SomethingCatchy

I'm always learning things about myself that surprise me.

ORIGINAL:  SwitchNSpanky
I do see a tendency for Subs to become more childlike / dependent on their Top simply because the dynamic calls for that. And when it works well for the couple people become comfortable in their roles.

SNS wrote this on the forum. It sums up my experience with D/s relationships, and it also reminded me why I'm incapable of a D/s relationship with my husband.

When I love someone, I want them to be strong, capable, and pick up the slack that I can't handle. I want to be partners, not dominant and submissive. Loving Tink was the first time I'd ever experienced that kind of dynamic when it comes to BDSM. I had never felt that way before, it was all new, and I was angry that nothing I was doing would work the way I wanted it to.

I've come to realize that I cannot allow myself to become emotionally involved beyond friendship with an s-type unless I want that power dynamic between us to dissolve.

I've also come to realize that if I play with Tink casually to spice up our sex life and release some top-tension (c) that I experience some pretty severe top drop. I'm still trying to figure out how to pinpoint the exact moment I need aftercare, and I'm failing miserably. I end up feeling resentful because he's not doing *something* right, which is absurd and immature. I don't even know what it is that I need him to do.

Had an appointment to keep in Chicago and did a spontaneous tourist trip along with it. I was really impressed with the Field museum, even though the American Museum of Natural History in NYC trumps anything I have ever seen in my entire life. The Field had a great selection of taxidermy animals and I geeked out to the ornithology department.

THINGS I LEARNED TODAY :

I had no idea bears are relatives of the dog family.

Every time I look at a stuffed lion I feel physically ill and almost vow to become a vegan.

There are some birds out there that are ugly as sin.

Taxidermists have a sense of humor.

Bragging about your sex life is one thing. Bragging about it to the point where it makes you sound like you're dumber than a box of rocks and disease infested is so completely disgusting that my brain fails to comprehend a suitable description of my revulsion.

Happy Independence Day fellow Americans! This is definitely my favorite holiday ever. It's a day dedicated to freedom. What's not to love about it?

'I'll do whatever you want.' 

When I hear these words coming from a stranger I immediately shut down any interest I had in the person who wrote or spoke them to me. I live in the real world. I do not subscribe to some fantasy world where unicorns shit rainbows and elves make cookies in trees.
I have zero interest in anyone who lives in a fantasy world. I want someone who is capable of being rational, sane, and possesses a healthy dose of common sense.

Stood up again but had a great Founders beer and watched the Jetsons at Stella's downtown. 

Going to the Pride parade tomorrow. I'm not participating but definitely interested in seeing what happens. Some of them get a bit crazy and some of the people are freakin hilarious. 

Was stood up today, but still had a good time. There was a live band setting up, but I decided to head back home (they were taking way too long to set up) and stopped at a nature preserve. It was fantastic to walk around and the best part is it's within walking distance of my apartment. Dogs aren't allowed, but I plan on going out often.

Also my roommate is leaving tomorrow morning. That means I get to walk around naked! I'm so excited to finally have the place to myself again.

I'll be the asshole who tells you not to have a good time this weekend.                                                                      

MEMORIAL day isn't about remembering people who were murdered by drunk drivers  because they were incapable of being rational adults and not drink and drive after the  family BBQ.                                                                                                                            
MEMORIAL day is about remembering our military service members who have              struggled to keep our country free for centuries.                                                                
So grab an iced tea, stop trying to drown your nephew because you think it's funny to     bully little kids in the pool, and be a rational adult and don't drink and drive so that       families don't have one more thing to remember on MEMORIAL day.                         

