In a retirement home for Old folks one of the old ladies was running up to all the old men lifting her dress shouting "SUPER PUSSY!!"

She goes to the next old guy lift's her dress yelling "SUPER PUSSY!!"

She does the same to the next old man.

His response "I'll take the soup!

COMEBACK OF THE YEAR (quick but good)

A man boarded a plane with six kids. (Gutsy guy!)

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"

He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

Keith and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll try being a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Keith says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him you charge a hundred dollars. Any questions and I’ll be parked around the corner.”

She stands outside the bar for about five minutes showing her leg, when a guy pulls up and asks “How much?”

She says, “A hundred dollars.”

He replies, “All I got is thirty.”

She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Keith and asks. “What now. What can he get for thirty?”

“A hand job,” Keith replied. She runs back and tell the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a hand job.

He agrees and she gets in the car. He unzips his trousers, and out pops his HUGE man-hood. She stares at it for a few seconds, then says. “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to Keith.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Any chance you could lend this guy seventy dollars?”

My birthday today.....Number 48....not sure how I feel....not really much of anything.   Just feels like another day.   But I did decide to take the day off from work.   What the hell...I have plenty of vacation leave, I might as well use it.

Last night I was telling myself I was going to go out and run some errands, but instead today I got distracted by some other things and by the time I said "Oh yeah...I wanted to go out", it was after 1:00 and that wasn't going to leave me much "comfortable" time.   So I managed to talk myself out of it.   This is why I have that "Procrastination" picture on my profile.   If I procrastinate long enough about some things, I can just talk myself out of it completely....for better or worse.

But one thing I wanted to do today was get my "good" boots fixed.   They're coming apart so I haven't been able to use them this winter...and I would really like to have them in usable condition.   So...that was something I didn't get done today...I didn't get my boots fixed.

However, when I told a friend about this via email, he sent me an email back that said:

"It's funny, when I first read your email, I thought it said you wanted to get your boobs fixed. I thought your boobs were pretty nice the way they were."

LMAO!!!

So...I just wanted to say "Thank you Josh....for the good laugh and the wonderful compliment.   My boobs and I both thank you!"

Ok.....the Eagles just scored another touchdown....so now they are still in the leading Dallas 24 to 16 with 6:09 left in the 4th.   This game has been way too much of a nail biter for me, and if Philly doesn't win....I'm going to cry.   So....it's best for me to just go to bed before I see the end of it, and just wait until the morning to find out what happens.....

Heard recently on an old re-run of "Law and Order"

"Women want everything from one man.   Men want one thing from a lot of women"

So simple....yet so wise...

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving holiday.   I enjoyed myself very much with my family and meeting some new friends.    I had a great laugh when someone brought up the topic of "50 Shades of Gray" and mentioned that there was supposed to be a movie coming out in 2014.   One of the ladies piped in with a confused look on her face and said "Isn't that that thing about that dominant stuff?"

"Dominant stuff"?   I just stared down into my drink and didn't say anything until the topic of conversation changed.....

Where I work is notorious for the poor heating in the building.   All winter long we are sitting in our coats while at our desks.   One of my co-workers came up with the best line of the week....

"The good news is....it's 30 degrees warmer in the building than it is outside.        The bad news is....it's 19 degrees outside!"

I have a feeling that this is going to be a long winter.....

Postscript:  Someone gave me a great suggestion after I wrote this entry.   He suggested that maybe I should start wearing a corset to work to help maintain my inner core heat.   Now there's a suggestion worth considering!  Thanks!

I read over and over on this site about "fakes" and "scammers".   I think the key to not getting so frustrated with them all is to have a bit of humor and laugh at them.   It's a great way to deal with a lot of life's stresses.

This morning I was contacted by someone who said (in his message to me) that he was 45 years old and in Delaware.   When I looked at his profile it said he was from Maryland.   So I asked him....did he live in Maryland and work in Delaware?   Or vice versa?  Then I went back to refresh my memory so I knew I was asking the right question, and THEN his profile said he was in Ohio.   Plus then I noticed that his profile said that he was only 35.....

