Submission 101

How to be a submissive, a subbie, a delicate wanting persona in need of a dominate. I will write this as if a female is the submissive and the male is the dominate. Not enough ink for the other combos. The choice of what you are looking for are varied, from just friends to a play partner or on to a life mate. It is good to keep options open so they can reject a candidate if they are just not what you want.

First item is a self name. If you view yourself as a fragile person, then a fragile name is good. A flower, a plant, or any soft sounding name is good. If you want to be used, then a “I want to be used…” name is good. The nice thing about any name is if you screw up, you can delete the name and just re invent your self again as another one. Or you can decide you are really a domme and can enter the world on that stage.

The art of the photo. The safe way is to say upon request. That way one can keep the office from finding out your in some kind of populist described “deviate” activity. You can create a photo. A good pose is to look up into a camera. Soft light, a light blur and a wide eyed innocent look is good. Always wear black. It can be any thing, leather, a sweatshirt or even an old Halloween costume. Color other than black can come later. The hair will need to be fixed to project the image wanted. If you want to be wild, then a wild hair style. One who wants to be a little girl, a little girl image. I could go on but you should get the idea on this subject now. Showing skin is a subject that depends on what your looking for. If your just exploring, then no skin. If your really in a party mood then show skin. Keep in mind, dommes use a skin shot to land sub men. The male, either sub or dom can be confused and conquered with great ease by skin. Keep the power of confusion a trade secret at all times. If all you want is to party, then skin away. Now you have a pic and a name, now for the intro you will need.
The art of the intro is varied. Some say little but list a few hundred wants and thoughts. Other write dissertations on what they want. Some good words to use are “exploring”, or “finding” myself. Any term that indicates the desire to find or learn is good. Then you can describe yourself as a “natural” or “trained” in some way carries well in an intro. Training can be found in reading a list of protocols and just staying quiet. Most do not know and look little beyond this image on the training or experienced issue but are afraid to say so. If you use an insider term, know what it means. You need to keep the intro open and elusive. You can list some limits that would be items you really do not want to do like murder, stuff like that. If you list some really different interest, be ready to do them. Use hint terms that will catch an eye of the looking for a thrill trolling dom. Some of the best are prelisted with the term “curious about”. That way you have the way out. Most all men know so little but use the dom image as a know it all title. A woman will use that submissive title for the same purpose and respond the same way. The best clue will be no answer to a question, and the reason is they have no idea what your talking about.

Now for the quest of “the one“. Are you looking for one of those story book or movie doms? Or are you looking for someone to take care of you cause the last guy moved out or went to jail leaving you with kids and bills? Keep in mind, the super prime doms do not cruise online and will usually only go to the plastic ones anyways. If you want a dirty one, then be prepared for the extras like funny social germs. Unless you have the training, background and resources (lots and lots of money) to attract a super prime, do not even play the game. Look at sites and just read before you post your self, that way you can get a good idea of what to troll for. Remember the line of progression one follows. The online flirt, the email, the chat by phone, the meet and play, the cohabitate and collar. None of these may be in this order. Usually by then you have gone as far as you can with him. If so, you separate and start over again and be sure to draw as much money, goods, or things of use from this one as you can. That way it will not be a total lost. He will do it and try to make you feel you’re the wrong one and not him. Some can do all of this in just a few days. An entire relationship is a week is possible but a well planed relationship may last as long as a month or even a year. Never let the guy know you are watching him, you must always appear to be trusting, accepting and open to him within your stated limits. Good terms to try on him to test the waters for the future are “next 30 years” or the great “no one has done it better” These terms always work. If you watch him close, you can tell when he is ready to notch it up with you on the “relationship” ruler. Remember to set the hook only when that time is right. The guy will indicate when that is by declaring himself in some way to you. The most common is the collar routine. Most attach little more than the value of a dance step to this and will run far if the real commitment item, marriage is ever mentioned. If they do indicate a solid commitment in any way then hook, reel, filet and cook. After some time you will discover that most online “doms” are very dumb and inexperienced. The real ones will test you with things while the phony’s will tease you with things. You can keep up a communication with the phony’s but never let any tell you what to do unless you really need that rent money.