Adopted a 10-12 month old pit bull mix yesterday and brought him home from his neuter surgery today. I'm very excited to get to know him. He's typical of a pit bull. Extremely affectionate, nags you for attention, follows you around everywhere and wants to know what's going on and why. He's reverse brindle with a black face. Out of all the dogs at animal control when I walked by his kennel I just knew he was something special. I hope he exceeds that first impression for years to come :)

There is an incredibly large amount of homosexual men who insist on making themselves look like clown versions of women. Do other homosexual men really find this attractive? I'm completely baffled by this. I've always assumed gay men are attracted to other men, not men who make themselves look like clown versions of women and call their anus a 'pussy.' 

Not only are fat people proud to be fat, now they're threatening to get physically violent with their dominant if that person insists they be healthy. 

 'He wants us to eat healthy and exercise. What a jerk!'

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And I can't change

Even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

And I can't change

even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

My love my love 

Is the same love

Holy fucking shit

The new Muse album (2012) is a-fucking-mazing. You if don't like Muse, I'm sorry for you. Anyone who loves prog and space rock would love this album. Hello Mr Matthew Bellamy - welcome to being a grown up!

While I've always enjoyed Muse, this album just blows me out of the water. I'd definitely pay 60 dollars to go see these guys, but I might have to bring another pair of pants.

'I would have you right here on this desk until you begged for mercy twice.'

Irene Adler was, by far, the most sexy dominant person I've ever seen in a show/movie. Take that devious brain, stick it in a man, and be still my heart!

A poem -

Tongue-in-cheek

Sarcasm

Wit

Humor

Narcissism

Hedonism

Jealousy

Fear

Why is it that men who want claim things like 'I will not love you. I am only interested in fucking you until you are pregnant' ALWAYS ugly?

I haven't seen a single one of them that's actually physically attractive to me. My taste in men ranges, but even if these men weren't into impregnation fetishes I'd still consider them very unattractive.

Sometimes I wonder if there's a genetic link to 'strange' and 'weird' that's also a cause for physical features being 'off'. I know that many boys and men who are into geek stuff have certain features that are considered the nerdy look and I do not find it attractive at all, but I think most of them looking that way is a product of their habits and hobbies. There are gamer nerds out there who don't look ugly to me because aside from spending way too much time with video games they lift weights, get some sunlight, and eat healthy.

There's a little cove I want you to meet me at. It's beautiful and it's heartbreaking. It makes you wish you could die right there so you'd never have to leave such a magical place.

We'll sit in the wet sand and let the sun warmed water lap against our thighs, soaking our shorts and dragging silt into discreet places. We'll watch the gulls fight over the remains of a black crab that was unfortunate enough to get stranded after the tide faded.

You'll hold my hand and pull me close to you, tugging me down with you as you sink onto the earth with a heavy, happy sigh. We'll lay there, side by side, hands joined, watching the fluffy white clouds dance across the sun.

'Can we be happy forever?' I wonder out loud. I turn my face to look at you and you're smiling. You nod and squeeze my hand. 'Forever,' you whisper. The gulls scream as one of their friends takes off with a sizable piece of crab. We watch them fly overhead, chasing each other.

You and I, there in that quiet little niche of paradise. Holding hands, enjoying the sun, at peace with nature and the world.

Today is so boring that I've gone on a food prep/cooking frenzy.

Pinto beans with turkey sausage and white, long grain rice

Cut roasted chicken with fire roasted red pepper pesto and butter

Mashed sweet potatoes as a snack

Butternut squash skinned, diced, and refrigerated for soup

Sweet yellow onions skinned, chopped and frozen

Sweet potatoes skinned, diced, and frozen

I haven't had to run the heater all afternoon because the stove and oven have been going non stop. I can't imagine the torture the poor dogs are going through. All those smells!

River is currently crunching on the back/ribs/whatever is left of the chicken after cutting her up. Waste not want not, and it's good for her teeth!

Now I get to bleach the kitchen floor when she's done eating and clean up the apartment.

Someone told me I look like a horse that's worth 15 million dollars. I'm flattered!

I rescued a Malinois pup from a Louisiana shelter and have had him since Monday. He's having a problem dealing with the newness of everything and is riddled with anxiety over just about anything that happens. I decided to use an ace bandage and do a body wrap to see if it'd work for him and...