I sent him a message back....was he from Ohio or Maryland?   Then I looked back and his profile said "Maryland" again.    But he was still only 35.

After I told him that I wouldn't give him my Skype ID....and I looked back at his profile....he was now back in Ohio.....

How can you NOT laugh at that?

Surfing around Amazon.com tonight looking for something to download to my Kindle.   I had to crack up when I read in the description of a mystery novel:

"Warning: This book contains foul language, non-explicit sex-scenes, explicit dissection scenes, violence, and considerable female power."

"Considerable female power"???   That's something that a reader needs to be "warned" about??

Needless to say, I had to download the book, just for my own curiosity.....LOL

(WARNING:  This is VERY long....you might want to go get a drink first....)

I meant to make this entry on Tuesday....but alas.....I am just getting to it now.  Hence the reason for adding the "Procrastination" pic to my profile.....much too true!

This past Monday I took a day trip to Washington DC.   Ok...I have to confess....I heard that they now have Kermit the Frog on display at the Smithsonian's Museum of American History, and I wanted to see Kermit!!!   So there...I said it....I've been a big fan of Kermit since I was 3.  If I could have only gotten his autograph....

What started out as a pilgrimage to see my Muppet hero turned into to something much more...much more memorable and much more...emotional....significant.

While I was still home and plotting my travels on the DC Metro system, I noticed that the train that serves the Smithsonian also goes right to Arlington Cemetary.  With Monday being Veterans Day, I thought that would be a nice side trip that wouldn't take much time at all.  I could spend maybe an hour at Arlington and then go back to the Smithsonian for the rest of the day.

As they say..."the best laid plans....."   I got to Arlington a little after 10 that morning and started walking around.   Wow.....wow....all I can say is if you have never been there and you have ANY interest at all in US history, you need to put this on you "bucket list".   I started walking around very casually and reading things here and there, just wandering around.   The next thing I knew....it was FOUR hours later.   I was just SO drawn in and entranced by the sheer beauty of that place and how incredible it is.

Now I'm not an overt patriot.   I don't walk around humming "God Bless America" all day and then feel lost that I forgot to wear my flag lapel pin.  But I do appreciate my country's history, and I like to visit places that bring that history to life.   One thing they have at the Museum of American History is "The Star Spangled Banner"....the flag that was flying over Fort McHenry during the Battle of Baltimore in the War of 1812 that inspired Francis Scott Key to write the words to the US National Anthem.  Which, incidentally is another fantastic trip to make if you have any interest in history.   Fort McHenry has been preserved into a wonderful site to learn about that war and the song.  But I digress...that's another topic for another day...

This HUGE flag that is now 200+ years old has been on display at the Smithsonian as they as been working to preserve it.   I saw it back in 2006 (I think?) while you could see all the work being done on it.   Now that work is finished and they have it in it's own permanent display that tells the story of how it was made, how it inspired Key, and what happened with it from then until now.   Between Arlington and seeing this display, this was a very memorable, emotional, and signficant day for me.  Something I was not expecting at all.

But seeing Kermit was still great too!   I think he was bigger than I expected him to be....

Saw this on another journal....and I liked it....

"question, one chance, one honest answer. You can ask me one question. Any question, anything, no matter how crazy, dirty or wrong it is. No catch. But I dare you to post this on your status and see what people ask you!... My dare done! Now I dare you."

Had an interesting conversation last night and it got me thinking more clearly about some things.   This is going to sound kind of funny considering some of my more recent journal entries.

We were talking about ‘maintenance” and the idea of the slave maintaining the attitude of surrender and humility to the Master and how that can be difficult to maintain with the invasion of the outside vanilla world.   I know it is definitely something I would have trouble with.   I’ve been my own boss for so long, as much as I want to surrender to the right Master,  I know it’s going to be a challenge to not lapse back into my own independent….non submissive….state of mind.   I can see myself bouncing back and forth between “I’m on my own” and “Oh yeah…I'm not on my own anymore.  I’m a slave now...I'm not the one in control anymore”. 

