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| Vanilla is fine for ice cream...
I am a 44 year old (look younger), attractive, single, professional woman, well traveled and well educated. I have no children; I have never been arrested; I have no financial problems and no big emotional baggage. I have a job that requires me to manage and mentor people all day long in heels and business attire. I am respected by those who work with me and am also known as a b***h by others.
I am also a total submissive.
I noted quite early on that though I enjoyed vanilla sex, I always found my partners just a wee bit too Clark Kent-ish. I wanted something more along the lines of The Hulk. I wasn't quite sure what that meant but eventually I learned. I met a teacher quite by accident a few years ago who understood my desires. He liked to dominate and instruct and I became his willing pupil. We explored my fantasies and my eyes were opened to many forms of pleasure that I had so craved. I discovered very quickly that once that Pandora’s Box was opened, it was not easily shut, I wanted more.
So I am on a quest…
I give totally and freely of myself and my desire is to please my Master, first and foremost. I am not bratty, pushy or a drama queen. I am also not a doormat; I am not into humiliation. I will not start off any relationship calling someone Sir or Master, that is an earned title and one that must be heartfelt. I do not want a Daddy; it's just not my thing.
I need someone who is experienced in dominating and mastering; one who is willing to train a new subbie. I desire a Master who is compassionate, fun, fair yet strict when necessary; a Master who appreciates the gift that the submissive gives of so freely. I also desire a Master who is monogamous and looking for the true intimacy of a committed relationship. I can only trust and totally open up to someone who is totally committed to just me and my care and well being, as I will be to him.
There are many things that I would like to explore. There are still many unknowns for me. What I do know is that I am open minded, eager to learn and ready to get started.
(Ok, now that you have read the missive can you understand why most people who meet me would never believe I am submissive? What can I say, my public personae is much different than the private.)
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I can't believe it's been three years since the last time i posted.
It makes sense in a way...
I guess the desire to be vanilla sometimes takes over. You think it might be easier.
However, casual conversations about Halloween costumes and what a good a dom you would be bring back very good memories (of being a subbie - sshh - no one knows) , a big smile and a true passion.
Anyway, I need to make my bed and climb into it... |
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To be or not to be, that is the question...
You have to love Shakespeare, he always seemed to have an understanding of the heart of the matter, even if he didn't know what all he was expressing.
Do you deny the fact that you love the feel of the leather against your skin, or being tied up or the look of the bruises on your ass after a good, hard spanking...
Sometimes, it just feels like you are drowning in all of the emotions and you just want to breath clean, fresh air, but then the air doesn't quite fulfill you... |
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Well, nothing new to report. I have to admit that it is difficult with my work schedule to do anything but work. So, if you have sent email and I have not responded, I apologize - things have been hectic the past six months - lots to do and not enough hours to do it in. Hopefully, things will slow down soon and I can start doing something other than going to work, talking about work and dreaming about work. |
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Outing ones self...
I've only done this three times: once to my teacher/mentor, once quite accidently to a couple I hang with and once on purpose to someone who I thought I knew well.
The first experience was awesome. It started quite innocently in a rather deep conversation about sex and it lead me to my first real life experiences with an wonderful Dom.
The second time was a guess by the couple, actually the female of the couple. It was very early on in my relationship with my teacher/mentor and the male of the couple mentioned I had a "glow about me".  The female quickly guessed it was because I had a Master - out of the blue. I think she is a bit of a Mistress herself and could probably read me like a book.
The third, it was not such a good experience. To this day, the person still believes a sub will sub to anyone. He just does not get it.
I wonder why when I am generally quite open about my sexuality, I find discussing this particular aspect of it so difficult. I wonder if I could be missing out on some opportunities I may never have had... Then again, I do not want a repeat of #3. |
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| Age: 26 |
| Lome,
Togo |
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