Within seconds he was a completely different dog. He's still shy but his tail immediately relaxed, came up, wagged even. His panting was less frantic. His pacing had purpose (he was smelling things and not just pacing). He was able to investigate something that fell on the floor instead of running away and hiding.

The only bad thing about the ace bandage is that it started slipping down his body too much and was touching his sensitive spots and he started freaking out about it. I'll be getting him a proper Thundershirt as soon as I can and reserve the wrap for desensitization work.

If I read anyone using the word 'alpha' to describe their personality one more time I may just scream. The animal behaviorist in me wants to slap them upside the head and learn them a thing or two.

The word has lead to decades of abuse and misunderstanding and using it to describe people is still perpetuating an unwelcome and unhealthy myth. When the man who studied wolf behavior and wrote the book on pack theory (where do you think you're getting the words 'alpha male' from?) turns around a few years later and says 'I'm sorry, I was wrong about all of it' and no one listens to him it's just a bit annoying. Just a bit.

I've been thinking about something I wrote on the forum.

Sadly FEELING protected hasn't happened very often despite being around capable people, but when someone does create that feeling of 'I'm being cared for and protected' I almost worship the ground they walk on since it happens so so rarely. I can remember only a handful of times where I felt someone had my back despite me having theirs all the time.

I'm not even sure what to say. Realizing this last night has made me sad but I'm not entirely sure how to go about revamping/revitalizing my life to include people who don't make me feel like I'm 'in it alone.'

I think the logical answer to 'What can I do about it right now?' is to shut this profile down.

I just woke up and realized that I had made plans to meet someone... but then the guilt of waking up at the time that I was supposed to be 15 minutes down the road went away when I remembered that I really had ZERO interest in meeting that clown. Anyone who's that old and doesn't have a clue how to treat people is mostly a waste of my time.

When you're talking to me, just be yourself. Don't try too hard to be something you think I might like because it will always feel fake to me and put me off. I love it when people are comfortable with themselves and can do what makes them happy.

My dog's feet smell like Fritos. Anyone else wanna tell me that eating corn chips isn't gross? Because I just gagged when I got a whiff of her toes.

I want to be his bitch. His boy. The thing he uses and controls and leaves bruises on. I want to be emptied and filled at the same time.

I want him to trail his fingers along my scars and admire what I've done to be myself totally and completely. I want the comfort of knowing he accepts me entirely.

I'm terrified of the rejection and pain and anger and rage. I want him to protect me because I belong to him.

I want the world to accept me, us, everyone for who we are. When will it end?

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Truth

Hurray for new jobs!

Communication. It's important to me, and if it's a failure before we even meet then I don't see it getting better.

I hate being a woman. Why's it so damn hard to find snow pants that aren't PINK ?!

There are a few bad apples that make me remember that I really should watch what I tell people. So many men here remind me of the idiots I wasted time on when I was too young and stupid to know better.

There's a reason why you haven't found anyone to dominate you.

I've started getting some very strange emails from people who seem to be on drugs or very drunk while writing them. Lots of verbal diarrhea with no real purpose for anything being said.

Fucking poodles.

Another good ride on Quin. She was relaxed and responsive at the walk, but I need to teach her how to trot. What a shame she's so old and no one ever took the time to teach her these things.

Someone wants to do a 'written assignment' for me (no idea why). I told him to give me a 6000 word report on the origins and usefulness of KNPV.

10 points to anyone who can give me a short version!

'Oh god no.' You whimper. Your eyes are so wide they almost seem to take up half your face. The fear and realization shooting through your mind is plain as day.

What's the matter with you? I thought this is what you wanted! You've encouraged me for so long to take you and use you like a bitch. You've told me of dreams you've had where you are being subjected to a strap on. So why the hesitation? It really isn't that big...