So we were talking about things to do to limit that from happening.   Certainly wearing a collar is a simple and effective method of reminding the slave that she is now someone’s property and not her own person anymore.    Performing certain rituals and routines on a daily basis are also used …kneeling and bowing, serving and talking in certain ways.

For me, what seems to have an effect on me is the position of my body in relation to his….kneeling and bowing to him, and feeling him put his foot on my head.   Anal sex is especially powerful .    There is just something about him standing above and behind me, not being able to see his face, the brief pain when he first enters me,  feeling him get his pleasure even though I don’t have an orgasm from it.  As a matter of fact, NOT getting an orgasm adds to the feeling of being dominated.

I was looking at the "Taken In Hand" website and I thought this one piece was interesting.   **This is NOT my writing**.   This was written by a man at TiH who calls himself "Psychiatrist and was found at:

http://www.takeninhand.com/if.you.want.to.be.in.charge.let.go.of.anger

Something about having a taken-in-hand wife makes me feel like working to support her and the family. It’s hard to put it into words. You so badly want to take care of a wonderful woman because she trusts you to do so. She does as you say and you in turn just can’t bear to disappoint her. It’s a matter of pride as much as anything else. You want her to be right in having faith in you.

That is why having a man in charge does not have to imply the disempowerment of women. We, as men in charge, want our women to do well in the same way that when we are the coach of the football team or the leader of our business team, we want our team to do well. Their success is part of our success. Marriage is a team endeavor.

Male dominance is only dangerous when men feel the need to dominate because they are angry at women and don’t trust them. Unfortunately, some men, such as men's rights activists, and some dominant men in the BDSM community, actually feel victimized by women and so want to be in charge in order to prevent women from hurting them. And indeed it may be true that some men have been victimized by some women (and vice-versa).

But approaching a new relationship holding on to fear associated with an old one and with the need to right perceived or actual abuse in the past inevitably leads to asking the new partner to sacrifice, serve and suffer for the sins of the previous woman or women, thus repeating the abuse but now with the man, the former abuse victim, as the victimizer, and the new woman as the victim. This sets up precisely the conditions in which a new victim is created, and the vicious circle is strengthened. That woman whom you are punishing for the abusiveness of a woman or women past, may go on to punish other men for your abuse of her.

Even if a woman (or man) has hurt you in the past, break free. Let it go. Separate yourself psychologically from that abuse. Leave it in the past. Don't blame others for the abuse you have suffered in the past. Don't punish others for abuse for which they have no moral responsibility. Treat people as individuals instead of making global negative judgements about entire classes of individuals. Don't become that which you despise: a bitter, cynical, hate-filled abuser. That is no way to live. It is painful.

A man should only want to take charge in any situation if he believes that his strengths enable him to utilize the creativity of the wife he is in charge of to make both her and himself better off.

This desire to take charge of your wife is rooted in respect for your partner’s capabilities, not the need to inhibit or hurt them. If you are a man who has abused your power, experiment with finding ways to use your power to make your wife better off. Start putting her and your relationship first—not in a groveling, supplicating, servile way of course, but in a way that makes it more obvious that you care about her. The smile on her face will be plenty worth the effort. And the trust in you that she will develop will give you more power still. No matter what mistakes you have made, you can make changes that make all the difference.

Dominance applied with kindness and love will powerfully engender respect and adoration in your wife. Being in charge can be a tremendously moral and exciting adventure for you both. The more you are able to be firmly in charge but kindly so, the more your wife will respond positively to your leadership, and the more you will enjoy your power over her. Both of you will naturally want to be the best you can be for one another and for yourselves. This striving to be the best for one another is very pleasurable. My beautiful taken-in-hand wife has enabled me to feel that pleasure. I recommend it.

Psychiatrist

One thing I read very often in people's journals  (Hint:  I read primarily journals of male Dominants) ...is a frustration with not getting any response to an introductory message.   A lot of Dominants have said that they wish that submissives would send them something....even if it is "No thanks".

Well....from the viewpoint of a submissive.....I agree with this.   I can understand why they feel this way.  You don't want to be left wondering.  It's nice to know exactly where you stand.

