SoftKajira

Ugh .. I'm moving back to Va... le sigh.. I SOOO don't want to, but it's a temporary necessity.. I'll definitely be traveling as much as I can while I'm there. I already have plans to go to NY and possibly Las Vegas by the end of the summer so I suppose I can't complain to much!

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Life has been so lovely .. despite the few.. speed bumps along the way. I'm happy.. I am definitely happy!!

I've gotten a few messages wondering about me not seeking a Master when I wrote that I was sad at Frolicon watching other people being owned. I am a slave of course I will miss being owned, of course I will feel sad when I see other people surrounding me enjoying ownership. Of course I will miss it and desire it and so on. That does not mean I need a Master right now.. that does not mean I am secretly seeking and don't know what I want... lol.. What that means is I am seeking FRIENDS just as it says.. and that I am 100% sure of what I want. I do not want a Master right now, I will not want one within the next year even.. If you can't respect that don't message me. Thanks!!

So I went to day 1 of Frolicon.. and I had a totally unexpected reaction!.. While it was interesting in and of itself.. i can't say it was "fun" cause I didn't know anybody and was a total nooblet :) but it wasn't  horrible.. Yet.. ... I didn't expect for it to make me feel sad.. and it made me incredibly sad.. I ended up coming home and crying for an hour afterwards.. why? I was wondering the same thing.. Why the hell would a supposed to be exciting convention make me feel like shit?.. Well because I saw people kneeling for their Masters and being flogged and all that good shit.. and I REALLY felt the pain of being unowned.. The envy of seeing other women able to be on their knees to their owner and yet.. I have none and probably won't for a long time.. Frolicon ended up being a very lonely, painful experience this year. I would love to go again in the future, but I WILL NEVER go again if I am single. So thankfully I didn't pay for the whole weekend.. that would have been a bummer.

I am SO going to Frolicon!!.. Sounds like awesome, I think I'll love the experience!

Just a mellow weekend.. Hopefully this week brings the good things I need to happen. I dislike uncertainty so very much. So tomorrow I'll have to make some things certain so my days can be beautiful.

Awww man today was just like.. the crappiest day EVER.. and I knew it would be crappy because my ex talked to me for the first time in a month today.. and BAM as soon as that conversation happened the day went downhill.. including the weather.. LOL.. how weird is that?.. Ah well tomorrow is another day.. and it will be so much better!!..

So good to be home.. today was the best day EVER!.. well not ever but it was the best day I've had in Ga ... beautiful.

There is no shortage of "BBC" Masters on here and in seeing some of their dick pics.. it's NOT really BBC.. I mean just because it's black doesn't mean it's big. Sorry guys... maybe you want to try being recognized for your skill in owning a woman rather than your dick?... Just a thought? :D I just thought that was funny to see.

The desire for a Master has messed me up I think lol. I meet so many guys that take me out and talk to me and such and I keep looking for that "it".. That spark of dominance and I swear when I meet somebody with it I'm just TOTALLY happy. I've only met two guys so far with even a hint.. both are of course vanilla.. One totally drives me crazy he's like perfectly what I want.. and yet he's not lol. The other.. is strictly vanilla sort of deal with the natural dominance thing. I find myself wanting to be a slut but unable to actually be one in action though. So I just try to service the vanilla guys in non sexual manners by giving massages and such.. They of course are like "wow how awesome" and it is awesome :D I feel good about making a man feel good.. especially since I can do it without having sex all the time.. This lets me know I'm still not completely over the one I just left. I probably should just get laid and move on.. but dang getting laid is hard.. because nobody is him.. and I don't want them to be him, I really don't.. but still.. odd and convoluted I know... I figure it's just because I was with him for so long and he is what I'm used to so every other man feel's.. strange.. because hell they are strange lol. So should I get me some strange?!!
eh.. if only it were that easy..