibility.
I’m a perfectionist, I’m very hard on myself. This is the way I have always been. I would not be where I am today were it not for my perfectionist nature.
I’m a professional, I’m in control, it’s all me all the time. Being a submissive is a release for me. A way to let go of all the worry, anxiety, and stress in my life.
There are a lot of things I need from you (my Dom). Some are simple and easily given, others not as much.
I need encouragement, when I’m down on myself, and I think I’m not good enough.
I need to be reminded to take care of myself. Remind me to eat, I forget when I’m busy and caught up in my daily life. While you’re at it, remind me to eat healthy. Pester me to go to the gym, it’s good for me, and helps my anxiety and my insomnia.
I need you to tell me things will be alright. I take a minor issue, and blow it out of proportion in my brain. Ease my fears, let me know you care and are there for me.
I need you to listen to my concerns, to be my sounding board. To give me ideas, make me see a situation in a way I may not have.
I need you to understand that it’s hard for me to let go, when tight control is a habit, it’s difficult. I want to obey, very much. And I try, very hard.
I need you to put your foot down. If I’m being stubborn about something, know it’s most likely due to fear or uncertainty on my part. If it’s truly what’s best for me, then don’t back down. I will respect you more for it.
I need you to hurt me. It’s my release, and my most favorite way of pleasing you. It allows me to soar, and takes away the worry and anxiety that are part of being a perfectionist who is very hard on herself.
But most of all, I need you, Sir. Hopefully you need me too.
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Some of us love our bruises. For me they are a gentle reminder the next day of the relationship I share with my Sir. They are my devotion to him. My desire to please. My love for pain. My need for his touch.
Mark me………please |
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