But.....another thing I have noticed very often is that when I send a message of "Not interested", the matter isn't simply dropped.   I get a response of "Why not?" They insist on a specific reason.   

My guess would be that this is the primary reason most submissives don't respond at all to someone they aren't interested.

If you would really rather have a response of "no thanks, not interested" instead of just being ignored (which is understandable)....I would hope that people would follow their own words and actually be satisfied with a simple "No thanks, not interested".

I don't watch a lot of TV.    I don't have a flat screen, HD  or LCD TV.   I have a a little 19 inch "tube" TV that I bought for $50 when I graduated college 24 years ago. (Yikes....has it really been that long??).   I have plain old "basic" cable with no premium channels.   I have no idea what that "Thrones" show is that everyone talks about )  The only thing I really watch on a regular basis is  "CBS News Sunday Morning".  Except.................................

     A couple of years ago I was channel surfing and stumbled onto "Sons of Anarchy" and found myself completely hooked in the first 10 minutes.  I had to get a Netflix membership just so I could go back and watch all the previous seasons.....and then canceled the membership as soon as I saw all the previous seasons.   Well..... After the last season ended I had pretty much forgotten about it.    Until last night.   Once again I eas channel surfing and found it  again and found myself completely sucked in and sitting there until 11:30 when I really should have been in bed.  

What is it about that show?????? 

I've always heard that most Doms/Masters prefer novice sub/slaves so they can train them the way they like them.   I always hear that most Doms/Masters would prefer to not need to deal with a sub/slave that has already been "trained" by someone else because that just means they have to "unteach" all the things the sub/slave learned from her previous Dom/Master.

Ok....that makes sense I guess....although I think it's a little insulting to the sub/slave to infer that any previous experience she may have had would be a hindrance to any future experiences.   Isn't it kind of strange that the "vanilla-professional-employment" world sees it the opposite way?   Most employers, would prefer someone with any kind of related experience as a foundation to whatever employer-specific training they may give to the employee.

To me, what REALLY makes this strange on top of all that, is the number of "Doms/Masters" out there who say they are interested in "training" subs/slaves....but aren't interested in having a LTR.   Now.....if most Doms/Masters would prefer a "clean slate" to train all for themselves.....what is the freaking point of all these guys who want to "train" subs and slaves, but then don't want a LTR with the ones they have trained?

There are just some things I will NEVER understand.....

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its
heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the
daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem
less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that
pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the
winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within
you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy
in silence and tranquillity:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by
the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has
been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has
moistened with His own sacred tears.

-- Kahlil Gibran "On Pain"

Thinking about my experience the other day with my vibrating chair made me think about something I saw on TV that was SO funny.....

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQspIJnQLRE

The bad news is.....they are working on repairing the brick and concrete right outside the door where my desk is. Which means the loud....annoying...noise of jackhammers all day....

The good news is.....it's making my chair vibrate!

(*DISCLAIMER* - This is a great piece, but I did not write it...I don't know who did, but I can't take credit for it)

ECONOMICS EXPLAINED!

 SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.
The consultant then tells you that the American cows were too expensive and you should  invest in Chinese cows....because 10 Chinese cows can produce milk at the same cost as 1 American cow

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One of them is a horse.

Ok....as a general rule I don't make comments about other people's profiles.   Wait...I take that back....I try to not make NEGATIVE comments about people's profiles.   I don't accuse anyone of being "fake" or a scammer.    I've never talked to anyone I would suspect was a scammer.  (Although I have a feeling that the men on here are a hell of a lot more susceptible to being scammed than the women are....but that's another topic.)

 BUT....I was just looking at who recently viewed my profile and there was a picture of a young woman....said she was 27 years old and submissive.   She looked fairly attractive.....seems to have a bit "Asian" in her appearance, and I know a lot of men really like that.   But what totally killed the picture for me was that she was flipping the bird to the camera.

 Now....I don't consider myself a beauty queen by any stretch of the imagination.   But why anyone would think that making a crude gesture like that makes you attractive, and why you would want to publish such a picture,  is something I will never understand.   And why anyone who saw such a picture would think she was attractive is even harder to understand.