You struggle against me and that pisses me off. Okay, fine. Have it your way! Click goes the tiny padlocks on the cuffs to hold you down on the solid wood bed frame. Stop complaining so much or I'll gag you.

Your eyes well up with tears and you whisper a prayer to whatever deity you might believe in. You're so melodramatic. If you would just relax you wouldn't be in so much pain. Here. See? Stop dancing in place and just let me get the cockhead in your hole and it'll all be okay.

You whimper and hiss as I push deeper into you. It's okay, pet. Just be a good boy. I pull back almost all the way out and push in again, causing another hiss to escape from between your clenched teeth. I run my nails very lightly across the skin of your back to make you feel good. I want you to be supple and open. Not tight and unresponsive. I want you to enjoy the treat I've gotten just for you. You did ask for it, didn't you? Aren't you happy with a gift given because of a job well done? Don't look a gift horse in the mouth and don't complain about how much it hurts because it's 'too big.' It's small enough to fit and that's all that matters.

My nails turn into finger tips to gently massage hard muscle limp. I am still pulling back and pushing in slowly and your take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Good boy. Can you hear the smile in my voice?

I grab your shoulders and ram my cock into you. I swear you're going to break my bed if you don't stop. Or maybe your wrists! Using my right hand I push your face into the mattress, and using my left I pull myself on top of you, wrapping my arm around your neck for grip and stability. Your muffled cries of helplessness are the most exciting thing I've heard all day! Scream all you want!

I love how your back feels against my stomach and breasts. The way your muscles contract against mine, how your back arches every time I ram into you. I find myself tightening my grip on your throat and I enjoy feeling the rattle of your breath and how your cries of pain and humiliation are subsiding. How your struggling is getting slower. I know that I'm pushing you to an edge that you are afraid of and it's got me so wet I'm dripping down my thighs and onto yours.

Finally I am done. I feel exhausted and satisfied. I feel as if I've just had a round of marathon sex that could last me for years. I gently pull out of your worn out hole and feel the cool air dry the sweat from your back that is on my breasts. I wrangle that damn contraption off and toss it to the side so that I can climb back on you and kiss you and murmur in your ear about how happy you make me. You're hiding your face from me and I can see wetness on the sheets. Poor pet, was the ecstasy of my making love to you so much that you cried? I tease you and I can see your face redden. What's got you so upset?

I untie the cuffs from the bed frame and roll you over to force you to look at me and get a surprise. You've been lying to me. All that time that you were begging me to stop, crying out while I fucked you and you enjoyed every single second of it. Look! There's the proof right between your legs! What, did you think I wouldn't notice? Did you think you could keep secrets from me? I pinch the head of your penis hard and you squirm but you don't dare move your hands to stop me. I can feel it pulse in my hand as you try to control yourself and fail miserably.

Are you frustrated, boy? You nod halfheartedly. Do you want to cum for me? You nod a bit more enthusiastically. I order you to masturbate and beg me to allow you to cum. It doesn't take you long before you're whimpering my name and with a red face from either shame or effort (or maybe both) you beg me to let you finish. I hold out my cupped hands and nod. Once I hold every white drop you immediately get on your knees, tilt your head back, and open your mouth with your tongue out flat. I've trained my little slut very well.

You know you're treading dangerous ground. The way you smile at me, roll your eyes at my jokes, pushing my buttons harder and harder. You know that it's just a matter of time before I want to take you and ruin you and damage you and create a pile of weeping, bleeding flesh at my feet when my hunger is finished.

Do you know that I will love you for giving me the right to break you? Do you know just how cathartic and satisfying it is to have your bones and muscles straining to stay in the places they were meant to be while I make it so difficult for you? Do you know that you will both hate me and love me for everything I do to you and that you will be happy with that conflict?

