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Most of the time I love the rain but today i'm walking around with wer panties. Not fun. Maybe I will go get some ice cream in order to stop the heat in my pants.
And if ur going to comment about the journal make it constructive. Just cause your a "Dom" doesn't mean you know everything.
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Considering the lifestyle I'm seeking I'm not fucking anyone on the first meet.
You can hint at it or beg bit it's not happening. In fact I won't even meet you. And you married men...you know who you are, looking for a fuck buddy cuz ur wife isn't kinky enough for you, don't bother me. You made that bed, now deal with it.
Yes it's officially Monday, irritated before noon. |
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I'm itching to get a new tattoo. Something in the tramp stamp area but it'so cliche! But no tattoos until at least summer time. |
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In a bitchy mood.
So sad...beer time? |
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I almost deleted the account, when I hot the delete button nothing happened. Maybe because I'm using via my iPhone it didn't take. |
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Apparently being honest is not working for me. What's the fucking point? Maybe I should tell nothing but lies then, maybe then I wouldn't feel like an idiot. |
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I had a great convo with my mentor today (it was via text buy it still counts) and even though I feel like giving up, I won't. It just won't be my life mission. I'm not going to settle for just anyone, just like the Dom I too have demands....needs my desire to submit doesn't mean i'm mindless or weak.
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I log on daily to blog and there's nothing interesting going on. How many times do I say I'm horny?
Blah.
Oh masturbating is overrated. Just sayin'
'i'm not a size 4.' |
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I've been on this site 2 months and I feel like what need and want will never be met.
Riddle me this:
When a Dom says he wants a sub who can think for herself, does he really mean it?
If I were to fuck everyone I meet for the 1st time I would never get any work done. This constant demand is making me not want to continue with this lifestyle.
I'm damned if I and damned if I don't.
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I don't like to sleep I'm the nude but last night my room because too warm to sleep due to huge comforter, long sleeve tee and sweatshirt. I took off the sweatshirt & as soon as I removed the shirt my nipples were achingly erect. I had to tug & massage them so the ache would go away. This allowed me to sleep some thoughts of serving entered my dreams. When I touched my aching pussy it was wet with need. I tried get a release but never found one. Hopefully the ache will be gone in a few days. |
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When I'm super emotional I can't communicate well...I can run super self centered to bratty nothing in between. A friend sent me a message to notify me she can't help me any longer. I basically cried as I tried to figure out what the he'll I was going to do. I planned to respond tonight. But while I was trying to think of a nice way of saying everything was ok i hurt a good friend. I love her to death and I feel like utter shit I hurt her cause I was being emo. Today not a good day. |
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Days like this I just need a hug. Everything is ok but I just need one. I'm running around my job making sure everything is just right so far no slip ups. I had to send the idiot in the other office to stop sending incomplete shit to me, that frustrates me because they make this huge deal & then they don't do their part. Dramatic much?
The sun is already gone, that means the rain will be here tomorrow.
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The things we do when we're drunk....? Get finger banged at the bar. Yes this has happened to me and it seems like a good idea at the time but the next day i ask my self....seriously did you let some guy finger you?
Not this happened to me last night just saw a guy make out with random guy and then got fingered in the ass. It was new for me...it was very interesting. |
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Hungover...completely and utterly. trying to wake up. |
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I'm not a flake when I don't meet people I don't feel comfortable. I've met 2 people from this site because there was a certain amount of comfort. If I'm not meeting after 1 email exchange there is a reason for that.
And no one is coming into my apt unless you my Dom.
Too early to be this irritable.
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I'm trying to sleep but my nipples are too hard. Then I started thinking about my exGF, her kisses were amazing. (((sigh))) |
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Cali is in the mist of a rain storm, days like this makes me want be thoroughly used sexually just to warm up.
Just because I have the thoughts doesn't mean I'm going to meet you at th 7-11 parking lot to suck your cock. Just ramblings.
I have been talking to someone special but he is too far :( this makes me a sad (((sigh)))
So instead of having great sex I'm going to throw on some sweats, uggs and hoodie and watch tv. I might tweat the nips to show some love but that's all....10 months...wow. |
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Ok sorry about the meltdowns. When I'm confused and sad I over think things. But now Im no longer in limbo, I'm seeing things with new eyes. I'm meeting some cool people on the site.
Refocused. Revitalized.