Just got home from a day in New York for another visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

There's a special exhibit there right now of art and photographs that were done during the Civil War.   The photographs are really interesting considering this was photography in its infancy and was the first time that people who were never on the battlefield were able to see what it was like.   There is one photograph of Abraham Lincoln and Gen. George McClellan shortly after the Battle of Antietam.  That was really cool.

Damn that place is HUGE.    I still haven't seen all of it, but I think the next time I go on a museum excursion to NYC I'm going to go see http://www.museumofsex.com/

    The Museum of SEX!   Wow....I bet that's an interesting place to go on a date......

For me, I was never taught (nor did I ever believe) that women were better than men or that men were better than women.   What I was taught as a child was that I needed to learn to be able to live without a man.   Not because being with a man was a bad thing, but because there was no guarantee in life that said I was always going to have a man around to (as some Doms put it....) "provide, protect and love" me.   There have been periods of time in my life (like now) where I have been alone and needed to be able to stand on my own without the support of a man.

In spite of the deep submissive nature that I have felt in myself since I was a child, I am glad that my parents instilled these lessons of independence in me.   I would have never survived this far into life if they had not.   The problem is that those lessons are in direct conflict with the belief that a woman should submit control to the man in her life.   I wrestled with these beliefs, and my internal nature for a very long time.

Something for all the Masters out there.... With my job I see a LOT of job applications. Today I couldn't help but chuckle out loud (to the quizzical looks of my co-workers) when I saw that the FIRST name of one of the applicants was "Master". Can you imagine EVERYONE calling you "Master"? Your parents? Your schoolteachers? Your boss at your job? Certainly it's already a "given" for your wife or girlfriend.... I can't help but wonder if this man is actually in an M/s relationship. I wonder if his parents are/were M/s.....

My Next Life....By Woody Allen

In my next life I want to live backwards.

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old people's home....feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until your young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You party, drink alcohol and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play.

You become a baby until you are born.

And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with controlled heating and room service on tap. Larger quarters every day and then Voila!

You finish off as an ORGASM!

Been watching all the media frenzy about Amanda Berry and the other women who were held captive in Cleveland for so many years....and the interviews with Charles Ramsey, the neighbor that helped rescue them.

I was touched by something Charles Ramsey said when he was talking to Anderson Cooper on CNN....

Here is a man who obviously doesn't have a lot of money.  About 5 minutes into this clip, he even comments how the only thing that used to keep him awake at night was a lack of money, but now what keeps him awake is the thought that he has lived so close to these women for almost a whole year, but wasn't able to do anything sooner to help them.

Then about 6 minutes into it, he was asked if anyone has said anything to him about any possible reward from the FBI.    Without the slightest hesitation, Ramsey says "I'll tell you what you do....give it to them. 'Cause if folks been following this case since last night, and you been following me since last night, you know I got a job anyway."  Then he pulls his paycheck out of his pocket and says "Yeah...so take that reward and give it to..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5elloa4kOc

Nice to know that there are people out there like Charles Ramsey

The Storyteller's Creed

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.

That myth is more potent than history.

That dreams are more powerful than facts.

That hope always triumphs over experience.

That laughter is the only cure for grief.

And I believe that love is stronger than death.

                                                   --Robert Fulghum

I've always enjoyed Fulghum's writing.  It's so simple and so true.  His works are just that....stories.   Not stories he writes....but stories he tells.   By that I mean that he talks of true events.  Very little of it is made up.  He calls his books "a written report of what goes on in my head and life." with some changes to some names and fact "to protect those who are either innocent or crabby or both."

I pulled this book off my shelf this morning because I remembered the Storyteller's Creed.  The last two lines in it rang very true for me this past week.   I lost a dear loved one earlier this week, but people who loved her and I got through it by laughter.   We told and retold all the stories about her.  Our eyes were moist, but it was from laughter....not grief.  And even though she is now gone, we all will continue to love her, because love is indeed stronger than death.

============================================

While I'm on the subject of Fulghum's books....