NOW, the whole idea of the chase is to meet your special one and keep in mind that a relationship built on lies and deceit will not last. A good standard is to keep in mind that when your older, do you want this guy to trade you in for two half your age or be there giving you soup telling how sweet your eyes still are?

Please note, read this with humor.. except the last line,

The male Dom 101, some of the basics…

One of the very important item to being a dom is what to say when you want to meet a new sub. With the advent of the internet, many ways are now out there on the web sites. First is to seek out and find several that grabs your eye. After you find these several possible ones then you send out your “you strike me as special” emails. Make sure that the emails sound like they are directed to just one and not a form letter. You need to determine the level or where the mind of the target is at. They can be a basic submissive who just wants a man and will be most anything he wants. This type will usually ask some very dumb questions and knows squat about D/s or that other thing BDSM. But they know to say they are a “submissive” and will “serve a master well.” There are the posers who seem to be submissive but are spiders waiting to eat you alive and should be avoided at all cost. Then there is the slave and they are the hardest to understand because of there inability to think on any planet. There is no simple and basic submissive so looking can be a hard progress. One should do the looking sober or at lease on a good nights rest. Drunk, high or over tired a poser looks the same as a real submissive, and the difference found out after the damage.

The intro is the first thing one says to a submissive. You can choose not to use a greeting and go right into the intro or you can use sure fire names. A good surefire intro name is “Dear interesting one,” or one of its variants. Another is the basic “Hello,” and then you lay out the package of your intro. One that should not be used is anything with the name “pet” attached. There are not enough band aids in the world to patch up a dom after a female reaction to that one. As I have said before, greeting that makes the submissive seem special to you is good and you can use it for several different subbies if you keep them well spaced apart.

The body of presentation of your note is the important thing. One needs to read very closely the wants, needs, and kinks of the submissive your writing to and tailor the letter sounding like your interested in the same things. Keep notes so you can keep track of what your leaning is with each one you write to. It is good not to bring up the term “poly” for at least the first several letters and only that you are curious about it. Few have any idea what it means anyways. I have noticed that most submissive seem to pull to dirty men. Somehow they think that an immoral, incapable of love, lazy, male sloth makes the best dominate life partner. So use that weakness, it is OK to say you have a low pay hard job for a living. One must reserve the professional jobs to those who are only looking for money. A note about those money hungry gold diggers. You will never earn enough. But, you can play there need to rise to a challenge. They like to mow down man charges, but if you play it coy and give them a challenge, you may get some benefits.

The number of letters you exchange can guide how desperate the subbie is. If you have to write them more then five times before any results, then they are going to pickle and should be ignored. If they want to meet on the first letter, the bait has been taken. It is good to say your primary ride is a bike. Borrow an old used dirty bike and not one of the fancy ones. You can also email a pic of you setting on your “ride’, just be sure to say it is in the shop for the meet. Like I said before, some reason submissive think a male dominate should be dirty, so do not shave, bath or comb the hairy parts of the body. There are plenty of temp tattoos out there, so you can tailor one to make the total image package. Piercing will always be a problem but most costume shops carry fake ones. I have noticed that a hinted history of violence, prison and drug usage is sure to impress. This type of image and basic description on the internet is a sure fire catcher as long as they say that your clean now and no known physical health problems. Mental problems are OK as long if they are said to be controlled.

A tip is to use a cheap pay as you go phone for the contact phone number. This way that pesky present live in or wife do not catch on so quick or not until your ready to dump them. One should keep in mind how much security you may need on the hunt. That live in or current one does have very direct access to much of your life so passwords and coded messages are very good to use. If the prospective female calls to much without getting a hold of you, you can tell them that you could not pay the bill that month. Most just say ok or they offer to pay it so they can call you. One can make good money doing this. Most subbies will believe any pile of baloney served to them thinking it is steak or better because they want to. Very few will sit back and think if you keep them rocking, You will get what ever you want out of them. Then when done with them, be sure to tell them they failed you. They will think they were the problem and you will be guiltless. The next grad of dom 101 can pick them up with ease then. An subbie can fall for the same line many times over and over and over.

NOW!!! A true submissive will see through all tricks and when you meet one, they are the gem of the universe. When you find your one, you will never need to look again.