softnsexy73


softnshysub Submissive Couple, 48	softncomfy4u Female Submissive, 40, southern ontario	softnnsilky Female Submissive, 35, Roanoke, Virginia

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	About softnsexy73 I don't know what is everyone's deal one this site but I am here to find something genuine. The one who makes me weak at the knees and I just want to follow is every command. Looks do matter and if your married move on. I am looking for something to last a lifetime. To be protected and cared for. Yes I am looking for love. Maybe I just don't fit in here but the mental control a Dom has over a sub is amazing. I want that, someone to work my inner workings. I do have a child and she is number 1 in my book. My hopes is to find someone who understands when it's the right time and when it isn't. Children are the most precious gifts to the future. I have met a few great men off of here but unfortunantly things just weren't right. I need 24/7 and some just can't or aren't looking for that. I maintain a very vanilla lifestyle throughout the day and I believe this is how life should be. I was raised in the 50's household type. My mother respected my father and any decision he made, and as his child I was also to respect his decisions. He is still the greatest man in my life and I can only hope to be like my mother and be the woman behind the man!

Leaving for the DMV shortly....Ali my car is getting her personalized 'I'm Pet Friendly' plates today!!

Have you ever had those days where you are just sick enough that you don't want to do anything? That is how I feel today but I just have to push through the cold and carry on. Too much that needs to be done today!

So the house I grew up in in Branson Missouri is nothing but a few walls and large trees snapped in half. I just want to say thankyou to all of those who have kepts us in your thoughts. We have tornado survivors from Joplin's deadly tornadoes helping rebuild! Such a devastating thing to happen to Branson so close to the start of tourist season! Every sign that remains standing has the same comforting message "We will rebuild Branson together" and that is what we intend to do! Bible belt or not we have always stuck together!

Hear we go again today, but I have to post this song. I have played the piano for years and believe music can release any emotion you want to feel or get out of.

"Words I Never Said"
(feat. Skylar Grey)

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco]
I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building 7 did they really pull it
Uhh, And a bunch of other cover ups
Your childs future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts then, wait here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place, that's on the up and up
Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust
You get it then they move it so you never keeping up enough
If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the fucks”
Dude is dating so and so blabbering bout such and such
And that ain't Jersey Shore, homie that's the news
And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth
Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist
Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit
That's why I ain't vote for him, next one either
I’ma part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful
And I believe in the people.

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco - Verse 2]
Now you can say it ain't our fault if we never heard it
But if we know better than we probably deserve it
Jihad is not a holy war, wheres that in the worship?
Murdering is not Islam!
And you are not observant
And you are not a muslim
Israel don’t take my side cause look how far you’ve pushed them
Walk with me into the ghetto, this where all the Kush went
Complain about the liquor store but what you drinking liquor for?
Complain about the gloom but when’d you pick a broom up?
Just listening to Pac ain't gone make it stop
A rebel in your thoughts, ain't gon make it halt
If you don’t become an actor you’ll never be a factor
Pills with million side effects
Take em when the pains felt
Wash them down with Diet soda!
Killin off your brain cells
Crooked banks around the World
Would gladly give a loan today
So if you ever miss a payment
They can take your home away!

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said, never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

[Lupe Fiasco - Verse 3]
I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence
Fear is such a weak emotion that's why I despise it
We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth
So scared of what you think of me, I’m scared of even telling you
Sometimes I’m like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I’m locked inside a cell in me, I know that there’s a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through

[Skylar Grey]
It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said!
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said

It's only been a couple of hours since my last journal entry, but I just got home from getting Ali's oil changed. Her oil was VERY black...stupid car lots who can't change the oil before they sell them! But at least I got new tires when I bought her so I can't complain too much!

This will be a new experience for me today but a funny one. I have been changing my own oil in all of my cars since I was 16, then a mechanic in the Army, but today I'm taking it to the shop....Ali (my new Nissan Altima) I guess is just worth spending the money on!

I have been doing a lot of reading just to see where some people stand in this lifestyle because I still can't help but feel like this site just isn't for me. Every time I check my mail it's someone wanting to have a random "hookup". As the mother of a two year old that is just not what I need or even want right now. I need something more even though kink is a plus.

So what I like to smile! So what I enjoy life! Why does everyone seem to hate on the world? Just let people live their lives how they choose.

My heart is for the taking. Why are the best ones so far away!

I'm not trying to please the world, not everyone who crosses my path was meant to be in my life. I just want him to come into my life. I know he is out there and he will be the one to care for and guide me. He's intelligent, attractive, mature and in this for the fulfillment of life not just sex.

Have you ever had someone in your life who is always there but you don't notice them? Now that it has come to light that he likes me, how do you break the news to him that you don't like him back? That he can't give you what only that one guy can!

Today? So far so good right. To those who read my journal this one is for you. I write my feelings here because you are the only one who understands. Life is a test if you ask me. And I have chose this lifestyle because it's the path not often taken. I know he is out there, and I have a feeling he already knows me! He knows my inner mind and soul. He just wants me to be at his feet. And I'm okay with that!

So here I am once again up very early. I am beginning to wonder where life is going to take me. My 28th birthday is approaching in less than a month and I still have no idea why I'm here (other than my daughter). You would think I would have figured it out by now but I haven't, I just feel more confused than ever.

"Invisible"

[Verse 1]
I take these pills to make me thin
I dye my hair, and cut my skin
I try everything, to make them see me
But all they see, is someone that's not me

[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

[Verse 2]
Here inside, my quiet hell
You cannot hear, my cries for help
I try everything, to make them see me
But every one, sees what I can't be

[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

[Bridge]
Sometimes when I'm alone
I pretend that I'm a queen
It's almost believable

[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

I'm beginning to think that I will never find what I need!

Yes I have a child and I believe I can still get the lifestyle I need while being vanilla in front of her. This isn't about sex I need someone to take control help make decisions and guide me down the right path. Maybe this website isn't for me because everyone seems all about the sexual aspects. I need control and discipline in and out of the bedroom. Someone who says hold onto my belt loop so I know you aren't far behind. Things like that.

I am thinking of leaving this site. Some of you feel as if you can talk to me however you feel like you know me and my life. When in fact you know nothing about my life. I want something long term. I want someone who wants what is best for me not put me down. And you know who you are.

I don't understand why S&M by Rihanna was not allowed in some countries. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but...chains and whips excite me!"

Hi everyone! So my search has had its ups and downs but overall is going well. Still waiting for the one who makes me tingle.

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