I remember when I bought one of his books, it was all wrapped tight in plastic because when you opened it there were several little cards and papers stuffed inside.   Mostly advertisements and mail order stuff.  But one of them was a little 3x5 card with this quote on it:

"Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated.  You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps."

I don't remember the name of who the quote was credited to...I wish I did.   But when I read this, a bit of a light bulb went on in my head.    It was something that had never occurred to me.   This was simple...yet so true.   I had that taped on my bedroom mirror for about 5 years....

If you've never seen this video.....even if you're not in to country music, you can't help but laugh.   This always makes me smile when I need it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjkLf_X88WM

I'm watching "CBS Sunday Morning"....they're talking to a 76 year-old woman who writes "erotic romance" novels.   And to ensure that she can accurately describe certain "situations" (is what she wants to describe physically possible?)  she uses a set of Barbie dolls to work out body positions.   She said that rignt now she has a Barbie, Ken and Tracy doll....because she's working on the description of a threesome......I just had to laugh.

She was putting them in certain positions that CBS had to "gray out" of the picture....

Too damned funny.

Strange....had an interesting episode of somewhat emotional introspection this evening.

 In so many profiles I read here, I see so much....unfriendly and....unreceptive writing.  "Everyone here is a fake!"   "Don't contact me IF____(fill in the blank)"   So many people here put so much emphasis and attention on the people they have encountered that they don't like, but don't say much of anything about they NICE people they have talked to here on CM.   Sure....I've gotten messages from people who have made me look at them a little sideways.  I simply stop the contact and move on...no harm, no foul.

 But I have also encountered a much greater number of very nice, interesting, funny and thoughtful people.   I may not have found "the one I am looking for" yet, but that doesn't mean that everyone else I have talked to has been a complete waste of my time.

 I had a brief e-mail exchange with someone today and while there was nothing super remarkable about what was said in the messages between us.  It just suddenly struck me that this person that I have known for barely a few weeks, and that I know only through online messages echanchged, actually thought about me....and thought about me enough to take the time out to write me a message to send me good wishes for the day.

 I know it doesn't sound very extraordinary, and it's not the first time it has happened....I have people send messages to me all the time...what's the big deal?  But for some odd reason tonight it struck me in a funny way....the idea that I am someone this person has known for a pretty short period of time, yet I actually crossed his mind for a moment enough for him to take the time to send me a message.  LIke I said, it's not the first time it has happened, it's just the first time it really occured to me in this way.  So now I sit here and think about all the other people before now who have done the same thing, and it makes me smile.  It makes me smile to think that there ARE some very nice and very decent people out there.   Not everyone is a "fake".  Not everyone on here is a rotten jerk.   There actually are quite a few very nice people out there....and I'm thankful that they have taken the time to think about me.

When I was a teenager, I used to think there was something wrong with me.  Not because I had submissive feelings....I knew there were other people in the world like me in that regard.   But I can remember hanging out at the local shopping mall and all my friends would point out all the cutest boys and ooh and ahh.....and I would shrug...."Yeah....he's nice looking I guess".   I noticed that I was never really attracted to any boy until after I started talking to him for awhile, and what would really get my attention was his intelligence.   Was he able to actually hold a conversation and speak in (at least mostly) complete sentences?   Did he have interest in anything except football and comic books?  Did he know what was going on in the world....or just what happened last night on WWF?

 Many years later I discovered that I'm not the only one like this....and there is a name for it....."sapiosexual".

 Why am I sapiosexual?  I don't know...but they do say opposites attract...

The idea of submission......there's a difference between having a play spanking, and lying across his lap or bending over the side of the bed for discipline or punishment.   It's a frame of mind that is very hard to describe.  The idea of bowing down in front of someone and giving him control over what I do and what affects me....that's not just bdsm play.  I like the emotional reaction those things bring up in me.   Even if that "reaction" is fear, it's something I'm not used to doing, and something I'm not used to feeling.....it's a big step away from my daily life where I don't seem to "feel" much of anything. 

So....I guess it makes me feel alive.

A woman's use of caution and careful thought does not mean she is not submissive or that she is a "fake".  A man's exercise of careful patience does not mean he is not a true Dominant.