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dom51
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smyway11
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| well, moved to an new state. found another path, not sure where its headed. my attitude adjustment as not been completed yet. He's slowly getting around to it. i think He may need a little help in the direction. He has noticed that the whippings don't work ~smirks~. any suggestions? send me a message. i will make sure He gets it.
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First thing's first. my condolences to Ms. Fawcett, Mr. Jackson, Mr. Cronkite, and Mr. Mays' families....so sad.
well to catch up on me, i have since been relieved of my collar. not by my, or my Husband's choice, but because someone came in and decided that they wanted to walk out with it. they took it while i was sleeping along with my cellie....never a dull moment around here....
my Husband is still bouncing back and forth between being vanilla and being a Master. i've been dealing with this as best i can. sometimes i take it well, this schizophrenic way of life i've come to live. But most times i'm annoyed to no end and since i've shut my flippin mouth and just let Him figure out the way He wants to go, things seem to get harder. *sigh* still working through this.
But we are moving soon, so maybe the change of scenery will clear His head. i hope so, i still have the want and will to serve Him totally and completely. but i'm starting to think that He may see Himself as a Dom, but He doesn't want me as His slave...or sub.
if that's the case, what do i do? |
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 well, for someone who claims he doesn't want to be a Dom anymore, he sure still acts like one. Mentally, i'm still fighting him. He knows it. He says and does some things that just make me wonder "what the hell are you thinking".
For example. We are having some problems here. He claims that i don't want him (although i'm married to him, tell him constantly i love him, and try to cater to him in any way i can). Then he tells me that he doesn't want to be my Dom and that i can find someone else. Now he's telling me that we're still having problems and that i can only consider Dom/mes right now. wtf. What do i do? Do i continue looking for Dom/mes and find some ppl that i would like to serve and just keep telling them that "he says that i can find someone else, but now isn't the right time so i'll keep You posted"? In my head, that is putting me out there as somewhat of a tease. Because the way he acts, i'm never going to get an answer. And i know that Dom/mes have better things to do with their time than wait for someone like me.
i'm actually getting a little pissed off and really annoyed at the back and forth of his decision making, and i feel like something is missing without some part of this lifestyle...
i'm confused and about to be angry.
*sigh*
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ok, i haven't been around in awhile, but i'm just popping through here to fill out my journal. To catch up, i've been introduced to group that functions around my area, however, i haven't had time to meet anyone. W/we've been dealing with the loss of a job and bills piling up. i must say, that my attitude adjustment is a little harder for my newbie Husband. i have a mouthpiece and a bite. my Husband, well...
He's stressed. |
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ok, i'm sorta poppin' my cherry wit this, so i'm going to go slow. as many ppl saw in my profile i don't need help anymore. but now i'm looking for other ppl in my state that knows the BDSM D/s community around my state. my Husband and i are seeking some buddies to hang out with and possibly train me further and help Him further. I do love a hot brunette or redhead Mistress. No toilet stuff, needles, bloodletting, or the special N word (don't act like U/u don't know).
We also need to know some cool places to pick up equipment. Gags and other things to shut me up would be welcome to my Husband. i told U/u i'm a sub in the midst of an attitude adjustment...maybe someone could help Him fix that too LOL). Well that's all for now. those with info about the arkansas BDSM community please let U/us know. |
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| Age: 23 |
| L.A. and O.C,
California |
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