Let's go! |
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When something is new it's super fragile and when you don't make sure it's in a good safe spot, it can break. |
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I talk about sex because 1) I'm not having any 2) it's what I know
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I don't....I'm not good at verbally expressing myself, I'm like a blind man in an unfamiliar room just trying to find a clear path. Today I feel like someone place a blind fold on me, spun me around to find my way out of the obstacle. |
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Sometimes I'm like a kid in a candy store & want to explore everything, fearlessly flying but reality sometimes causes a sudden crash & that fear I try to hard to ward off rears it's ugly head.
Sitting here I'm thinking about my future submisson to someone and hopes he understand I'm offering more than my body for his use but I'm giving up something else, im letting go and trust he would keep me safe.
And I have to remember to meet his needs. What I can't meet one of his needs what do I do then?
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My sub concious is horny teenager, I can never balance it out. |
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I wonder how many men claim they're single but really married? I wonder sometimes, I have to remember people aren't always honest. So sad, I hate thoughts like that....causes wrinkles. Ick. |
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I don't like sleeping naked, it's weird just don't care for it. And I find it disturbing to waking up from tweaking your own nipples in your sleep. It's obvious my subconcious is telling me something.
Hello horniess you decided to visit for a while? Wow what a shocker!
maybe I should add this to my motto: 'baby if it's not rough then it isn't fun' |
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He brought me soup! It was fun to sit on the couch for a few minutes. |
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I hate being sick, my head hurts, my body aches all not in a good way. I didn't even go to work. Why is it when I have a fever my nipples go insane. Thankfully they're resting peacfully.
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I'm sick & miserable.
Watching a movie. |
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Last night was fun, I spent it at home drinking vodka with my best friend. We cooked dinner and had a mini marathon of our fave show. I tweeted some silly pics of us. I don't need crazy crowds on nights like NYE.
Some friends wanted me go hang out I just didn't want to make the drive.
(((sigh)))
now I'm waiting for certain someone to return home, then can see where it goes...
Yah!
Better go bestie is banging on my door. |
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There was a time when person word was golden, I rarely questioned it because I figured like me they were being as honest as possible.
Nowadays I'm a a little weary, of I hear something that sounds like a line I take step back. If I go with my primal insticts I'd Fuck everything in sight. well NOT everything but u get it right?)
Finding someone who understand who's side of me is extremely important to me. I can't take it likely. I have to give part of myself up and I need to able to trust you in that moment. Not just sexual but emotionally as well. The sexual part is the easy part but trust isn't so easy.
Feed me lines & it'll take me a while to believe you.
That's all for now. |
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Crazy weekend! Met up with few girlfriends and our discussion on sex were quite funny esp because they don't expect it from me but he'll I had shit on my mind and it was fun to laugh it off. Fuck toys! Lmao!
Haven't slept since Xmas day so and may not sleep until tomorrow night.
Cold weather and a healing nipple isn't pleasant. Just so you'll know.
Going to read mail and hope to reply to everyone (ok it's only 3 emails) and then listen to music.
Nite |
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Love slushie beer makes all beer tolerable even weird German beer. |
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I'm not having a good day and some idiot ameha21 is driving me up the wall! Thinking I was some Disney actress! Urgh! Back to work! |
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Yesterday morning I had a good outlet, after a good meet on top of the world. My spazzing brain caught up with me, then family shit poured all over me. The worst part I had a hand in the fuckery, again spazztastic ruled my world. So indulged in a minor pity party, I was the host & guest of honor. Today I will push through the bullshit and learn my lesson. |
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I had a good first meet this afternoon.
:) |
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I hate when I get a first message and there's no complete sentences. Or it sounds like an order...until I serve you sending me those messages will be deleted. |
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Things NOT to think about while working....kissing your ex-girlfriend and sucking a pretty cock.
Need to bring extra underwear to work.
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Before I went to sleep my nipples were so erect my nipple ring hurt. I massaged it a little which made me wan to cum. I haven't released in months, again I will wait. :( |
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I know most here are seeking a kickass booty call but if that's what I wanted I would have continued on the path I was on prior to trying to once again find a Dom.
If what I've dealt with this week is all that's there then I won't last too long. |
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It's very odd to walk around wet but as I allow my imagination to flow I find myself wet. I try to keep it in check while at work but it's proving to be difficult.
Ok must be a good girl and go back to work.
-angel |
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My computer sucks so I'm usually on my iPhone and can't respond quickly. I try! I really do. And let me state just because I have an apartment doesn't mean you're moving in with me or make my place your den.
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