You don't have to be afraid if you don't want to be. I will be there when it's over and your nerves feel raw and your emotions are exposed. I will accept you as you were, as you are, as you will be for me. I will help you recover and come back down. I will caress you, pet you, allow you to curl up at my side so that I can feel your heart beat against me and hear your breathing change from that hitching gulp of air to a sleepy rhythm.

And then we can do it all over again.

Do not push your kinks or fetishes onto me without even bothering to ask my name. Desperation is not only unattractive, it's also insulting that you'd think I'd fall for it.

Serious question - While browsing profiles I keep coming across people who say 'I only have a few hard limits. No children, no animals, no scat.'

Since when did BDSM = pedophilia and animal abuse? It makes me think that these folks honestly believe that if you're into BDSM you might be a child molester or a dog rapist and they must clarify they are not either of those things.

I rode Quin, the horse today. I spent a lot of time on the ground introducing the new bit and nose band to her and she was happy as pie to accept them and just go with the flow. After I was sure she was comfortable we did some round pen work and practice leg yields and lots of circles and a few figure eights. After I dismounted she was chewing pretty happily on the bit.

We went for a hand walk around a short trail to just have fun and exercise a bit. Her owner is pretty cool and I'm really looking forward to working with Quin and getting to know her 'mom' a little better!

I'm going to talk to Clark this evening about signing the lease paper and hopefully he agrees!

I looked at the Arabian mare for lease this afternoon and I think she has a lot of potential. I asked her for a trot and she had a hissy fit about something (probably heavy handing her mouth since I have ALWAYS used a french link or loose ring snaffle and she was wearing a tom thumb). I ended up falling off and she took off and was nervous about me after that. I felt terrible for probably hurting her mouth. I can tell she's very sensitive and needs a quiet hand, so I'm looking forward to practicing the skills I already have and getting to know her better!

Unfortunately she had a bowed tendon years ago that ended her racing career and no one cared for it properly. It's healed wrong and hard as a rock. She's also very short, although Clark told me I don't look awkward on her. Maybe I'm just forgetting how short Grant was when I got him.

I'm very excited to say that Saturday I will be going out to look at a mare someone has for a half lease. Gratuitous horse pictures will be added if I decide to lease her.

Again - if I ask you a direct question I expect you to answer it. If you don't, it's a sure sign we will not get along. At all.

These questions are basic. Hobbies? Books? If you answer evasively or refuse to answer at all, I notice because I'm watching out for that sort of behavior.

I'll be honest with you -

I've been meeting with someone who seems to be the bee's knees and I've been mulling things over about this person and our potential together.

That said, I keep getting asked 'what are you looking for in a sub?' and when I tell them that information can be found on my profile they hone in on the fact that I insist anyone who is involved with me in any way is respectful, fun, and able to let loose and not be stuffy and only D/s oriented. I tend to keep getting men asking 'so you want a friend.'

No.

I want a friendly person who I can spend time around and enjoy myself. I want that person to be submissive so that I can enjoy doing horribly wonderful things to them and then turn around and go to the book store and have a hot white chocolate while we talk about mundane 'boring vanilla' things. You know... like a REAL relationship that incorporates scening and playing and D/s ALONG WITH real life?

It's not that hard to understand. Many people who have contacted me have understood it perfectly without me having to explain. I tend to err on the side of caution that tells me 'If this guy can't understand my profile, he's probably going to drive me absolutely fucking bonkers in person and I probably do not want to spend time anywhere near him.'

That doesn't mean I won't give you a chance if you suddenly have an 'ah ha!' moment, but there are others waiting in line before you and you're going to have to take a number.

Boring people are boring.

You're a bitch for putting the dog on collarme and for your information, people in your state sucks in every way........

Fine then. You all can look at pictures of cute kittens!

The Crane Wives - youtube them. I love it. Thanks Clark!

Example of the kind of email you should not send me -

Am I the only one that's bothered by the Ashley Madison advertisement Collarme is allowing?

'Life is short. Have an affair.'

What the fuck?

