An entry from my personal journal dated 5/29/06--
I realized perfection just as I awoke this morning... collar around my neck, restraints still dangling one from each wrist.  It was how yesterday ended, and helped me transition gently into today.  It is Sunday so my lover and I slept late.  "Good Morning sweetheart" are the first words I hear.  "Good morning daddy," is my response this morning as every other.  Before my feet touch the floor he spreads my legs and makes me cum, and then brings me vitamins watching to make sure I drink them down.  We pray.

"Ready for a mocha?" he asks.  "mm..hmm," I reply.  We load the dog in the car and head to the coffee stand.  A biscuit for the dog, mochas for each of us and we head back to his place.  There we are greeted by one of his roommates.  We sip coffee with him and make morning conversation.  Only after we are alone again do I realize my collar is still on & visible above my clothing.  I am horrified at the thought that our worlds have crossed, that my privacy has been invaded and it is my own fault.  I don't want to defend the choices we make.  I already know few will understand.  I've paid a high price for judgement in the past.  I am afraid, and anger masks my fear.  I want nothing more than to take the collar off, dispose of it, and never see it again, but daddy forbids me.  He tries to tell me it will be ok, that I am ok, but I can't hear him.  I can't speak or look at him.  I can't respond even with sounds the way I've grown accustomed to doing when he leaves me speechless.  I've left him.  I am in my own world now.

He breaks the silence.  He tells me to go to the bedroom and take off my clothes.  Not knowing what else to do, I do as I am told... I always do.  There is nowhere to run, but I can and do hide under the covers, naked all but the collar I now loathe.

In seconds he is behind me gripping my hair, his mouth next to my ear.  He whispers, "Don't ever ignore me again."  He pushes my head down and holds my face against the mattress as he fucks me without saying another word.  He knows this was the only message I could hear, the only way to bring me back to him, the only way to make me feel safe again, and by the time I am swallowing his cum I know it too.

"Let me get your bath started," he says.  I snuggle up in the blankets and wait for him to return.  He takes the collar off, takes my hand and leads me to the tub.  As always the water is perfect, and the room is filled with gentle candlelight.  He bathes me... paying special attention to every finger, each toe.  I follow his specific instructions... "lean forward so I can wash your back... stand up baby doll so I can wash your bottom, sit down, lay back... lets wash your hair."  He tells me he loves me, and I feel it in everything he does.  I see it in his eyes.  He adores me... every inch of me.

He helps me out of the tub and dries me off just before jumping in the tub himself.  I'm at the mirror when he gets out and begins brushing my hair.  He pushes on my shoulders and guides me down to my knees so I can put him in my mouth.  He watches in the mirror as I suck and lick him.  He pulls out and says, "Stay there."  I kneel at his feet while he shaves, and then he pulls me up to look him in the eyes.  "When we go out today I want you to address me as daddy no matter where we are or who is listening," he says.
"O.k." I respond.
"O.k daddy," he corrects me.
"O.k. daddy," I comply.
After a busy week filled with independent "grown-up" responsiblities it takes him a while to reel me in, get me where he needs me to be, and this is his way of making sure I stay there, stay submissive, stay his little girl.

Its not easy keeping me there, especially as I prepare to go back into the outside world.  Without thinking I say something about what I should wear, but instead of a response from the bedroom, he appears next to be, grabs the hairbrush and tells me to bend over.  I realize immediately that I have not followed his instructions.  I bend over and put my arms around his waist.  My knees buckle whis his first impatient blow.
"Stand up," he commands.  I do and he completes the spanking.  Before leaving the room again he reminds me of what I should have said and how I should have said it.  In the mirror I see the hairbrush shaped welts forming on my skin.  My eyes are watery, my cheeks are pink, and my heart is full.

The rest of the day is lovely.  I remain in sweet subspace on my outing with daddy.  By the time he brings me home and undresses me I am satiated in every possible way.