So someone asked me these questions and said perhaps i should post them here for other Dom's to know as well...
Tell me about being owned. How long?
this girl considered herself owned for 16 months and wore a collar for 6 of those.
What was the best part of that relationship?
The best part of the relationship was serving him. Striving even after he released me to be the best girl i could possibly be. I really can't say what the best part was... all that comes to mind is being his lily girl.
What was the worst?
Having to have to come home.
How long have you been out of that relationship?
for about 2 yrs.
How and why did it end?
How did it end... it just did. I think he tired of my neediness... it was very hard when i had to come home, and i did not do very well managing it. I wallowed in it. which was wrong... and feel exceptionally regretful for. he found another girl closer to him, who fulfilled a different need he had at the time... and did what Masters do i guess and choose to do what was easier for him and let me go. I think he cared... i think in his own way he still does... are there things i had hoped he handled differently... yes... i am a little scared i think from some thing’s... which is why it has been so long since i visited this part of my psyche. but do i have regret or antimosity... no absolutly not.
What kind of service did you provide?
I was his slave girl. i would do my best to serve his desires and wants...
Did you play?
I am unsure what this means..
What did you look forward to and what did you dread?
perhaps this will sound blanket. but i looked forward to being at his feet... having him use me for his whims... what i dreaded was the moment he left.
How did you find this in yourself? How old were you? How did you know?
Well i have thought about this for quite sometime... i always played little games as a young child and would be the kidnapped girl that would sit bound... and touched... amongst other things. those childhood games manifested into young masturbating girl fantasies. When i was 16 my boyfriend asked to tie me up. I promptly refused.. embarrassed that it was really what i wanted that more than anything..
when i was 18, i met and fell in love (and ended up marrying) a man a few years older than myself. he dominated me in all aspects of the word. He was very much my owner even though there were no titles or collars to be had. he would make me serve him and taught me how to be his pleasure slut. one time he made me express my darkest fantasy and i revealed this one, i think he was hoping it would be a girl on girl thing... but this dynamic scared him... he had violent tendencies and he was scared to open this Pandora’s box so we never did.
after we split i had a bf that enjoyed aspects of bdsm and that was the first time i could really play around with being a submissive. however i started to tire of it not going beyond the bedroom.. cause in real life i was defiantly the one in charge... and i confess, i wasn't really a fan of the alpha role. i got a computer and discovered chatrooms on yahoo and that is when i fell into the rabbits hole... i learned phrases and anagrams like D/s... M/s... kijara... RT... i learned that there were people actually living this dynamic in real life... i learned that old childhood fantasies were not just weird things but signs of my submissive nature.
I started playing a little with people online... and then had my first taste of total submission with an online master. it only lasted a few months... but he had me doing things to myself... hundreds of miles away... just because he told me to. It was crazy and surreal and felt good. i begun seriously craving the chance to experience that dynamic in real life. trying to push my bf into taking complete control... but he was never that guy.
a few years later i found this website and decided to dive in a little deeper. Up to this point I was wanting to find someone in person and hope they had the desire to own a girl as much as i desired to give myself to someone. (Yes i too used to feel that my submission was a gift... not just any man deserves my total obedience... some men are not that logical or informed, let’s say)
After quite a bit of time i found a man that took me on as a trainee... he owned a 24/7 slave and liked to play with girls... especially new subs... he accepted me as a sub-in training and helped me realize that i was truly a slave... i wasn't especially attracted to him physically, but he could make me obey just through his presence...through his words. he took control and would do things to me.. and even if i wasn't really into it... my body would ready itself and respond... now we never had sex... although he did make me cum a few times... but all of it was for his pleasure... and that is when we realized my true kink.... it is to provide pleasure... that is it.. i get off on getting others off. my pleasure comes from pleasing others... i have recently learned to accept this about myself and have found ways to also protect myself, because this tendency can really keep you vulnerable at all times and can be a dangerous place to be. but i also love this about myself... and hope it never changes....
after i stopped training with the Dom. i started seeing Master and this is when i truely realized the depth of my submission... it is hard to explain to those that have not experianced it for themselves... but each breath i took was for him... i realized right at the end of my time with Master... right when he was considering my release... i realized, unfortunately too late, the depth of my submission.. i know i would have gladly cut off my pinkie if it were to please him...
where i am with it now... well i am embarrassed and deeply regret the strain i had caused my master... i was a good girl a lot of the time..but the times i wasn't... well i wish more than anything to go back and change it, i wish more than anything that i could change those moments... but alas... a girl can only learn...