A combative, disrespectful attitude towards complete strangers who have done nothing to you is a sure sign that there's something wrong in your life. If you feel the need to lash out at others because you're in pain, PLEASE seek medical help. You are destroying your self worth and self respect, as well as creating toxic relationships with everyone around you.

I just finished talking to someone from this website that made me think about what I really want in a submissive man.

There is a reason I constantly refer to you (the male reader) as a man. I love men. I love masculinity, and I love the fact that men can and often do behave as men should.

When I asked this person why he wanted to serve ME he said 'I live to serve.' I told him that I live to train dogs (a passion and big hobby of mine) but that I don't want to train just any dog. That I want a specific dog. I have my reasons. I can talk your ear off about what kind of dog I enjoy training, why I want to do things like that, how it makes me feel.

This is what I want to hear from a man that tells me he wants to serve me. I want to know why. I don't care if he lives to serve. That's a generic answer and men are very good at giving them and skirting the real 'issue.' There are a few exceptional men who will willingly give me details of why, and there are men who can be pressed into telling me why. But the men who don't give and can't be pressed? There's nothing that turns me off more than a  man who's unwilling to stop and think for a minute instead of going with a gut reaction that's purely male and not at all submissive.

Submission often requires that you step out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldn't normally do. I am most definitely not asking you, a stranger, to submit to me. However if you're going to declare your desire to serve without me prompting you, I do expect something.

I love the blog Down, Boy. I've been going through the archives and am thoroughly enchanted.

Joe isn't doing too well, and neither are his pot-mates. I think the old lady who kept them together too long did irreversible damage. Poor Joe is limp and lifeless while George is thriving and growing like a weed and his brother from another mother is completely dead and crispy. Tropical plants and Michigan winter do not mix.

Also, Murphy says hi.

George's cousin now has a name. Welcome to the family Bob!

Work was short, since several people backed out this morning, but I was able to come home early and take the girls to the park for some fun in the mud. The rag on the end of the flirt pole is saturated with mud. Gross. At least they had fun, and they're currently dreaming little puppy dreams so that they can wake up around bedtime and be keyed up again!

It's been about two years since I've been around just because I didn't feel like dealing with things.

I got married to C, I changed dogs around. Now I have a sweet 6 month old Malinois puppy and C still has Shelby. Everyone else has been adopted or passed away.

Tonight I separated a funeral planter (who the hell came up with the idea of giving live plants instead of flowers??) in hopes of saving some of the species that lived in it. The heart-leaf ivy (named George) that I rescued from the middle of the street after some stupid college student carelessly put him on the top of a car and drove off now has a cousin that has yet to be named but I'm thinking. Ideas are appreciated!

Here's hoping there's interesting people in Michigan, since there's a lot of non-interesting people in New Orleans. I fucking hate Louisiana.

Wanna do a good deed this year? Give even a few dollars to heart worm treatment for Waffle, the Bull terrier.

http://randomroads.chipin.com/waffle-the-bull-terrier-needs-heart-worm-treatment

Waffle will be adoptable after he finishes treatment. If you'd like more info on waffle, or you'd like to donate directly to the vet office for confirmation that your donation goes to a good cause, please get ahold of me.

Picture in profile is Waffle!

My dog is enthralled with my boy's crotch. It's both funny and scary, since her head is almost as big as his is, and she's very well versed in how to destroy toys labeled 'indestructible' within a few minutes. I think he smells really musky, and don't particularly like it, but apparently she enjoys eau de le man stink.

The other dog dances her front feet in place, waiting for him to take off his work boots at the end of the day and promptly rolls her body all over his sweaty socks. She also loves sticking her face into his boots and inhaling. She does this with rotting animals and road kill. Neither of us are really sure how to take that.

I will definitely miss both of them when they're gone. They've both taught me the true meaning of joy and purpose. I will always have dogs, because of the amazing lessons they never fail to teach even the most knowledgable people.