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| I'd like to find a loving dominant, as the book describes. A friend who is a Daddy Dom helped me realize how wonderful that can be, and how well it would suit me. I'm not talking about wearing diapers, but part of me — a part I like and value — is still a kid. It helps me find joy in small things, helps me be playful, helps me to prevent life from beating me down. It also makes me want to have someone who will cherish and nurture that part of me, as well as helping his little girl do better in life and grow to her full potential.
I'm a few years out of a very bad "D/s" relationship but its marks still shadow me. I put it in quotes because the so-called Dom was a manipulative, lying sociopath (I guess that's redundant) who was using D/s to get his jollies. It didn't leave me angry at all men nor will I be taking it out on my future relationships, but I'll probably need help in feeling safe in the activities that I used to enjoy.
One thing I do know is that I'm looking for a man who is looking for a whole person, not a generic someone who matches his kinks. I want to get to know you before I hear about all the nasty things you want to do to me. If we don't match as people, we're not going to match as anything else either. If what I first described fits you, please write. I don't get on cm very often, for the obvious reasons, but I'll get notified about the mail.
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I am trying, for the last time, to see if I can find the right man for me here. So many obstacles, but yet I try. This is the only place I can speak openly of what I seek, the only place where the right person will understand.
I hold little hope, but it's not extinguished, or I would not be here now. |
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Family (i.e., parents) stuff has gotten in the way of my looking. Except for going down for Thanksgiving, I think I'm actually going to be available for a while. Hopefully someone will (still) be interested. :/ |
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So much for wishful thinking. But, finally, the Spring/Summer from Hell is almost over. Of course, so is summer, alas.
If you read my profile, wrote a thoughtful letter, and I didn't respond, my deepest apologies. Should we get to know each other better, you'll find out what's been going on. |
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Yep, finally out from under. *glug glug*. Now there's all that catching up on everything else, of course. Sigh.
But one of those things is trying to find guys here who are compatible, because it's been way too long since i had sex, much less had a real connection with someone. (And, no, that doesn't mean I'm looking for casual sex.) |
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I can't believe how long it's been since I was here. Two months?! I've been drowning in work and family stuff (of the parental variety), and haven't had the time, energy, or focus to be here. I'm finally coming up for air and hoping to find a someone. "The someone" is too much pressure, I think, although that would be ideal. |
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Auggh. Been away for too long, and not because there's a new guy in my life. Life has just been getting in the way in so many ways. But time's a-wasting, and so I creep back in this afternoon. |
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For those who have written to me, I have been out of town for a while visiting my folks. Sorry for the long delay.
I should note that I will send a photo to people who have shared theirs with me or put one in a profile. I'm not trying to hide myself but I also don't feel like putting myself on display, given how few men seem to have put pictures up. You may recognise me, as I had another profile with a picture on it. After rethinking what I was looking for, a fresh start seemed to be a good thing and thus a new profile. |
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I wonder it's because I didn't post a picture or because I was upfront about wanting, in the end, to find the right person that I've had next to no responses. If someone wrote to me in a way that reflected that he read my profile and that it interested him I would be glad to exchange pictures. Or perhaps it's my age. It's too bad I didn't discover what I was and what I enjoyed when I was prime target age, not only because I've lost all of those years of being myself and having a far more exciting and rewarding sex life, but because I would be flooded with suitors.
Or maybe there aren't that many men here that are interested in getting more than sex, or have the specific goal of obtaining a slave. With the right man I would probably be deeply submissive (is that a slave?), but there's no way to know what we'll be to each other ahead of time. I'm not someone who is an instant slave, and setting that as someone's goal seems shallow.
I don't want to go on vanilla dating sites. I'm not vanilla. I want more than vanilla sex, more than just a little spanking. I wish I were vanilla, because there are many many vanilla men out there looking for a real relationship, but I'm not. So what am I to do? |
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| Age: 23 |
| Bangkok,
Thailand |
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